The Revenge Plan, page 18
I pulled back, shocked by the incredibly direct question. “A secret agenda?” I repeated dumbly before shaking my head back and forth. “No.”
But I must’ve looked guilty because she did that whole dissecting-squint thing she did that seemed to see deeper inside me. “So, you don’t want anything in return for all the amazing things you’ve done?”
I sniffed. But unable to lie, I blundered out, “I mean, I’m sure I want things. I’m a guy; I can’t stop my brain from going there. But I don’t want anything in return for what I’ve done. That’s not at all why I did any of it—I don’t expect anything from you, or need any form of payback, except, you know, rent every month and maybe your fair share of cleaning, cooking, and grocery shopping.”
She stared at me so long after I answered that I started to squirm inside, wondering what she was thinking, how she was judging me. But then she nodded slowly and said, “That’s an awesome, believable answer. Thank you.”
I blew out a relieved breath too soon because, in the next second, she asked, “So, then why do you help me out so much?”
“I…” My breath stalled in my lungs. I honestly didn’t know how to respond. So I finally just blurted, “I don’t know. I can’t seem to help it.”
“So, you’re just a helpful kind of guy.”
I cringed. “Not really.”
When that made her frown, my brain scrambled to come up with something—anything—to explain what I went through every time I did something for her. “I don’t know how to describe it. I just… Ever since that moment in Izzy’s room when you turned to me, and you needed someone there to help you, I don’t know. I…I… It did something to me. It was like you handed me this huge, monumental responsibility to look out for you, and I… I dropped the ball.”
“My God, Wick. I’m so sorry. I never meant to make myself such a burden and responsibility to you.”
“You didn’t. I just…took it on as such, anyway.”
“And besides,” she went on. “You did not drop any ball. Are you crazy? You’re the one thing that’s gotten me through since then.”
I was?
“But I felt like I messed up,” I insisted. “You didn’t see how wrecked you were. You fell apart in my arms, and after a while, nothing Izzy or I said to you processed. I couldn’t…” Shaking my head, I blew out a breath. “I just couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t help you. And I think I’ve been trying to make up for that ever since.”
“Jesus, Wick. Is that honestly what you think? That you failed me?”
“Well.” I shrugged. “Yeah. Because I did.”
“No,” she growled. “You most certainly did not. It wouldn’t have mattered what you or anyone else did that night; I was going to fall apart. No matter what. Nothing could’ve stopped it. It was what you and your sister did afterward to help me so I could get back up again that I needed. You did absolutely everything right.” Leaning forward in her seat, she reached for my hand and squeezed. “Don’t ever think you failed me.”
But I did, I wanted to argue. In so many ways it was pathetic.
Her thumb brushed across my bruised knuckles, and a shiver consumed me. Need throbbed through my veins with a heavy yearning that made my mouth water and skin tingle.
I pulled free of her grip to stop it.
“I’m going to get started on the dishes,” I said, pushing to my feet and picking up my cleared plate.
“Oh no, you’re not,” Haven argued, popping up alongside me. “You cooked. I will clean.”
I shook my head, needing to keep busy so I could ignore the antsy pulse of desire that was spiking through me. “It’s fine. Really. I can—”
“Wickham Webster,” she charged sternly and pointed toward the exit. “You get out of here right now. I have kitchen duty this morning.”
Blowing out a breath, I sniffed and gave in. “Okay, fine.” Lifting my hands, I backed away. “You win.”
She nodded gratefully. “Thank you. Just please don’t get too mad if I put something away in the wrong spot.”
“I can show you—” I started, until she pointed at me and frowned, which shut me up mid-word.
Then, with a wink, she smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll figure it out.”
19
Wick
I retreated to the living room, where I paced for about five minutes, listening to her in the kitchen, running the water and clanging pots around, and not because I was obsessively, compulsively worried she would put the pans away in the wrong cabinet.
I felt exposed now. She had exposed me. But what the hell had I been thinking to admit to her how responsible I felt for her? That sounded creepy even to my ears.
I didn’t want to be creepy. I just… I wanted her to stop questioning my motives and stripping me emotionally bare. I’d worked damn hard these past few years to close myself off and not let any of my thoughts or stupid feelings show. Why did she need to crack me open? And why the hell was I letting her? I didn’t want to be open, anymore. I wanted—
Fuck.
I didn’t even want to admit what I really wanted.
When a knock fell on my apartment door, I stopped flipping out and running my hand through my hair to scowl at it.
This time, I wasn’t even expecting it to be for me. I strode over and pulled the door open to find four women I’d never met before—one of them very pregnant—along with a boy who was maybe five or six years old, standing on my doorstep.
They were chatting freely with each other until they saw me and then they all fell mute.
And stared.
A moment passed before the pregnant blonde gave a low whistle. “Damn. Cress was right. He’s almost too gorgeous for his own good.”
The other three nodded dumbly.
The gorgeous comment caught me off guard, especially coming from four women who were all supremely attractive themselves. But then the name Cress filtered through my memory banks, and I sighed. “You guys are here to see Haven, right? More cousins?” I guessed.
“Oh, he’s a smart one,” the blonde murmured. “I’m liking him already.” Stepping inside, she patted my cheek seductively. “Teagan Hamilton,” she greeted. “You must be Wick.”
With a nod, I agreed, “I must be.”
“Aww, he’s kind of snarky, too,” she cooed back to the others. “Just like JB. It’s confirmed; I like him.”
“Yeah, yeah, quit hogging him already,” another girl with hair as dark at Haven’s and eyes just as blue-gray as hers muttered as she nudged Teagan aside so she could stop in front of me and grin with a brightness that reminded me of Izzy’s energy.
“Hi. I’m Bella.” She grabbed my hand and pumped it heartily. “Aunt Sarah said you wouldn’t even tell her where Haven was until she passed some kind of test with you first.”
“Uh.” I cringed, my face heating with embarrassment. “Well, I just wanted to make sure they—”
Not giving me a chance to come up with the right word to use next, another girl nudged Bella aside. “Dude, that is badass. Aunt Sarah scares the shit out of me when she goes into interrogation mode.”
“Did you really tell Haven you didn’t want her living here because of her boobs?” the redhead with the boy asked.
I glanced at all four of them and gulped. “I just…um…”
Shit. This was mortifying. I hadn’t expected that stupid comment to turn into hot family gossip.
“Don’t worry,” the second brunette who hadn’t introduced herself to me yet assured as she stepped inside behind Bella. “We’re not here to threaten you like our stupid brothers did yesterday. Gah.” She rolled her eyes. “Those bumpkins couldn’t even find Topher Nicholl and kick his ass, which was their sole reason for coming into town in the first place. Or so they said. Honestly, I think they were secretly worried about HayHay and just wanted to check in on her.”
“You mean, your stupid brother,” Bella shot back with a degrading glance. “Mine wasn’t even here yesterday.” She turned to me. “I’m sure Gray would’ve been able to find Topher and suitably pummel him if he’d been with yesterday’s crew.”
“That’s just because your stupid brother had to work, so we got stuck with him today. I seriously doubt he’ll look Topher up either.”
I frowned, confused, before glancing down at the kid, who was the only male present. “They’re not talking about you, are they?”
The boy blinked up at me with big blue eyes and then shook his head no. “I didn’t work yesterday,” he finally answered. “I don’t even have a job.”
The women laughed.
A moment later, Haven appeared in the entrance to the hall. “I thought I recognized that laughter,” she announced, wiping her hands on a dish towel as she shook her head at her guests.
“HayHay,” they screeched in return, descending on her with hugs and kisses. “Our baby cousin. I can’t believe that worthless bastard cheated on you.”
Haven pulled back with a tense sigh, and I could tell she totally didn’t want to talk about it. To distract them from the topic, she rolled her eyes. “I’m not the baby cousin. Cress is two years younger than me.”
“Well, you’re younger than all of us,” the brunette shot back.
Still standing at the open doorway, I began to shut it, trying to think up a way to excuse myself from the room without anyone noticing my exit when a voice from outside called, “Hey, wait up. I’m coming in too.”
I paused to frown at the guy who jogged forward and hopped up the steps of my front porch, even as he flashed me a bright smile. “Hi, sorry,” he greeted. “I’m with them. But holy shit, parking on this street is a pain in the ass. I had to find a spot two blocks away after dropping everyone off.” He motioned toward the women before turning back to me and holding out a hand. “I’m Gracen, by the way.”
“Ah,” I answered. “You must be the stupid brother who had to work yesterday.”
His mouth dropped open. “Bella!” he boomed. “You called me stupid?”
“I did not,” she shot back. “Lucy did.”
He sliced the other brunette a dry look. “Really, Luce? And your brother is Beau? I don’t think you have much room to talk.”
“Excuse me,” the redhead sang as she tugged the kid against her leg. “No insulting my husband, please, especially in front of his son.”
The son turned to look up at me. “Can I see your room?”
I frowned. “My room?” When he bobbed his head up and down very seriously, I glanced at his mother and aunts who paused to hear my answer. “Uh…I guess,” I said. “If it’s okay with your mom.”
The redhead fluttered out her fingers. “Be my guest.”
The boy further surprised me by taking my hand and then waiting expectantly for me to lead the way. I glanced at the others, almost hopeful someone would intercede, but no one did, so I led the kid back to my room. Staying in the doorway—mostly in the hall—I watched as he stepped inside and wandered around, mostly just studying everything.
He paused at my shelf of football trophies. “Wow. You got a lot of awards.”
I shifted my weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “A few,” I answered.
He turned away, dismissing them and wandered to my bed, which was still unmade from when Haven must’ve crawled out of it this morning. After staring at it a full five seconds, he turned to me and announced, “Okay.”
“Okay?” I repeated, not sure what he was approving.
He nodded. “Okay.”
So I agreed. “Okay.”
Stepping out of the way so he could exit the room, I asked, “What’s your name?”
“Braiden,” he answered, tipping his head way back to look up at me. “I’m five. How old are you?”
“Twenty-one.”
His eyes grew wide. “Wow. You’re as old as Haven. She’s my favorite first cousin once removed, you know.”
As he started down the hall, I walked with him. “Is she?”
“Yep. She babysat me in the summer last year when she was home from college, and we played the coolest games. Like toadstool. Do you play toadstool?”
“Can’t say that I do.” Frowning, I wondered what the game even entailed.
“Oh,” he said. “Well, it’s cool.” We’d just reached the kitchen as he announced, “I’m hungry. Do you have anything to eat?”
“Um…sure.” I glanced at his mother, silently asking for her permission. “Do you want some…?” After wracking my brain for kid food I might have on hand, I said, “Cocoa Pebbles?”
“Yeah!” Braiden cheered, only for Haven to wince.
“Ooh, sorry,” she said. “Your uncle Fox ate the last of those yesterday.”
When Braiden’s shoulder slumped, I offered, “Mac and cheese?”
“And… I ate the last of that last night,” Haven admitted before covering her eyes with her hands in regret. “Sorry.”
“Apples?” I asked the kid.
He brightened. “With peanut butter?”
I cringed. “Uh, no. I don’t have any peanut butter.”
“Really?” Bella asked dryly. “Apples are the most kid-friendly food you have in your apartment? And you live with Haven?”
As everyone snickered, letting me know my new roommate possessed a healthy sweet tooth, Haven scowled. “Hey. I just haven’t had time to go shopping for myself yet.” Grabbing an apple from the basket on the counter, she found a knife in the drawer and began to cut it up for Braiden.
“Honey?” the redhead asked her son. “Why did you want to see Wick’s room?”
“Because Dad said if someone was really your enemy, you need to find out where they sleep.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise, and everyone pulled back with similar shock.
Gracen was the first to speak. “Why the heck do you want Wick for an enemy, though?” he asked as he stole an apple slice that Haven had just cut.
Braiden blinked big blue eyes as he glanced around the room. “Because he hurt Haven,” he finally answered logically. “Didn’t he?”
“Oh, sweetie,” Haven said, going to him to cup his face in her hands and kiss his cheek. “Thank you so much for supporting me, but Wick’s not the one who hurt me. He helped me. Topher’s the one who hurt me. Don’t you remember Topher?”
Braiden squinted as if trying to remember Topher before he said, “The guy with the glossy, poofy hair?”
Haven sniffed out a laugh and then nodded. “Yeah, him.”
“Oh,” the boy said. Then he glanced at me. “Sorry. My bad.”
I lifted a hand, forgiving him. “’S all right.”
“Topher smelled funny,” he told me. “I’m glad you don’t smell funny.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Nicholl liked to lay it on thick with the cologne. I thought the shit he put on smelled funny too. Nodding to the kid, I fully agreed. “Me too.”
He bobbed his head back at me as if grateful we were on the same page and bit into an apple slice Haven handed him. “You got Fortnite here?” he asked.
“I do.” It was one of Cannon’s favorites. “You wanna play?”
“Yes.” He started from the kitchen as if to lead the way, only to call back, “You wanna play too, Mason?”
Gracen hurried after us. “Hell yes, I wanna play. Don’t you two dare leave me alone in that kitchen with all the females. And I’m Gracen, by the way. My dad’s Mason.”
“Oh,” Braiden answered. “Sorry.” Then he sent me an eye roll and whispered, “Like I can keep all their rhyming names straight.”
20
Haven
You know what I never got? I never understood how someone could just keep going after they fucked up so badly that not only they knew what they’d done wrong but the entire freaking universe they lived in knew it, too.
Like now, for instance. I didn’t want to be here, exposing my stupidity to these four amazing women I’d grown up admiring and wishing I could be like. I didn’t want them to see how awful I was at picking guys. Heck, I wanted to call it quits on this whole being alive business altogether. Because I failed at living.
Like hard-core failure.
That’s honestly how it felt at the moment, that nothing I’d ever tried in my entire life had been worth the effort. I had to be the most clueless idiot on the planet for not realizing what Topher had been doing throughout our entire relationship.
I glanced around the kitchen, realizing all my cousins knew exactly how lame I was too.
It made me feel gross, embarrassed, ashamed. Stupid.
Because, seriously, how could I not know? All the clues had been there. He was an outgoing, arrogant kind of guy that got off on being adored. He thought he was better than others. He thought others owed him prestige. And he’d always been super friendly to other girls. Attractive girls. But I’d just shrugged it off, forgiving him for not being perfect, not even realizing he was outright flirting with other women right in front of me. I mean, how had I not realized that? How had I trusted so blindly and never questioned anything?
I’d let him charm and distract me with pretty, false words, pretty, false smiles, and pretty, false attention. I’d been so desperate to find what my parents possessed—a partnership/best friend/lover combination—that I hadn’t really even stopped to look at Topher objectively to see if he even fit the bill. Which he hadn’t. Not at all.
God, what everyone must think of me. I probably looked as pathetic as I was. It was so mortifying.
“You know what you need to do, Haven?” Bentley slurred from my left as she slung an arm around my shoulders and drunkenly bumped into me. “You need a revenge rebound to make that asshole suffer. That’s what you need.”
“Yes,” Teagan hollered, lifting her shot glass full of orange juice and then belting back a swallow. “Preach it, sister. You need to hit him right in the pride, HayHay. Make him bleed jealousy.”
