The Dirt Road Home, page 17
“Why is this on the floor?” Death asks. Yes, Death has returned. I bang my head back into the cabinets.
“I must’ve dropped it and forgot to pick it up,” I tell him, trying to get to my feet.
His hand lands on the center of my chest, fingers splayed, holding me where I’m at. “Daffodil,” he warns.
My eyes fall shut and I take a deep breath. It’s not that I don’t want Death to hurt Darrin because I do. But Brentley is wanting to leave Death behind. I want him to leave his life of death behind. He wants a new way of life and so do I. If I let him hurt Darrin, that will always be between us, and I don’t want that. That kind of guilt would eat me alive. “I told you, I dropped it.” The heat of his hand is searing right through my shirt. I’m sure his handprint will be branded on my skin.
“Once upon a time a girl asked a boy to stay with her. She asked him to be careful with her heart. He agreed. They made a promise to each other to always be truthful.” My eyes open and I see the hurt I’m causing by keeping this from him. “Does that sound familiar?” His head tips and his jaw clenches. A deadly silence fills the air as I weigh my options.
If I tell him he will want to kill Darrin. That is fact. Can I trust him to adhere to my wishes and refrain from hurting him? Not for Darrin but for us. I think about the stars hanging over Erelah right now. Yes, I can trust him. I can. Brentley wants to share my life with me. He doesn’t want me to carry the weight of everything by myself. My eyes fall closed again.
Trust. Trust. Trust.
“He was here today,” I whisper.
I wait for the rage. When it doesn’t come, I open my eyes. He is staring at his hand that is still pressed to my chest. When his eyes roll up to mine, there is an intensity in them that rocks me to my core. “You are mine, Mia,” he growls.
Fuck. I shiver at the rumble of his voice. My head nods without thought. “I am yours.” Oh god do I want to be his. The way he is looking at me is enough to melt my panties right the fuck off.
“I’m going to put Bandit in the kennel for tonight and lock up. Go upstairs and wait for me.”
I swallow and clear my throat. “Um, aren’t you hungry? We haven’t had supper.”
“Oh, I’m hungry. Go.” He leans away from me, and I quickly rise, skittering from the kitchen.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I rush to the closet to grab a towel. Running to the bathroom, I turn the water on in the shower and hop in. One hand rubs shampoo in my hair while the other clumsily drags a razor up my leg. “Shit!” I curse, cutting myself. He could have given me a bit of a heads up.
As I’m drying off I stare at my reflection. I’m nervous, excited, terrified, and, and everything! This is it. He is going to take me tonight and if it’s anything like the teaser he gave me the other night, I better saddle the fuck up.
When I open the bathroom door, I hear him talking to Bandit. “I know, I know boy, but I don’t need an audience for this.”
I quietly pad down to my room. Opening my underwear drawer, I sift through things at warp speed. Shit, I don’t have anything sexy in here. I slam the drawer shut. The shower turns on down the hall. Okay, calm down, I have time, he is showering too. Think Mia. Think.
Nothing. I’ll wear nothing. I’m his. All of me is his. I run the brush through my hair, smooth the comforter out on the bed and wait. No, this still isn’t right. I rummage through my drawer finding a candle and lighting it. I place it on the stand beside the bed. When the water shuts off, I jump up to turn out the light and perch myself on the middle of the bed with just a sheet wrapped lightly around my waist.
Minutes pass and then my door slowly opens. Death steps inside, quietly closing the door behind him. The candlelight flickers over his powerful, naked frame. My breath catches in my throat. I’m going to do this. I’m really going to do this. Sleep with someone other than Darrin. Something I had never even considered until Death knocked on my door. A man I very much want. Maybe even need.
He walks to the edge of the bed. His dark eyes drink me in. A warm hand reaches out and cradles my cheek. My eyes drop closed and the mattress dips next to me as he crawls onto the bed beside me. His whiskers brush against the cheek that is not currently being caressed in his hand. He whispers into my ear. “You are mine, Mia.” I nod and feel him smile against my neck.
When he pulls away, I miss his warmth immediately and my body sways towards him, seeking more. More him. I open my eyes to see him sitting in front of me. Watching me. “Are you nervous?” I ask.
“No, I’m not, Mia. I’m happy. Happy that I finally get the chance to show you that you are mine. You’ve always been mine. I’m going to show you just how much I own your body.”
A shiver races down my spine. His smile is evil. He is going to destroy me, and he knows it. The confidence this man exudes is terrifying sometimes. No first-time jitters from him. None. I sit frozen, waiting for his next move. The anticipation for his hands to be on me is killing me. His eyes move over my breasts, and I swear I can feel them there. My nipples tighten into tight little buds, and he grins wickedly. “You have beautiful tits, Mia.” He palms them both as he speaks, and I groan. “Who do they belong to?”
“You,” I rasp.
He leans in and kisses the spot where my shoulder and neck collide. The feel of his lips there, so soft, so warm, make my thoughts scatter. My only focus is on his mouth, his hands. He is lulling me into a trance. My hands reach around to tug him to me, pulling him closer. He stills and pulls away. He backs off the bed. I want to cry. “I’ll be right back,” he says.
Where did he go? Did I do something wrong? He comes back with a box of condoms and his tie. Oh fuck. He sets the box on the bedside table and comes at me with the tie. He runs the silky material between his fingers. “Do you trust me, Daffodil?”
He wants to tie me up. Death wants to tie me up!
“W-why?”
“Because if you touch me I will lose control. Tonight, I’m making you mine. I refuse to come like a goddammed school-boy. I need to be in control, Mia.” His eyes are drowning me. He wants me to give him all the power. He wants me to trust him. “I promise I won’t hurt you. But I won’t lie to you, Mia. You will beg me. You will believe you will die without my touch.” The silver in his eyes catches the light from the candle. They are twinkling, pulling me into a dangerous, unknown galaxy. My body begins to tremble.
I place my wrists together and hold my hands out to him. I trusted him with my death, why wouldn’t I trust him with my life? “Let the begging begin,” I challenge.
He grins like a villain. The silk tie drapes over my wrists, and he makes quick work of securing them together. My chest heaves with each breath I take. This is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Since he arrived at my doorstep with a vase of daffodils in hand, my life has been anything but boring.
He pushes me back onto the bed with a finger to the chest. He kisses me…everywhere. From head to toe and then he flips me onto my stomach and it’s the same. When he works his way up the back of my thighs his fingers grip my ass almost painfully and then he bites. He fucking bites me right on the ass cheek and before I can grasp what is happening he does it again to the other side. “Mine,” he growls and fuck if I don’t almost come. His growl is the sexiest thing my ears have ever had the pleasure of hearing. He grabs my hips, pulling them off the mattress and his nose buries into my heat.
“Oh. Oh,” I squeak. The pain of his bite morphs into something warm and inviting. His tongue delves and homes in on that wonderful bundle of nerves. “I’m…Brentley…I’m…” Two fingers thrust into me, and I’m gone. Gone. Lost to him. To his hands, his tongue, his soul…he does own me.
I turn my head, trying to catch my breath. His face is suddenly beside me, whiskers brushing over my cheek, and I can feel the length of him rubbing between thighs as he presses me down into the mattress. My breasts ache delightfully against the sheets. I moan, long and drawn out. “You are so beautiful when you come,” he whispers over my shoulder.
Suddenly, he flips me over, raising my hands over my head. His mouth latches onto my nipple, easing the ache there and then he slides over to worship the other. My hips embarrassingly rise and fall in the empty space above me. I want him there. Between my legs. I want him there so bad. “Please,” I push my head back into the pillow as he nips at me, his teeth grazing lightly over my sensitive skin.
A deep chuckle erupts from his throat, sending a buzz straight down my spine. My hips thrash harder. Something, I need something. I need him. His hand roams down, down, down. He presses on my pelvic bone, pushing me into the mattress, stilling me. “Don’t move and maybe I’ll let you come again,” his eyes roll up to meet mine. I’m dying. He is right, I’m dying.
I still, trying so hard to hold every muscle motionless. But I’m trembling, and I can’t stop. I’m shaking like I’m caught in a blizzard, except I’m not cold. No, I’m not cold. I’m burning up. The devil has set me on fire and only he can put me out. His hand draws lower and when his finger drags across my clit I jump. I couldn’t have stopped the bolt of electricity that coursed through me if I had tried.
Slowly, so torturously slow he teases me. My hips wiggle, trying to position his hand where I need it. He clicks his tongue. “Mia. Mia. Mia,” he purrs. “You’re not doing a very good job at holding still. You want to come don’t you?”
Tears spring to my eyes in frustration. “Yes, yes, please let me come. Please,” I whine, my eyes rolling back in my head as he slides a finger inside of me before slowly pulling it back out. He is like a drug that I’m quickly becoming addicted to. I need a fix. One fix. But I know it will never be enough.
I lived my whole life not knowing how good this could be. So good. I’m trying hard to hold still so he will let me come but I can’t. My body is writhing over the sheets like a madwoman. If my hands were free I would grab him and force him to touch me where I need. “Please, please I need you. Please, Brentley, please take me. I’m….” My back arches off the mattress as his finger finds my entrance again. I grit my teeth, continuing to take whatever he decides to give. “Please, please, I’m yours,” I force the words out. I’m so close. “Christ,” I scream in frustration.
All at once he is between my legs. He reaches over and plucks a shiny foil packet out of the box and through lust filled eyes I watch him tear it open with his teeth. I groan out loud, my eyes narrowing as he rolls the condom over his length. Oh, God. He looks like sin kneeling between my legs. If this is what sin is then I never want to be good again.
He leans over me with his deadly weapon, it patiently awaits its target. My hips rise on their own accord. Encouraging the dangerous thing to come closer. Yes, yes. He lowers himself over me, bracing his forearms on either side of my head. He looks deep into my eyes as I feel the tip of him nudge at my entrance. “Yes,” I hiss, and he smiles, that wicked, wicked grin.
“You’re not going to keep things from me ever again, are you Mia?” His cock glides over me lazily. I’m so fucking sensitive I cry out, squirming under his hard body. “Hmm?” he hums, his lips lightly flirting over mine.
“Please,” I beg and beg. Then he is there again, nudging his way inside of me. A sound I’ve never heard escapes me and I mumble dirty words into his mouth. He reaches up and quickly tugs at the tie around my wrists, releasing my hands and instantly I have them on his ass, pulling him closer to me. His thighs tense, keeping himself stilled with just the tip of him inside me.
“So impatient, Mia. I want this moment to last. It is my first you know.” He kisses me long and hard, his hips twitching slightly. His restrain is fucking amazing. He pulls back. “You are my first. My last. My only,” he whispers and then he thrusts into me so forcefully I gasp. Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I come so hard, my muscles clench around him. Mine. Mine. Mine.
He groans into my neck, stilling when he bottoms out inside of me. He grits his teeth, sucking in a breath. “Christ, Mia, you feel so good. So good,” he murmurs into my neck.
I’m barely coherent as he starts to rock his hips back and forth. In and out. “Oh, oh, god. Brentley, I’m…fuck…oh…” and again I’m lost in a black mist. I don’t even get a chance to come down from my orgasm, I’m held there, suspended in the darkness. Again? Oh my god. “No, no, oh shhhhhhit!” I scream as the darkness swallows my words, my tears….me. It swallows me. My nails claw at his back.
I feel him getting harder, bigger as he thrusts like he is punishing me, punishing himself. I’m trembling beneath him, spent, but when my eyes lock onto his, an ember catches, and another orgasm taunts me. Again? You’ve got to be kidding me. My entire body tenses as he pounds into me. “Come for me, Mia,” he groans, and I do. Oh, how I fucking do. It starts in my toes and creeps like a breathing, living beast through my body until I am screaming his name.
He stills and I feel him twitch deep inside me. He’s hit me in a place that’s never been touched by anyone but him. I’m his. From the moment he emailed me. I’ve always been his. This was always going to be the outcome. How do I know? Because I feel it deep in my bones. He is right, I’ve always been his. I feel it now. God. Do. I. Feel. It.
His body crushes me into the mattress and we both pant like we’ve just run a marathon. “Christ, Mia,” he whispers, his face still buried into my neck. “That was…that was,” he sucks in a deep breath before slowly releasing it, “life changing,” he finishes.
It was. It really, really, was. He pushes up on his arms and stares down at me. His eyes flick between mine, he is searching for something. What? My hand comes up to brush the hair away from his face. “What’s wrong,” I ask gently.
“Did I…I mean…I didn’t hurt you, did I?” The concern in his eyes is enough to break me. Fucking break me. He could never hurt me. Never. The fact he is worried that he did makes my feelings for him grow and grow and grow until they spill out and run down my cheeks.
“No, Brentley, you didn’t hurt me. You’re healing me.” And he is. With each moment that passes between us, I feel a piece of my soul mend.
It’s odd. I’ve spent the last few years wanting to die. Afraid to do anything that might feel even slightly good because I thought I didn’t deserve it. And at the time, I certainly didn’t want to feel good. But Brentley is helping me see that if I let the good in, it only enhances my memories of them.
I’m still sad. But I’m learning that I can hold on to them by breathing…by remembering. Brentley is helping me find a new way of living while keeping the past safely tucked away. Not in hiding, not like that. But in a safe, cherished place in my heart. He allows me talk about them. He’s not afraid to bring my memories to the surface for fear of upsetting me. He lets me feel the pain while keeping me grounded, ensuring that my head remains above water while I grieve. Then he shows me that I am capable of feeling more than pain. He reminds me what it’s like to enjoy life. He makes me want to live.
His stare is intense, he isn’t satisfied. I smile up at him. “I’m good, you didn’t hurt me.”
The evil grin re-appears. “Well, it certainly sounded like I was.”
I huff, slightly embarrassed. I suppose I was a little loud. He kisses my nose before rolling off of me. “Next time I’ll be quieter, so you don’t think you’re hurting me.” I roll my eyes.
He chuckles and tucks me against his chest, draping his leg over mine. “Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love how vocal you are. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t actually hurting you. But you are fooling yourself if you think you can be quiet with me. I’ll only get better, Mia.”
I shiver against him. Damn, I don’t know if I can take much more than he gave. My limbs feel boneless the way it is.
“Is it too late to get supper? I’m a little famished after all that,” he says, interrupting my naughty thoughts about next time. Next time, God I like the sound of that.
Laughing, I push him onto his back and straddle him. “Did I not mention supper before we came up here?”
“You did, but nothing mattered in that moment except me making you mine.”
Oh, yes, I forgot what led to this. Darrin showing up here today. Is it terrible of me to like how possessive Brentley is of me? “Come on,” I say, pulling him off the bed with me. “I better feed you before you get all hangry on me.”
He stays on the edge of the bed, watching me pull a t-shirt over my head. “I’m selling my place in the city,” he says quietly.
What? The candle flickers as we stare at each other. I don’t know what to say. He caught me off guard. “Are you sure? I mean that’s a big step.”
He nods. “It is. I’m not trying to be presumptuous about us. But I…well…I kinda bought a place down the road.”
My eyes widen. “You, you kinda bought a place. How do you kinda buy a place?”
“Now he has no reason to stay,” he says. The murderous glint that passes over his face looks scary in the glow of the candle.
“Brentley,” I whisper.
He holds up his hand to stop me. “I wanted to buy it. I want him gone, Mia.”
“Brentley,” I say again. “I can’t let you sell your home in the city just to buy Darrin’s farm so that he leaves. That’s just too much for me to ask of you.”
“I don’t need to sell the place in the city. Money is not the issue. I want to sell it. You’ve made me want more than what I had there. I’m serious about us, Mia. I want to show you how serious I am.”
I plop down beside him on the bed. My legs aren’t wanting to keep me upright right now. This is big. This is him making a commitment. “Wow, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’re not mad at me.” For the first time I see insecurity.
“I’m not mad. How can I be mad when everything you do is always with me in mind?” I lean in and place my forehead to his. “I want you to stay here though, in this house. With me.”
He presses his lips to mine and smiles. When he pulls back, his grin widens. “I’m glad because I really didn’t want to have to work up a custody arrangement for Bandit already.”
