Shower. I need a shower first. Everything else can come after.

  My reflection startles me when I flick the bathroom light switch on. My face is flushed, expression relaxed, but my hair is matted in a nest that defies gravity. I slowly comb it out while the water heats up. Each gentle tug brings my hair back to a manageable state and with it, my mind starts to dispel the floaty numbness.

  The shower is hot, and the water pounding against my skin gets my blood flowing again.

  I lather the body wash and massage it into my skin, remembering the blissful way Adrian had massaged me yesterday. I could really use some pampering now.

  Where is Adrian?

  My hands run over my middle and I stop, my breath sucking in with a hiccup. Adrian filled me with eggs. Does that mean I’m pregnant? Am I going to have a lake monster baby?

  I don’t panic. My palm presses my belly and I consider it.

  Is the idea of having children right now scary? Hell yeah. I don’t know when it wouldn’t be scary. But it’s not some random person’s kids, they’re Adrian’s.

  The lake monster I want to be with.

  I want to have Adrian’s kids. My shoulders fall and a small laugh escapes my mouth. I can work with this. We can work this out. I could do accounting remotely, maybe even work with Adrian. We can live in this cabin and experience the terrifying concept of parenthood together.

  The look of horror and panic on his face before he left finally penetrates my brain and leaves a hollow sensation like hurt. We should talk.

  I finish the shower and dry off, pulling on one of his shirts. The panic that had been absent up till now starts to edge in.

  Why hasn’t he come back yet? Maybe he’s making breakfast?

  I descend the stairs. “Adrian?”

  The cheery decor of the cabin stands pristine. The kitchen is empty, untouched from when we’d cleaned up from last night.

  Adrian is gone.

  I want to have Adrian’s kids… but does he want to have them with me?

  17

  Adrian

  I cut through the cold water, my body moving quickly as if I can truly outswim what I’ve just done to my mate, the violation of it. My muscles burn in exertion, but the pain is welcome.

  The ground rises from below me, the water becoming shallow. I burst to the surface, transitioning from breathing through my gills to the air above with a gasp. I stumble to shore, my mind full of static and panic. My webbed feet grip the silt beneath them even as the world tilts, my mind attempting to catch up.

  What have I done?

  A voice startles me from the panicked spiral of my thoughts.

  “Hello, neighbor.” Seamus raises a steaming mug to me. The dark green of his face stretches into a smile and the plantlike hair on his head flutters in the morning breeze.

  “Seamus—” My throat catches.

  Seamus frowns. “You smell newly mated, but you don’t look happy to be.”

  Under other circumstances, I’d be delighted to be truly mated. A mating only occurs for my kind when strong emotions are at play. It’s not binding and will fade should the individuals break up, but it’s still significant.

  It’s one more thing that I’ve ruined.

  “She’s carrying my egg,” I say.

  Seamus’s brows rise in surprise. “Congratulations.”

  I shake my head. I want to be joyous, but I can’t. “It was an accident.”

  My friend’s face becomes serious, and my senses shiver a warning of danger over my skin. Seamus is first and foremost a protector.

  “You forced her?” he asks.

  “Yes, no, I don’t know. She said to do it, but it was the heat of the moment,” I gasp, trying to keep from sobbing.

  Seamus’s shoulders relax. “And she doesn’t want your child?”

  A child. I don’t allow my mind to absorb that yet.

  “How could she?” I ask. “She’s human. We just met. She has a life in the city.”

  A life she’s already confessed to finding lonely. The insidious thought doesn’t make a dent in the guilt I’m swimming in.

  Seamus scoffs. “Did you ask? Humans can be more adaptable than the majority of magic folk.”

  “I—” I didn’t ask. I ran away and left an impregnated Amy alone in a cabin. What if she leaves? Would I ever be able to find her again?

  Seamus nods as if I’ve voiced any of my thoughts. “You have the potion I gave you that would make a witch, or a human in this case, able to carry your child. Calm yourself and speak to your mate about how she feels about all of this.”

  I swallow and nod, only slightly soothed by his even tone.

  The possibility of losing this opportunity for young is a stabbing grief. Without intervention, the egg placed inside her will dissolve away as if it had never been there. My instincts scream at the possibility.

  But my instincts won’t keep my mate by my side and happy.

  Amy is the one I should be talking to. Not Seamus.

  At the very least, I need to apologize. Though, I do not know how she’d find it in her heart to forgive me.

  The swim back to the cabin takes minutes, but I rush inside.

  “Amy?” I call out. My heart falls through my chest when there is no response.

  I race up the stairs. The air is humid from a shower, but the recessed bed is empty.

  “Amy!” I shout.

  I can’t lose her before I apologize before I confess my feelings. What if she falls ill or gets injured? What if I must wake every morning without her presence at my side? To know my mate is out there and not with me?

  The panic of that possibility constricts my throat. How quickly this woman has become my everything. I can’t imagine not having her in my life.

  There’s a distant sniffle and I freeze.

  It’s not too late. I dash down the stairs and out the front door.

  Relief cascades through me when I see her. She’s standing by the deck railing, one of my shirts brushing the tops of her thighs and her snow boots on her feet. She wipes a tear away. The sight of her red nose and misery holds my heart in a vise.

  Something crosses over her face, and she turns away like she’s going to run from me. No! The instinct screams at me and I grab hold of my mate, my arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her back to my front.

  “Don’t leave,” I say. “Please don’t leave. I know I crossed a line, but I need you.”

  Amy’s body against mine quiets the frantic mess of my emotions and brings solace. I run my lips over the crook of her neck and the scent of her is homecoming, the quiet of dawn before the sun truly rises.

  I shouldn’t be holding her like this, but I physically can’t let her go. She’s the other half of my heart.

  Amy hiccups and leans back into my chest, her body softening.

  “You left.” Her words sound hollow.

  I swallow. “I know. I was… overwhelmed.”

  Amy nods as if she’d already figured that.

  “I didn’t know if you’d come back or if you wanted me here when you came back,” she confesses.

  I hold her tighter against me.

  “You were going to leave me?” My voice wavers from the pain of that, but I can hardly blame her.

  She twists in my arms and glares at me, but I don’t release her. Her front presses to mine so I can see the blue of her eyes, the depth of the frustration there, the shiver from the lake water I’m saturating her borrowed shirt with.

  The chill doesn’t deter Amy’s glare. “I left my phone number on your counter.”

  The pain in my heart eases. She gave me what I needed to contact her. She didn’t intend to flee from my presence to never be seen again. It’s a gift that gives me hope.

  Amy shakes her head and gestures to the woods. “But then I realized that my clothes are ruined and I don’t know how to find my way back to where I parked and… I just don’t want to leave.”

  The tightness of my throat makes it hard to swallow.

  “I don’t want you to leave,” I say, my arms squeezing tighter around her. “I’m sorry for abandoning you after…” I struggle with the words to describe what occurred between us.

  Amy shrugs, but her lower lip trembles. “You needed a minute.”

  “I did. I—” My throat swells, making it hard to speak. “Please forgive me for…”

  “Getting me pregnant?” Impossibly, Amy’s lips quirk, but there’s wariness there.

  Am I sorry that she’s carrying my young?

  No, and that makes the guilt in my gut sharper. I take a different approach. “I’ll understand if you feel violated. It was an accident, and we already discussed your feelings about children from this heat.”

  “What about you?” she asks. “How do you feel about having children with me?”

  Amy’s voice cracks with the question.

  I try and keep myself from carrying Amy off into the cabin to make sure my mate will not leave me.

  I need to keep a level head. Somehow I force myself to take a step away, my arms falling away. I don’t want Amy to feel caged for any part of this conversation. The front of her shirt sticks wetly to her skin, and her lower lip trembles.

  “Can we talk inside?” I ask.

  It’s the wrong thing to say because more tears spill from her eyes.

  “I want children with you,” I rush to say. I take her hand, caressing my webbed thumb over her hand. “I want to fill you for the rest of our days, whether it results in young or not. But I want you as my mate more.”

  “You do?” she asks.

  “How can I not? You’re brave and funny. I’ve never felt about anyone how I feel about you.”

  The smile that breaks over her face chases away my worries, my fears, like shadows fleeing sunrise.

  Amy’s brow creases in worry. “You said the eggs—”

  “Egg,” I cut in. “It’s a single egg.”

  A precious opportunity that I’d thought forever lost. Amy’s hand comes over her stomach and my heart stutters.

  “Oh, well that is much more manageable than the litter I’d imagined,” she says.

  I bark a laugh. A litter. Amy imagined a litter and she isn’t throwing things at me and screaming in anger. Is it possible that she wants it as much as I do?

  “You said the egg wouldn’t be viable without a potion,” she says.

  “We have some time to decide about that. Come inside. It’s cold and I’ve gotten you all wet. As ravishing as you look in my shirt, you aren’t dressed for a walk in the woods.”

  Amy smiles. “I’m dressed for being chased down by a monster in the woods.”

  “Temptress,” I say without heat.

  Amy moves toward me and I can’t hold back. I draw her into my arms and kiss her. I groan as my mate kisses me back. This. This is what I need in my life. No matter what other decisions we make, I need my mate by my side.

  18

  Amy

  Adrian hums while he prepares breakfast. The action is domestic and calms the high emotions from the deck. Now that Adrian knows that I want to stay, some of the primal intensity from before has eased and he doesn’t even complain when I go change into something dry.

  When he catches sight of me in another one of his shirts, the membrane of his lids nictates in pleasure.

  I liked that primal intensity too much. It cuts through all the insecurities that rose in Adrian’s absence.

  I sit on a stool at the counter and watch the lake monster make French toast and bacon. Adrian plates me too much food but I dig in. I’m ravenous. I made sure that we stopped and ate throughout Adrian’s heat, but we still burned a lot of energy in the past couple of days.

  “How does being the mate of a lake monster work?” I ask.

  Adrian chokes on his toast and coughs.

  “What?” I ask, pointing at him. “You’ve called me your mate already. You can’t even blame your heat for that last time, and you don’t want me to leave. I don’t want to leave. So how do we become mates?”

  Adrian blushes. “We already are mates. Our scents have combined. It’s a natural process that can happen with my kind when both parties feel strongly.”

  My smile stretches my kiss-sore lips. “Well, that’s easy then.”

  “I’d like you to move here,” Adrian says shyly. “Will that be okay? I need to live next to a body of water and I have connections here—”

  I interrupt him. “I’d love to move in.”

  Adrian’s shoulders relax and he shakes his head with a huff. “You’re making this much easier than I thought it could be.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  Adrian shakes his head, his lips twitching. “No, not at all. It just makes my worries feel unfounded.”

  I reach across the island and thread my fingers with his. “I think that’s normal enough. This is all happening pretty quickly.”

  He frowns, worried again. “Do you need to go slower?”

  I snort. “I think that option has been taken out of our hands.”

  Adrian’s face is stricken. “I don’t want to take away any options for you.”

  “Let me be the one to worry about my options. You need to trust that I’ll voice my concerns if I have them.”

  Adrian’s dark eyes meet mine for a long moment before he nods.

  Speaking of concerns, there’s a heaviness to my belly that is new and makes me bite my lip in worry.

  “So about this egg…” I start.

  “Amy.” Adrian swallows. “I’m so sorry for violating—”

  I wave my hand, cutting off what I’m sure would be a very thorough apology.

  “I literally begged you for it.”

  “But that was in the heat of the moment. I should have resisted—”

  “Adrian,” I cut him off. “It was an accident. Accidents happen between couples. There’s no use feeling guilty about it, but you can always assuage that guilt with foot massages.”

  Adrian’s shoulders drop in relief at that.

  “I’m happy to give you all the foot massages.” Adrian’s tone becomes serious. “About the egg… I don’t want you to feel pressured to drink the potion.”

  I cough a laugh. “Remember what I said about being amenable? I wouldn’t take the potion unless I’m sure it’s what I want.”

  “I don’t want to rush you.” A line of worry creases Adrian’s brow. “There’s always the chance that I’ll have more heats.”

  “And there’s the chance you won’t,” I say gently. I let my hand drift to my belly and the way his eyes flare at the gesture says it all. “I want this, Adrian.”

  Adrian turns from me and retrieves something from a cupboard. When he turns around, he places a wax-stoppered vial in front of me that looks straight out of a fantasy movie. The glass is clear and a purple concoction swishes back and forth inside with the movement.

  “And this will make the pregnancy viable?” I ask.

  “It will become like a regular pregnancy, if a little further along.”

  I frown. “Like a human?”

  Adrian’s tone is careful. “The child will be like me.”

  He casts a glance over to the family portrait on the wall and I remember the mini-versions of nix. Our kid would have his big black eyes and be the next generation of lake monster.

  “Good,” I say and unstop the vial. “Cheers.”

  I down the contents, my heart racing. I expect the potion to taste gross but am delightfully surprised with the spicy herb flavor. I don’t recognize any of the ingredients, but that may be for the best. A tingle runs through my blood and I shiver.

  Adrian picks me up and takes me to the living room, arranging me on his lap and hugging me to him.

  “My brave, beautiful mate.” Adrian nuzzles his face into my hair.

  No other words in all my life have ever shot my emotions so high. It reminds me that I’ve skipped a few steps in our courtship.

  “I love you,” I croak.

  Adrian freezes and pulls back. A smile curving his lips as if he already knew about my feelings before I voiced them. Maybe he does. My actions leave little room for doubt.

  “I love you too, my impossibility.”

  Even though I expected the words, they create a bloom of happiness in my chest.

  “How do you feel?” Adrian asks. His hand hovers awkwardly over my stomach before he starts to pull it away.

  I make an annoyed sound and place his hand on my lower stomach, enjoying the warmth of it through my borrowed shirt.

  “I feel good.” The tingling is mild and pleasant. I lie back against him and hum. “Do you think that they’ll be lonely without siblings?”

  Adrian’s breath hitches. His joy and disbelief fill the air around us.

  He clears his throat. “I guess there need to be more kids around. I don’t think Seamus is looking for a mate though.”

  “But you do know a matchmaker.” My smile is mischievous.

  Adrian presses his cheek against mine. “That I do.”

  Epilogue

  Amy

  I breathe a sigh of relief as I type the words “The End” on my current book. Adrian had suggested I publish my original stories when I started getting restless after a few months together. There would be no more treks into unfamiliar woods to find another monster, mine is much too possessive for that, so I needed to find a different adventure to keep myself out of trouble.

  The world of self-publishing romance with monsters that look like monsters has been both so much harder and easier than I expected. It keeps me on my toes, and now I have quite the backlist built up and a hungry fan base.

  I roll away the stress tightening my neck and send the manuscript to my editor. With this book done, I’ve earned myself a vacation.

  And now to find my family. I walk out to the deck, knowing exactly where they are.

 

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