Reckless Covenant: a Second Chance Mafia Romance, page 25
I remember it like it was yesterday. No matter how hard I tried to forget the day I was forced to break up with her, it’s imprinted in my goddamn mind.
* * *
8 years ago
“You can’t make me do this.” We’ve been going back and forth for fifteen minutes, but it feels like hours.
“I can. I’m her father, and you—” He looks at me like I’m the purest of filth. The definition of it. “You have no business in her life. This proves it.” He shakes the folder in front of me.
“I’m not fucking leaving her! She’s the—”
“Silence!” Liam O’Rourke’s voice booms at a level I’ve never heard it before. “Is she worth your boy going to jail?”
I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. None fill my mind either. Yes, and no?
“You can’t fucking make me choose,” I seethe.
“I’m not making you choose, boy. I’m telling you that you have to break up with her, make her hate you, and convince her that there is no chance for you two to ever be together again. Otherwise, Maddox Severin is going to be arrested for murder. Tomorrow. This is not a choice. It’s this, or I’m going to ruin his goddamn life. Yours too.”
“You’ll pay for this.” The threat vibrates through my chest.
But the asshole smirks.
“Sure. How are you gonna make me pay?” Again, the man looks me up and down like I’m shit on his shoe. “You are no one. You’re nothing.”
“You don’t know me, old man.” I snatch the folder that contains the evidence against Maddox out of his hand and turn to leave. But I stop before the open door and look at him over my shoulder. “One day, she’ll find out about this, and the Morrigan you fear, will come for you. But when she does, I’ll be right there, her own fucking weapon to take you down. You will pay for this, O’Rourke.”
I let the door slam behind me as I walk out of his office and go to find my future ex-girlfriend. My first love.
And I fear she’ll be the last.
I watched her as much as I could all through the day. I went straight to her school, but I wasn’t going to break up with her there. I simply stood under the thick clouds that seemed to get more ominous by the hour and watched from under the bandstand. She couldn’t see me from her classroom windows even if she tried. But I was there. When I wasn’t watching the windows and main door to try to get a peek at her, I was flipping through the goddamn folder. Over and over again.
Then I followed her to her dance class. God, she was fucking stunning. The way she moved, how she glided, the way her hips swayed, and her arms undulated on the slow rhythm of the music, broke me every single time. She’s exquisite.
She’s fucking mine.
Only she won’t be mine for long… will she?
I’m so damn proud of her regardless. She never said the words to me, but I know she got kicked out from ballet because she didn’t fit their shitty body standards. I knew how much she loved dancing, so I found this class for her, and she fucking blossomed. It’s the only time her eyes sparkle almost the same as they do when they land on me. And I’m about to extinguish that light. Even as I stood like a creep across the street from the building, where the class was held, I tried my fucking hardest to find a solution to get Maddox out of the issue and keep her too.
When I saw Morrigan’s beautifully sad face as she came out of the class, looking around the street like she was waiting for something, I was close to running after her to confess the whole affair.
I stopped myself, though. She can never know that her father is holding Maddox, the man she’s grown so attached to, against us. She would never put his freedom before us, just like I wouldn’t. And telling her gives us too much strength. We would fail at staying away from each other, and Maddox would still end up in jail. Her father was fucking right; there is no choice. I can’t put on her this shattering guilt and conflict that’s ripping through me. She can’t have a choice.
Instead, I followed her to the beach, watching as she sat on the same large driftwood we went for each time we came here together. Again, she kept looking around, but she couldn’t see me in the shadows. When I realized that it was me she was looking for, waiting for me… I almost called Ronan, Finn’s brother, to see if he could help me with this fucking situation. But I couldn’t risk this information reaching Maddox. He would hate himself, and then he would sacrifice himself for her. For us. No one could help me. Our organization is not strong enough yet to take down O’Rourke.
But how was I supposed to do this? To break her? Break myself? How am I supposed to learn to live without her fucking smile, and forest-green eyes, when I barely just adjusted to the idea that she’s truly mine?
Fucking mine!
The sting in my palms from my nails digging into it was nothing, and I needed more. I needed punishment, even though this is no one’s fucking fault. I can’t blame Maddox either. The guy he killed actually died a week later from complications, and it wasn’t an instant death. But the injuries were caused by him. I wasn’t with him. He lost control and he still hasn’t told me why. All I know is that the man he killed was his uncle, his mother’s brother. I know enough about Maddox, his family, and his past, to trust that the beating was justified. It’s not even recent. It happened about a year ago, so how the fuck it just came to light now, I have no idea.
After more than half an hour of sitting on the beach, waiting in vain, even though I was right there, she left. I caught the worry in her features, the sadness, and if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she knew what was coming. And it was coming.
I got in the car and followed the taxi that took her home. Then I waited outside their huge property to make sure she got in. Only, I waited much longer than that… There was a speech inside my head that I kept repeating, over and over again, like there was any chance what I was about to do would get easier. Then I went through the speech I’m preparing for Maddox, because he knows what Morrigan is to me, and I know what she is to him.
The sun has long set now, and I can’t put it off any longer. If she’s truly been waiting for me to appear all day, then there’s only one place she will be right now—the library.
I don’t bother hiding my presence. Her asshole of a father is probably home, but I couldn’t give a shit. Normally, I would leave the car here, outside the bounds, and walk through the shadows of the garden to the other side of the house. Where the library is. Then I would sneak in through the window or one of the side doors. Not tonight. She won’t see me coming since the driveway is on the other side of the library.
I park the car and walk straight through the front door. It takes only a few seconds, and the angry presence of Liam O’Rourke casts its shadow on mine. He knows why I’m here. He’s not gonna kick me out now. It doesn’t stop the anger in his eyes, though. I take a deep breath, letting my disdain roll off me and straight into him, then turn to head to where I know Morrigan is.
There’s no noise beyond the door, and when I finally open it, all the lights are off. It’s complete silence. But she’s here.
I step in farther and gently close the door behind me, before I walk to stand next to the dark fireplace. She’s right here, lying on the sofa, sleeping all curled up with her hands clutched against her chest. The moon shines on her, and she looks so fucking peaceful, I don’t want to ruin it just yet. So I stand here, blending in the shadows, watching the beautiful creature before me, and go through the whole predicament all over again. Just in case there is anything I missed, any chance that all our hearts could be saved.
Truth is, I can’t wake her up because I need this. I need to take her in. Map out every line of her body, every curve, the softness of her skin, and the way her curls fall around her face. I need her for a little longer.
Maybe an hour passes, and I still haven’t found any solution. When Morrigan wakes up with a start, the decision is made for me.
She looks at me like I hung the fucking stars in the sky, then lit up the moon, and for the first time ever, I’m going to lie to her.
* * *
Present
The pain that followed, I still carry on my soul. There are many scars there, but this one is the deepest. The only one that will never be mended. Even if I have her back now.
“He—wait. What?” Morrigan slides up in bed, almost in a sitting position.
“You know very well how much the man didn’t want me with you back then. It turns out that a cop friend of his found something. A mistake. The one and only that caught the eyes of the law, back when we weren’t The Sanctum. Your father gave me a choice—either break up with you, or Madds goes to jail for the rest of his life.”
Her eyes go wide at those words, and she clutches the sheets by her sides.
“Countless times, I thought of telling you about this,” I continue, taking a breath, “but I knew that there was no way we would be able to stay away from each other. We would have fucked up. We would have ruined it all. Ruined Madds’ life.”
“Our love in exchange for his freedom…” She pulls her knees to her chest, and wraps her arms around them, as she turns her gaze toward the window.
A charged silence settles. Questions linger in the atmosphere, and for the first time in a very long time, I can’t anticipate what happens next. Her lips are parted as she swallows dry sobs, gasping softly for air, and her knuckles turn white from the tight grip around her legs.
She climbs out of bed once more, but this time, there’s no rage. She holds her stomach as she takes tentative steps closer to the window, her breathing quickening. Running my fingers through my hair nervously, I have to force myself not to go to her. Not to pull her into my arms. Not to guide her in the direction I want her in.
Fuck!
I can’t force her to believe me, and to accept this. But goddamnit, how much I want to. I want to grab her delicate jaw in my large palm, wrap her fiery hair around my fist, and bend her into understanding. Force her to accept everything I tell her with no questions asked.
Make her fucking want me.
Make her love me.
Make her fuck me and never leave.
But I’m no different from Holt if I do any of that.
Morrigan O’Rourke is mine. She always was. I spent all these years building an empire with a lost empress, and now she’s back.
The smart thing to do is to keep a safe distance, so she can take her throne by her own choice.
“Why now?” Her voice is smaller. “Why did you come back now?”
“The evidence is gone. The cop is under our control now. Madds is safe.”
“And my father? After all of this? All he’s done to Maddox, to us, you decide to go into business with him?”
“I told you, Holt has something I want, and him and your father are package deal. But your father’s time will come, and he will suffer the consequences of his actions. There was never any question about that. I’ve envisioned the moment too many times over the years. Even if you and I weren’t here right now, he would have still paid. If not for us, for Maddox.”
“When did the evidence go away?”
I sigh. “About six or seven months ago.”
In the reflection, I can see her eyes widening. She turns and looks over her shoulder for a few moments, before returning her gaze to the window.
“Six, seven months,” she whispers.
“Mhm,” I hum.
“My mother’s party.”
Slowly, I close the distance between us, and stand just behind her. I tower over her, but not by too much. Enough to see over her head, and watch our reflections in the window, through the dense forest and cloudless sky.
“There were rumors about what your father and Holt had planned. Rumors that they were sniffing around the docks. However, what they wanted couldn’t be done without the right connections. And The Sanctum has those connections. All we had to do was plant the seeds, and all of a sudden, all was forgotten by your dear father. Then we were invited to your mother’s birthday party.”
“Was it intentional? Your timing, I mean,” she asks, narrowing her eyes.
“Yes.” I don’t miss a beat. “It took me too long. The longest it has ever taken me to do a job. I didn’t care that you were spoken for. I needed to be around you. To see if there was still something there. And there was.”
She shakes her head but doesn’t turn. “I stabbed you. How would you possibly believe there was?”
“Little Eve, I knew I had a chance the moment you pierced my chest. It was that look in your eyes, not of remorse, but passion so dark I could see your hurt. And your love too. You wanted to sink that blade deeper, but you knew you would feel that pain as well.”
She rubs her right palm as I listen to her soft breathing. My fate is in those delicate hands of hers, and my blood pressure spikes. It’s all come to this moment, and I can’t bear the wait. The unknown.
“So what?” She finally speaks again. “If Ryan and I were in a different situation, you would have broken us up?”
“I would be a liar if I said that I wouldn’t have tried. I knew you were mine. I would have done my fucking best to make sure you knew that too. But, no. I wouldn’t have broken you up unless that was what you wanted. I’ve hurt you enough.”
“You broke me. You hold a power over me that I cannot understand. And I fucking hate it. I hate how deep you can reach inside my soul. How many layers you can peel away and leave me but a shadow. I hate how long it took me to feel that I’m alive again. I hate that I could never truly love again after you.”
She whips around, pins me with her gaze, and suddenly I feel as though I’m smaller. Weaker.
“I still hate you, because you’re the only one who saw exactly who I was, and you pushed me further into that darkness. Then you left. And there was no one else like you.”
“I never left.” I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to stay leveled as I watch her spiral.
Tears fill her eyes, the green in her irises so fucking vivid it’s like I’m lost in the forest outside of my window on a rainy afternoon.
“I had no choice, Morrigan. But I never actually left. I kept tabs on you as much as I could without arising suspicion. I knew how your life was going. How much smarter you were becoming. And how strong too. Through gritted teeth and a broken heart, I was forced to watch you meet others. And eventually, Holt. But I wanted to kill them all.”
I fucking wanted to rip them apart into tiny little pieces, then drop them on her doorstep to show her what happens to the men who touch her without my permission. I wanted to fuck her in a sea of their broken limbs and desecrate their goddamn remains with our ecstasy.
I still do. Only, Holt can fucking die whilst watching as she rides me on his future motherfucking grave.
CHAPTER 23
MORRIGAN
I DELIBERATELY HOLD MY BREATH and force myself not to blink through the tears I cannot seem to stop from flowing. Just in case I miss a clue, any sign that he’s lying to me.
Goddamnit… there’s none. But he’s The Serpent. Cunning in more ways than most would know or would recognize. What the hell makes me think that I would recognize betrayal on his features?
I give in and blink, pushing a steady stream of tears down my cheeks. My chest shakes, my hands are painful from the tenseness in my fists, and a deep pressure fills my head. Along with my own voice of reason.
You know you would have no trouble recognizing his deceit. You saw it the night he left you. You knew he was lying.
I fucking did. I did!
I don’t know if he allowed me to see it, but deep down, I knew he was lying to me. I just didn’t know about what. And my insecurities stopped me from accepting that what I was seeing was true. I had no trouble believing that he didn’t actually love me.
My fucking Serpent.
All this time, I’ve hated him. I killed because of how broken I was. I did so many stupid things. I almost did his friend too—Maddox. I always had a soft spot for that brutal man. That gentle beast who kept an eye on me. And the reason Vincent and I never were. Although he cannot be blamed for it.
No one can, apart from my father. I would have done exactly the same thing Vincent did if I was in his position.
“So much time lost,” I whisper, unable to drop my gaze from those dark pits of his eyes.
“Yet no love was lost,” he whispers back on a long breath.
There’s a warmth in his voice that makes a home inside my chest, and instant goosebump flare over my skin. I shake my head gently as my bottom lip quivers, and he cocks his head slightly. Reaching over, he brushes his thumb over my tears, then swipes his tongue over it.
Then he dips in, and I’m expecting a kiss to my lips, but he presses it to my cheek instead. He kisses away the tears that fell there, and microscopic currents burst beneath my skin. Like tiny electric shocks in the shape of his kisses, and he follows the trail down my face. When he reaches my jaw, a ticklish sensation explodes through me, and my body shudders, my hands grabbing onto his naked waist instinctively.
I could have sworn I heard a low moan somewhere deep in his chest at the same time I felt his muscles tense. He doesn’t stop, though. He slides one hand into my hair, bending my head back, and continues to follow those stray tears. Right under my jaw, down my neck, until there’s nothing left.
My fingers tighten against his flesh, but I only meet hard muscle there. Very little softness. Fuck, he didn’t look like this all those years ago, with these defined muscles and wide shoulders. Now he’s the kind of man you expect to do at least fifty laps a day in the Olympic pool. My hands itch to explore, but I’m more intrigued by his own exploration.
I close my eyes as his grip on my hair tightens, pulling on it harder as he grabs my ass with his free hand. A tortured moan fills the room as he presses my hips into his. Mine or his, I’m not even sure. But then his tongue swipes over my clavicle, up my neck, and down again, sinking his teeth where it meets the shoulder, and a sharp pain pushes me into him.
