Quanta, page 23
Did I? It wasn’t hard to backtrack my thought process. I must’ve wanted the helmets for the same reason we were using them now—the secure line. “Did you recover them?”
“Nope. Got a fat stack of credits to replace them, so I’m guessing they’re scrap.” A screen popped into view and she flicked it toward me, across the white void. “Security blocked me from getting any session data, but the user specs automatically uploaded to my cloud before their system locked everything down. Got a pic of your girl.”
An image expanded.
My breath caught.
It wasn’t a real photo. Just a render of her face from the helmet’s data.
Her eyes were closed, rimmed in thick lashes. No colors. Just measurements. Some basic data. And yet…
I realized I was gripping the fabric of my robes, right above the spot where the ache lodged in my chest.
I knew her. I didn’t know her, but I knew her.
Quanta.
“You look like you just got punched.” Cass moved to me and peered at the picture. “Recognize her?”
“I’m probably reacting to my programming.” It was exactly what Eva wanted. Just one imperfect picture and I was compelled. I could only imagine the pull Quanta would have if we met in person.
I’d be helpless. Just a zombie. A pawn. An NPC. I’d gone to Eva to avoid a fate like that, and she’d fooled me into thinking her way would be different.
It wasn’t. I’d simply changed masters.
“Then you’re going after her?” Cassie asked.
“Maybe.” I’d joined Eva’s mission to help girls like Quanta, but I was working toward saving all of them. I couldn’t throw that away for one, no matter how much guilt I felt. “What are the odds you could hack me into the Seligo mainframe?”
“Yeah. No. You remember when I hacked the toaster?”
In spite of the situation, a smile quirked my lips. “At least we were allowed to move out after the fire.”
“Still…” She scratched the corner of her eye. “Maybe I know someone who could—”
“No.” I hardened my voice. “I’ll get the answers I need. I don’t want you caught up in my mistakes.”
She muttered something rebellious.
“I’m serious,” I said.
“You looked happy.”
I froze. “What?”
“Just now.” Cass waved at the render that still floated in VR. “You smiled at her picture.”
“I didn’t smile.” If anything, I must’ve glared.
“You smiled,” Cass insisted. “And I’ve never ever seen you smile at someone you don’t like. Not once.”
“If you say so.” I ran a hand through my hair, trying to settle the unease that kept building inside me. If Quanta meant nothing to me, then why did she keep throwing me off balance?
I needed to figure out the truth. Eva didn’t have the answers and I wouldn’t trust her anyway. The burden was on me now. I had to dig up the truth.
“I do say so.” Cass gave me a gentle shove. “Now get out of my reality. Some of us have shit to do.”
“You promise you’re not going to get involved?”
Cass rolled her eyes. “I don’t promise anything.”
“I’ll order you a pizza.”
“I promise not to get involved.”
“Good.” I tapped into my interface to log out. The white light cut and then I was back to the workroom. As I slid off the helmet, a heavy breath gusted from my lungs.
I’d promised to honor Allison’s memory. To make up for her death. I’d never accomplish that playing puppet to some captive Red.
But I doubted it was that easy.
I needed to remember Quanta and then I could decide what to do about her.
Chapter Thirty-One
QUANTA
Reality cracking sounded like glass being fed through a wood chipper.
Which was weird. I’d never heard a wood chipper in real life.
And I hadn’t seen a non-vision sky in ten years now.
And you’re never going to.
Shut up. When did my mental voice get so mean?
You shut up.
Uh. Who do you think this is?
Right.
I was arguing with myself again.
Crickity. Crackity. Another pane spat through the chipper.
At least my ghosts were here to keep me company.
They’d come back with a vengeance and they crowded so thick I couldn’t see the present. If there was still a present?
A stone room that reeks of moss; a beach of lapping waves; a barn where a fiddle shrieks and feet stamp, and ghostly couples whirl around me, whooping and laughing; gunshots and ash; whipping winds of snow and ice; smacking lips and the nauseating scent of bubblegum; a woman cubing a mango in a stainless steel kitchen; Darren laughing like the sound of my doom.
Faces. Music. Choking smells.
Loud. Loud. Loud.
“She’s non-responsive again,” said a voice from a place. Was it now, or another time?
“Dose her,” Darren said. Just his voice made me twitch.
I blinked, and for a moment, the specters cleared.
A white room. White coats. Glowing tech junk.
Tubes. Sensors. Sticky things pulling against my skin.
If this was reality, I didn’t want it.
“Her pulse is—”
“I can see the reading,” Darren spat the words.
I couldn’t tell the past from the future anymore. Not in any coherent way.
My head hurt too much for that and I was still paying for what I’d done. I might be paying for a while.
I couldn’t last much longer. What with the drugs.
I let out a breath and tried to feel where I was. The table bed hard against my back. Soft beeps. A scratchy patch on my ankle.
I should just accept that it was almost over.
Just die already.
But I don’t want to.
You want to live like this? My body jerked, shaking the table.
No. I wanted the other future. The one I’d seen with Tair. The one with a sky and colors that didn’t start with W.
Hot tears built in the corners of my eyes.
I wouldn’t give up.
If Darren came closer…
A new wave of drugs washed into me, and everything blurred harder.
My game board was almost cleared, but if I had to go out, I was going to take him with me.
I couldn’t see if that was possible anymore, but it was all I had.
A little vengeance to get me through.
A spectral Tair floated into my mind.
He curls into himself, glasses resting on the sheet beside him, his hair dark and damp. He reads a book, his golden brown eyes staring at the page, but not moving along the lines.
Thinking. Maybe about me?
Or not.
My ribs ached. Breathing hurt.
Tair was free. He’d do his science thing. Save lots of Reds.
Weren’t they lucky.
But it was better that way.
Better…
Gods, my lungs hurt.
Tick. Tock.
Crick. Crack.
It was almost time for me to go.
Chapter Thirty-Two
ALTAIR
Setting down my book, I fell back on the bed, utterly restless. Nothing was jogging my memory of the lost time. I’d been using Cassie’s encrypted channels to do research, but Quanta was a ghost.
Talked about in whispers, even by the few Ravens who’d known her as a child.
And I couldn’t remember. The hairs stood on my arms.
Whatever I’d lost, I wanted it back.
A string of curses from the kitchen broke my daze. I let out a breath and headed toward the clanking noises. Cass stood in front of the printing unit, punching buttons and scowling.
“You’re cooking?” I asked as I slid into a seat at the breakfast bar.
“Trying to.” She peered through the window and jiggled the handle, as if doing so would make her dinner print faster. “I want food before the creep comes back.”
“I don’t blame you.” Darren Waldman stopped in every night to glare and ask pointed questions that revealed a subtle hatred I couldn’t understand, but somehow returned. He was another one talked about in hushed tones—only horror instead of awe.
Cass rubbed her hands along her arms. “How much longer is he going to hang around?”
I leaned against the cool countertop and massaged my forehead. “Probably until I do whatever it is that he wants me to do.” He was obviously waiting for me to slip and incriminate myself, but I wouldn’t break from a few dirty looks.
“If you can get him to put on a helmet, we can stick him in a super convincing room escape game for a few hours.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” It would never happen, but I smiled as I pictured him stuck in VR.
Cass punched the printing unit and then hissed, clutching her knuckles. She always made me smile, even when she didn’t mean to. Watching her putter around the kitchen, I couldn’t help putting her in Quanta’s place.
If it were her in captivity, I’d get her out. No question. The security and risk would mean nothing.
I’d never leave her with a degenerate like Waldman.
I took off my glasses and set them on the countertop. The frames always weighed me down, but looking at them was no better. It made me remember Allison and my promise. I’d pledged to live my life to honor her memory. To stop the senseless deaths and suffering.
Quanta was suffering. I didn’t need to remember to know that. It was obvious after a decade in Seligo care.
Guilt tightened my chest. I wanted to save her, I just couldn’t see how it would be possible. I didn’t have the information and I was already on thin ice after whatever had happened to wipe my memory. I ground my knuckles into my temples.
How could I get back the lost time?
“What are you sighing for?” Cass asked as she set down a plate.
“No reason.” At least no reason I could recall.
Even knowing nothing, I knew I’d never find peace with myself if I left Quanta to her fate.
The smell of charred meat turned my gaze to Cassie’s plate. “You printed bacon?”
“Like I’m going to fire up the stove?” She chomped a piece and then winced. “Okay. Yeah. Maybe not my best idea.” As she chewed, her face pinched. “Can’t you cook for me? Some waffles would be a nice gesture.”
“I’m sure they would, but I don’t cook.” I picked up one of the blackened strips and eyed it with suspicion.
“Then I’m ordering pizza.” She started tapping into the touch screen on the refrigerator. “I leave you to dispose of the remains.”
Out of curiosity, I took a bite. Charred, cardboard bacon. The taste was as awful as expected.
I’d tasted it before. Many times, unless I was—
Quanta.
Dizziness rolled over me and I gripped the countertop to keep from falling from my chair.
Doctor Nagi.
The time loop.
Breakfast after breakfast. My memory came back in bursts, each image hitting me like a fist to the chest.
The torture.
Darren fucking Waldman.
And Quanta.
Quanta. The breath froze in my lungs and white tinged my vision.
I remembered everything. And Jesus. I’d abandoned her.
No.
She’d pushed me away at the end. She’d given me the chance to survive.
More than a chance. A choice. To accept our pairing or not.
Now her words echoed over the ringing in my head. You have to tell Eva. Make a difference.
I would make a difference.
By going after her.
No question.
Lightheaded, I panted, trying to ride out the wave of images, but my thoughts kept twisting.
Quanta had been on her own for days, dealing with the fallout. Alone with Darren. Nagi. In that cold, white room.
“Tair?”
I jerked as Cass touched my shoulder, jolting me back to reality.
“You okay?” She asked.
Not at all. I had to go now. I had to get to her now.
She had to be okay.
I lurched from the chair and Cass grabbed me before I could stumble.
“Whoa. What’s wrong?”
“Just a little lightheaded.” But there was no time for that. “Let me sit in one of your VR chairs.”
“Why? Shouldn’t you—”
“Cass.” I widened my eyes and flicked my gaze toward her workroom, knowing she’d pick up the hint.
“Fine.” She gripped my arm and started to drag me down the hall.
Images and memories still jumbled in my head. I could hardly balance. Hardly focus. Anxiety gripped my heart and lungs. I had to get to Quanta, but I wouldn’t be able to reach her on my own.
I needed Eva’s help. She was the last person I wanted to ask, but I had no other choice. Quanta couldn’t stay in that dungeon a second longer.
As soon as I collapsed into one of Cassie’s chairs, I held out my hands. “Toss me a helmet.”
“You can’t be serious.” Cass’s brows lifted almost to her hairline.
“You’ve never seen me so serious.”
She squinted at that, but handed over the helmet. I jammed it on and gripped the chair arms as I waited for the program to start.
“Running in three… Two… One…”
Whiteness blinded me. I spun for a moment, disoriented in the empty space.
“You’re such a—”
“Call Eva,” I said before she could get started.
Cass sucked in a breath. “You remembered?”
“I remembered.”
“And?” She was already tapping something into her interface.
“And I’m going after Quanta.” I bunched my hands into fists. I have to get back to her.
“That’s my bro.”
The screen hovering in front of us filled with Eva’s image. Her red hair was neatly pinned and she looked much more the woman in charge I remembered, even if I didn’t know her anymore. “Altair?”
“My memories are back.”
“So you’re going to save her.” Eva’s lips quirked with a smug little smile.
“Yes.” I gritted my teeth. “And you’re going to help.”
“If breaking into the senate were within my power, I would’ve done it years ago.” Eva’s forehead pinched. “You have to—”
“I already have a plan. Put your new hacker on the line.”
“Cipher?” Eva started. “She’s not ready for—”
“Let me talk to her.”
Eva stared into the cam, her gaze hard. “I hope this rudeness isn’t permanent, Altair.”
I shrugged. “Are you going to help me save Quanta or not?” I already knew the answer and I wouldn’t play polite any more. Not for Eva. Not for anyone. Not when Quanta was waiting for me.
Eva stood, but her voice carried as she walked off camera. “Marquez? Bring Emma to my lab. It seems I have a mission for the two of you.”
After endless seconds that dragged, giving me far too much time to wonder what hell Quanta was going through, two new figures stepped into the screen. I recognized Hunter Marquez—tall and tanned, with a Black and Green Helix tattooed on his forearm.
He also recognized me, and his pale, green eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Didn’t expect to hear from you, Orpheus.”
Of course he hadn’t. I’d killed one of his friends.
In any case, he wasn’t the person I needed. The girl at his side peered into the cam. This had to be Cipher. With her blue hair, tattoos, and lip ring, she looked like a textbook Void dweller, but if she could help, I didn’t care how she dressed. “You’re the hacker?”
Cipher scowled. “You’re the asshole who left a Red in danger?”
“Not by choice. How fast can you get me a program to bring down security at Alpha Citadel?”
“How fast?” She laughed, but the sound wasn’t humorous. “You’re out of your goddamned mind. The last time I tried to hack the Citadel I almost ended up worm food. No fucking way am I stupid enough to try again. And not from here, either. I’d put all the Ravens at risk.”
“I’m not asking for a hack.” My gut clenched. Impossible wasn’t in my vocabulary today. “I’ll already be behind the firewall. I need a program. Something to black out power and security systems for a few minutes.”
Cass punched my arm. “Hello? Did you forget about your genius sister?”
Not quite. I knew she’d cook something up if I asked, but it wasn’t her area of expertise, and I didn’t want her fingerprints on the code if I went down mid-rescue. “You don’t need to be involved in this, Cass.”
“Cass?” Cipher squinted at the screen, and then blinked. “Wait. Cassiopeia? Orpheus?”
“See?” Cass hit me again. “I’m famous.”
Apparently. “You know each other?”
“Not really,” Cass said. “Just anyone who knows tech knows Cipher.”
“And I know your games,” Cipher said. “But we mostly play console in the Voids. Nobody has the servers to host VR.”
“Console gaming?” Cassie’s mouth twisted. “That’s so—”
“Can you debate platforms later?” I didn’t have time for this. My neck prickled with the need to take action. “Quanta’s life is in danger.”
“Quanta?” Cipher turned to Eva.
“She’s his match,” Eva said, as if that explained everything.
It did.
“Shit.” Hunter gripped Cipher’s shoulder. “Where?”
“Doctor Nagi’s facility underneath the senate. If you can work up a program for me, I can upload it from my father’s office.”
“Maybe.” Cipher chewed at her lip ring. “I could probably buy you a few minutes, but getting out…”
“Just get me in.” I was already brewing a plan based on my mental map. Which lifts to take. Where to plant explosives. I’d need smoke pellets. Weapons. Even then it would be borderline suicidal, but I had to try. “Please.”
“I need a few hours,” Cipher said.
“Thank you.” I couldn’t relax, but it was a start.
“I’d like you to put a team together, Knight,” Eva said. “We’ll coordinate an external distraction to go off as Altair uploads the program.”
