Running from...: A Blackrock Wolf Pack Novel, page 14
They were exquisite. Carnations, roses, lilies, baby’s breath; all of my favorite flowers. Plucking out the card, it read:
‘I hope you get well soon’
As simple as that. There was no name, nothing else. Perhaps they were from one of the girls? I sent off a quick text to Ana to find out. The bouquet was beautiful, and I wanted to thank whoever had sent them.
After cutting them and arranging them in a vase as best I could, I put them in the living room, in front of the large picture window. As soon as I sat down to take the weight off my feet, knocking started up on the door once again. Groaning, I pushed to my feet once more. Opening it up, it was the same delivery guy as before.
“You’re popular,” he smiled. “If I had known that they were both for you, I would have dropped them off at the same time.”
“Oh, wow, thank you.” I took the second bunch of flowers from him and walked back into the living room in a bit of a daze.
I had received flowers before, but they were usually when I left a job or passed an exam or something. This wasn’t something I had expected.
Moving back into the kitchen, I looked at the luscious bouquet, and a lump formed in my throat. This time it was a bunch of tulips in a myriad of colors. They were my mother’s favorite flowers and something my father bought her every single week when they were in bloom.
Memories flooded back. My childhood had been a happy one, with loving parents and a multitude of fond moments. When I got older, things hadn’t been as smooth, but I wouldn’t let those times ruin the memories of my childhood.
But I didn’t think these flowers were in bloom at this time of year? I had no idea how they did it. They were stunning.
I had no idea who knew how much I loved these flowers and how much they meant to me. Plucking the card from the ribbon, I gasped when I read the note;
‘Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady. We’ll be together again soon.
R x’
There was only one person who could have written such a thing.
Rob.
Crumpling to the floor, it felt like my world had come crashing down around me. I thought that he had finally moved on, that he would leave me alone. I had a whole new life here, so far removed from where we had been.
This wasn’t funny. It wasn’t fair. I was happy, and content. The last thing I needed was Rob to come back into my life and turn it into a tailspin. All this time, I had hoped that I was wrong. I hoped that all the strange little gifts had been from Damon, or that I’d even gotten myself a stalker. A psychopath who follows me around would have been preferable to Rob refusing to let me go.
It wasn’t like I had been hiding, after all, I did not think I needed to. It was over and done with. Honestly, I had been hoping that the fact that there had been no contact between us would have given him the message. That, coupled with the message that had been sent via our Alpha, should have been enough. More than enough.
Why was he doing this? We were over a long time ago. He knew that there was no coming back from the last time. He knew that it was the end. We argued, and I ended up in the hospital. That was about as final as it got for me.
Frozen, I couldn’t move, but that didn’t stop the whirl of activity in my mind. Memories of what he had done to me, the things that he had said, the things that I had to endure. My mind spun like a tornado.
Someone violently shaking my shoulders wrenched me out of my depressing and desperate thoughts and I let out an ear-piercing scream.
“It’s me, Ellis. Calm down, it’s only me,” Connie crooned, soothingly.
Calm down? Was she mental? That was easier said than done. My emotions were out of control and I could feel myself panting in terror. This was my nightmare coming true.
“For the love of God, talk to me, Ellis. What the hell happened here? What can I do to help?”
Gulping in a refreshing breath, I tried to calm down as she suggested. I tried to slow down my breathing, concentrating on the in and out to ward off the panic attack that was threatening to consume me. It would do me no good at all to lose control now. This was the time when I had to be in full control of my life.
“Here, drink this.” She thrust an ice-cold glass of water into my hands.
“I’m okay now,” I panted.
“Bullshit,” Connie snapped. “What can I do for you?”
“Can you help me get up?” I felt a little pathetic, asking an elderly lady to help me up off the floor, but I didn’t quite trust my legs to hold me up.
She crouched down next to me. “Sure, sure, come on. Let’s get you up.” She braced me under the arms and helped me to steady my legs, gently steering me over to the dining table.
“Can I get you anything else? Something stronger?”
“Some more water would be great.” All of a sudden, my throat felt like I had swallowed a bucketful of sand and the first glass of cool liquid hadn’t touched the sides.
“Coming right up.” Connie bustled around the kitchen, clearly happy to have found a way to help me.
Falling apart wouldn’t help me now. I had to be stronger than that. It wouldn’t be fair to leave Connie to pick up the pieces and I wouldn’t give Rob the satisfaction of breaking me once again. I wouldn’t let him.
As soon as she put the glass down in front of me, I heard the ice clinking in the glass and took another cooling sip.
“Better?”
I nodded and gave her a small smile. “Thanks.”
“Don’t even mention it. I’m just glad that I came over when I did. Did you know you left your front door open?”
Shaking my head, I said, “I didn’t even realize.”
“Ellis, dear. Can I ask what happened? What got you in that state?” Her voice was laced with concern for me.
“It’s silly, really.”
“It is not silly. If something affected you as deeply as this, then it must be something important.”
I took a deep breath. “Someone sent me some flowers.”
“I take it that they are from someone you don’t want them to be?”
“You could say that.” I looked down at the floor.
“That bloody Damon! I’m going to throttle him,” Connie growled.
I started to chuckle. Then I erupted into a full-on laughing fit. Tears were rolling down my face, my stomach and cheeks ached, and Connie stared at me as if I had completely lost the plot.
She waited for me to calm down and I spluttered, “It wasn’t Damon. It was never Damon. He didn’t do any of it.”
“So, who were they from? Who’s been doing this?”
“Rob.”
“Rob? You’re going to have to give me more to go on that just that if I’m going to be able to help you.”
Taking a deep breath and calming myself down completely, I knew that I was going to have to tell her it all. “Rob is my ex. He’s one of the main reasons I left the city.”
Connie sat down in the chair next to me, waiting for me to get it off my chest. It wasn’t going to be easy, but Connie was the perfect person to confide in. She may be a bit of a batty old lady, but I had never met anyone more compassionate and loving, and she had strong shoulders to weather my worries.
“We were happy enough in the beginning. Isn’t that always the way, though? I didn’t know what he was really like until ages after we moved in together. He was always so loving and satisfied with what we had. He was everything I had been looking for in a man.”
She did not comment as I sipped at my water. “You see, my parents had been happily married forever, they were genuinely happy. They were so in love; you know the type of older couples that you see out for a stroll and they holding hands and totally content with one another? That was what they were like. They remained so in love and that was all I ever wanted. All my life, I had been looking for what my parents had, and I thought I found that special thing in Rob. How wrong was I?”
“Keep going,” Connie whispered as she patted me on the knee, giving me the comfort and strength I needed to carry on.
“The first time he hit me, we had just got back from some work function. He accused me of flirting with his Alpha. It was absurd, really, but now I knew that he would have found any old excuse.”
Connie’s sharp intake of breath told me that she hadn’t been expecting that turn of events. Why would she? It wasn’t like I had ever really mentioned him or given any indication that I was running from my past.
“He wasn’t always like that. Rob could still be loving and attentive and when he was like that, I could fool myself into believing that he had turned over a new leaf. I believed that we could be happy and that he had turned a corner with his anger, but each time I was proven wrong.”
“Oh, Ellis,” Connie muttered, not loud enough to interrupt my train of thought.
“I didn’t even realize at the time what was happening. You don’t know when you’re in it. I was walking on eggshells all the time, doing everything in my power to make him happy. I did everything I could, but it was never good enough.” Shaking my head, I laughed ruefully. “He cut me off from everyone who could have helped me. I thought that if I gave him everything, it would be enough, but now I know better. It wasn’t that he wanted my full attention, he just didn’t want to share me with anyone else.”
“None of that is your fault, you have to know that,” Connie said with tears in her eyes.
“It took me a while, but there are still days when I think I could have been stronger, that I could have got out earlier.”
“You can’t think like that, Ellis.”
“But isn’t that what other people think? That staying in an abusive relationship is weak?”
“Not at all.” Connie’s voice rose in anger. “Unless you have been in that situation, you cannot comment on it. The amount of strength it took for you to break away is superhuman. You should never feel ashamed. You should feel immeasurable pride that you made it out at all.”
It sounded to me like Connie was speaking from experience, but she didn’t offer up any further information, so I didn’t press her.
“So, how did you manage it in the end?”
“Well, I can’t even remember what set him off that last time. There probably wasn’t even a valid reason. But it was the worst time. He beat me so badly that my neighbors called the police. They thought that he was trying to kill me. He might have been, I don’t know for sure.” I closed my eyes for a moment. “He was arrested, but they didn’t press charges.”
“What? No charges? You have got to be kidding!”
I smiled ruefully. “It doesn’t matter to me anymore. He had so many connections that they were able to say that there was insufficient evidence.”
“How could they say that? It makes no sense.”
“It made no sense to me, either. I was in the hospital, beaten black and blue, but they could not pin it on him. He has friends in high places and an iron cast alibi.”
“What? You have got to be kidding me!”
“I know.” I shook my head.
“How ridiculous!”
“But I got out. Actually, my boss helped me get out. So, the rest doesn’t even matter.”
“You should get justice for what he did to you,” Connie said, adamantly.
“But I won’t. The best I can do is live my life without him.”
“And be happy.”
“Exactly.” I nodded, happy she knew where I was coming from.
“What an asshole.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” I sat back, surprisingly thankful that I had managed to get it off my chest. It wasn’t it all, but it was the general gist of things and at least Connie knew what I was battling.
She sat up in her chair and said determinedly, “You are here now, living that new life you wanted, and he has no say in it. Stuff him, and stuff his flowers.” Then she narrowed her eyes at me, “What aren’t you telling me?”
I thought I had got enough off my chest for one day, but she wouldn’t be satisfied until I told her everything.
“There’s more.”
“I assumed that there would be. What did he do?”
“When I was unconscious in the hospital, my parents died in a car crash. I couldn’t even go to their funeral.”
“Oh, Ellis. I am so sorry.”
“I hadn’t spoken to them for more than a year before they died. I did it for their safety and peace of mind, or so I thought at the time. It was a mixture of shame and Rob doing everything he could to keep me from them. But then they died, and I couldn’t make it right with them.”
“I’m sure they would understand.”
“I’m not so sure.” I shrugged. “They were my parents. Nothing should have been able to keep me from them. Now, it’s too late.”
Connie put an arm around my shoulder and hugged me tightly. “From all you’ve ever said about them, I’m sure that they wouldn’t have blamed you. You can’t think that. If you do that, you let him win.”
“But he’s found me, Connie. All this time, we thought it was Damon playing a childish trick when all along it was him. He knew from the moment I moved here. He’s known the whole time.”
“I’ve said some bad things about that Damon.” She grinned at me and didn’t look the least like she cared or regretted her words. “He’s an ass, but…”
“But he didn’t do this. It was Rob. He’s found me. I didn’t think I would ever hear from him again.”
“You were being optimistic. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Connie squeezed my shoulder one more time. “Okay, we need to get practical.”
I nodded. “No more wallowing.”
“You were not wallowing.” She chided, pointing her finger at me. “Showing your emotions and sharing your experiences is not a bloody weakness or wallowing. You are facing something you hoped would never happen, but now, we need to do something about it. We need to call Deacon.”
I knew that she was right, but I was feeling drained. “Could you do it for me? I don’t think I can just yet.”
“Of course, I can.” Connie stood up. “You stay here, I’ll go and make the call.” She walked into the living room and I could hear her murmuring on the phone, presumably to Deacon.
It should have felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, sharing the load with someone else, but my heart felt heavier than ever. I was the kind of person who bottled up my feelings, pushing all the bad things to the back of my mind and living in blissful ignorance of all the things that could destroy me.
They say that you should face your fears and problems head-on and that repressing your emotions would only lead to an emotional explosion of epic proportions. I had been coping just fine up until now, but I feared that a breakdown could be just around the corner.
Connie walked back into the kitchen. “Deacon’s on his way. I’ll put on the coffee maker contraption because I need a cup even if you don’t.”
“I would love one thanks.”
“Well, then, get off your ass and make us one. I’ve no idea how to work that thing. Why does it have to be so complicated? It’s a cup of coffee! It should be simple.”
Smiling at her, I was grateful that she had walked into my home uninvited. If she hadn’t pulled me out of that funk, who knows what kind of state I would have ended up in. Being busy, even just making us both a coffee, would help to keep my mind occupied. Connie knew what she was doing. “Thank you for being here.”
“No need to thank me. That’s what friends are for,” she replied in a no-nonsense tone as she bustled around my kitchen. “Is there anyone else you would like me to call for you? Ana? Rachel or Veronika?”
“No, no. Please don’t.” For a moment, panic rose in my chest once more at the thought of anyone else knowing or getting involved in my mess, but I pushed it back down.
“Then I won’t call them, it’s as simple as that. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
I set out three coffee mugs on the countertop and Connie began brewing the coffee, banging the machine a few times when she couldn’t work out which button did what. Pushing her aside, I took over, preferring my coffee maker to remain in one piece. From the glint in her eye, that had been her plan.
She may come across as a bit nutty sometimes, but she was extremely nurturing and the best kind of friend you could ever ask for. What I had told her was a lot to take in and keeping busy was the best way for her to process it. She was killing two birds with one stone – keeping busy and taking care of me at the same time.
“So, are we going to address the elephant in the room?”
“Huh?”
Connie rolled her eyes, “Or should I say, are we going to address the wolf in the room?”
My eyes widened. “You know?”
“I had an idea. I also don’t think you realized that you just mention your Alpha when you were talking about your ex.”
Oh crap. I was off my game today. I didn’t even register that it had slipped out.
“Don’t worry about any judgment from me or anyone else in Blackrock. We’re a rather eclectic group here and most are welcomed with open arms. Although, I do think it would have been a good idea to give Deacon a heads up when you arrived in town. He is the Alpha of the Blackrock pack.”
“I know. He knows, too.”
“He does?” she asked, surprised.
“Yep. You’re the only other person who knows, though, and I would like to keep it that way for the time being. At least until I’ve straightened out this mess with Rob.”
“You should tell the girls. I think they have their suspicions but are waiting to hear about it from you.”
Leaning back against the kitchen counter, I smiled sadly at her. “I will speak to them, I promise. Anyway, I think they have a few secrets of their own that they need to tell me unless you want to shed some light on that?”
Connie chuckled and shook her head, “It’s not mine to tell.”
A knock at the front door had her rushing out of the kitchen, thankful for the intrusion into our conversation. “I’ll get it - it’ll be Deacon.” She called as she rushed by me.
Putting some biscuits out on a plate, I made my way over to finish up the coffee. I could hear Connie and Deacon talking in low voices. She was probably filling him in on what I had told her and how I had been acting.
