Rescued by the Wolves, page 9
But Sterling is right, too. Two of us aren’t enough. We need the third person. We already tried it with just the two of us, and it backfired horribly. It’s not something any of us wants to redo. Silently, we all agree to go… like we have any choice in the matter.
It’s an unusually dark night, but we don’t need light for what we’re about to do. We function much better in the darkness in our wolf form anyway. But we can’t shift here.
Silently, we run into the woods, feeling the shift coming on. With every passing second, it is harder and harder to move as our inner organs move and readjust. Breathing becomes difficult. Heck, everything becomes difficult in those several minutes during the shift. All three of us stop at the same time, not very far away from the shack. We can only hope that tonight’s excursion will go unnoticed.
Both me and Axel want to ask Sterling how long he thinks we can keep up the pretense. In the beginning, when she arrived, it was easy to do so because she was no one. Just a girl we saved, which eventually should have been on her way out of here. But fate intervened and now she’s here with us. Indefinitely. I know we all want her to stay, but that is impossible until we come clean about everything.
A sharp pain in my lower abdomen brings me back to the present moment, and I bend down, falling to my knees. I prop myself against the ground, coughing violently.
Fuck.
I’ve done it so many times, and still, it hurts like hell. My vision is getting blurry. My fingers start to tremble, and I know the bones are readjusting. I just have to live through it. There is no other way.
Blood spurts to the side of me, but I don’t see it. I don’t notice. All I notice is that my insides are on fire, and not in a good way like they were a few hours ago. The thought of a sleeping Lottie soothes me. Back in the shack, she will still be there when we return, smiling with those big brown eyes. I make a mental note to talk to Sterling about telling her everything.
A moment later, and it’s done. Thinking about her helped ease the transition and I see that the guys are also done. Every part of me still aches. It’s still hard to breathe.
Sterling lifts his muzzle in the air, trying to catch the scent of any prey. He howls loudly at the glowing moon above us. His fur is rich, streaked with silver white sprouting along his back. I’m all black. Axel is the only one of us with thick, ginger red hairs.
My wolf energy surges through me, immeasurable as always. This is what it feels to be invincible. I know I should be more scared or even in awe while in my wolf form. Sterling always chastises me for not being humble enough. It’s not that I think humility is a bad thing. I just want to be proud of who I am, something that was taken away from me a long time ago.
Suddenly, Sterling bolts towards the western ridge of the woods. I was hoping we would be hunting in the clearings, and then once the job gets done, we might even get to have some fun while still in our wolf form. But the way he rushes towards the western ridge tells me that he has already picked up a scent. Judging from the way he’s running, it’s no rabbit either.
We’re running fast, much faster than usual. The trees and bushes around us are mere shadows of their former selves. I try to stay on track, not allowing different scents from around to distract me. Branches crackle underneath the heavy stomping of our paws. We jump over a small brook. There is moss, slippery leaves.
The road takes us upward, along the jagged rocks. Our feet are used to this terrain. I expect to hear another howl somewhere in the distance, but the woods are quiet. The smell I’ve caught is probably the one Sterling has been chasing all along. It’s a delicious scent. It tantalizes the senses, but I know it’s not for us. Ours is the hunt. The game. The ravaging will be done without our presence.
Finally, Sterling stops, and we all see her at the same time. She’s standing at the top of a small hill. She’s still a youngling, maybe not even two years old. I wonder what she’s doing out here on her own. My ears prick up as we focus our gazes on her, her long legs, fleshy thighs and a neck that will soon be broken.
We lay low, waiting for Sterling’s silent instructions. We are communicating telepathically, although in a very limited way, like a five-year-old would talk, without unnecessary explanations. You just get the basics. Right now, the basics are all we need.
We survey her surroundings, so that we can foresee where she would run off to in case we jump her and miss. Running after a deer, even in the darkness, can be tricky. She might know these woods better than we do, although at her still tender age I doubt it.
Watching her, a new sensation suddenly hits me. I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry that this little thing won’t get a chance to see another spring. But more importantly, I feel like I don’t want to do this any longer.
Sterling issues the instructions, and we ready ourselves. In only three seconds, we lunge at her, all three of us. I miss, and so does Axel, but Sterling’s got her by the back of the neck. I watch the eyes of the doe. She’s frightened to death. She knows what’s coming, and I almost push him off of her, but even if I did do that, it wouldn’t have made any difference. She would die. Only this way, she will die faster. He will make sure of it.
I hear the skin tearing up. The slithery sound of muscle giving way under sharp teeth. She twitches only a few more times, before her entire body relaxes, and she drops to the ground. Sterling is breathing heavily, his teeth bloody. I don’t know if he feels the same way. Maybe he does, but none of us says anything. This is something we have to do. The only question is how long and how many more times.
“We change…” I hear Sterling instruct.
This is the part I hate. We go through the grueling process once more, leaving us completely naked by this point. Sterling’s back glistening in the moonlight, the scars all too visible.
“OK now,” he sighs heavily, more heavily than ever before on such an errand. “The sooner we get this carcass where it needs to be, the sooner we can get back to the shack.”
And go back to sleep, with Lottie in the room next to us.
I’m not sure if that’s what he wanted to add, but that is surely what I wanted to add.
All three of us use our backs to carry the deer carcass, ready for any possible predator out there who thinks he might try to take it from us. It’s happened before, though not with any success for them. Tonight however, there are no takers. We reach the cave in what seems to be a small eternity and drop it to the ground.
We await Sterling’s further instructions, but none come. He’s just standing there. Usually, we would take it all the way inside the cave, and leave it there, making sure to lock the bars behind us. Never ever do we leave them unlocked. Although sometimes, they do tend to get unlocked, even without the key which is always safely in our hands.
“Aren’t we taking it inside?” Axel wonders first, and I appreciate his big mouth, as always.
Sterling sighs. Maybe he’s tired of always having to make this decision. The truth is that we all made it. We all vowed to do it. It’s not only him. So, it’s unfair to put all the blame, all the responsibility on his back.
All of a sudden, we hear something crackle in the nearby bushes. Our eyes dart in that direction. Axel stands by the carcass, knowing that if it’s a predator out to steal our game, it will lunge for it immediately. It will only attack us if we try to defend it.
Sterling and I are ready. We can’t shift one more time. It would be too much of a strain on our bodies, but we can put up a helluva fight. No bear or wolf would match the two of us, even in our human form.
Sterling inhales deeply. I do so, too.
I frown, confused. This is not the scent of a wild animal. In fact, it is not the scent of an animal at all.
Sterling and I exchange meaningful glances. Axel is still by the carcass, waiting for our next move. Sterling points at the bushes, urging me to go.
I look down at my bare feet. The ground is soft, moist. It will soak up the sound of my footsteps as I walk. I tiptoe slowly, creeping towards the bushes, my hands ready to snatch. The closer I get, the stronger the scent becomes, and a knot inside of my stomach threatens to transform my entire body into a knot. Still, I keep walking, knowing that I must go through with this until the end.
Finally, I reach the bushes. They are as dead as a graveyard now. No motion. No noise. Nothing. I wish I could just turn around and go back. I wish we could just get this shitty thing over with and go back to the shack, pretending like this never happened, just like we do every day of our lives for as long as I can remember now.
But we can’t do any of that. I reach into the bushes and feel a tuft of soft hair. I move past it, not wanting to pull it too hard, finding a shoulder, then the length of the upper arm. I try to be as gentle as possible, as I pull her out of the bushes. She jumps out, with a look of utter terror in her eyes. Those big brown eyes which only a few hours ago looked at us with such love and tenderness.
Chapter Fifteen
Axel
I watch as Morgan brings Lottie back to us. He still doesn’t let go of her even when she stops by the deer carcass and refuses to go any further. The look in her eyes is telling me that we’re in deep shit, and I doubt we’ll be getting out of it easily. If at all.
“Fuck!”
I hear Sterling shout, and I’m as shocked as Morgan. Sterling doesn’t curse, ever. The fact that he does it now makes me convinced that we’re in deep shit.
I look at Lottie, and all I can feel for her is an incredible amount of love, love that I know she won’t be able to return once we tell her our secret. Maybe if we told her before, because she asked so many times about the fucking cave, but having lied to her so many times, I doubt that she will believe a single word that comes out of any of our mouths this evening. And she would be right not to believe us. I wouldn’t believe us!
“Fucking hell,” Sterling repeats, as if for good measure, and the sound of him cursing is so new and strange that it almost makes me burst out laughing, but luckily, I manage to resist the temptation. The last thing I should be doing right now is laughing.
“So, is any of you going to try to explain what the hell is going on?” Lottie takes over and makes demands.
This is actually part of why I like her. The spirit that she has within herself, only she’s not always aware of it. She sees it as bravery, but it’s so much more. It’s inquisitiveness, it’s the ability to look fear straight in the eye and say fuck you. Not many can do that. She can, as she is doing right now, in the middle of the woods, surrounded by what could well be three psychopath wolf shifters about to kill her. To me, it sounds ridiculous, especially after everything that’s happened with us, but I’m sure to her that is a perfectly plausible scenario. Once again, she would be right to consider it.
Only then do I realize that Morgan is still holding her, only his fingers aren’t wrapped around her upper arm trying to subdue her. His hand has slinked down her arm and he tries to take her by the hand. I see she’s not yanking it away from him, but I doubt she is squeezing him back. Maybe it’s a good thing he’s holding onto her. She might run away, and in this pitch black, we might not be able to find her. She’s a clever thing. She just needs to wrap herself up in mud, and we wouldn’t be able to track her scent. It’s as simple as that.
“We would explain, only we’re afraid you’ll run away,” I shrug.
“So, nothing’s in the cave, huh?” she snorts.
Unbelievable. Even in a situation like this, she is still bold, spiteful and tries to regain control of the situation. You can’t but admire such a girl and pray to whichever god is out there that she might become your mate. Only now maybe she’ll want to revoke that. In Sterling’s words: fucking hell.
“There’s actually a perfectly plausible explanation for this, Lottie,” Morgan chimes in, and all I can do is rake both my hands through my hair in a nervous fit.
“I’ve heard them all,” she snarls, trying to pull away from him for the first time, but he is still keeping hold of her. “I like the endless maze the best.”
“There actually is a maze inside,” I reply. “Only, it’s not endless.”
“Shove it,” she growls. “I don’t wanna hear it. Whatever is going on here, I want no part in it. I just want to get as far away from you guys as possible!”
She yanks and tugs at her hand, but Morgan won’t let go. Not until Sterling lifts his hand at him and urges him to do so. The moment Morgan lets go of her, Lottie grabs her wrist with the fingers of her other hand, as if she’s been hurt. I doubt Morgan held her that tightly, but we really don’t want her to run away when she has no idea where she is or where she’s going.
“Let’s just go back to the shack, we’ll explain what you saw here, and I promise it’ll all make sense,” I say with as much common sense as I can muster.
I want Sterling to take over, but he doesn’t, and I’m struggling here. She doesn’t want to listen, and I can’t make her. How do I make her?
I inhale, trying to decipher the compounds of her sweat, of her scent. There is shock. There is fear. There is a lack of understanding. I don’t need to smell her to know any of that. Just one glance is more than enough. It also tells me that she will not return with us. Not in this condition. So, we need to be really careful with what we tell her.
“I am not going back with you even if my life depended on it!” she howls at us, taking a step back, and almost tripping over the carcass.
When she sees it, she presses her hand to her lips. For a shifter, you’d think she’d be used to the sight of dead animals, but obviously not. Someone must have loved her dearly to keep her safe from all the unpleasant sights and smells of the world, and she was lucky in that respect.
“You’re shocked, and I understand that,” I continue. “And, yet we did… uhm… embellish the truth a little, by hiding some things and telling you only what was convenient.”
“Oh, really now?” she snorts again.
“Yes, really,” I don’t pay attention to the tone of her voice. She’s hurt, and understandably so. “Just listen to what we have to say, back at the shack, and then, if you still want to leave, you can. No one will be keeping you hostage here.”
“I already told you, I’m not going back with you,” she shakes her head at me, her eyes filled with an emotion I can’t even describe, but I hate it all the same. I want it gone, yet I don’t know how when she won’t listen, the stubborn thing. “And I’m not interested in any of your excuses. You’ve lied to me so many times. What’s assuring me that this won’t be one more in a row of other lies?”
She’s got a point there. Luckily, I keep my opinion to myself.
“Well?” I turn to Sterling helplessly. “Aren’t you gonna say something?”
An owl hoots somewhere in the distance, as if it also wants to be a part of this horrible, tangled mess. I’d be happy to give it my spot. But my spot is mine alone to keep, as all three of us wait to see what Sterling will have to say.
“If she doesn’t want to listen to us, why make her?”
This isn’t something any of us expects to hear, not even Lottie herself. I see the shock in her eyes, and how she twitches at his words. Then, I see the change in her eyes. That loathsome feeling is gone. She wants him to convince her, to force her to listen to our explanation, but Sterling will never do that. He’s not the type. He will never beg for anyone’s attention, for anyone’s time. Those two things, according to him, are to be given freely. If she refuses to give them to us, then he will not force her to do anything, not even if that means allowing her to run away from us.
A part of me wants to grab him by the collar and shake some sense into him. Then, I think to myself. Maybe he’s right. In the aftershock that she is now, she will be deaf to the reason of our explanation. It won’t do any good even if we do tell her everything, every single detail that led to this horrible night. As always, Sterling has proven himself a good leader, who somehow, against all odds, knows what’s best for everyone involved.
“Yes, you can’t make me,” she confirms, but it’s a weak confirmation.
She is talking only so she can regain some seeming control of the situation, although there is no more control here. We all know that we could easily subdue her. We could just take her back to the shack and force her to listen. What good would that do us? It would only make the gaping hole between us even bigger. She would trust us even less.
“I am free to do whatever I want,” she reasserts, as if she’s been a prisoner here. I frown at her words, but I don’t say anything. “And I will exercise that right immediately.”
She takes another step back, behind the carcass. Then another.
“Please, think about this,” I urge her once more, despite all logic telling me that if she wants to go, then we should let her go.
The woods aren’t your friend, not even when you’ve been living in it your entire life. It’s an entity that cares solely about itself, and the individual is irrelevant. Lottie could get attacked. She could get hurt. I don’t even want to think about the worst possible scenario. Yet, I can’t make her stay by our side, no matter how much I’d like her to.
I see the look on Morgan’s face, and I know he feels the same way. Sterling is the one I can’t always read. He decided to lock up his emotions a long time ago, and even when he is talking to me and Morgan, it is difficult to get him to admit how he truly feels about something.
This time, I know he’s gotten close to Lottie, just like we all have. He doesn’t want her to go. I don’t know it for sure, but I sense it. I’ve known him all my life. He may not be my blood brother, but he is my brother in every other way someone could become your family. He is the only family I’ve ever known. He, Morgan and Mother. That is the whole reason why we agreed to do this, why we believe that it is our duty. If only Lottie would listen, she would understand. I’m sure of it.
She takes another step. I know she’s waiting to see if we will run after her. Every fiber in my being is telling me to go grab her and force her to stay. But I don’t. Instead, I watch her slowly disappear in the darkness, which engulfs her little body and makes her appear so small, so insignificant, while she is anything but. My entire body is twitching, urging me to act, to do anything.
