Katrina's Destiny, page 2
As Katrina was getting ready to carry a plate to his room, his door opened a crack to reveal half his face. One of his bright blue eyes peeked down the hallway. Katrina didn’t pay attention to him, and set her son’s plate down in front of his chair at the kitchen table. She began putting things back into the fridge and by the time she was finished she turned around to find Thorn sitting in his chair with his roast beef sandwich in his hands.
Before her five-year-old took his first bite, he looked up at Katrina with sad eyes and said, “I’m sorry, Mama. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
Katrina ran her fingers through her son’s jet-black hair, so much like her own, and said, “I know that you were upset and frustrated by everything that’s happened, but we will always have each other. I swear it. No matter what happens around us, we are family and I will always love you.” She kissed the top of his head before she told him, “Now eat up your sandwich and after you finish, we’ll go over to the park for a little while.”
Thorn smiled wide, and Katrina knew that the two of them would be fine.
Now, she had to figure out how to put her broken heart back together, if she could.
***
Marcus had been trudging through the forest for over two hours, but he still couldn’t get his head on straight. While Bain took his fucking time working his shit out, Marcus’s anger and frustration grew. Not that Marcus was necessarily angry with Bain, but at the situation and the part Marcus played in it. He’d allowed himself to dream, and now that dream was being torn away from him.
With few options Marcus was pretty much trapped. He’d sworn an oath that he refused to break, and even though he’d made it when he was young, he couldn’t back out. That’s how blood oaths worked. When a man gave his word, it must be honored, always, even if the person to whom the oath was sworn was long dead.
Originally, Marcus believed if Bain were a part of their family, Marcus could work around the oath and still be able to love and care for Katrina and Thorn. Now, he could see the error in his judgment. Perhaps he should have never even tried, with results like these to show for it. Now there was a rift between the three of them, and spending time away from his chosen family was the most painful thing he’d ever felt.
Instead of them being together, loving and taking care of one another, they were barely even talking. It had been two days since he’d spoken to Bain and one day to Katrina, and it was killing him. How one event could so drastically change their future was still hard for Marcus to wrap his head around. There had to be a way to resolve this. The emotions were real. There was no way to fake them. He and Bain loved Katrina and Thorn, and each other. Nevertheless, the realization that Bain was previously mated to a goddess threw a wrench the size of Canada into their plans. Marcus could only guess at what was going through Bain’s mind, having learned the truth about his past.
Marcus huffed out a deep, frustrated breath before turning around and pacing back in the opposite direction. He was deep in the forest hoping the silence, and being surrounded by nature, would bring more clarity to the situation. So far, all he had accomplished was a worn path about three miles long.
His wolf had decided to remain silent, choosing instead to sulk at the loss. All Marcus ever wanted was a family of his own, and now it was being torn away from him.
At first, when he’d brought Katrina to the castle after her mate’s death during a raid at the Omega Celebration, Marcus saw it as a duty to his best friend to care for his mate and their unborn child. Somewhere during the five years since Ewald’s death, Marcus had fallen in love with Katrina and Thorn, and couldn’t imagine his life without them. Even one day without them was driving him insane.
“That’s a good way to wear the soles off your boots,” a familiar feminine voice broke into his self-imposed isolation.
“Shit,” Marcus growled as he turned to face one of his pack leaders. “Alpha Lily, don’t sneak up on people. I could have attacked you by mistake.”
Lily took a few more steps forward and said, “I wasn’t sneaking. You were lost in your thoughts. Not exactly how I prefer to find one of my pack’s warriors.”
Marcus knew Lily was right and immediately apologized. Aside from being his amazing stepmother, she was one of the strong, amazing alphas of the Evergreen Pack.
“Don’t be sorry, tell me what’s going on.” The concern in her voice was evident and he knew her. Everyone’s needs supplanted her. She always wanted to help. Unfortunately, Marcus didn’t think anyone could.
“You have enough on your plate running this pack while you’re pregnant.” It had been a miracle and Marcus couldn’t wait to have another sibling. He’d never put undue stress on her.
“Well, your father can take over the heavy lifting for now, but you are important to me and the pack, so spill it.” Lily’s no-nonsense manner was expected; she never beat around the bush.
Marcus ran his fingers through his hair and pulled on the short ends. “This whole thing between Net and Bain has put a strain on our relationship with Katrina. I don’t know what to do or how to fix it.”
“I’ve often wondered why you didn’t simply mate with Katrina yourself, because it’s obvious to everyone how much you love her and her son,” Lily stated as she leaned back against the trunk of a large oak tree.
“It’s complicated.” Marcus wasn’t prepared to share all the details of their relationship, at least not yet. “But I do love them, and so does Bain.”
“I know the two of you do. I never doubted that for a minute. But the last time I saw Katrina, sorrow was pouring off her like water. She did her best to hide it in front of Thorn, but when she let her guard down she couldn’t hide how this is affecting her.”
“It’s better if I stay away from them for now,” Marcus stated.
“Better for you or for her?” Lily asked that without recrimination.
Lily’s question caught Marcus off guard. Was he being a coward? Was he causing Katrina more pain than this situation had wrought already? He’d thought staying away until things cooled off would be best. Had he been wrong? He couldn’t give Katrina what she truly wanted, what he truly wanted, but to withdraw from her completely….
“Everything’s a mess, and I honestly can’t tell you if I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the best I can right now.” That was the absolute truth.
“I know you are. When you’re ready to let me in on your reasoning, I’ll be there if you need a sounding board. Oh, and in case you weren’t aware, Katrina and Thorn are leaving this week to go visit Helena in Black Ridge. It seems they needed some time to themselves too.”
“Why is she going? Who’s taking her? Are the roads safe? What about ogre attack?” A steel band wrapped around Marcus’s chest, squeezing him tighter with every possible thing that could go wrong. No one could protect Katrina and Thorn better than he could.
Lily closed the distance between them and placed her small hand on Marcus’s arm. “Easy, my warrior, she will be safe. I’ve contacted Ceva and she will be traveling with them by teleportation, so there will be no risk.”
Marcus’s lungs stopped seizing. Ceva was a powerful white witch and a friend. She wouldn’t allow anything to happen to them. “Thank you.”
“I would never risk anyone in my pack, and Katrina is my friend. They’ll be gone for a week, plenty of time for you and Bain to work this shit out.” Lily’s quiet tone did nothing to hide that her statement had been an order. She reached around Marcus and gave him a hug before turning to leave. “If you need me, I’m always here for you.”
The forest’s hush returned with her departure and Marcus was left alone with his noisy internal monologue. Everything seemed to be coming apart at the seams, and no matter how hard he held on to the edges they kept getting farther and farther apart.
Chapter Two
Bain lay in bed staring up at the dark ceiling. He could feel the presence and had a good idea who it was even though she remained hidden. He didn’t know what type of game she was playing, but he wanted nothing to do with it. His life wasn’t a game.
“You might as well show yourself, I know you’re here,” he growled as he ripped the covers off his body
With a small gust of wind, she materialized on the other side of his bedroom. The Goddess Net, in all her glory.
“What do you want?” Bain wasn’t in the mood for this, or anything that required talking, reasoning, or any modicum of civility. He sat up and used the transfer bar above him to shift over into his wheelchair. There was no way in hell he was going to stay in bed with her here. She already had him at a disadvantage: she was whole. Plus it felt wrong to be alone with Net in his room.
“To talk with you.” Her expression said humor. She actually thought this was amusing. If he wasn’t pissed before, that would have sealed the deal. Gods were immortal. To them a shifter’s thousand-year life span was merely a blip in time.
“And what if I don’t wish to talk to you?” Bain asked, even though it made no difference. “You can’t keep showing up in my home.” This was the third time in as many days. She was not welcome and knew it.
Her golden eyes scanned the room before settling back on him. Bain sensed something different about her tonight, but chalked it up to her regaining her full form and having the curse removed. “You do not truly wish me to go. Is it guilt over the raven-haired woman?”
“Katrina has nothing to do with you. Really, truly, no lying, I would like you to leave.” His words hadn’t worked the first two nights so he doubted they would this time, but he gave it a shot anyway. Growling would probably make her bust out laughing.
Every part of her seemed to glow in a soft golden hue. Stunning in an otherworldly way, she did absolutely nothing for him. Not even a spark of interest, proving Fenrir had done his job well. Net laughed as if Bain had said something particularly funny, and had the temerity to sit down on the end of his bed. It felt like a betrayal to even have her in his bedroom, let alone on his bed.
“Be careful, Bain. Someday, I might take you seriously,” Net warned. As if.
“What do you want?” Bain asked again because he wasn’t in the mood to have another conversation, or deal with threats.
“Don’t you even feel the slightest affection toward me?” Net’s voice was almost a whisper, but with the exceptional hearing of his wolf, Bain could make out every word. The sadness lacing her voice was Bain’s undoing. He wasn’t a cruel man, but he hadn’t stopped to realize he wasn’t the only one suffering.
“I’m sorry, Net. I don’t want to hurt you, honestly, but I’m not going to lie to you or lead you on. That would be unfair and cruel. Other than confusion and anger over the fact that you didn’t appear to me for centuries when I came to the woods looking for answers about my past, no, I honestly don’t.”
Bain wasn’t sure if it was the rising sun reflecting upon her but Net’s eyes flashed to a darker color. However, before he had the chance to say anything further there was a knock on his front door, causing Net to vanish. Shit. There was no doubt in his mind that she’d be back. This had to stop.
He pulled on a shirt, rolled his chair to the front door and opened it, and was surprised to find Katrina standing on the other side. “Is everything okay?” If something happened while he was getting his shit together, he’d never forgive himself.
“It is. I didn’t want to leave without saying good-bye,” Katrina explained as she picked at the hem of her blouse. A nervous habit Bain had noticed when they’d first met.
“Leave? Where are you going?” Bain could feel his anxiety skyrocketing as his mind raced with scenarios. She was giving up on him. Who could blame her after the way he’d been acting, but now that he might be faced with that possibility, all he could feel was panic.
“Over to Black Ridge for a visit. Thorn and I should be back the beginning of next week.” Relief flooded him so completely he felt woozy. All the emotions he’d tried to tamp down while he figured things out came raging to the surface.
Though she hadn’t said a word, or made a move to come closer, he could sense her returning his love, but her sorrow was inescapable. His wolf came alive for the first time in days. This woman who he loved, he’d kept pushing away, and the woman he wanted to leave him alone wouldn’t. He was a practical man and didn’t engage in magical thinking, but if he could wave his hand and put everything to rights, it would be so much easier than trying to grapple with the rage, disappointment, fear, longing, and despondency surrounding the people caught up in this emotional miasma.,
“Won’t you come in?” he asked hoping she would visit for a few minutes before she left for Black Ridge.
She smiled and his heart began to beat faster. She could outshine a sunrise with that smile. She took a few steps forward, and as he rolled his chair out of the way to let her pass, suddenly, she stopped.
“Are you alone?” Katrina asked as she scented the air.
Bain’s heart sank. He knew he couldn’t lie to her. This wasn’t going to go over well. “Net dropped in for a visit a little before you arrived.”
He watched as the light left Katrina’s eyes and her smile evaporated. “I should go. Thorn will be waiting for me along with Ceva.”
“Ceva?” Though his heart was screaming for her to stay and allow him to explain, that was the only word that left his mouth. What’s wrong with me?
“She’s taking Thorn and me to the Black Ridge pack in the safest way possible, teleportation,” Katrina explained as she backed out of his house as if expecting something to jump her the moment she turned her back. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
“Katrina, wait…” he called, but Katrina’s lush figure was moving quickly down the path.
She didn’t turn back. He hadn’t expected her to. Having his former mate in his home while he’d kept his distance from Katrina was tantamount to a slap across her face, and felt like a knife tearing into his heart.
He slammed the front door shut before turning toward his bathroom. He needed to take a shower before heading to the pack house to talk to the alphas. One way or another, this had to stop.
***
Katrina didn’t bother looking back. Confusion and hurt were quickly turning into anger, and for once she allowed herself to feel it fully instead of burying it with excuses. Hot tears escaped but she quickly wiped them away. She was done with crying and done feeling worthless.
If the two men whom she’d offered her heart to didn’t want her, then so be it. She wasn’t about to wait around for whatever scraps of attention they were willing to give her. Knowing that Net had been in Bain’s home so early in the morning was the final straw.
It was high time she concentrated on herself and her son. If they were destined to be alone, that was fine. Who knew what the future held. She might find someone else to love. After Ewald died, she hadn’t thought it possible to love again. And here she was. Caught between the roiling emotions of two men who had disappointed her for the last time. She’d get over Marcus and Bain. Someday she might want to take another mate. Or not.
She took the stone pathway leading farthest away from the pack house. She refused to allow Thorn to see her pain. The walkway would take twenty minutes before it wound its way around back to the pack house, which should be enough time to pull herself together.
She couldn’t help but think back to the prior months, before the truth about Bain’s past was revealed. She and Thorn had been happy. Their new family had begun to take shape with the four of them, and Katrina could feel the love growing between them. Now, she was left sorting through the ruins of their relationship.
When Katrina and her former mate, Ewald, met, it had been orchestrated by both their parents. Arranged matings were still a viable option even in this day and age, and at the time Katrina had been young and believed their parents knew what was best for them. Unfortunately, they’d barely gotten to know one another and begin their lives together when Ewald was killed in battle. Over the past five years, Katrina had grown from a naïve young shifter into what she had thought was a strong woman.
But now she saw that she’d allowed herself to depend on others to define her self-worth. First, she was Ewald’s mate, and then Ewald’s widow and Thorn’s mother. When she became involved with Marcus, and later Bain, she’d focused on making those bonds stronger. Where was the real Katrina? She’d forfeited the little independent ground she’d gained after Ewald had died.
As she rounded the last bend in the trail leading up to the pack house, she decided that her priority had to be figuring out who she was, and what she wanted: what she wished to accomplish with her life. She needed to become a person Thorn could look up to and proudly say, “That’s my mom.”
She stepped out of the woods and into the lush courtyard in front of the pack house. Since the curse was over and the land had been healed, vegetation had exploded to life all over the Evergreen Pack lands. It was as if nature had been anxiously waiting to be let loose. Trees stood tall, with their large leaves shading the green grass beneath them. Flowers bloomed in a riot of colors, and clear, cool water filled the rivers and streams surrounding the land.
The pack was flourishing for the first time in centuries and excitement filled the air with the new possibilities. Unfortunately, she didn’t fully share in their excitement, but she plastered a smile on her face as she neared the group waiting for her return. Lily, Jensgar, Ceva, Thorn, and, of course, Marcus stood on the front deck. It brought back memories of the day when Lily had left her pack after Jensgar had refused her. In this case though, Katrina intended to come back after her holiday to begin building her new life.
“There you are. I was about to send out a search party,” Lily teased as Katrina drew closer. “Did you get everything done you needed to?”
