Milo Speck, Accidental Agent, page 15
Milo checked.
“They’re perfect,” he said.
30
The Beginning
The party room at Guinevere’s Pizza and Subs was often rented out for children’s birthdays and was usually filled with games and balloons and colorful banners celebrating the guest of honor. When Milo arrived, his old clothes tucked under his arm, he half anticipated seeing a candlelit cake on the round center table. There was no cake, but even if there had been, Milo would not have been able to see it, for the room was so crowded with Tuckerman Agents that all he could see were dozens of besuited backs. He could, however, hear Tuck.
“There’s no way the ogres can develop a new whazzit now that Lyndon’s …”
“Gone,” Milo heard Dad finish.
“Right. Now that Lyndon is gone,” said Tuck. “All the same, we need to make sure every dryer in Ogregon is destroyed and that they can’t make any more.”
An older agent standing in front of a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey poster scowled. “Felix Tuckerman—your father, Agent Tuck—would launch an attack. He’d fight!”
“And my great-grandfather, Amos Tuckerman, would not,” replied Tuck. “We’re going to negotiate. Ogregon will agree to use clotheslines, and we will agree to send in our best agricultural agents to give them another shot at raising beef and pork.”
Milo heard one or two agents grumble, but most supported Tuck’s plan.
“Tuck’s exactly right,” said another agent. She was wearing a sparkly purple birthday hat, but spoke with great seriousness. “That is exactly what Amos would have done.”
“Amos also would have known that returning heroes need to eat.” Guinevere had stepped into the party room behind Milo, followed by several jester-waiters bearing the most delicious-looking pizza he had ever seen. “And we don’t want these children’s parents to get here and find them half-starved either, do we? Go on, get back to work. Scat!”
Reluctantly, the agents scatted. Now Milo could see the table and the five people seated around it: Jane, Ernesto, Little Dude. Tuck. Dad. They could see him too.
“Looking sharp, Junior Speck,” said Tuck.
Guinevere patted Milo’s shoulder. “You eat,” she said, reaching for the old clothes he still had tucked under his arm. “And I’ll take these.”
Milo handed over the pants, but held on to the sweatshirt. “Actually, I was thinking that Little Dude might want this.” He unpinned the Excellence medal and dropped it into his jacket pocket. “I mean, it’s kind of smelly right now, but …” He held the sweatshirt out to the small boy, who hugged it tight to his chest.
“Patito,” said Little Dude.
Quank, sighed the ducky happily. Quank, Quank, Quank.
Few things will increase one’s appetite for supper as much a day spent avoiding being someone else’s, and so it was that little was spoken in the party room of Guinevere’s Pizza and Subs until well after the light outside had dimmed. Finally, when everyone’s bellies were full and Guinevere’s offer of just one more slice had been waved away, she sat at the table with them.
“If you were here tomorrow,” she said, “I would have made you a proper Thanksgiving dinner instead.”
It was Thanksgiving tomorrow! Milo had forgotten! And yet here he was, a Tuckerman Agent, sitting between Tuck and Dad, feeling more truly, deeply thankful than he had in a long time.
“This was better than Thanksgiving dinner,” he told Guinevere. “Besides, I don’t think I’ll ever want to eat turkey again.”
“Thank you, Guinevere,” said Tuck. “Thank all of you—Milo, Mr. Speck, Jane—for all you did today.”
“It sounds like it was quite a day. You must be very tired,” said Guinevere. “The children’s parents will be here soon, and most of the agents have gone home for the night. Ms. Tuck, I don’t know if you’ve already made plans, but you’re welcome to stay with me for a while.”
“Actually,” said Tuck, “Agent Speck and his dad have made a similar offer.” She looked at Milo. “I’m inclined to take them up on it, but before I do, I need to understand just how it was that Junior Speck here got to Ogregon in the first place.”
“I’m still not entirely sure myself,” said Milo.
“Start at the beginning,” said Dad. “Maybe we can all figure it out together.”
The beginning, thought Milo. Okay. But what was the beginning?
Was it when he was born to two Tuckerman Agents? When he was a little kid and Dad read him stories every night? When Mom went away? When Grandmother came and he felt so alone? Or was the beginning just today, this morning, when he was all by himself, dreaming of heroic adventures and exotic locales?
Milo’s throat was scratchy from yelling dance moves over the roar of the dryer. When he spoke, his voice was deeper and quieter than he expected it would be, but no one asked him to speak up.
Instead, the room grew hushed. It was as if the very walls were leaning in to listen.
“It all started,” said Milo, “with a sock.”
A Note from the Author
If you enjoyed Milo Speck, Accidental Agent even the least little bit, you are certain to like the work of two writers who inspired it: Roald Dahl and Edward Eager. Of Mr. Dahl’s many books for young readers, my favorite is either The BFG or Danny, Champion of the World, both of which are a perfect balance of humor and heart. If you haven’t yet read anything by Mr. Eager, you must rectify the situation, pronto. Start with Half Magic. It is funny and smart and filled with adventure. After Half Magic, you can find your way around the rest of the magic books in whatever order you please, but don’t miss Knight’s Castle, whatever you do.
As long as there’s some space left on this page, I’d like to thank some other inspirational people. Jeannette Larson— sharp of wit and editorial acumen, but never of tongue—must be thanked for her hard work and gentle guidance through the many (many) drafts of this book. A special Excellence medal goes to designer Lisa Vega for her utmost fidelity to this project. Thank you to Mariano Epelbaum for the witty, wonderful art. Thanks are also due Jack Thompson, Kate Messner, Leda Schubert, and Ellen Miles for reading Milo Speck countless times and offering valuable counsel. Other folks listened patiently as I talked through plot, character arc, writing challenges, and song lyrics. These dear friends include Claire Thompson, Loree Griffin Burns, Marla Frazee, Myra Wolfe, Kelly Ramsdell Fineman, Kristy Dempsey, Sara Lewis Holmes, Anne Marie Pace, Katy Duffield, Kathy Erskine, Alma Fullerton, Cassandra Whetstone, Tanya Seale, and countless innocent people who found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Finally, I offer my deepest gratitude to Julio Thompson, for unwavering faith, encouragement, and willingness to laugh at my jokes.
About the Author
LINDA URBAN’s A Crooked Kind of Perfect, called “an impressive and poignant debut” by School Library Journal, was selected for many best books lists and was nominated for twenty state awards. Her acclaimed novels Hound Dog True and The Center of Everything received multiple starred reviews. A former bookseller, Linda Urban lives in Vermont.
Visit Linda Urban’s website
Linda Urban, Milo Speck, Accidental Agent
