The Truths We Seek, page 13
Would I rather lose myself in getting sweaty? In all ways imaginable? Yes, please, sign me up. But I need something to occupy my mind for the in-between.
At least until I’m ready to deal with this shit I’m avoiding.
Is it healthy? Of course not. My therapist is probably the most frustrated human on the planet right now. But this is how I deal. I need processing time before I sit in it anymore. I did the initial wallowing, guilt-ridden thing, but I can’t anymore.
Everyone deals with shit differently, this is how I’m doing it.
My way.
Might not be the “right” way, but fuck it.
Who says there is a right way?
Once we reach the gym, I hook my phone up to the speakers and play Middle Fingers by Aston while I warm up on the treadmill. I run like my demons are chasing me, the music keeping me focused as it switches to Shake by The Haunt and my mind finally quiets.
“You think the boys will let me help out with the business?” I ask Bruno, who quirks his brow at me.
“You want to help with the business?” he asks, basically parroting my question.
“That’s what I said.”
He laughs, just once, but shakes his head. “I doubt it, Quinn. They want to keep you safe, which means as far away from the business as possible. Why do you think you’re not even at the club anymore? Too many variables. Outside of this compound, the risk… well, it’s higher. Even here isn’t entirely safe, as you discovered, but it’s easier. Until they find out who was helping Trent—”
“What do you mean, helping Trent?” I hit the stop button on the treadmill and turn my full attention to him.
“Shit,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Nothing. I meant nothing. But no, I don’t think they’ll let you help with the business.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I stare him down, fairly certain he’s laughing on the inside at just how terrifying I’m not, but I want to know what he meant. “Bullshit to nothing. What did you mean?”
“Fuck,” he grumbles, staring back at me. “Trent had help, we just don’t know who. If they find out I told you, I am fucking fish food.”
“So dramatic,” I respond, rolling my eyes before jumping off the treadmill. “But thank you. A few things make more sense now.”
I’m a little frustrated that Meyer didn’t tell me, but he did say there were threats I guess. He just wasn’t specific.
“Secret's safe with me.” He visibly relaxes at my words and I smile. “Trust goes both ways, right? I’m not going to tell on you, not when I wanted to know. Now, I feel like sushi. You hungry?”
“I don’t think Carlos—”
“I don’t mean Carlos,” I tell him with a smile. “Let’s go grab lunch!”
After the bust of trying to help with the “family business”, since I got back from my lunch with Bruno, I’ve been scrolling online looking at part time jobs and volunteer work that I might be able to do, just to pass some time. I’ve never really sat well in the housewife role, and since Carlos does the cooking and grocery shopping and the guys have a freaking team of cleaners, there’s nothing in that role for me to do anyway.
The only things I have to pass my time are TV and working out, and I’m getting restless. I want to do something. Find some purpose. Too many sacrifices were made for me to get to this point. The whole point was so that I would be free to live my life, and while I am free—admittedly with constraints, which are mildly understandable after what Meyer told me last week—I don’t feel like I’m free.
Even knowing there are threats, I can’t just do nothing. I’m still tucked away like a little lost bird in a cage, like I have a broken wing. And I’m not saying I’m not broken, lord knows the multiple weekly sessions with my therapist are testament enough to that, but I don’t need to be squirreled away.
A broken wing never mends if it isn’t given the chance to stretch and fly.
Which is exactly how I find myself in Meyer’s office with Rory and Hunter, trying to plead my case.
Again.
I tug on the cuffs of my sweater, giving them the best puppy dog eyes I can muster, before saying, “Pleaseeeeee.”
It feels gross having to almost beg, but all things considered, between Trent, Tommy, and the other stuff they have going on, I realized going full-scale wild child and just doing it without speaking to them would be childish.
Even if I feel like a child right now, this is definitely the better path.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
“You know if you guys are on my side, Meyer will cave.” I flutter my lashes at them and Hunter starts laughing.
“You definitely make a compelling case, Angel, but I don’t know if now is the right time. I know you hate being cooped up, God knows I would too, but we’d have to send Eddie with you wherever you went, and that might raise more questions. We have to think about potential collateral as well.”
“Well, I’m on board,” Rory says with a shrug. “I know the benefits of being team Quinn.” He winks at me and I grin wide, thinking about the night I cornered him in his room and had him join team me for my last battle with Meyer.
“Benefits?” Hunter asks, wagging his brow. “No one said anything about benefits.”
“Oh, the benefits are fucking great,” Rory tags on and I start to laugh. “Might be even better if we got to share those benefits.”
He stares at me and I feel my cheeks heat. “You’d want that?”
He nods in answer and I glance over at Hunter, who is already on his feet and moving toward me. “You have no idea how much we’d want that.”
He kisses me with so much want that my toes curl as I clasp his t-shirt. When his lips leave mine, he moves so he’s standing behind me, his hands on my hips, and Rory stands.
“You sure you want to play this game, Angel?” Hunter whispers to me, and I suck in a raspy breath. It’s not something we’ve done, but I can’t say it’s not something I’ve thought about happening.
“Yes.” The word falls from my lips like a whisper then Rory is in front of me, his lips on mine as Hunter kisses down my neck.
Holy fucking shit that feels so good.
I have a tingly sensation with every touch of their fingers and lips. Every whisper they breathe across my skin.
"Turn around." Rory murmurs over my lips just as the warmth of Hunter's body leaves me bereft.
Still, I do what Rory tells me to do and turn so his front is now flush against my back.
Hunter has taken a seat on one of the sofa chairs, his demeanor calm and collected, almost bored. Until, that is, I look into his eyes and see it all like a high-definition screen. With eyes fixed on me, his irises dilated and his nostrils flaring with every touch of Rory's fingers down my sides, his hunger is plain to see. Legs apart, elbows pressed on the arm of the chair as he fists his fingers under his chin, he licks his lips as though he can already taste me.
"Aren't you going to join us?" I'm suddenly feeling shy, like maybe he's not interested, which is crazy, right?
"I will. But first, I want to see what these benefits are." The glint in his eyes is filled with both humor and dark promises to come and goddamn, I'm here for it all.
Without taking his eyes off me, Hunter brings one hand to the buttons of his jeans and pops them open, one by one.
Behind me, Rory is licking a path from my collar bone to the base of my ear before pinching the flesh between his teeth.
"Look at his dick, Quinn." My eyes drop to where Hunter is spreading the lapels of his jeans and pulls out his cock. Commando, of course. That's just how he rolls.
I barely have time to lick my lips before Rory's palm connects with my neck and his fingers instantly press on my pressure points. This position gives him complete access to my neck but his only interest at this moment is to get me nice and wet without even needing to touch me in all the places I want him to destroy me.
"I bet you can already taste him in your mouth, can't you? Do you want to gag on it, Quinn? Maybe see your life pass before your eyes as you wonder if he's going to choke you out of your last breath?" Rory's words would be concerning if I didn’t know him… this is foreplay.
And how fucked up is that?
I don't bother answering him. All of his questions are rhetorical, a means to get me worked up for them.
Rory slides one hand down my front, tweaking a nipple as he goes. Curling his fingers around the hem of my sweater, he pulls it up and over my head but doesn't take it all the way off. Instead, he stops the fabric mid-way down my arms, trapping them as he twists the sweater in his fist and tightens his hold on me.
My chest is heaving, my nipples poking through my bra as he slides the hand on my neck down my sternum until he reaches the thin, lace material. With rough jerks, he pulls the cups down and exposes my tits to Hunter, who darts his tongue out to lick his bottom lip as though he can taste me.
My gaze drops to his hand again as it squeezes his dick, stroking himself long and slow.
"I think he likes what he sees, baby. But I think he needs the whole picture, don't you?" That same hand glides down my stomach right to the button on my jeans, which he pops open without a hint of resistance. The zipper is next, cool air lowering my body temperature enough to give me time to breathe.
It's so fucking hot in here, that can't be normal.
Rory twists my sweater tighter as he pulls down, forcing my chest out more and my head back, bringing my ear to his mouth.
"If I put my fingers in your cunt, how wet will they be?"
This time I do answer.
"Very."
"Good girl."
Using my sweater as bindings, Rory does quick work of tying the sleeves around my wrists like he's been doing this his entire life. Maybe he has. Once I'm tied up to his satisfaction, he slams his palms against my hips and hooks his thumbs in my jeans, pulling them off right along with my undies.
That's all it takes for me to be completely naked for them. Oddly enough, he doesn't take my bra off, just leaves my tits out on display, but I don't question any of it because my mind is too focused on Hunter and the way he's pulling out his balls as he pushes his jeans further down his thighs. My God, he's fucking delicious. Intense. Mine.
I'm ripped out of my musings when Rory pushes me to the office floor, keeping one hand on the top of my head before tunneling his fingers into my hair and pulling my head back.
Standing to my side, he smiles down at me and whispers, "Open." It's then I realize he's got his own dick out and I'm about to get the Rory face fucking I love so much.
My mouth drops open, my eyes never veering from the intensity of his state as he pushes his dick between my lips and grins. It's not a loving grin, it's everything primal and depraved, like he knows a secret and will only tell me once I can't refuse.
"Remember, baby, this is you giving us the benefits of being on your side. Time to earn your alliances." I don't have time to register his words before his cock is pushed into my mouth all the way down until my nose bumps his groin and the head nudges, then invades, the back of my throat.
I gag, earning a long, sinful, groan from Rory. My eyes instantly water and saliva starts dripping at the corners of my mouth.
The Rory face fuck is almost cruel in its intensity but I can't get enough of it.
"Look at those tears, Hunter. She's crying for us." Then he pulls out just an inch, allowing me to breathe easier, but not long enough to get a good gasp in before he's gagging me again.
Tsking, Rory, tightens his grip on my hair to the point of delicious pain. "Breathing is for the weak, baby. You gag and you fight for your life. I decide when you get to breathe." My eyes widen as I try to keep my lungs filled with air, letting out as little as possible through my nose but getting more and more desperate. Stars are flashing at the corners of my eyes as he pulls me back an inch more and palms my neck, no doubt feeling his cock down my throat.
"You look so pretty with my dick choking the life out of you." I blink, my tears running into my ears and my saliva only making his deep, slow thrusts easier for him.
My vision starts to blur and his face, cruel and loving all at the same time, disappears with every slow blink I take.
Just when I feel my entire being on the brink of giving out, he pulls out and orders, "Breathe."
I gasp, gulping in mouthfuls of air and coughing at the sudden freedom from his grasp.
"Now crawl to Hunter and show him how much you appreciate his generosity."
It's not exactly easy crawling with my arms tied behind my back and my chest burning from the earlier lack of oxygen, but I do what I promised I would.
I earn my freedom.
Once I reach Hunter, the scene shifts from depraved to loving in an instant. As I crawled, Hunter made space for me by taking his jeans completely off and spreading his thighs for me. Leaning up, he palms my cheeks with both hands and brings his hot, possessive mouth to mine, searing me with a kiss I feel all the way down to my swollen clit.
Rory wouldn't be disappointed by how wet I am. I'm fucking soaked because I, apparently, love fearing for my life.
Again, how fucked up is that?
But Hunter is my flip side. He soothes the rough edges, makes Rory's corners a little more rounded and gives me the balm after the burn.
Pulling away, Hunter looks right into my eyes and murmurs, "Watching you like that was fucking beautiful, Angel." I smile at his words then do what I was told.
Fisting his cock at the base, Hunter uses his other hand to push my head down. I swallow him up in one smooth move, the musky scent of him invading my nostrils and warming my chest with the familiarity of him.
I'm well aware that my ass is on full display for Rory, so it's no surprise when I feel the heat of him at my back, pressing against my bound arms.
"That's it, baby. Suck his dick like it's your last meal." Two fingers push into my pussy and I moan around Hunter's dick, earning me a long, satisfying groan.
I love making my men lose even the tiniest bit of control because it means that I hold it. They're only pretending to be in charge.
Rory adds another finger, hooking it deep inside me and causing a gasp to fight its way out of my mouth as I try to release Hunter's dick.
I can't though.
One hand is pushing me down and it doesn't take a genius to know it's Rory's handiwork.
Meanwhile, Hunter is rubbing soothing circles with his thumb over my pulse point.
It's a whole new taste of pleasure and pain.
"You're so fucking wet. We could both slide into your cunt at the same time." At his words, my pussy clenches like it's actually yearning for that exact scenario, and judging from the dark chuckle beside my ear, Rory knows it too.
Oh fuck.
No. He can't actually be serious.
"Is that what you want, baby? Two dicks fucking this greedy little pussy?" Again, my walls squeeze his fingers and again, he chuckles, all the while pushing my head down until I'm choking on Hunter's impossibly hard dick.
"Oh, Hunter. I think our benefits just doubled."
"Is that what you want, Angel?" My eyes fly up to Hunter's concerned gaze and whatever it is he sees in them only makes his irises dilate and his nostrils flare like a predator.
He may be the more docile of the three but I'm not crazy or naïve enough to think he's not just as hungry as Rory and Meyer.
In a matter of seconds, I'm torn off Hunter's dick and Rory's fingers are no longer inside me.
I blink up, a little disoriented, to see them both gazing down at me.
When did Hunter stand up?
It doesn't matter, I've got bigger problems right about now. Very, very big, and hard, and ready to pummel me, problems.
Still on my knees, I wonder why they're just standing there, staring at me.
"The desk is too high." Hunter muses.
"From behind won't do, anyway." Are they discussing how they're going to fuck me?
"The loveseat won't do." Rory shakes his head at Hunter's words, and although they're both looking at me, their minds' eyes are all over this office.
"The carpet it is, then." They both say at the same time.
This whole situation is surreal, being discussed like they're trying to move furniture around a small space and not sure if it'll fit.
"I'm right here, you know?" I say, the corner of my lip rising in a small growl.
"Get the lube." Hunter calls out just as he squats to my level and buries his fingers in my hair.
"This might sting a little."
My logical brain tells me I should recoil, yet that's not what happens. In fact, I lean into Hunter, almost purring at the thought of him and Rory using my body to the brink of sanity just to bring me right back to reality.
"What's the use of an orgasm if you don't work for it?" I sass back but my gaze catches on Rory rummaging through the desk, who stops and raises a brow at me like my comment just gave him permission for all kinds of kinky shit.
Palming the side of my face, Hunter brings me in for a deep, soulful kiss. The kind that starts at my lips but travels like lightning down my spine and around to my clit.
I want to reach out and touch him, wrap my arms around his neck and devour every inch of his mouth, but that's not what they have in mind. My arms are still securely tied behind my back and even though I could probably manage to free myself, I don't want to disobey.
At least not yet.
As Hunter explores my mouth so thoroughly that I lose myself in the taste of him, his scent is all around me, intoxicating, like an age-old bourbon. My body is leaning in his direction, my balance teetering as I search for more of him. Almost more, always closer.
"Such an eager little slut, aren't you, baby?" I startle at the sound of Rory's voice right behind me, my mind too consumed by Hunter's mouth.
Both men lead me to the carpet and my first thought is that it's going to burn. If they fuck me on this rug, I'll have the marks to prove it.
I can't fucking wait to wear them proudly.
