ABBY, page 5
Setting all the bills aside, I run my hand back and forth over my necklace. A pang of guilt hits me hard for even considering this. But the truth is, Latch and I don’t work and his money is not endless. There will come a day that we have to make a choice, and I’ll be damned if these bills put us in a position that causes him to ever consider going back to his line of work even for a second. I don’t know if we’d survive something like that.
Heading back inside, Latch is still asleep. The sight is settling. And in this chaos, he is my only constant. So I know what I have to do to keep it that way. Pushing myself into an emotionless state as I grab my phone off the charger, I take it back outside to call George. Even though I shouldn’t do this behind Latch’s back, something is telling me I need to take control of our life and the situation, as we both know far too well that we don’t know what the future will hold.
Dialing George’s phone number, I close the sliding door and nervously tap my foot on the ground as I take a seat. Then I realize how early it is and know he won’t answer. As his voicemail recording directs me to leave a message, I second guess everything and hang up. What in the hell am I thinking?
Staring at the blank screen, he calls me back and I jump, startled.
What the fuck?
“Hello,” I answer nervously.
“Abby, I’m sorry I missed you.”
“Uhh, that’s okay. I…I didn’t realize how early it was.”
“Oh, that’s quite all right. I’m an early riser. So are you home and feeling better?”
“I am, thanks. Do you still want to meet?” I feel sick to my stomach asking him.
“Of course, that would be great. And to prepare you beforehand so everything isn’t so overwhelming, how about I highlight everything that pertains to you and send you over the estate documents? Then this way, you can read through it all and have an idea of things before we meet face to face and come with all your questions?”
I like the idea a lot. Because quite frankly, I don’t want to meet with him at all if I can avoid it. “Okay.” I give him my email and then we hang up. Looking out at the clouds rolling by, I’m not really sure what to do now, or why I didn’t just flat out ask him what the documents say. Maybe internally, it’s my own way of protecting myself because deep down, I really don’t want to know. Plus, Latch doesn’t want anything to do with all of this either.
Walking back inside, the pile of bills echoes in my head. They are never going to disappear unless I do something…and if I don’t, they could tear Latch and I apart like every other negative thing in the universe always seems to try to.
“I knew I smelled your cooking,” Latch says hugging me from behind.
I flip his favorite pancakes and savor the delicate touch of his sweet lips on my cheek, keeping the tears at bay as I immerse myself in the simple pleasure of being home. “How’d you sleep?” I ask him.
“Like a fuckin’ rock. It’s so good to be home. What about you?”
“Okay.”
“You feeling all right?” he asks pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“Yeah, I was up early, stressing about things.”
“What things?” he asks ignorantly, and I literally stare at him for a moment before speaking. “Uh, I don’t know. The canny letter from the whore you used to sleep with. The stress of dealing with Darrell’s estate and the colossal amounts of hospital bills I found piled up on the kitchen table today. It’s pretty much enough to put me back in the hospital, but this time in the psych ward.”
Latch turns me towards him and forces my eyes to his. “Would you stop stressing about everything that you can’t control? This is all minor shit compared to the mountain that we’ve climbed over already. I’ll handle the bills, and that chick and Darrell’s estate we’re going to ignore.”
I swallow, feeling guilty for calling George behind his back. “Oh, so just like that, it’s all handled?” I grab the syrup from the cabinet and he says, “Yes!”
“How on earth are you going to pay all the bills? Do you even know how much they total?”
“It doesn’t matter. I have money.”
“Latch, I’m aware how much money you have and it’s not enough. Don’t you see why I’m so stressed about everything? It’s not all as easy as you make it out to be.”
He rakes his fingers through his hair and I hand him a plate of pancakes. He sets it down and reassuringly kisses me, pouring so much love and adoration into it, as he about takes me off my feet and spins me around in the kitchen. Typically, I’d give right in to him, but knowing Latch so well, this is just a distraction tactic; he’s worried too and doesn’t know how to answer me.
Stopping him, even though it hurts like hell, he blinks, stunned. I hand him his plate and say, “It’s not going to be that easy. This is serious shit we have to talk about. We’re gonna eat and figure it all out.”
I know it is naïve of me to think I can avoid Darrell’s estate and Jessy forever, but if it keeps Abby from being stressed then I’ll push the idea. I’ll figure out another way to make money and take care of us. I can handle it all and take care of her. Watching her eat her breakfast, I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to piss her off, so I just eat, enjoying such a small thing that we are able to do together in our home. Internally, I hope being home and out of the hospital will help her heart heal, and move past the pain that is still fresh from losing our son. My distraction of sex failed miserably, but it’s all I know how to cope sometimes and I felt out of options…out of control.
She knows me so fucking well.
As she eats, Abby keeps fidgeting with her necklace, and I can tell she’s uneasy about things. So I ask, like she wants, “What do you want to talk about first?”
She won’t make eye contact with me, and I wish I could tell her the road ahead of us is going to be nothing but smooth sailing, but deep down, something’s telling me that’s not the case.
“I called Darrell’s estate attorney today.”
“What? Why would you do that, baby?”
“I told him I would when I was home.”
“Don’t give me that BS, Abby. I thought we were avoiding him and Jessy.”
“No, you want to avoid them. I think we need to handle things, and that means you need to call her and find out what she wants.”
“Why?” I’m caught off guard. First I thought we were going to talk about bills, now she wants me to call this girl.
“Because we need to know what we’re dealing with here.”
“Okay. What are we dealing with regarding Darrell’s estate?”
“I don’t know. He said he’s going to email me the documents. I might not even open them.”
I shake my head, agitated that she went behind my back and did this.
“If you’re not even going to open the email, why do I have to call her?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do.”
“Fuck that. I don’t care about right or wrong. I only care about you.”
“Well, I want you to call her. I need to know what she has to say. If she came to our house, and has been trying to contact you for weeks, then it has to be damn important. Aren’t you the least bit curious?”
“No, not at all. I couldn’t care less about what she has to tell me.”
“You don’t have to agree with me on this, but I’d like you to call her…that’s all I’m asking for.”
I finish my food and can tell there is no talking her out of this right now, or ever for that fact. “If I call her, do you promise not to open the email without discussing it with me first?”
“Sure.”
“Well, I need to get another cell phone and see if they can transfer my contacts ’cause I don’t have her number.”
“Where is your phone?” Abby asks me, not knowing the truth, that I left my phone in the cab after I thought she was dead. As that ugly monster pokes his way back into our lives, I shut him out. There’s no point in telling her; it’ll hurt more than help.
“I lost it after the accident.”
“Okay,” she responds without probing further, and I’m grateful that she doesn’t ask anything else. Telling her right now isn’t going to benefit either of us, that I’m sure of.
“We can go after we eat.”
“Thank you, Latch, it means a lot to me.”
“Baby, I’ll always do anything you need me to. I just don’t want to make the wrong decisions and cause you any unwanted stress, that’s all.”
Leaning over, I take her hand in mine. She gives me that look, the one I’ve been searching for, for so long now and I blink a few times, totally taken aback. After all her shit today, all it took was me agreeing to what she wanted. Taking my last bite of food, I lead her away from the table. She follows close to me and a feeling I haven’t felt in so fuckin’ long invades my system. Finally!
Laying her gently on the plush fabric of our bed, her hair fans out around her and she bites her bottom lip.
Nudging her chin up with my nose, I nip and suck on her sweet skin, my cock so hard as it grinds against her. My hands grip the sheets, so eager that I just want to tear into her. She whimpers from the friction and looks at me through hooded lids. But before I push things too far, too soon, I ask her, “Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?”
“Yes,” she answers breathlessly and pulls her panties down. I help her guide them down the length of her sweet legs and race to remove my shorts, gripping my cock in my hand as I hover over her sweet cunt. She sits up and pulls her shirt over her head, and as I admire her body, the tiny scar from the C-section rakes pain through me. It’s healed so well, now just a faint line, compared to what it was, and I shake away the nasty images as it’s making my dick soft, asking her again, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Latch, please…I need you.”
With focused intensity, I stiffen up and slip inside of her. The walls of her pussy conform around me, embracing me, the way only Abby can, and I lose my breath. The sensation her pussy gives me is un-fucking-believable.
“Fuck,” I grunt as I begin to stroke in and out of her. She moans softly, her fingernails digging into my back, and I drop my head, getting lost in the moment, the way I have so many times before. And it doesn’t matter, all of the shit we’ve been through, or what we have to face, because she reassures me that we’ll make it. Just by being. Wrapping up every last worry and fear I have, I let them all go, focusing only on pleasing Abby.
Her eyes are screwed shut as she moans my name and urges me on. “Yes, Latch.” She whines and what would normally turn into rough, carnal sex, I can no longer push myself there. Not this soon after the accident. I worry I’ll hurt her, so I keep steady, deep, long trusts, traveling to a far away place with just her.
“Mmhh, mmhh,” she bellows, and I pull our bodies closer together. My insides are on fire, the control I once had has vanished. My orgasm is right at the tips of my fingers and quickly I lose the battle, coming out of the blue.
Abby grips my biceps as I let go, then shudders, just a tick behind me, letting go herself. My movements slow and I rest my nose against hers, breathing harshly. I never thought I’d ever get to do this again with her, but here we are. I’m not sure how I got so damn lucky. If I’ve learned one thing through all of this, it’s to never take one second in life for granted. If she wants me to call Jessy, then so be it. I’ll handle it and put it behind us, like we have so many other things. Because I just want to make Abby happy.
“So she didn’t say what it was about?” Abby asks me.
“No, I asked, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. She just said that what she needed to tell me she had to do in person.”
“What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know, maybe she wants money?”
“For what?”
“Maybe she thinks she can blackmail me, or just needs to borrow some.”
“Did you tell her I was going to be here?” Abby asks me.
“No, she doesn’t get a fuckin’ say in that. If she wants to meet, then she’s meeting with you, too.” Abby smiles and I kiss her cheek, keeping her body close to mine as we wait for Jessy inside the small coffee shop.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?”
She shakes her head. “No, my stomach is a mess.”
I kiss her lips, trying to calm her and as I look at the front door, there she is, dressed like she’s going out on the town. Wearing a tight red dress, her hair and makeup are all done up, and Abby tenses next to me. “Is that her?” I nod and Jessy looks around the room, trying to find me, clearly not looking for me sitting with someone else.
Then just as she notices us, the swag she had walking in shifts when she sees my arm around Abby. Her face contorts as she walks over to us, and I keep my expression stone cold. “Hi Latch,” she says timidly.
“Jessy, this is my girlfriend, Abby. Abby, Jessy.” The girls glare at one another and I figure I might as well get right to the point. “Jessy, why did you want to meet?”
She pulls out a chair and takes a seat across from us. Getting lost in her own world for a minute, looking at me before proceeding, like she’s going back in time, and I don’t like it. “Sorry, I, uhh…I didn’t know you were bringing your girlfriend.”
“Is that a problem?” Abby asks.
“No, it’s… it’s just, this is a little awkward.”
“Just spit it out, would ya?”
“Latch,” she bites her bottom lip stalling, and I could wring her neck for acting like this. Thank God she’s a woman, because I would never lay a hand on her. “I’m pregnant, and the baby is yours.”
What?
“No way, it’s not possible, Jessy!” I feel Abby’s hand slip from my thigh and I grab it harder than ever.
“I’m sorry, Latch, but it is. I haven’t been with anyone but you for the last two years.”
“How far along are you?” Abby bravely chokes out, and she says, “Not long at all.”
“Have you even been to the doctor?” I balk.
She shakes her head. “I didn’t want to go until I talked to you. I wanted to offer for you to come.”
Abby is antsy next to me, I can sense it, then she nudges me and says, “Will you let me up?”
“What’s wrong?” I ask Abby.
“I can’t do this, Latch.”
“Then let’s go.” I look at her dead serious and stand holding my hand out to her. She’s not leaving me. If she’s gone, then I’m gone.
“Did you need to say anything else?” I ask Jessy and look at her, pissed. She stares offended and then says, “Are you really going to just abandon your baby like that?” Abby and I walk away and she yells, “You wouldn’t walk out on her baby!”
Abby’s grip on my hand is loose and telling me that she wants nothing to do with me right now. But I have to somehow make this better. Pushing the unsettling news aside, I focus on Abby and making things right.
“What the fuck, Latch? You told me you’ve always used protection! With everyone!” I scream, not only pissed at him, but so completely fucking heartbroken. Everything that I thought we were, or had, or could count on, has been put into question, making me second guess it all.
“I did…always. I promise, baby.”
“Apparently not. How else could she end up pregnant?”
“How the fuck do I know?”
“Did a condom break?”
“No, baby, never. Please calm down.”
I turn towards him, clenching my jaw. An anger I’ve never felt rages, and I snap, “No! I won’t fuckin’ calm down! Don’t you get it? I lost our baby and now some tramp who looks like a goddamn teenager is carrying your child. Don’t you see how fucked up that is?” I sit on the loveseat, disgusted, and he comes between my legs, his hands trembling as he reaches for my face.
I swallow back the tears as he touches me, and as much as I just want to lean into him…I can’t. “Everything is so fucked up now.”
“No, it’s not,” he tells me.
“How can you say that? What are we even gonna do?” I whisper.
“We’ll figure it out, like always.”
I look into his eyes. The words I’ve always trusted and counted on feel like such a lie. Then the words spill from my mouth, scaring me as I fathom the repercussions of their truth. “I don’t know if I can figure this one out.”
“No!” He shakes his head and my heart hurts, twisting inside of me like a knife, cutting me in half watching him hurting, but I won’t lie to him and act like I’m okay with everything…because I’m not. “Please don’t say things like that, things you can’t take back.”
He flips my words back on me that I used so long ago on him and I finally come clean. Not wanting to admit to the truth, but I have to. “Latch, I never told you this, but…I wasn’t supposed to be able to have children. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Our baby, the one we lost, he was a miracle and our only chance at creating life.”
My words shock him as his sexy chin tucks into his neck and he shakes his head. “No, that’s not true.”
“It is. I’m sorry I never told you. I was so excited when we were pregnant. I can’t sit back now and watch you go through the only thing I’ve ever wanted and dreamed about, with another woman.”
“Then I won’t be a part of it, baby!”
I cup his face, his wet cheek hurts my core, and I tell him, “You have to. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. You need to be there for her.”
“No!” he pleads, and I get up, leaving him sobbing on the floor in the spot he kneeled between my legs. My gut tells me to go even though my mind is screaming at me to stay. Right now I need space, some perspective. My insides are shredded to pieces as I reach for the door handle. His head spins towards me, his eyes wild, and he shoots off the floor slamming his hand on the door, stopping me from leaving.
