Bear Shifter Dating Agency, page 1
© Copyright 2021 by Lilly Wilder All rights reserved.
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Bear Shifter Dating Agency
By: Lilly Wilder
Table of Contents
Come Stalk Me!
Foreword
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
EPILOGUE
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CAROL HAS NEVER BEEN Able To Keep A Single Man... But Maybe She Can Keep Two Men
Carol Burton had always been unlucky in love and she had no idea what she was doing wrong. She may not have been for everyone, but surely there was somebody out there that wanted her for who she was and not what they wanted her to be.
Carol thought that her options were limited, but her friend Tammy put her on to a speed dating night. The pickings are slim until she meets Jesse Peters and his twin brother Jacob. She thinks that it’s a joke that they are here together and the looks that they have received have not been kind. They have tattoos, long hair and beards to match their...
Foreword
When it comes to surviving the frozen tundra, it pays to have a big protective partner. More than one, if you can get that lucky.
The problem with being a single mother to a bear shifter cub is that paranormal creatures are pretty much all you can date. I'm only human, eventually my daughter is going to need someone like her. It's cold at night, I've been alone since before she was born, and cuddling up with something big and furry is the best way to keep warm. So I signed up to a paranormal dating website.
All I want for Dahlia is to have someone she can look up to, someone like her. Seems that there are two contestants up for the job...and they might be willing to work together, to share.
And here I thought the dating scene as a single mother with a human kid was complicated.
Bear Shifter Dating Agency
CHAPTER ONE
WINTER CLEMSON
One year ago, I woke up with blood soaking my bed and a pain in my stomach unlike anything I'd felt before.
I lived in Arctic Alaska, in Nome, which was four thousand strong and almost impossible to get to except by dogsled or plane. We were not on the highway system here, and while the roads were relatively open and usable during the summer, I was not a confident enough driver to risk navigating the roads. It was the middle of the night and the pain was so excruciating that I could barely breathe.
I managed to get a hold of my phone and call my midwife. She was an older woman, short and round and always wearing at least three coats even inside, and she was aware of my...situation.
Oh, shit.
Objectively, yes, I knew that sleeping with a bear shifter would likely make a bear shifter baby. I even knew, from ultrasounds and scans, that I was carrying a bear shifter baby. I had conveniently, purely as a matter of survival, refused to dwell on what it would be like to give birth to a bear shifter baby.
I was about to get a heavy crash course.
"Hello?" Navi answered, sounding groggy and grumpy when she finally picked up the phone.
"She's coming," I gasped, holding a hand to my stomach as another tremor ran down my spine. I had gotten big enough that lying on my back was pretty much impossible, so I was arching and kicking helplessly on my side like a landed fish.
Navi was quiet for a moment, and then I heard rustling. "I'm on my way. Can you make it to the bathroom?"
"No," I replied, groaning again. I must have been having contractions for quite some time before waking up. My thighs were slick with blood and...my water, I guessed. Whatever that was actually made of. Tears sprung up in my eyes. Hysterically, the fact that I really had absolutely no idea what to expect or what I was doing, or what a 'water' was made of, made me laugh shakily into the phone.
"I'll be there soon," Navi promised. I could hear her shoving herself into her many coats and sliding on her winter boots. "Do you want me to stay on the phone?"
"Please." The sound was almost lost to a pathetic cry. I felt my body trying to bear down, trying to eject the thing that was causing it so much pain. I sobbed, holding my phone like a lifeline. I could hear Navi getting her keys, rushing to her truck, the engine rumbling to life with a chittering whir. It was so cold outside, I hoped she was going to make it here okay.
"Alright, Winter, I'm coming," she soothed. "Just hold on. Think happy thoughts."
I laughed shakily.
"Have you decided on a name?"
"No."
"Well, talk me through some," Navi suggested. I heard her tires hit the snow and skate, the heavy crunch of ice beneath the wheels as she shifted the tired old truck into low gear and started to make her way towards me. She didn't live far, no one lived far from anyone here. I tried to keep my breathing even and steady, though every new contraction brought with it such a terrible pain that I was certain I was losing my mind.
"It's not going to be something stupid," I finally managed. "I hate my name. 'Winter'. How unimaginative."
Navi laughed softly. "So I suppose 'Summer' and 'Autumn' aren't options either."
I groaned. "I hate you."
"What about your mother? What's her name?"
It took an alarming amount of time for me to remember. "Sarah," I said.
"Mm."
"I don’t want to name her after my mom," I added. Another contraction hit me, so powerfully that I screamed. I tilted the phone away so that Navi didn't get an earful and got a chunk of blankets between my teeth, biting down so hard that my jaw ached. "Jesus fuck, this hurts."
"Yeah, you're pushing out a kid, honey, it's going to hurt."
I shuddered, more tears falling. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Not even six months ago I was in a loving relationship with a bear shifter. His name was Tyler, I had met him a few months before when his clan were on their routine migration, and had stopped in Nome for some supplies. We'd hit it off, he'd promised he was going to stay, he promised that he would remain with me when his clan moved on.
But he hadn't. Maybe it was stupid of me to believe him.
I didn't know if he knew about our daughter. Part of me wanted to believe he didn't, but bears had a good sense for things like that and I had been showing when he left. I was certain he knew – maybe one of his other clanmates had told him. I didn't know, and I probably never would.
I wasn't supposed to be sobbing and terrified in the middle of the night while my midwife rushed over to me, feeling so cold and alone and like I was going to die. I was supposed to be held, soothed, cradled in strong arms and thick fur, protected while I eased our child into the world. Tyler should know he had a daughter. I didn't want my daughter growing up without a father, like I had.
"Stay with me, honey, I'm almost there," Navi said. Her voice floated to me as though from so far away. I whimpered and curled up over my gigantic stomach, clutching at it and pulling at my long nightgown. My skin was sensitive, and I was drenched with sweat, my clothes sticking to me uncomfortably.
I heard a creaking of a truck outside, and then my front door swung open. Navi's heavy boots thunked across the floor, and her silhouette appeared out of focus in the doorway. She came to me and took the phone from my hand. I screamed as she helped me upright and put an arm around my shoulders.
"I know," she said. "Easy does it."
Navi was a bear shifter too, that was the only way she could have possibly held my weight, as she forced me up from bed and into the bathroom. I didn't have a lot of luxuries in my little house in Nome, but one thing I did have was a gigantic bathtub. It was large enough to comfortably hold three people, and had a small seat at one side so that I could sit, which ended up being worth its weight in gold once I got pregnant and standing for long periods of time became impossible.
She sat me down on the seat and helped me peel my nightgown off over my head, dropping it to one side. There was so much blood on it, and probably blood in my bed too. It was going to be a nightmare to clean. My brain was trying to latch onto something that wasn't the terrible pain, and if I was in my right mind, I'd probably laugh at myself for trying.
"How far apart are the contractions?" Navi asked, as she knelt down and shoved the sleeves of her coats up, and started the water. It came out freezing, or at least it felt freezing to my feverish body. I hissed and curled
"I don't know," I replied, gripping my stomach as yet another pulse of pain swam through me. I had no idea how giving birth was meant to feel, but it was like I could physically feel my cervix opening up, the great pressure of the baby's skull making it open despite its protests. My hips ached, my chest hurt, everything hurt, Jesus Christ. "It feels like they're not stopping."
Navi nodded. "She's probably almost here, then," she said.
"Oh my God, I'm going to die," I groaned, watching another gush of blood drip down from between my legs and mix with the water. Navi plugged the hole once the water was warm and came to kneel by my side. She pushed my sweaty hair out of my face and let me hold her hand so tightly I was sure I would crush the bones of a normal person.
"You're not going to die," she said, in that same brisk manner she had when she was actually worried. That didn't help me or my racing heart any, and I felt panic coil itself around my spine like a snake as I realized that she was actually concerned. Shit, shit, what was wrong? What was going on?
"Deep breaths," she said. "I'm going to go get some ice chips and some towels, okay? I'll be right back."
"Don't leave me," I begged, but she was already standing, shedding her coats as she went to fetch the supplies. I whimpered, gritting my teeth and holding my stomach tightly, cursing my body and this baby and Tyler and his stupidly good dick to high heaven as I fought to stay conscious and breathe through the pain.
She returned what could have been moments, what could have been lifetimes later. The water was almost up to my knees now when she turned it off and took my hand again after setting the towels down and putting a cup of ice chips on the bathroom sink counter beside my head.
"I'm going to turn you, this will be easier on your hands and knees," she said. I shook my head, barely able to hear her, let alone understand or obey. But she was much stronger than me and able to focus better. I screamed as another contraction hit me, robbing my knees of strength so I landed hard on the bottom of the bathtub. I rested my forehead on the seat, thankfully out of the water so that I could breathe. The steam from the water and the grip of heat around my thighs and belly was making me dizzy.
"I'm going to throw up," I muttered.
Wordlessly, she set a bowl by my head. I grabbed onto it like a lifeline, my knuckles white around the ceramic. I might have broken it for how hard I was holding onto it. My body jerked, convulsing with another contraction.
It did feel easier in this position, or maybe I was in so much pain that literally anything felt better than it had the moment before. I heaved into the bowl, a few clumps of saliva and bile slipping free, making my nose wrinkle. Everything in my body was just trying to get out, I hated this feeling. This was the worst day of my life.
"You're doing so well, honey," Navi soothed, holding my hair back as I heaved again and sobbed when I was done, pressing my cheek to the cool surface of the bath seat. I spread my knees and bore down, gritting my teeth as I fought to just get this fucking thing out of me. "There we go. Another big push, that's it."
I sobbed, tears sticking to the surface of the bath with my blood and sweat. I could feel stuff leaking out of me and the water was turning red. My body was getting torn to shreds and there was nothing I could do about it.
It was like I could hear every inch of damage my daughter made as she was leaving. My hipbones popping and trying to realign as my cervix stretched around the baby's head, snapping like twigs. My ribs, trembling in place with a vibrating sound that rang in my ears. My screams and cries, mixing with Navi's attempts at soothing me with words and soft circles rubbed into the small of my back.
I just wanted it to stop. I wanted it to be over – all of it, not just my pregnancy, not just giving birth, but the whole ordeal that led up to it. I wanted to rewind to the previous year, when Tyler and I were happy, whiling away the short days and long nights cuddling in front of a fire, or taking drives out to see the stars, or doing whatever we wanted as long as it was entertaining and private. I liked being on my own, most of the time, but I also liked being on my own with someone.
I missed Tyler, I wished he hadn't left. I wished I hadn't gotten pregnant. I wished for a lot of things, in that moment.
Mostly, I wished for something to give. Either my body would give out and I'd pass out or just die, or the baby would come. One of us had to give up eventually, right, isn't that how life was brought into the world? A fight and a struggle and then a surrender, finally, before moving on to the next one.
"I can see her head, Winter!" Navi said, jarring me out of my nihilistic thoughts. I moaned, so exhausted, so tired and hungry and thirsty. She slipped an ice chip into my mouth, I crushed it between my teeth and screamed through them. "You're almost there, honey, almost there. One more big push, let's go!"
I put my arms above my head, gripping the edge of the bathtub, and pushed with every muscle I had. Tears fell, swirling with the bloody water, and I screamed and screamed as I felt my body opening itself up for my baby's head, so wide I felt like I was getting split in two.
Then, there was nothing. There was such a sudden absence of anything that I thought for sure that I had actually died.
I heard a heavy plop, and then Navi moved and scooped the baby out of the water. She was still tied to me, and I knew I would have a few more contractions until I passed everything else, but she was out.
Navi wrapped her in a towel and wiped her face clean. She was way too tiny to have caused that much pain, wriggling and groaning as though she, too, hadn't enjoyed that experience very much either. Then, she hiccupped, and started to cry.
My breath left me in a ragged gasp, my eyes widening when I heard the sound. I blinked, and blinked again, down at the dirty water. I straightened and sat back gingerly, hissing as I settled on my heels, and then carefully moved around so that I could sit at the bottom of the bathtub.
I looked over. There she was. My tiny, messy, wriggling little girl, her face scrunched up with distaste, her lungs taking in their first real breaths and letting out a tiny, mewling cry. My heart broke at the sound, my eyes filled with tears.
I held my arms out for her, wordlessly, and Navi passed her over with a smile.
"Shh," I whispered, pushing the tiny strands of hair back from her face. "Hey, hey there little bean. You're alright." I could barely speak, my voice was hoarse from screaming, I could hardly hold her for how exhausted I was.
But there she was. She was perfect.
Navi smiled, and handed me another smaller towel so I could wipe her face as she busied herself with cutting the cord, draining the water and replacing it with cleaner water for the afterbirth. I registered, absently, her getting up and stripping down my bed, adding the sheets with my nightgown to the laundry.
My daughter continued to cry, but it was almost silent, like she appreciated the fact that it was over just as much as I did. A few moments later, she blinked her eyes open and I got to see them for the first time.
She'd gotten Tyler's eyes. I knew babies tended to come out blue-eyed, but that particular shade was all him. He had eyes like deep water under a thin sheet of ice, a cavernous blue of wintertime stormy skies mixed with gray.
Mine weren't like that. Mine were almost dark enough to be considered black. I couldn't really tell given that there was so little hair on her head, but it looked lighter than mine was as well. Mine was the color of ravens and coal. Tyler's was lighter, wheat-colored, sandier.
She looked just like him, just as a squished potato version of him.
She peered up at me suspiciously. I didn't blame her, considering the circumstances of her birth. Then, her breath hitched and she wriggled her toes, and her eyes slipped closed. I closed my eyes as well, holding her close and burying a sob against the towel I wrapped around her head to keep her warm.
Navi returned when the washing machine was running, with a cup of actual water she gave me. I drank it all. She checked the bath and confirmed that my relentlessly aching body had finished up ejecting whatever it needed to, before she drained the water and took off the detachable shower head, helping me rinse the blood and sweat off of me.
