The Way Back (Emerald Bay #1), page 11
“You’re not lost, Elle. You’re just tired, and you’ve been through a lot lately. You’re separated, you’ve started a new job, you’ve moved back home. It’s been a busy few months. Give yourself a break, okay?”
“You’re right. I probably just need some sleep.” I grinned at her through the tears.
“Yes, you do – and some perspective.”
I frowned.
“You heard me.” Her smile was kind, but her words sliced through me. “I love you, but you can’t see the good things right in front of you. You’ve got amazing parents who take you in, do anything and everything they can for you. You’ve got three gorgeous children., amazing friends,” she winked, “and this house that’s full of potential …” She grimaced and laughed. I laughed with her as a sob escaped my tightening throat.
“And you’ve got Finn.”
I frowned again and shook my head. “I don’t have Finn. I’ve lost him. I should never have given him up all those years ago, but it’s too late now. He was perfect for me and I blew it. And now he’s broken and he doesn’t want anything to do with me.” I crossed my arms over my chest and a lump rose hard in my throat.
Her eyebrows arched. “Come on, Elle, you can’t be that blind.”
“What?”
“Finn doesn’t want anything to do with you? Please. He’s tortured by his feelings for you. Surely you can see that.” She set her juice box down on the counter beside her. “And you are an amazing, confident, capable woman. Why do you care what anyone else thinks or who people say you should be? Just be you. That’s more than enough, I promise you.” She rubbed her hand down my arm and then put it around my shoulders again, pulling me close for a warm hug.
I sobbed against her shoulder, my tears soaking her shirt.
“Do me a favour, okay?” she asked.
I nodded and reached for a tissue to blow my nose.
“Take a break from all the self-talk and just be for a while. Give yourself a chance. You’ve been through a lot – it’s time to just accept yourself. Don’t beat yourself up anymore. Mack’s not here. You can be whoever you are – even if who you are is a grumpy old spinster. And no one has any say in that but you. Okay?” She patted my back.
I nodded. “Be myself, huh?”
“Yeah. You don’t have to find yourself – you’re right here.” She poked me in the shoulder and laughed.
I chuckled. “When did you get so wise?”
“Oh, you know, I have this amazing friend …” Her eyes sparkled.
I threw my arms around her for one last embrace. Be myself. That’s what I was hoping for, hoping to find. But according to Hayley, I’d never lost myself. So why did it feel like I did?
She was right – I’d lost perspective. And it was time I got that back.
CHAPTER TWENTY
FINN
The shop was empty. It had been a busy morning, but afternoons were often quiet with everyone either at school, work, or watching their daytime soaps after lunch. I turned the sign around on the front door so anyone passing by could see that the shop was closed, and wandered out the back to my work shed.
I’d been feeling bad about not being in Emerald Bay when Dave and Hayley had the baby. I wished Dave had picked up the phone and called me. When I left town, it was with his blessing. He’d said that Hayley was fine, and that it’d be weeks before the baby would come. Not that he could have known. And I couldn’t have done anything. But just being there for them — that’s what friends were supposed to do.
I opened the door of the shed and fixed it back against the wall by pushing a rock up against the bottom of it. Walking inside, I threw back a sheet to reveal the cradle.
It was for them. Hayley and Dave.
I picked up a screw driver and popped open a tin of timber stain. I slowly circled the carved timber frame. Then I reached forward to dip a paint brush into the can of stain, and set about adding the final coat of stain to the timber with a flourish.
It had been a while since I’d carved anything. It was always a hobby of mine. I’d wanted to study art at uni but my parents had convinced me it wasn’t practical. And, at the time, I’d thought Elle and I were headed for the altar, so I’d chosen a practical degree — something that we could rely on for income after we were married.
I frowned. Things certainly hadn’t turned out the way I’d planned. Although, my work in advertising had given me a good income and enabled me to open this shop with our savings after Suzy was gone. So it hadn’t been a complete waste. In fact, now that I thought about it, I wouldn’t change any of the pathways of my past. They’d led me to this place, and I couldn’t bring myself to regret a single moment. If I regretted the pain I’d been living with, then that meant regretting Suzy, and there wasn’t any part of me that regretted having had her in my life, having loved her.
I stepped back again to study the cradle. I hoped Hayley and Dave would like it. It wasn’t as perfectly executed as the carvings I’d done in the past. I was out of practice. But the timber shone, and the lines of the cradle elegant and smooth. It was ready.
* * *
I stood awkwardly on Dave and Hayley’s front verandah and rang the doorbell. A curling vine hung beside me from the ceiling, its little white flowers giving off a strong, sweet scent.
I heard footsteps, then Hayley answered the door, swinging it wide open to grin at me, her amber curls piled high on her head.
“Finn! Hi, how are you?”
I felt my cheeks redden. “I was just…”
“Are you looking for Dave? He’s not here. He’s still down at the garage.” She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, seeming to sense my uncertainty.
“Oh, is he? Okay. Well, maybe I should come back later.” I pushed my hands against my hips, and shrugged my shoulders.
“If you like,” she said, watching my face with curiosity.
“Actually, I was just bringing you something. It’s a gift… a little something I made for you.”
I moved to one side to reveal the cradle standing on the timber floor behind me.
Hayley gasped, and one hand flew to her mouth. She stepped forward slowly, then lifted her other hand to caress the smooth surface of the statue.
“Finn, you made this? It’s beautiful.”
“I hope you like it. You don’t have to use it, if you already have something for him to sleep in. But I just wanted to make him a gift,” I said.
She sniffed, and turned to look up at me through red-rimmed eyes. “Finn, thank you.” Then she wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. “It’s perfect.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ELEANOR
Jack sent the ball high into the air with a flick of his wrist and grinned across the sand at me. I lifted a hand to my eyes to watch the ball’s descent and ran to catch it, just reaching it with an outstretched hand.
He laughed. “Good catch, Mum!” he shouted over the roar of the waves.
Stella and Pattie squatted at the water’s edge, digging their toes into the sand, looking for pippies. The small shellfish made for great bait. Dad stood beside them, the long line from his fishing rod drifting out through the waves against the shore into the calmer waters behind them. He wore long waders strapped over his shoulders, and his beard was rough with salt from the splash of the ocean.
I pitched the ball high and back to Jack. He leapt through the air and caught it with both hands. “Good one!” I cried. I watched Mum traipse toward the girls, her hands full of the shells she’d found. They exclaimed over her find and I turned back to catch the ball again.
We’d all wandered down to Main Beach after dinner. The sun was setting behind the town, sending shafts of orange and pink light across the water to shimmer on the peaks and troughs of the waves. The afternoon breeze had already died down and the water was tranquil, breaking lazily against the shore. Its rhythmic sound lulled me into a peaceful stupor.
“Let’s take a walk,” I shouted. I set off along the beach with everyone but Dad trailing after me, laughing, running and skipping through the sand. Mum fell in beside me and we walked in silence together, enjoying the beauty of the evening and the happy children.
Darkness fell slowly and we walked to the end of Main Beach. The headland that jutted out long and thin into the waves was littered with large rocks, black against the pale sand and piled high in front of us. The kids raced to the rocks and began climbing them, laughing and shouting, their voices carrying loud through the still air.
Mum and I reached the rocks and stopped. She sat down on one with a shiny surface. “Ready to go back?” she asked with a sigh.
“I think I’ll climb with the kids for a while,” I said.
“Okay. I’m going to sit here and catch my breath while I wait.” She smiled and tucked her windblown hair behind her ears. It was peppered with grey, and I suddenly realised how much older she’d gotten in the years I was away, the years I’d been holding my family together in Sydney. I’d missed so much time with my parents, robbed them of time with their grandchildren, and why? Mack. Mack wanted to leave the past behind and build a new life, a new identify for us. Regret pinched my heart.
I lifted a foot and pushed my way up onto a large rock, immediately finding a handhold on the next. Soon I was high up with the kids, leaping between foot holds, searching with my fingers for the next place to climb in the darkness. We finally reached the top of the headland and stood looking out over the long expanse of Chynderah Beach. It arched in a long curve as far as we could see. Main Beach lay behind us, and I glanced back to see the lights of Emerald Bay glittering at the far end. We’d have to head home soon – the kids had school tomorrow and it was getting late.
Jack had climbed down the other side and was doing backflips along the sand. Stella joined him, following along with cartwheels, and soon Pattie was there too, tucking her head into her chest and pushing herself forward to roll a crooked somersault in the sand. Watching them play so carelessly like that filled my heart with joy, and I watched and laughed.
Just then, Jack shouted and pointed down the beach. I followed the line of his arm with my eyes, straining to see anything in the darkness but shadowy outlines. Several long ones in the distance were barely visible in the poor light, and I blinked and rubbed my eyes with my fingers. There was no mistaking it – something was down there that wasn’t usually. Chynderah didn’t have boulders on the beach; it was known for its long stretch of pure white sand.
I clambered down the rocks. The children waited for me, anxious and unsure of what to do. “Let’s take a look,” I said brightly. We ran together toward the shapes.
As soon as I was close enough, my heart fell – I knew what they were. I heard the quick suck of air and smelled the fishy scent. We were surrounded by at least half a dozen dolphins and two humpback whales – they had beached themselves and lay stranded in front of us.
“Mum?” said Stella, despair in her voice.
“I know, darling. We have to get some help down here.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
FINN
“Dad, come on – it’s spinach,” Sarah whined. “I shouldn’t have to eat spinach. It’s not food, it’s grass!” She pouted and stuck out her bottom lip like she used to when she was three.
I almost smiled, but held back. “You have to take a bite. If you want to leave the rest of it after that, you can. But you have to at least eat one bite.” I tilted my head to the side and attempted a stern look. “Guess what I did today, girls?”
“What?” asked Sarah, pushing the spinach around her plate with her fork.
“The guys and I did our final exams – we’re now officially volunteer firefighters. Emerald Bay has its very own Volunteer Fire Brigade.” I smiled as a little rush of pride skipped through me. What had begun as only an idea six months earlier was now a reality. Not only was it great for the community, but I was having a lot of fun putting it together and managing the crew. I had a good feeling about it and was proud of what we’d achieved already in only a short time.
“That’s good, Dad. You’re gonna be amazing.” Sarah smiled at me, showcasing the new gap between her front teeth. A pang of nostalgia hit me – she was growing up so fast.
My cell phone rang. I stood up to get it from the countertop.
“No phone calls at dinner time,” Sylvia scolded, her eyebrows raised high in protest.
I glanced at the number. Dave. I couldn’t ignore it – there might be something going on with Hayley or the baby. “Sorry, Syl – I have to take this one. Just excuse me a moment, girls. I promise I won’t be long.”
Sylvia rolled her eyes dramatically.
I ignored it. “Hi, Dave. What’s up?”
His voice was soft and I could hear the wind whistling in the background. “Hey Finn, you’ve got to get down here to Chynderah Beach. Get the whole fire brigade down here, mate. We got a situation.”
I frowned. “What kind of situation?”
“Whales. Two humpbacks, beached.”
“What was that, Dave?” I shouted into the mouthpiece. “Did you say beached whales?”
“Yeah, and a whole pod of dolphins. Eleanor and I are down here doing what we can, but we could really use some help.”
A pod of whales and dolphins at Chynderah? I’d never helped with anything like that before. As far north as Emerald Bay was, we rarely saw beached whales. Humpbacks migrated through the shallows every year, north to feed and then south again to breed, but they never seemed to have any issues with the journey. Something must have gone wrong.
I hung up the phone and ran to find my jacket and keys. “Girls, we’ve got to go! Get your things together – I’m dropping you at Nanna and Pop’s.”
* * *
The parking lot at Chynderah Beach was jam packed with vehicles. I had to park on the side of the highway and walk down the long, winding track through the dunes. The beach was usually a haunt for a handful of surfers – most families and beachgoers frequented Main Beach. But tonight it was crowded. I could see the lights and hear the buzz of conversation long before I emerged through the hillocks and tussocks of patchy undergrowth covering the dunes.
I reached the beach and gasped. The whales were enormous, and dolphins lay stranded up and down the beach, caught on the sand in the low tide. The small waves dashed up the shoreline and sprayed the animals, but drew back again into the black ocean, leaving them heaving and heavy on the sand. Dave and a few fishermen were scurrying back and forth from vehicles in the parking lot to the creatures, carrying buckets, blankets, towels and sheets by the armful.
I ran down the beach to Dave, who had stopped momentarily to watch one of the whales. “Hey.”
“Finn, you made it. Did you call the rest of the crew?”
I took in the scene before me. “They’re on their way. What’s going on?”
“Eleanor’s over there, workin’ on the big fella. We’re doin’ what we can to keep them wet. We’ve been pullin’ dolphins back into the ocean, but some of them come back and beach themselves all over again. We’re a bit worried they’re gettin’ tired.”
“Okay, thanks.” I made my way to where Eleanor stood beside the larger of the humpbacks in the process of throwing wet towels onto its back. “Hi, Elle.”
She glanced at me and smiled. “Finn – thanks for coming. I could really use your help.”
“What would you like me to do?”
“There’s not much we can do for this guy, he’s just too big. Maybe when the tide comes in ... but we can definitely get those dolphins back out to sea.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I jogged over to the nearest dolphin and splashed water over its back with my foot. The animal lay on its side and I could see its blowhole down near the sand. The first thing to do was to right it or it wouldn’t be able to breathe once I got it further out in the water. I pushed firmly but gently until it lay on its stomach, then pulled it slowly back toward the ocean. It fought me but weakly, as though it were tiring.
Finally I got it into deeper water. The rolling waves came up to my chest at their crest, giving the dolphin plenty of room to swim. I let go and it tried to circle back toward the beach, so I stepped in front of it and carefully guided it back out toward the ocean. It got the idea and with a flick of the tail, it was gone. I smiled and my heart lifted. One down.
We worked tirelessly for the next three hours. More townsfolk, including some of the volunteer firefighters, joined us. We rescued all the dolphins, but the two humpbacks, both quite young, were still stranded, the bigger one further up the beach. We took turns keeping them wet and waiting for the tide to rise. Eleanor was in the centre of it all – giving instructions to everyone with a smile, and calming the creatures as best she could.
She amazed me. I’d never seen this side of her before. To me, she was Elle, the girl I’d fallen for in middle school, always dressed in a bikini or sun dress, the first to go surfing or sing a song on the beach beside a bonfire, her guitar on her knees. But watching her now, she was mature, professional, calm under pressure. Everyone was turning to her for advice and she gave it willingly and with grace. Impressive.
I knew she’d changed. You can’t fall in love, get married, have children, be abandoned, live life and not change. But seeing what the change had wrought in her made something inside of me shift. She was different. And so was I. So maybe everything else could be different too – things between us, for example. It didn’t have to end the way it did before. We’d both grown up, experienced life, love and loss. Maybe we could make it work.
Maybe. That one word opened up a whole new world of possibility.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ELEANOR
