Somebody's Darling, page 24
Lucy broke down crying again. She took a few moments to compose herself while Jesse helplessly watched.
“I wish I could hold you, Lucy.”
“Me, too. I need you to hold me right now.”
Jesse looked into her eyes and held up his palm. She touched it with her hand. She sighed. It just wasn’t enough. She loved him. She loved him, and she needed to touch him. She felt like she needed to touch him like she needed food and water and air.
The next song came on. It was a slow, almost sensual version of “Dixie” with a woman singing the lyrics instead of just instrumentation.
“Now, you better think of me when you hear this song. Not Joel,” Jesse said, trying to break the somber mood a bit.
Lucy smiled sadly. She held up her arm and he did the same. They danced together to the song.
Jesse stopped dancing as they listened to the last part of the song. The woman sang slowly, somberly as Jesse looked mournfully into Lucy’s eyes.
With one kiss she acted the foolish part…and died for a man that broke her heart. Look away, look away, look away…Dixieland….
32
Theresa had hinted around, asking where Lucy thought Joel might be while she and Jesse were having some alone time.
“Do you want me to just tell Joel you want to see him?” Lucy had asked.
Brazen as usual, Theresa had responded, “Sure, why not?”
“Just what exactly are your intentions with the poor man?” Lucy asked.
“Don’t worry. I’m not planning on trying to break up his marriage from beyond the grave. I just like him is all. And I’m sure he’s lonely now that you’ve made it abundantly clear you prefer the Rebel to him. Poor guy. He’s probably heartbroken.”
“Yeah, right,” Lucy said with a chuckle. Then she sighed. “Well, just be careful. As much as I adore Jesse, I know what it’s like to be in a relationship with a dead guy and I wouldn’t recommend it.”
Lucy arranged for Theresa and Joel to hang out at one of the battlefields.
“So, I hear you were dyin’ to see me,” Joel said as Theresa approached him on the battlefield.
“Oh, absolutely," Theresa said. “I came to throw myself at you. Well, you know, through you.”
Joel grinned.
“Oh, don’t get too cocky, Little Blue Boy. I figured you might be bored now that Lucy’s thrown you off for the sexy cowboy.”
“I see. How kind of you to visit me in my fortress of solitude,” Joel said, enjoying her company already.
“I hear I missed a hell of a singing performance the other day,” she teased. “You know, there was really no question who Lucy was going to pick. Right from the beginning. She fell head over heels for Jesse straight away. No contest. Not even close.”
“Thank you for clarifying that, Theresa.”
“And I would have chosen you straight up. No question there, either.” She looked right into his eyes, having no qualms about his knowing she found him attractive.
“Why?” Joel said, raising an eyebrow.
“Because you’re hot. You’re funny, too, and that’s sexy as hell.”
Joel smiled. He had a faraway look in his eye.
“You’re thinking about your wife again, aren’t you?” Theresa looked a little sad, and Joel wasn’t sure if it was sympathy or jealousy. Perhaps it was both.
“I’m sorry. You’re just so much like her. It’s a compliment, I promise. She was the smartest, sexiest woman I’ve ever known.”
“Tell me about her.”
Joel looked at Theresa skeptically. “You really want to sit here and listen to me drone on about some other woman?”
“She’s not just some other woman. She’s the love of your life. It makes you happy to talk about her, and that makes me happy.” Theresa smiled, exuding warmth and sincerity. It was obvious that she cared about him. Joel looked at her with a mix of gratitude and admiration. He didn’t know what he’d ever done to deserve to have wonderful friends like Lucy and Theresa to lean on, but he would be forever grateful.
Theresa sat down on the grass and looked up at Joel expectantly.
“I’ll never forget the first thing she said to me.” Joel put his hand on his side and jutted his hip out effeminately. He spoke in a high voice, mimicking Emma. “You’re quite a handsome man, Joel Casey.”
Theresa giggled. Joel looked down at her. “Emma was fearless. So much like you. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. God, she turned me on.”
Joel sat down in the grass across from Theresa. “Every time she came into her father’s store, she would just give me this look. I-I can’t even describe it.”
“A come-hither look?” Theresa suggested.
“Yeah. Yeah, exactly! But only when her father’s back was turned. Can’t tell ya how many times I had to stand behind the counter to hide the raging hard-on my boss’s daughter gave me.”
Theresa threw her head back and laughed. Joel knew it would be perfectly acceptable to say such things to her. Lucy would have turned crimson and lowered her head. Besides, Jesse would be furious if Joel spoke that way around his beloved.
“She loved to tease me, that was for sure.”
“I’m sure you gave as much as you got,” Theresa said.
“Oh, I did,” Joel said, wonderful memories of his marriage filling his head. He certainly did tease her, especially in bed. He loved to climb on top of her and press his cock against her opening, teasing her until she pleaded with him to give her what she needed. How he relished her first cry of pleasure when he slammed into her after taunting her for a few moments. It was a wonderful memory, but far too private to share with anyone. Lovemaking with his wife was sacred.
“I’m jealous,” Theresa said. “You and Emma had the perfect marriage. So rare nowadays. I don’t know—it was probably rare back then, too.”
Joel suddenly looked sad, and Theresa could see it was more than just missing Emma.
“You all right?” Theresa asked.
“Lucy didn’t tell you, did she?”
“Tell me what?”
“We all had a long talk yesterday,” Joel began uncertainly.
“Yeah. Lucy told me you all sat and talked awhile about the war and everything you guys went through. Said it seemed to do you good to talk about it.”
Joel searched Theresa’s eyes and could see Lucy hadn’t told her about his confession. Of course she hadn’t. Lucy was no gossip, and she never would have told anyone about something so personal.
“We did have the perfect marriage. Until I fucked it up. I cheated on her.”
Theresa’s eyes went wide with surprise and disappointment. Joel hated telling her the part where Prince Charming had betrayed the beautiful princess, but she deserved to know the truth.
“I cheated on Emma while I was away at war. With some cheap hooker. Next to killing people in battle, that was the worst thing I’ve ever done. That’s why I’m still here. I could hang around here for another million years and still not be worthy of Emma.”
“So you think because you made a bad mistake you should be punished by never seeing your wife and children ever again?”
“Don’t you?” Joel asked, looking up at her.
“No!” Theresa said, and Joel was never so happy to see a pretty woman looking at him like he was the dumbest man on the planet. “You think because you did something stupid that you should be condemned to aimlessly wander the earth alone for all eternity? That’s a bit melodramatic now, don’t you think?”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“You think Emma would want this for you?” Theresa said, gesturing at Joel’s pitiful expression.
“That’s what Lucy said.”
“Lucy’s right, as usual,” Theresa said. “So, why don’t you just travel back in time and fix it?”
“What?”
“Just go back in time and undo what you did,” Theresa said, as if time travel was as simple as hopping a train to New York.
“What do I look like, Marty McFly? I can’t do that!” Joel looked at her like she was a madwoman.
“Then why are you still here?”
Joel gave her a weary look, finally understanding.
“You can’t change the past, Joel. You can’t fix it from here. You need to go to her. You can spend the rest of eternity making it up to her, but there’s not a damn thing you can do while you wander around here.”
“You’re right, I guess.” Joel got quiet for a moment. “So what’s up with you and your love life?”
“What?” Theresa was surprised but not offended by the question. She rather liked his bluntness.
“I forget you even have a boyfriend half the time because you barely ever mention him. I can’t go five minutes without talking about Emma. So what’s up with this Stevie guy? He don’t do it for ya?”
“I don’t know…I guess—” Theresa began.
“Ehhhh!” Joel said, making a wrong-answer buzzer sound. “If you have to think about it, then he’s not right for you.”
“Really? You think it’s that simple?”
“Yes. I do. You either want to be with a person or you don’t. If you’re all wishy-washy about it, then it’s doomed.”
Theresa’s face fell. Joel didn’t like seeing her upset, but he thought she was a wonderful woman and knew she deserved better.
“I knew the moment I laid eyes on Emma. I really did. Not everybody knows right away, though. That’s okay, too. But the more time you spend with a person, the more you should like them. I was so hot for Emma in the beginning. Oh, my God…” Joel shook his head, laughing. “But she was Daddy’s little girl, and she made me wait until we got married.”
Theresa laughed, too. “That must have been hard. I can’t imagine.”
“It was, but she was well worth the wait. But, you know, even after the kids came along, we were still so crazy about each other. It was like she got more and more beautiful the longer we were together. I used to run my hands along the stretch marks on her belly,” Joel said with tremendous affection. “I just knew I’d still be chasing after her even when we got old, you know?”
Theresa nodded sadly.
“I know Jesse feels the same way about Lucy. He fell for her right away, just like me and Emma.”
“They’re perfect for each other,” Theresa said.
“I know. They would have made the most wonderful family, you know? Can you imagine Jesse as a father?”
Theresa laughed. “Yeah. He would have been such a fun daddy.”
“And Lucy… She’s gonna make a great mom someday…”
“Yeah, she will.”
“You’ll take good care of her, won’t you?” Joel said, his face full of worry. “Whatever happens with Jesse?”
Theresa nodded, touched by Joel’s concern for Lucy. “Yes. I’ll do whatever I can.”
“Don’t settle,” Joel said suddenly.
“What?” Theresa asked.
“Don’t settle for just any man. Either find someone who’s worthy of you or stay single.”
“Okay, Dad.”
Joel laughed. “I’m serious! You’re damn sexy, and not just because of your body, either. You’re smart and sassy. Passionate. And you’re also kind and thoughtful.”
“Thanks,” Theresa said, sounding a little doubtful.
Joel looked into her eyes for a moment. “Theresa…you know I’m devoted to my wife. Even if I never get back to her, she’s the only woman I could ever love. But I want you to know…if that wasn’t the case…” Joel looked at Theresa with affection. “I would… you know…go for you in a heartbeat.”
Therese smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Joel. I really needed to hear that.”
“You deserve a guy who can keep up with you. I want you to promise me you won't settle for just any guy.”
Theresa thought about cracking a joke, but she was too honored by Joel’s words to make light of them. “Yeah.”
“I mean it,” he said sternly. “Otherwise, I’ll have to haunt you.”
Lucy didn’t have to work the next day, so she was able to spend more time with Jesse after her classes were done. They met at the same spot behind the Arts building at school.
They talked about all sorts of things. They talked about how well Joel seemed to be doing lately. Between making amends with Jesse, confessing his secret about his infidelity, and confiding in Theresa, he seemed so much happier. His face just looked more peaceful, and that haunted look was almost gone.
Jesse had told Lucy before that appearing more peaceful was nearly always a sign that a spirit would soon cross over. Lucy was thrilled to know that Joel might finally go home soon. She’d also seen how much happier Jesse seemed these days. She knew part of it was due to being in love, but she felt there might be more to it than that. He was more at peace. His time might be coming, too.
They spoke of their families and homes. Lucy told Jesse all about her older brother, her younger sister, and her parents. She had a wonderful, close-knit family, but she had felt she needed a fresh start at college after all her troubles in grade school and high school. Jesse told her all about life on the farm, his parents, and the dog he’d had to leave behind.
The groundskeeper was mowing the lawn off in the distance. Lucy took a deep breath, taking in the smell of fresh-cut grass as she sat close to Jesse on the blanket.
“I miss the smells of the earth, you know?” Jesse said. “It’s so hard to remember what grass and dirt smell like.”
“Yes, I imagine it must be hard to remember things like that after so long."
Jesse admired her long, brown hair. “I wish I knew what your hair smelled like.”
Lucy smiled at him. “I wish I knew what it felt like having you run your fingers through it.”
“I wish I knew what your hair looked like spread out on the bed while you’re on your back and I’m on top of you.”
Lucy laughed with delight, surprised at his boldness. Jesse grinned at her. He loved how he could say things like that to her and she didn’t blush anymore. That meant she was comfortable with him. They couldn’t be physically intimate, but it made him happy that he could tell her all the things he wished he could do with her, to her. He wanted her to know how much he desired her.
Something moving in the distance caught Lucy’s attention. Jesse followed her gaze.
“Is that…Bluebelly?” Jesse asked.
Lucy nodded. Joel came running—or gliding, really—up to them where they sat on the blanket. He’d been dashing at full speed, and Lucy half expected him to be out of breath even though that was impossible.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over the damn town for you!” Joel said, a wild look in his eye.
“What’s the matter, Joel?” Lucy asked with great concern.
Joel glanced at the blanket where Lucy and Jesse were settled. “I-I’m sorry to interrupt. Really! But you’ve got to help me, Lucy. Please?” Joel pleaded, looking desperate.
“Of course. Anything! What can I do?”
“They-they found Emma’s diary!” Joel said.
“What? Who?” Lucy asked.
“The-the-one of the historians over at the Visitor’s Center. He has an office upstairs. He was going through all the new arrivals last night. Even after all this time, they still find letters and cards and diaries when people die and other people clean out their attics and stuff.”
“You’re sure it’s Emma’s?” Lucy asked.
“Yes! It says Emma Casey on it, and believe me, I know her handwriting. I used to live for her letters back in camp. Help me, Lucy. Please!”
Lucy stood up and looked up at him. “What can I do?”
“I-I can’t read it! I-I mean, I can read it but I can’t turn the pages. And George—that’s the historian—he-he-he put it back on the shelf and I can’t get it. Lucy, please….” Joel looked at her with pure desperation as he clung to this precious connection to his wife.
“But how can I—I mean, what do I do, break into his office?”
Jesse stood up. He looked at Joel and at Lucy with equal concern. “Joel, this could be really dangerous for her. She could get arrested…”
“Of course I’ll do it!” Lucy said.
Joel nodded rapidly. “The Visitor’s Center closes at six o’clock. Usually by eight o’clock everybody’s gone. We know the security codes, we know the security guard’s schedule…”
Jesse saw Lucy’s look of determination and knew there would be no stopping her. His only choice was to help her in any way he could. He was worried that Lucy could get in big trouble for doing this, but he understood how important this was to Joel. Jesse loved Lucy every bit as passionately as Joel loved Emma. God knows, he understood.
“You sure you’re up for this?” Jesse asked Lucy uncertainly.
Lucy glanced over at Joel and knew there was no way in hell she could possibly refuse him. She nodded.
“Let’s go,” she said without hesitation.
33
“If you get arrested, this could really mess up your teaching career,” Jesse said, already regretting his decision to help Lucy do this. “Trespassing on government property?”
“I know,” Lucy said, her look of determination fiercer than ever. She wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to help her boys cross over. She would do whatever it took.
Jesse looked at Lucy as the three carefully walked up the steps to the Visitor’s Center. He had never seen Lucy look so strong, so determined. It was a huge turn-on, as if he needed another reason to find her sexy.
The soldiers remained visible so that Lucy could see them, even though it made them more conspicuous overall.
“We need to go ’round back. Much easier to get in.” Jesse said.
“Right,” Joel said, understanding the plan. The front doors to the Gettysburg Visitor’s Center were locked up tight with two different locks. The employee entrance in the back wasn’t quite so secure. It had one simple lock, and the key was always resting on top of the doorjamb. This was to allow easy access for the employees who stepped out for smoke breaks. Employees also used this exit to leave for lunch breaks or when they left for the day.
