Vacancy, page 17
“Yeah,” Alec went on, shoving his hands in his pockets as if nervous. “I want to be on a film set someday and make movies.” Lifting his hand, he sang, “Producer. Which is why my college major is film production.”
“Seriously?” I asked with interest. “Hey, do you think you could film a mock-up news report for me sometime to add to a resume portfolio? I’m a journalism major in broadcasting.”
“No way!” Alec cried. “Of course, I could. That’s exactly the kind of shit I live for. And not to brag or anything,” he added, leaning closer to drop his voice. “But I’ve seen the camerawork your guys do over there, and they don’t have anything on me. I could edit a segment for you like you wouldn’t believe.”
I laughed and squeezed his arm gratefully. “That would be perfect. Here. Let me get your number, and we’ll set something up sometime.”
Damien entered the living room just as I made the offer.
He slowed to a stop, eyebrows lifting in question as he watched Alec accept my phone and begin to plug in his digits.
“You’ll never guess what!” I burst out, flying forward to give him an excited hug. “Alec’s going to film a mock-up news report of me. If I could get this in front of my professor, I just know she’d finally let me have my own segment.”
“Dammit, is Younger showing off his video collection again?” a winded Keene demanded as he appeared back down the stairs to join us. “Yapping on about his theory that you can tell how compatible people are by their taste in movies?”
“Hey! That’s a sound theory,” Alec growled as he returned my phone to me. When I lifted my brows questioningly between them, he explained, “I saw a study about someone predicting the likelihood of whether different couples would stay together based on various factors. And sense of humor was a major indicator. If two people think the same things are funny or inappropriate, they have a better chance of sustaining their relationship. So I just think you can apply that to movie preferences as well. Here…”
He frowned at his collection thoughtfully before reaching out and piling three DVDs into his arms. “If I said these were your three options of what to watch tonight, what would you pick?”
“Shit, Alec!” Keene blurted in dismay. “Really?”
When I glanced over, surprised by his tone, I found that his eyes were wide with worry before he cast a hesitant glance toward Damien.
I looked over as well, only to find Damien sending Alec an unamused scowl.
“Oh no,” I groaned. “One of these is your favorite movie, isn’t it? Or least favorite?” I asked Damien after a moment of taking in the fact that he looked very displeased.
I spun back to Alec, low-key panicking. “Now I feel pressured.”
“Ignore Damien,” Alec said, swiping out a hand. “This is about you. Which one appeals the most to you? And which one appeals the least?”
“I don’t…” I looked over the covers, only to wrinkle my nose. He’d picked out The Grudge, the original Ghostbusters, and The Sixth Sense. “So…ghosts are my only options?”
“I’m just trying to prove that the content doesn’t matter. It’s about what dispositions you’re inclined toward.”
“Oh. Okay.” That made sense. With a nod, I took in the movies with more thought. “Well, The Grudge is immediately out. I don’t do scared.”
Keene snorted and bumped his elbow into Damien. “Neither does Archer here. Being scared makes him violent.”
I pulled back, instantly suspicious of the word. “Violent?”
“Yes, ma’am, your boy triggers toward fight when it comes to the fight-or-flight response. So… Word of warning, if you ever want to jump out from a closet and say boo, his instinct will be to throat punch first and ask questions later.”
“Oh, good.” I brightened, actually relieved to hear that. “I’m definitely the type to flee. It’d be nice to know you were hanging back to fight the monster and distract him while I got away because I have a feeling with all that jogging you do, you could outrun me in no time, which would make me the first to get caught if we were running away together.”
Damien gave me a reluctant grin and lifted an eyebrow. “Glad I’m useful for something.”
“So…no horror,” Alec spoke up, determined to make me choose a movie. He slipped The Grudge back onto the shelf. “Which one between these two?”
I bit my lip as I studied them. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “They’re both classics in my opinion. I can appreciate the humor in Ghostbusters. But…The Sixth Sense…” I let out a low whistle. “Just blew my mind. I loved it.”
So I pointed at it, making my decision.
“And we have a winner!” Keene cheered, lifting his arms in triumph.
Immediately spinning toward Damien, I demanded, “Which one would you have chosen?”
He shrugged as if also torn before he started to nod, and then admitted, “Same.”
That made my smile burst free. I mean, I’d already seen how compatible we could be. He’d lit me up in that broadcasting room like I couldn’t remember anyone ever doing so thoroughly before. But it was nice to know we could curl up on a couch and enjoy a movie together too.
Trying to hide how much his opinion mattered, I glanced at Keene and Alec. “What about you two?”
“Ghostbusters,” they answered in unison.
Without glancing at each other, they fist-bumped.
“All the way,” Alec added without a beat.
They were just so freaking adorable.
I glanced at Damien to share my feelings, and he rolled his eyes as if to say, yeah, I know. My roommates are loveable goofballs.
I bumped my arm into his lightly, sharing the moment before I spoke up, asking, “Y’all got anything decent to drink around here? Because I am one thirsty girl.”
18
OAKLYNN
In the kitchen, Damien ordered a pizza on his phone while I popped open a canned Malibu cocktail and wandered my way around the tiled floor as I sipped, inspecting the appliances until I came across a strange-looking, gold figurine on the counter.
“This is...interesting,” I said, picking it up.
At first glance, I would’ve taken it for a kindergartener’s art project. I twisted it this way and that. Maybe it was a person with a beak-shaped head and really thin, bubble arms. But there were no hands and no feet, and the arms were longer than the fat, bubble legs.
But the surface was much too smooth to be hand-crafted. It looked as if it’d come from a 3D printer.
“Seriously?” Damien muttered with a disapproving scowl as he glanced up from his phone to see what was in my hand. Arching an eyebrow at Keene, he demanded, “I thought I told you to keep that damn thing in your room.”
Keene smirked proudly and lifted a finger to protest. “No. You told me to get it out of the living room. But I like it here. It makes for a good conversation piece.”
As Alec groaned, “Oh jeez,” and gripped his forehead, I returned my attention to the object in my hand.
“What is it, anyway? A…back scratcher?”
“It’s a model of a clitoris,” Keene announced proudly as he took it from my hand. “This here is the glans,” he explained as he pointed to the part that I had thought was an odd-shaped head. “The only visible part, it’s the little nub above the opening of your vagina?”
I blinked at him once before uttering, “I’m…aware of the area, yes.”
“Yeah, so...the rest of it is hidden internally in the woman. It wraps around the vagina and wasn’t discovered until the 1990s but no one knew the full shape of it until the 2000s.”
Truly boggled by how he knew all this information, I just kept blinking at him. “I...did not know that.”
Keene nodded, excited about sharing his knowledge. “It’s the only body part in humans that exists solely for pleasure. And it’s got upwards of 9,000 nerve endings.” Pausing to send me an arched-eyebrow glance, he felt the need to add, “The penis only has about two to three thousand.”
“Well...score,” I answered, nodding in appreciation.
“And did you know,” he went on, “that your clitoris gets engorged and swells with blood when you’re aroused, similar to what a penis does?”
“Well, I suspected something was going on down there,” I had to admit.
“And masturbation is actually healthy for you,” he announced.
I would’ve started to accuse him of mansplaining at this point, but he was honestly too eager with childlike enthusiasm to be in any way condescending or patronizing with his explanation. So I simply answered, “You don’t say.”
“Hell, yeah. For one thing, orgasms can increase pain tolerance. I mean, no way are you thinking about that toothache you have when you’re in the middle of coming, am I right?” He nudged his elbow my way until I nodded to agree.
“True.”
“And they increase immunity by releasing feel-good hormones, plus help us go to sleep easier while decreasing stress and bad moods.”
“Wow.” Lifting my eyebrows, I glanced down at the plastic clit in his hand and nodded in approval. Bending closer to it, I returned my attention to Keene. “Well, I’m sold. Where can I get me one of these suckers?”
Keene shook his finger as if I was being naughty. “No, the question is where can I get one.” Then, he jerked his expressive eyebrows up in invitation and sent me a flirty grin. “You wouldn’t want to be a pal and lend me yours for a night, would you?”
My mouth dropped open in surprise as I straightened. “Are you serious?” When I glanced at Damien to make sure he’d just heard this, he was already looking up from his phone with lifted eyebrows.
“Excuse me?” he demanded. “I don’t fucking think so.”
The good news was that he seemed as flummoxed and unimpressed by the question as I was, which meant…whew. At least he hadn’t brought me here, thinking he could just pass me around to all his roommates.
When I turned back to Keene, he’d lifted a hand to block Damien from his peripheral vision. “Hey. I was addressing the lady,” he scolded before he pressed a hand to his chest as if being sincere. Then, to me, he added, “I promise to take the utmost care of it, I swear.”
I shook my head slowly. “I cannot believe you spent all that time researching the clitoris just to segue it into a cheesy pick-up line.”
“Hey!” he cried, offended. “It wasn’t cheesy.”
“It was totally cheesy,” Alec seemed more than eager to inform him.
Keene scowled his way before turning back to me. “And that’s not why I did all the research. The female reproductive system is my specialty.”
I snickered. “Obviously.”
He huffed out an impatient breath. “I mean, occupation-wise. I’m a nursing major and want to work my way up to becoming an OB-GYN someday.”
“Oh.”
“My mom died because of an STD, so women’s health is kind of a big deal to me.”
“Holy shit,” I blurted, suddenly remembering Damien mentioning something like that about one of his friends. He’d been talking about Keene. Touching his arm, I melted with sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”
“Eh.” He made a dismissive sound as if trying not to appear too depressed about losing a parent, but I could see in his eyes, it still bothered him. “It was back when I was nine, so I’m okay now.”
“Still,” I said, pulling him in for a hug. “You poor thing.”
Near us, Alec spoke up, “My dad died when I was eight.”
“What the hell, guys?” I cried. “You’ve both lost a parent?” I let go of Keene so I could pull Alec into a comforting embrace next. “That’s so sad.”
As soon as I stepped back from Alec, both he and Keene lifted their eyebrows toward Damien in silent challenge.
Realizing I’d just had my arms and boobs all over his roommates, I whirled his way as well, already wincing in apology.
But he merely lifted the phone in his hand. “Pizza’s on its way.”
“Thank God.” I exhaled in relief and skipped to him so I could include him in the hugs. “I’m starving.” Taking it a step further, I lifted up on my toes to kiss his jaw. “You’re such a lifesaver.”
He buried his nose in my hair and grabbed a handful of cloth at the back of my shirt as he returned the hug. So I stayed where I was when it ended, remaining tucked up against him with his arm around my waist.
After taking a drink from my liqueur, I motioned around the kitchen with the can. “So, uh…I love the house. For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why you rented out your aunt’s place and didn’t want to live there yourself since it’s so freaking nice. But—”
Alec abruptly started coughing after taking a sip from his own can, and Keene pounded on his back to help him out.
“You okay?” I asked in concern.
He nodded, eyes watering as he got himself back under control. “Yeah, sorry. Went down the wrong pipe.”
“Excuse him,” Keene slugged him one more time for good measure. “Rookie freshman. Still has no idea how to drink properly.”
“As if you’re one to talk,” Alec shot back with a mean mug. “You’re not any less of a freshman than I am.”
“Wait.” I motioned between them with my Malibu. “You’re both freshmen?” My gaze shifted to Damien with lifted eyebrows. “You’re rooming with freshmen?”
He sighed sadly. “I’ve known them since I was eleven, and they begged to move in as soon as they graduated from high school. It would’ve felt like kicking the family pet in the gut to tell them no. But Hudson’s a junior with me, so he helps level things out.”
When someone knocked on the back door, Alec lit up and dove toward it eagerly. “Ooh! Pizza’s here.”
“What? Already?” I shook my head in confusion. “Didn’t you just order it?”
“Yeah, but we’ve got connections,” Keene answered as Alec braced all his weight against the door, blocking it instead of pulling it open.
“What the…?” I started to ask just as someone tried to come inside, only for Alec’s weight to make the door slap back in their face an inch later.
A little freaked out, I ducked behind Damien, seeking safety. When he reached back to take my hand, I relaxed enough to peer around his arm.
Still leaning against the door, Alec started cracking up, letting me know he was playing a prank and not actually concerned about whoever wanted to enter. His body heaved forward every few seconds as the person on the other side kept trying to get in.
Finally, the intruder laughed aloud before he yelled, “Stop blocking the door, ya immature dumbass, or I’m going to eat your damn pizza.”
“Oh, sorry,” Alec answered, opening the door suddenly in fake over-apology before the blond football god I’d seen on the billboard spilled into the kitchen with a curse before he nimbly caught himself and straightened again.
“Didn’t see you there, man,” Alec continued to gush in mockery and even grasped Foster’s arm to help him straighten only to pause and point. “Hey… Ain’t you Foster Union? Oh my God, y’all!” he cried to the rest of us as he kept pointing. “It’s Foster Union, the football star.” Turning back to the guy who was holding two boxes of pizza and rolling his eyes, Alec waved his hands dramatically, fanning himself. “This is so cool; I’m completely freaking out right now! You had such a great game this afternoon. I mean, that play at the end where you fake threw and ran in for a touchdown instead was classic.”
As Foster merely grinned contagiously and started to blush, Keene joined the bit, hollering, “Sweet baby Jesus, it really is Foster Union! Damn, man, with zero interceptions and four touchdown passes, you’re like a god.” Gripping Foster’s arm, he begged, “Can you sign my panties? Please.”
When he actually pulled the waistband of his black jockey shorts up above the belt of his jeans and flashed them at Foster, Haverick’s football god sniffed, wholly unimpressed before he laughed in amusement and said, “Put those away, junior, before you hurt yourself.”
“I know, what a moron, huh?” Alec asked, sidling up alongside Foster and folding his arms over his chest as he shook his head sadly at Keene. “Poor kid thinks he can play with the big boys.”
Foster only sent Alec a sidelong glance that ended in a big smile. “Like you have any room to talk.” Shaking his head at both freshmen in amused exasperation, he asked, “How in the world do you live with these two, Arch?”
“I charge them double the rent,” Damien answered dryly, without missing a beat.
When I laughed at his answer, the pizza guy swerved his attention toward us in surprise, only to do a double-take as I stepped out from behind Damien.
His eyebrows shot up in interest. “Well, hey there,” he said with a questioning kind of smile. “You’re new.” Then his eyes widened, and he pointed at me. “Wait. Are you…? You can’t be…Oaklynn. Are you?”
“Oaklynn?” I shot back, sounding outraged. “My name’s Stacey.” Slapping a hand to my hip, I glanced up at Damien in disgust and demanded, “Who the fuck is Oaklynn?”
He opened his mouth at first, his expression blank as if he had no idea how to reply. Then he sent Foster a dark glance. “Thanks a lot, man.”
“I…” Foster looked cornered. His eyes were wide and panicked as he lifted his hands and backpedaled fast. “Fuck! I’m so sorry. I meant to say Stacey. Oaklynn’s just…”
“Standing right in front of you,” Damien drolled matter-of-factly.
Foster blinked at him. “What?”
Both Alec and Keene cracked up, no longer able to keep straight faces. When I joined in, leaning against Damien as I cackled, he started to chuckle as well, leaving only Foster to glance at us all, still clearly stumped.
“Isn’t she funny?” Alec demanded.
“I am so confused right now,” Foster admitted.
So I had mercy and set a hand against my chest to tell him, “You were right to begin with; I really am Oaklynn.”
“You were messing with me?” he echoed as if not understanding. Then he turned his attention to Damien. “And you took part in it? Except…you don’t mess with people.”
