Smidgen, page 1
For Naiara and Tiago. LW.
For Joseph and his dog Ted. AP.
First published by Albert Street Books, an imprint of Allen & Unwin, in 2022
Copyright © Text, Lili Wilkinson 2022
Copyright © Illustrations, Alex Patrick 2022
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or ten per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.
Allen & Unwin
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ISBN 978 1 76106 743 3
eISBN 978 1 76106 492 0
For teaching resources, explore www.allenandunwin.com/resources/for-teachers
Cover and text design by Kristy Lund-White
Cover illustration by Alex Patrick
Set by Kristy Lund-White
CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3: EGGSCURSION
CHAPTER 4: EGGSPLORING
CHAPTER 5: EGGSTINGUISH
CHAPTER 6: EGGCITING
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8: EGGSCHANGE
CHAPTER 9: EGGSPLODE
CHAPTER 10: EGGSPLAIN
CHAPTER 11
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR
The thing about being in a MONSTER CLUB is you never know what to expect.
For example, five minutes ago I was standing in our Monster Club headquarters, with my pet monster HODGEPODGE.
My stepsister Willow was there too, and our new friend and Monster Club member Arabella-Rose, with her pet monster FLUMMOX.
We thought that Flummox was going to be Willow’s pet monster, but she turned out to be Arabella-Rose’s.
Three minutes ago, we were discussing making a new monster for Willow.
Two minutes ago, I heard a weird rushing, RUMBLING noise coming from behind the green door.
One minute ago, the door flew open, and a SOGGY PERSON came shooting through and landed on the floor with a
And now Willow and Arabella-Rose and I are staring at this soggy person, who appears to be a kid. A kid with incredibly cool hair (even when it’s wet), and a look of UTTER TERROR on his face.
The terror is quickly replaced with curiosity, as he blinks and stares around at the Monster Club.
says Arabella-Rose.
‘Hi, Arabella-Rose,’ the boy says, looking even more surprised.
‘Zayn goes to our school,’ Arabella-Rose explains to me and Willow.
I feel a little WOBBLE in my belly at the mention of school. Willow and I will be starting there in just one week, and I’m a bit NERVOUS.
Zayn shakes his head. ‘I don’t know what happened,’ he says.
‘I kicked my soccer ball into the bushes near the creek, and SLIPPED in the mud,
then all of a sudden I was shooting down this tunnel that was like a WATER-SLIDE.
A REALLY … DARK WATER-SLIDE.’.
He shudders.
SUDDENLY I REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE TWO MONSTERS IN THE ROOM. It’s probably not a good idea for Zayn to find out about them. Even though he does look like the kind of person who would think a pet monster is a really cool thing to have.
I glance around, but Hodgepodge and Flummox are nowhere to be seen.
‘This place is really cool,’ Zayn says. ‘I love that monster chair. Oh, and look, it says MONSTER CLUB on the ceiling! What’s up with that?’
I open my mouth, but Willow knows I’m very bad at lying so she gets there first.
‘OUR BAND!’ she says. ‘We have a band called Monster Club. This is where we rehearse.’
Arabella-Rose nods. ‘I’m the lead singer and keyboardist.’
Willow rolls her eyes.
‘This is Willow, she plays the guitar,’ Arabella-Rose continues. ‘And Artie is the...’ She looks at me and frowns. ‘Drummer?’
Willow snorts, but Zayn grins. ‘AWESOME.’
Zayn thinks I could be the drummer in a band. HE’S SO COOL.
‘Where’s your kit?’ he asks me.
I stare at him. ‘My... kit?’
‘Your drum kit.’
‘My... drum kit,’ I repeat. Zayn wants to know where my drum kit is. The drum kit that I play in our band, Monster Club.
‘It’s...um...at the drum repair shop,’ I say. ‘I hit the... big drum too hard and broke it.’
Zayn is nodding. ‘WHOA,’ he says, impressed.
He looks like he’s about to ask another question, but Arabella-Rose cuts him off. ‘I can show you the way out, Zayn. It’s just through this yellow door.’
She and Willow usher Zayn out and up the stairs. He looks over his shoulder as he goes, and grins. ‘Nice meeting you, Artie. Good luck with the band.’
I smile back at him.
Maybe if our new school has kids like Zayn there, it won’t be so bad after all.
‘Right,’ says Willow, once Zayn has gone. ‘I’ve chosen my monster.’
She holds up THE BIGGE BOKE OF FETCHING MONSTERS, which now has Arabella-Rose’s scrapbook as its front cover*.
I start to feel a little bit sick. ’A ... DRAGON?’
Willow grins. ‘IT’S GOING TO BE AWESOME.’
‘Won’t it be a bit too... big?’ Arabella-Rose asks.
‘I’m sure it won’t be that big,’ Willow says. ‘Our monsters never turn out quite the same as the pictures.’
Arabella-Rose and I share a worried glance, but I know there’s no way we can make Willow change her mind.
‘Arabella-Rose, you get the snake oil. I’ll get the sky iron. Artie, you do the roasted swallow.’
‘What about the lightning bolt?’
Willow looks thoughtful. ‘Let’s all keep an eye out. Meet back here tomorrow to make the monster. I can’t wait! I’m going to call it BLAZE. Or FIREHEART. Or THUNDERWING.’
This isn’t going to end well.
I need to find a ROASTED SWALLOW.
I have seen plenty of swallows flying around and have recorded them in my birdwatching journal. I know that they are widespread all over the world. It wouldn’t be hard to find one.
But it would be hard to catch one.
AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I’M GOING TO ROAST ONE..
So I need to think of a good substitute.
The kitchen is even more of a MESS than usual. There are eggshells and mixing bowls and spoons everywhere, along with some SOGGY, SPONGEY-looking things in baking dishes. David Cole is pulling something out of the oven.
It looks like a volcano ate a bunch of spinach, and then threw up everywhere.
David Cole throws up his hands in despair. ‘I don’t know what else to try, Artie!’
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.
‘After months of applying, I’m finally going to be a contestant on WHOLE LOTTA LOAF.’
Whole Lotta Loaf is David Cole’s favourite TV show. It’s a cooking competition where every week people have to make a particular dish, and then judges taste it and decide on a winner.
‘CONGRATULATIONS!’ I say. ‘I’m sure you’ll be great.’
David Cole sighs. ‘I don’t think I will. It’s Soufflé Day tomorrow. I’ve been practising making soufflés all week, and every single one of them has failed. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!’
He gestures at the mountain of things-that-were-supposed-to-be-soufflés-but-aren’t.
‘I’ve tried…
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hodgepodge start to sneak over to the mountain of not-soufflés.
I edge towards the fridge. ‘I’m sure you’ll get there, David Cole.’
I’m still not really sure what you’re supposed to call your stepfather.
David Cole shoves his latest failure on top of the pile. ‘I guess I’ll try again.’
Willow appears in the doorway and looks around at the mess. ‘Still no soufflé?’ she asks her dad.
David Cole shakes his head, and starts to crack more eggs into a bowl.
Willow shudders. Willow is very fussy about food, and she hates eggs more than ANYTHING.
‘Have you found the...THING?’ Willow asks me, with a meaningful nod.
She means my ingredient. The roasted swallow.
‘NEARLY,’ I say.
‘Good,’ she says. ‘I’ve got my...THING too. I’m heading down to the...PLACE.’
She means the Monster Club. I don’t know why she’s trying to be secretive. There’s no way David Cole is listening. He’s too busy cracking eggs.
I nod. ‘See you soon.’
I open the fridge, which is absolutely full of eggs.
An egg is not a roasted swallow, so that’s not going to help me.
But right at the back of the fridge there is a container with last night’s dinner leftovers. David Cole made sticky BBQ chicken wings with pineapple and coconut which were surprisingly DELiCiOUS.
A BBQ chicken wing is A BIT like a roasted swallow, right?
I c
‘Well, good luck!’ I tell David Cole.
I take the chicken wing container, and Hodgepodge and I head back to the Monster Club. It’s not super-easy to get to. We have to go...THROUGH THE EAST WING,
which is all abandoned and spooky into a room with a PIANO
press the special key that opens a SECRET DOOR
head down a dark SPOOKY PASSAGE
SLIIIIIIIIIDE DOWN A VERY BIG SLIDE.
But eventually we find ourselves in the MONSTER CLUB. Willow, Arabella-Rose and Flummox are already there. Willow has also brought the fancy black kettle we use to make monsters.
‘Okay,’ she says. ‘Arabella-Rose, do you have the snake oil?’
‘Sort of?’ says Arabella-Rose. She holds up something PURPLE and SLiMY.
‘What is that?’
‘It’s a jelly snake, dipped in olive oil.’
Willow frowns at it, then shrugs. ‘Okay, chuck it in.’
Arabella-Rose drops the jelly snake into the kettle.
‘Artie?’
I open the container and pull out a chicken wing.
Willow scowls.‘NO WAY,’she says. ‘I’m not having another chicken monster.’
Flummox fluffs up her fur indignantly and makes a clucking sound.
‘Sorry,’ says Willow.
‘It’s the best I could do,’ I say. ‘It’s not like I was going to catch an actual swallow and roast it.’
‘Why not?’ says Willow.
I decide not to answer that.
Willow scowls at me. ‘Fine,’ she says. ‘BUT MY MONSTER HAD BETTER NOT BE CHICKENISH.’
I drop the chicken wing into the kettle. ‘What were you supposed to find?’
‘Sky iron,’ Willow says. ‘I was going to get our iron, but I figured it wouldn’t fit inside the kettle. Then I remembered these.’ She holds up a little bottle of pills. ‘Iron supplements.’
‘How are they sky iron, though?’
Willow shrugs. ‘I threw them out the attic window before coming here.’
She drops the bottle of pills into the kettle.
‘What about the last ingredient?’ Arabella Rose asks. ‘The lightning bolt?’
We all look at each other.
‘How do we find a lightning bolt?’ Willow asks.
This is something I know about. ‘LIGHTNING,’ I explain, ‘is an electric discharge that happens in between the sky and the ground. Usually it originates in cumulonimbus—’
Hodgepodge does a very EGGY FART, and Willow makes a face.
‘How do we get one, though?’ asks Arabella-Rose.
‘We could wait for a storm,’ Willow says. ‘And then put the kettle up on the roof, and hope it gets struck by lightning?’
I shake my head. ‘Willow, that sounds EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.’
‘What about your T-shirt, Willow?’ Arabella-Rose suggests. ‘It has a lightning bolt on it.’
Willow hugs her arms around herself. ‘No way,’ she says. ‘This shirt is part of my brand.’
Suddenly I remember something. ‘Zayn Osman,’ I say. ‘He was wearing a headband with a lightning bolt on it. It looked pretty cool.’
Willow ignores me. ‘Maybe drawing one is enough?’
Arabella-Rose doodles a lightning bolt on a scrap of paper, then pokes it into the kettle.
Willow opens THE BIGGE BOKE OFFETCHING MONSTERS and recites the incantation.
NOTHING HAPPENS.
Not even a wisp of steam.
‘Did you plug it in?’ I ask Willow.
She nods. ‘I think it’s the lightning bolt,’ she says. ‘All the other ingredients feel right, if you know what I mean. But the lightning bolt doesn’t.’
She tips the kettle upside down and all the ingredients come tumbling out.
‘Zayn Osman’s headband,’ I say again. ‘That feels right. Don’t you think?’
Willow and Arabella-Rose share a look. ‘Yeah,’ Willow says. ‘Maybe. Let’s go and talk to him.’
We head back up to our house. Mum has her headphones on as she assembles a bookcase, so we go into the kitchen.
David Cole is pulling yet another soufflé attempt out of the oven. It’s black, round and hard, like a lump of coal. Quite a lot of smoke seems to be coming off it.
‘Still no luck?’ I say.
‘I have to be at the WHOLE LOTTA LOAF set in two hours,’ David Cole moans. ‘I don’t know if I’m going to make it!’
‘Dad, you just need to relax a bit,’ says Willow. ‘It’s only a silly cooking show.’
David Cole looks like he might cry. ‘It’s the GREATEST cooking show ever made.’
He reaches into the fridge for another carton of eggs, and Hodgepodge reaches for the black lump of smoking coal.
‘Okay, well, we’re going to the park,’ Willow says.
‘Have fun,’ says David Cole in a miserable voice.
As we head out onto the street, a big, shiny black car pulls up in front of us. The window winds down to reveal the bushy moustache of WESLEY CRANKSHAW, the rare animal collector who STOLE Hodgepodge from us twice and also happens to be Arabella-Rose’s great-uncle.
‘UNCLE CRANKY!’ says Arabella-Rose. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I had a little free time,’ says Wesley Crankshaw, ‘and I thought I might pop round and take my talented niece out for lunch. What do you say?’
Arabella-Rose beams at him. ‘I’d love to, but I’m a bit busy right now.’
Wesley Crankshaw looks from me to Willow. ‘HELLO, YOU TWO,’ he says. ‘Made any new fetchlings lately?’
WILLOW POKES HER TONGUE OUT AT HIM.
Normally I would think this was a VERY RUDE and INAPPROPRIATE thing to do to a grown-up, but Wesley Crankshaw is a VERY BAD MAN, so I guess it’s okay.
‘Uncle Cranky,’ Arabella-Rose says sternly. ‘You promised me you wouldn’t try to interfere with my friends and their monsters.’
‘YES, YES,’ says Wesley Crankshaw. ‘I’m just joking.’
But there’s a gleam in his eye that I don’t trust. I’m glad that Hodgepodge is tucked away safely in my backpack, and Flummox is back at the Monster Club waiting for us.
We find Zayn at the soccer field, kicking the ball around with his friends.
I don’t know much about soccer, because balls are not my friends. But even I can tell that Zayn is very good. Every time he kicks the ball, it seems to go EXACTLY where he wants it to, which means he must be really good at trigonometry. And he looks extremely cool while he does it, with his hair flying behind him, held back with the lighting bolt headband.
‘UGH,’says Willow, yawning dramatically. ‘Soccer is so boring. It’s nothing like aikido.’
Arabella-Rose nods in agreement. ‘Zayn thinks he’s so cool, just because he’s good at soccer and has heaps of friends.’
Zayn is really cool. And he is really good at getting the ball in the goal, which appears to be the whole point of soccer. Eventually he seems to have done it enough times that his team wins, because they all high-five each other, and wander off to their water bottles and backpacks. We make our way over to Zayn.
‘Hey,’ he says. ‘It’s you guys again. How’s the band coming along?’
‘Great,’ says Willow. ‘We’re nearly ready to start playing some gigs. Hey, can I have your headband?’
Zayn frowns. ‘MY HEADBAND? WHY?’
‘I...I just really like it?’
‘Uh-huh.’ Zayn narrows his eyes. ‘You can have it, if you tell me the truth about the monster club.’
Willow blinks. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I know you’re not really in a band.’
‘YES, WE ARE,’ Willow says, crossing her arms.
‘There were no instruments in that room.’
Willow and Arabella-Rose share a look. ‘We’re totally in a band,’ Arabella-Rose insists.
Zayn shrugs. ‘SEE YOU LATER.’ He turns to start walking away.
‘Wait!’ Willow says. ‘Okay, I’ll tell you.’
