Unlikely Harmony, page 9
Chuckling, Sebastian stood and tapped her on the nose. “Darling, I’m nearly thirty, just like you. ‘Boyfriend’ is more of a college phase. ‘Partner’ is much more inclusive to the full scope of our relationship, professionally and intimately.” He turned his attention back to where I was still cuddling Mimi and struggling to keep up with the siblings’ banter. “Don’t you agree?”
When I got to my feet beside him, he wrapped his arm around my waist and the tempest of nerves swirling inside me settled. I nodded and he pulled me more firmly against him. I couldn’t help but melt a little into his embrace.
“I shall be twenty-nine until I’m seventy, so I have no idea what you mean.” Siobhan snapped her fingers and pulled a small slip of paper from the pocket of her asymmetric gray houndstooth skirt. “Speaking of professional, Louis called my office today about your return.” She waved a hand dismissively as she collected the purse she’d discarded on the high-back chair when she had entered. “Something about scheduling a huge surprise comeback special.”
She crossed the room but hesitated in the doorway, one hand on the dark wood of the frame. Her face softened and a much more authentic smile teased around her mouth. “You two really are adorable together. And I’ll take full credit for being the first to ship you!”
Sebastian smacked his palm on his forehead. “She ‘shipped’ us. My incredibly successful attorney sister has the vocabulary of a high schooler. She could have just as easily said she thinks we’d make a good couple.”
He turned me within the space of his arms, as close as he dared without squashing Mimi, who was now contentedly snoozing against my chest. “Are you really okay with that? Being my partner rather than my boyfriend? I don’t exactly mind the title if you’d prefer it.”
I shook my head and nuzzled into his neck. The definition of ‘partner’ carried a depth that exceeded simply dating. As he’d said, it better encompassed us from where we’d started until…whatever this was that we’d become. I was certain I’d lose my ability to speak if I tried to relay what it meant to me. Instead, I nodded. “I think it fits perfectly.”
He hummed as I planted small kisses along the column leading to his shoulder. “There’s one thing we disagree on, chiot.”
My heart sighed just as it did every time he used the pet name he’d given me. “Yes?”
Sebastian cupped my face and held it a breath away from his. “You’re the siren here. You’ve tempted me into far more dangerous waters than any sailor ever dared to go.”
Chapter Seventeen
Sebastian
“Louis, I was just cleared to sing today. I don’t even know what my voice will sound like, considering the small fact I haven’t sung in over a month.” That was not a complete truth, as I’d run some simple scales for the past week since getting the clearance for it, so I’d had a little vocal exercise, but I was terrified that my range had been impacted from the hemorrhage that had created this entire fiasco.
His deep, overly dramatic sigh made me smile, in spite of the topic. Every summer Grand-père would take Siobhan and me to the estate where he’d grown up in Archamps, France, and within minutes of our arrival, Louis would be on our doorstep ready to play. I was grateful that my childhood friend had become my business manager in adulthood, but there were times he was hard to take seriously.
Especially when he embodied the very stereotypical French theatrics. “Mon cherie, there isn’t a force in this universe big enough to derail Sebastian Chevalier’s voice. I’m going to hit up the major houses immediately—Sydney, Paris, Milan.”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling but caught a brief movement out of the corner of my eye. A mop of dark hair with thick strands falling into chocolate-brown eyes peeking into the music room took every ounce of my attention away from my phone call. Nothing had changed about the man since the first time he’d crossed my doorstep, but every part of how I viewed him most definitely had.
The instantaneous attraction I’d tried so desperately to deny had morphed into something more as we worked together. The inherent way he managed to grasp my vision for my work and make it even greater than I’d envisioned was both indescribable and beautiful.
Jasper entered the room, cradling Mimi to his chest, and my heart ached. Louis’ voice faded into oblivion as reality slammed into me with the force of a tornado. I was falling in love with Jasper Lorde.
Logic tried to override the tidal wave of emotion washing over me. There was no possible way I could feel more for this man in one month than I had for any other in my entire life.
But it was true. As he set Mimi in her miniature throne of honor, her overly indulgent cashmere dog bed with the faux fur blanket that she could burrow beneath, he turned to grin at me and all rational thought fled. ‘Love’ was the only right word.
“I trust you, Louis. Work your magic, give me the details and I’ll be there. Just give me a day to make sure I still have a gift worth marketing.”
I clicked off the call, slid my phone into my back pocket and crossed the few feet separating us to pull him into my arms. “I didn’t even hear you come in.” My gaze dropped to Mimi, who was pawing the blanket into the perfect ball of decadent fluff to appease her pampered ass. “Although apparently your biggest fan didn’t miss out on your arrival.”
He gripped my shoulder with one hand and shrugged slightly. “Siobhan passed her off to me on her way out.” He shot me an openly mischievous grin. “And I might have brought her a few treats to bribe her to like me.”
I tipped my head back and groaned. “She already adores you. There’s no need to feed into her ego, which possibly is bigger than mine.”
He narrowed his gaze, the corners of his lips twitching with a repressed smile as he attempted to school his features into a serious expression. “Is that even possible?”
With a deep growl, I dropped my hand from his waist to his ass and squeezed tightly. “Behave, chiot.” I lowered my forehead to rest against his. “You need to praise my incredibly rusty voice when I try to sing this blasted opera.”
Jasper’s eyes widened and he pulled away slightly within the circle of my embrace. “Sing?” He cupped my face with a tenderness that took my breath away. “You were cleared to sing?”
It was a moment where I had a pivotal choice. I could be Sebastian Chevalier or I could be…better. I could be what Jasper deserved.
“Yes, but I’m nervous.” The admission was far easier than I’d expected. Even though the level of vulnerability I was showing was uncomfortable, I wanted to not only show Jasper the kind of honesty I hoped he’d be willing to display, but I also had an unusual need to make sure our foundation was a strong one. Our relationship had quickly become a priority to me. And being open was part of my responsibility to him, to us.
His face melted into a mixture of sympathy and compassion that, surprisingly, didn’t annoy me. “Nervous is my middle name. Trust me. That is something I’ll never judge you for. And no matter how you sound to your own ears, I can guarantee your siren’s song will hypnotize and entice me.”
Salacious and damn near irresistible innuendo coated the words of encouragement and tempted me to toss the sheet music to the side and indulge in far more calming acts. “We are going to explore that much, much more after I try this.” I nuzzled against his ear, nipping at the lobe before lowering my voice. “And, chiot, you are most definitely the one luring me to an inevitable demise.”
He shivered beneath my touch and it was practically my undoing. He pushed gently on my shoulder and took a step back. He took a seat at the piano and waved a hand in my direction. “Go on, before I get too distracted and drag you upstairs so we don’t scar Mimi’s delicate little psyche by doing all kinds of dirty things in her majesty’s presence.”
I arched an eyebrow in his direction and arranged the sheet music on the stand in front of me. “Are you giving the orders now?”
A wicked twinkle lit up his eyes. “Never, but I promise a very deserved reward for my brilliant siren if he sings for me.”
The roof of my mouth was suddenly dry, thanks to the overwhelming lust his comment had incited. I reached for the bottle of water waiting for me on the coaster atop the piano and took a deep gulp. Instead of even attempting to speak when I wasn’t sure I could form coherent words, I nodded and Jasper played the intro.
Over the weeks we worked together, I’d managed to find solace and comfort in the music we’d created that had stitched part of my broken soul back into one piece and shone a ray of light in the darkness of my medically induced silence. But as the words fell from my lips, the pieces of me that had remained fragmented, despite my best efforts, melded until I felt like Sebastian Chevalier once more.
As I hit the most nerve-racking part, a crescendo that was not only going to test my long-dormant range but also my emotional depth, I couldn’t help but seek out Jasper. A fraction of my nerves disappeared when our gazes collided and I saw a few errant tears tracking down his cheeks. As my voice trailed off with the diminuendo, Jasper abandoned both the piano and the final notes of the piece to launch himself into my arms.
He held my face firmly in his grasp and captured my mouth in a kiss that managed to twist my so recently repaired core into a tight knot of love and devotion. Yes, I felt like myself again, but for the first time I hoped I was a better version of me.
Chapter Eighteen
Jasper
“What in the bloody hell are you doing still ringing the bell?” Siobhan had begun her mini tirade before she even had the door completely open.
I crossed the threshold and set down Phoebe before shrugging off my coat, an all-too-familiar routine that might kill me when it came to an end. “Uh…using manners? This isn’t my house.”
She gently kissed my cheek and some of her normally playful facade melted away. “But you’re already family as far as I’m concerned.” She patted my shoulder then deposited Mimi in my arms in the same way she had every morning as she left for work just as I arrived. “You managed to tame the raging beast that is my brother and, even more impressive, you’ve got Mimi’s approval. You’re stuck.”
“I’m not a raging beast and I certainly didn’t need to be tamed.” Sebastian’s baritone voice coming down the hall behind me made me jump slightly. He smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pressing his lips first to my forehead then on Mimi’s crown. “Siobhan is right about winning over Mimi, though. She doesn’t like sharing.”
Siobhan lifted onto her tiptoes and kissed her brother on the cheek, just as she’d done to me, and an unexpected warmth coursed through my veins. Her unquestioning acceptance of me into their lives and their home was like priceless gold filling in the long-stagnant cracks in my heart. There hadn’t been a big moment or intense discussion. Over the weeks I’d been coming here, the bond had simply grown and I was even more simply accepted.
At least, the part of me they saw. The small amount I’d shared.
“Go give your boyfriend the good news, and I’ll review the contracts and let you know if I find anything.” With that exceptionally intriguing statement, she turned on the heel of her dark brown suede boot and walked out of the front door.
A litany of French quietly escaped Sebastian’s mouth, so quiet I could barely hear it. Although frustration etched itself in the lines that formed between his brows and the tight set of his lips, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Do I even want to ask for a translation?” Mimi worked her way up higher on my chest until her tiny head was buried in the crook of my neck. The only creature in this house that could possibly be more endearing than the grumpy blond in front of me was the tiny ball of fur curled close.
He rolled his eyes and led me toward the music room. “No, although teaching you French would be fun.” Even a completely benign conversation like this managed to carry seductive undertones and delightfully enticing innuendos. “But my sister has always managed to ruin my surprises since we were kids.”
I laughed and took a seat in the corner of the incredibly uncomfortable couch Sebastian had once told me his sister had chosen for ‘aesthetic purposes’. Mimi gave a small huff in my arms as I adjusted her slightly before she snuggled in again. “She didn’t ruin anything, but now you have to tell me, because I am very intrigued.”
Sebastian threw me a wicked smile that sent an arrow straight to my groin and made me shift on my seat, much to Mimi’s displeasure. “Is that so, chiot?”
I licked my suddenly dry lips and nodded. “Y-yes.”
He arched a single eyebrow and dipped his chin as he took a seat a few feet away on the piano bench. “Yes?”
A shiver of anticipation wormed its way up my spine. “Yes, Sir.”
“How badly do you want to know what Siobhan was talking about?” His voice managed to lower an octave when he shifted from normal talking to whatever delicious and sadistic turn he was taking into a much more playful role.
My entire body trembled with excitement, to the point that the small dog got completely fed up with my inability to be her perfect pillow and promptly jumped from my arms to the couch then to the floor. I could have sworn she flicked her tail at me like it was a middle finger. Since he hadn’t given me the slightest indication as to what this mystery was, I couldn’t possibly decide whether or not it was even something I’d care about, but at this stage, it could very well be the grocery list and I’d be salivating to find out more.
“Very badly…” I paused and he pinned me with a meaningful stare. “Very badly, Sir.” Every use of the term of respect cemented my inevitable demise. It was more than my heart that was falling for him. The core of who I was, the identity I’d found and embraced as a submissive, the fractured version of myself that I’d become mostly comfortable with… That was the part of me I wasn’t so sure would recover when Sebastian learned about the deeper scars I still carried that impacted how I lived my life.
Sebastian hummed and the dark path my thoughts had begun to trail down evaporated at the sound. “A curious little chiot can be fun.”
My whimper dissolved into a groan when he rose and crossed the few feet between us. He sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap so I straddled his thighs. He ran both his hands under my shirt, caressing my stomach, my sides, my back. He pressed his fingers into my upper spine until I lowered my head, but just before our lips met, he arched his neck, lifting his mouth away from mine.
“It is something very special.” He grazed the briefest of kisses along my jaw. “A very important celebration for something we’ve both worked very hard on.”
A dense fog of lust blanketed my brain and the only thing I cared about working on was the man I was grinding my dick against. “A celebration?” I repeated the words, only barely registering them as I spoke.
He dropped his hands to cup my ass and rock my hips forward. “Yes, chiot, and as much as I’d like to make you wonder—and I damn sure would love to hear you beg—I’m far too excited to hold this back.”
Need and desire had driven me past the point where I cared about anything other than how fast I could sweet-talk Sebastian into fucking me. I gripped the back of his neck and rubbed my still sadly clothed cock into his. “Excited about what?”
Pride radiated from his face as he beamed the brightest smile up at me that I’d ever seen. An expression that wiped all the bullshit I’d been trying to feed myself clean from my consciousness until the reality lay bare before me. I’d crossed the line I’d found myself toeing for several days now and I was madly in love with the man in front of me.
“My manager booked us to debut at the LA Opera House. Have you ever been? It’s a gorgeous building with excellent acoustics. La Restauration d'un Homme will sound stunning there.” He dug his nails lightly into my back. “And, of course you’ll go with me. He’s arranged for a limo to collect us from the airport and a luxury suite at the Biltmore Hotel. By the gods, chiot, I can’t wait to find ways to play with you in the car—”
Every atom of my being stilled as soon as he mentioned the word ‘car’. Ice replaced the fire that had just been coursing through my veins. I scrambled out of his embrace and to my feet. “No!”
The flush of desire that had colored his cheeks faded nearly immediately with the single word.
“What do you mean ‘no’?”
Electricity zapped through me, sparking along my muscles and tendons, silently compelling me to run the fuck away. The words I needed to speak the most lodged themselves in the back of my throat. How could I possibly explain to Sebastian Chevalier—a fucking living legend—that despite years of therapy and innumerable attempts at overcoming it, I hadn’t been able to set a foot inside a vehicle in a decade? That I had turned down several accompanist opportunities, specifically at the LA Opera House, because there was no tram or train from the airport? That flying was enough of a struggle, but riding in a car was a fucking impossibility?
Suspicion reflected back at me in his eyes as he stood and closed the space I’d created between us. He lifted a hand but then dropped it back down to his side. “Jasper, just breathe. Talk to me. What’s wrong with going to LA?”
His voice was lost in a cacophony of splintering glass and tearing metal as the memories, more vivid than they’d been in a long time, took hold of me. Tremors that could rival an earthquake vibrated through my body and unbidden tears streaked down my cheeks. I was heading into a full-blown panic attack from his simple suggestion to ride in a limo. How could I ever believe myself worthy of him when I suffocated under the weight of nightmares and mental scars so deep they created…this?
I moved my mouth, but no sounds came out. I finally just shook my head and turned to leave. The delusions I’d forced myself to believe shattered around me and the ugly truth of reality glared brightly back at me. I made my feet move, propelling me out of the front door, stopping only long enough to grab the handle of Phoebe’s case.
There wasn’t a chance in hell Sebastian Chevalier could be anything more in my life than a bright, brilliant memory I’d cherish.
When I got to my feet beside him, he wrapped his arm around my waist and the tempest of nerves swirling inside me settled. I nodded and he pulled me more firmly against him. I couldn’t help but melt a little into his embrace.
“I shall be twenty-nine until I’m seventy, so I have no idea what you mean.” Siobhan snapped her fingers and pulled a small slip of paper from the pocket of her asymmetric gray houndstooth skirt. “Speaking of professional, Louis called my office today about your return.” She waved a hand dismissively as she collected the purse she’d discarded on the high-back chair when she had entered. “Something about scheduling a huge surprise comeback special.”
She crossed the room but hesitated in the doorway, one hand on the dark wood of the frame. Her face softened and a much more authentic smile teased around her mouth. “You two really are adorable together. And I’ll take full credit for being the first to ship you!”
Sebastian smacked his palm on his forehead. “She ‘shipped’ us. My incredibly successful attorney sister has the vocabulary of a high schooler. She could have just as easily said she thinks we’d make a good couple.”
He turned me within the space of his arms, as close as he dared without squashing Mimi, who was now contentedly snoozing against my chest. “Are you really okay with that? Being my partner rather than my boyfriend? I don’t exactly mind the title if you’d prefer it.”
I shook my head and nuzzled into his neck. The definition of ‘partner’ carried a depth that exceeded simply dating. As he’d said, it better encompassed us from where we’d started until…whatever this was that we’d become. I was certain I’d lose my ability to speak if I tried to relay what it meant to me. Instead, I nodded. “I think it fits perfectly.”
He hummed as I planted small kisses along the column leading to his shoulder. “There’s one thing we disagree on, chiot.”
My heart sighed just as it did every time he used the pet name he’d given me. “Yes?”
Sebastian cupped my face and held it a breath away from his. “You’re the siren here. You’ve tempted me into far more dangerous waters than any sailor ever dared to go.”
Chapter Seventeen
Sebastian
“Louis, I was just cleared to sing today. I don’t even know what my voice will sound like, considering the small fact I haven’t sung in over a month.” That was not a complete truth, as I’d run some simple scales for the past week since getting the clearance for it, so I’d had a little vocal exercise, but I was terrified that my range had been impacted from the hemorrhage that had created this entire fiasco.
His deep, overly dramatic sigh made me smile, in spite of the topic. Every summer Grand-père would take Siobhan and me to the estate where he’d grown up in Archamps, France, and within minutes of our arrival, Louis would be on our doorstep ready to play. I was grateful that my childhood friend had become my business manager in adulthood, but there were times he was hard to take seriously.
Especially when he embodied the very stereotypical French theatrics. “Mon cherie, there isn’t a force in this universe big enough to derail Sebastian Chevalier’s voice. I’m going to hit up the major houses immediately—Sydney, Paris, Milan.”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling but caught a brief movement out of the corner of my eye. A mop of dark hair with thick strands falling into chocolate-brown eyes peeking into the music room took every ounce of my attention away from my phone call. Nothing had changed about the man since the first time he’d crossed my doorstep, but every part of how I viewed him most definitely had.
The instantaneous attraction I’d tried so desperately to deny had morphed into something more as we worked together. The inherent way he managed to grasp my vision for my work and make it even greater than I’d envisioned was both indescribable and beautiful.
Jasper entered the room, cradling Mimi to his chest, and my heart ached. Louis’ voice faded into oblivion as reality slammed into me with the force of a tornado. I was falling in love with Jasper Lorde.
Logic tried to override the tidal wave of emotion washing over me. There was no possible way I could feel more for this man in one month than I had for any other in my entire life.
But it was true. As he set Mimi in her miniature throne of honor, her overly indulgent cashmere dog bed with the faux fur blanket that she could burrow beneath, he turned to grin at me and all rational thought fled. ‘Love’ was the only right word.
“I trust you, Louis. Work your magic, give me the details and I’ll be there. Just give me a day to make sure I still have a gift worth marketing.”
I clicked off the call, slid my phone into my back pocket and crossed the few feet separating us to pull him into my arms. “I didn’t even hear you come in.” My gaze dropped to Mimi, who was pawing the blanket into the perfect ball of decadent fluff to appease her pampered ass. “Although apparently your biggest fan didn’t miss out on your arrival.”
He gripped my shoulder with one hand and shrugged slightly. “Siobhan passed her off to me on her way out.” He shot me an openly mischievous grin. “And I might have brought her a few treats to bribe her to like me.”
I tipped my head back and groaned. “She already adores you. There’s no need to feed into her ego, which possibly is bigger than mine.”
He narrowed his gaze, the corners of his lips twitching with a repressed smile as he attempted to school his features into a serious expression. “Is that even possible?”
With a deep growl, I dropped my hand from his waist to his ass and squeezed tightly. “Behave, chiot.” I lowered my forehead to rest against his. “You need to praise my incredibly rusty voice when I try to sing this blasted opera.”
Jasper’s eyes widened and he pulled away slightly within the circle of my embrace. “Sing?” He cupped my face with a tenderness that took my breath away. “You were cleared to sing?”
It was a moment where I had a pivotal choice. I could be Sebastian Chevalier or I could be…better. I could be what Jasper deserved.
“Yes, but I’m nervous.” The admission was far easier than I’d expected. Even though the level of vulnerability I was showing was uncomfortable, I wanted to not only show Jasper the kind of honesty I hoped he’d be willing to display, but I also had an unusual need to make sure our foundation was a strong one. Our relationship had quickly become a priority to me. And being open was part of my responsibility to him, to us.
His face melted into a mixture of sympathy and compassion that, surprisingly, didn’t annoy me. “Nervous is my middle name. Trust me. That is something I’ll never judge you for. And no matter how you sound to your own ears, I can guarantee your siren’s song will hypnotize and entice me.”
Salacious and damn near irresistible innuendo coated the words of encouragement and tempted me to toss the sheet music to the side and indulge in far more calming acts. “We are going to explore that much, much more after I try this.” I nuzzled against his ear, nipping at the lobe before lowering my voice. “And, chiot, you are most definitely the one luring me to an inevitable demise.”
He shivered beneath my touch and it was practically my undoing. He pushed gently on my shoulder and took a step back. He took a seat at the piano and waved a hand in my direction. “Go on, before I get too distracted and drag you upstairs so we don’t scar Mimi’s delicate little psyche by doing all kinds of dirty things in her majesty’s presence.”
I arched an eyebrow in his direction and arranged the sheet music on the stand in front of me. “Are you giving the orders now?”
A wicked twinkle lit up his eyes. “Never, but I promise a very deserved reward for my brilliant siren if he sings for me.”
The roof of my mouth was suddenly dry, thanks to the overwhelming lust his comment had incited. I reached for the bottle of water waiting for me on the coaster atop the piano and took a deep gulp. Instead of even attempting to speak when I wasn’t sure I could form coherent words, I nodded and Jasper played the intro.
Over the weeks we worked together, I’d managed to find solace and comfort in the music we’d created that had stitched part of my broken soul back into one piece and shone a ray of light in the darkness of my medically induced silence. But as the words fell from my lips, the pieces of me that had remained fragmented, despite my best efforts, melded until I felt like Sebastian Chevalier once more.
As I hit the most nerve-racking part, a crescendo that was not only going to test my long-dormant range but also my emotional depth, I couldn’t help but seek out Jasper. A fraction of my nerves disappeared when our gazes collided and I saw a few errant tears tracking down his cheeks. As my voice trailed off with the diminuendo, Jasper abandoned both the piano and the final notes of the piece to launch himself into my arms.
He held my face firmly in his grasp and captured my mouth in a kiss that managed to twist my so recently repaired core into a tight knot of love and devotion. Yes, I felt like myself again, but for the first time I hoped I was a better version of me.
Chapter Eighteen
Jasper
“What in the bloody hell are you doing still ringing the bell?” Siobhan had begun her mini tirade before she even had the door completely open.
I crossed the threshold and set down Phoebe before shrugging off my coat, an all-too-familiar routine that might kill me when it came to an end. “Uh…using manners? This isn’t my house.”
She gently kissed my cheek and some of her normally playful facade melted away. “But you’re already family as far as I’m concerned.” She patted my shoulder then deposited Mimi in my arms in the same way she had every morning as she left for work just as I arrived. “You managed to tame the raging beast that is my brother and, even more impressive, you’ve got Mimi’s approval. You’re stuck.”
“I’m not a raging beast and I certainly didn’t need to be tamed.” Sebastian’s baritone voice coming down the hall behind me made me jump slightly. He smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pressing his lips first to my forehead then on Mimi’s crown. “Siobhan is right about winning over Mimi, though. She doesn’t like sharing.”
Siobhan lifted onto her tiptoes and kissed her brother on the cheek, just as she’d done to me, and an unexpected warmth coursed through my veins. Her unquestioning acceptance of me into their lives and their home was like priceless gold filling in the long-stagnant cracks in my heart. There hadn’t been a big moment or intense discussion. Over the weeks I’d been coming here, the bond had simply grown and I was even more simply accepted.
At least, the part of me they saw. The small amount I’d shared.
“Go give your boyfriend the good news, and I’ll review the contracts and let you know if I find anything.” With that exceptionally intriguing statement, she turned on the heel of her dark brown suede boot and walked out of the front door.
A litany of French quietly escaped Sebastian’s mouth, so quiet I could barely hear it. Although frustration etched itself in the lines that formed between his brows and the tight set of his lips, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Do I even want to ask for a translation?” Mimi worked her way up higher on my chest until her tiny head was buried in the crook of my neck. The only creature in this house that could possibly be more endearing than the grumpy blond in front of me was the tiny ball of fur curled close.
He rolled his eyes and led me toward the music room. “No, although teaching you French would be fun.” Even a completely benign conversation like this managed to carry seductive undertones and delightfully enticing innuendos. “But my sister has always managed to ruin my surprises since we were kids.”
I laughed and took a seat in the corner of the incredibly uncomfortable couch Sebastian had once told me his sister had chosen for ‘aesthetic purposes’. Mimi gave a small huff in my arms as I adjusted her slightly before she snuggled in again. “She didn’t ruin anything, but now you have to tell me, because I am very intrigued.”
Sebastian threw me a wicked smile that sent an arrow straight to my groin and made me shift on my seat, much to Mimi’s displeasure. “Is that so, chiot?”
I licked my suddenly dry lips and nodded. “Y-yes.”
He arched a single eyebrow and dipped his chin as he took a seat a few feet away on the piano bench. “Yes?”
A shiver of anticipation wormed its way up my spine. “Yes, Sir.”
“How badly do you want to know what Siobhan was talking about?” His voice managed to lower an octave when he shifted from normal talking to whatever delicious and sadistic turn he was taking into a much more playful role.
My entire body trembled with excitement, to the point that the small dog got completely fed up with my inability to be her perfect pillow and promptly jumped from my arms to the couch then to the floor. I could have sworn she flicked her tail at me like it was a middle finger. Since he hadn’t given me the slightest indication as to what this mystery was, I couldn’t possibly decide whether or not it was even something I’d care about, but at this stage, it could very well be the grocery list and I’d be salivating to find out more.
“Very badly…” I paused and he pinned me with a meaningful stare. “Very badly, Sir.” Every use of the term of respect cemented my inevitable demise. It was more than my heart that was falling for him. The core of who I was, the identity I’d found and embraced as a submissive, the fractured version of myself that I’d become mostly comfortable with… That was the part of me I wasn’t so sure would recover when Sebastian learned about the deeper scars I still carried that impacted how I lived my life.
Sebastian hummed and the dark path my thoughts had begun to trail down evaporated at the sound. “A curious little chiot can be fun.”
My whimper dissolved into a groan when he rose and crossed the few feet between us. He sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap so I straddled his thighs. He ran both his hands under my shirt, caressing my stomach, my sides, my back. He pressed his fingers into my upper spine until I lowered my head, but just before our lips met, he arched his neck, lifting his mouth away from mine.
“It is something very special.” He grazed the briefest of kisses along my jaw. “A very important celebration for something we’ve both worked very hard on.”
A dense fog of lust blanketed my brain and the only thing I cared about working on was the man I was grinding my dick against. “A celebration?” I repeated the words, only barely registering them as I spoke.
He dropped his hands to cup my ass and rock my hips forward. “Yes, chiot, and as much as I’d like to make you wonder—and I damn sure would love to hear you beg—I’m far too excited to hold this back.”
Need and desire had driven me past the point where I cared about anything other than how fast I could sweet-talk Sebastian into fucking me. I gripped the back of his neck and rubbed my still sadly clothed cock into his. “Excited about what?”
Pride radiated from his face as he beamed the brightest smile up at me that I’d ever seen. An expression that wiped all the bullshit I’d been trying to feed myself clean from my consciousness until the reality lay bare before me. I’d crossed the line I’d found myself toeing for several days now and I was madly in love with the man in front of me.
“My manager booked us to debut at the LA Opera House. Have you ever been? It’s a gorgeous building with excellent acoustics. La Restauration d'un Homme will sound stunning there.” He dug his nails lightly into my back. “And, of course you’ll go with me. He’s arranged for a limo to collect us from the airport and a luxury suite at the Biltmore Hotel. By the gods, chiot, I can’t wait to find ways to play with you in the car—”
Every atom of my being stilled as soon as he mentioned the word ‘car’. Ice replaced the fire that had just been coursing through my veins. I scrambled out of his embrace and to my feet. “No!”
The flush of desire that had colored his cheeks faded nearly immediately with the single word.
“What do you mean ‘no’?”
Electricity zapped through me, sparking along my muscles and tendons, silently compelling me to run the fuck away. The words I needed to speak the most lodged themselves in the back of my throat. How could I possibly explain to Sebastian Chevalier—a fucking living legend—that despite years of therapy and innumerable attempts at overcoming it, I hadn’t been able to set a foot inside a vehicle in a decade? That I had turned down several accompanist opportunities, specifically at the LA Opera House, because there was no tram or train from the airport? That flying was enough of a struggle, but riding in a car was a fucking impossibility?
Suspicion reflected back at me in his eyes as he stood and closed the space I’d created between us. He lifted a hand but then dropped it back down to his side. “Jasper, just breathe. Talk to me. What’s wrong with going to LA?”
His voice was lost in a cacophony of splintering glass and tearing metal as the memories, more vivid than they’d been in a long time, took hold of me. Tremors that could rival an earthquake vibrated through my body and unbidden tears streaked down my cheeks. I was heading into a full-blown panic attack from his simple suggestion to ride in a limo. How could I ever believe myself worthy of him when I suffocated under the weight of nightmares and mental scars so deep they created…this?
I moved my mouth, but no sounds came out. I finally just shook my head and turned to leave. The delusions I’d forced myself to believe shattered around me and the ugly truth of reality glared brightly back at me. I made my feet move, propelling me out of the front door, stopping only long enough to grab the handle of Phoebe’s case.
There wasn’t a chance in hell Sebastian Chevalier could be anything more in my life than a bright, brilliant memory I’d cherish.
