The Dom Who Came in from the Cold, page 17
part #57 of Masters and Mercenaries Series
Her eyes were sad as she looked up at him. “You don’t matter anymore.”
He tried not to let her see how much that hurt. “Then it shouldn’t mean anything that I’m the one giving you what you need. You had a terrible day. You were so out of control, and now you can’t let go and do what you need to do. If I don’t matter, then I’m nothing but a hard hand on your ass and a commanding voice to guide you on the path.”
He wanted to be so much more, but he didn’t have room to argue with her. If he survived the upcoming battle with Julia, they would have time to reconcile. He would spend the rest of his life making it all up to her, and he could start with giving her everything she needed with no strings attached.
MaeBe stepped forward and put a hand on his chest, pressing him back. “Fuck you, Kyle.”
He held his ground. She didn’t want his tenderness, couldn’t handle this being soft and sweet.
So he would give her his roughness, his dominance.
He reached out and tangled his fingers in her hair. “I wished we’d played. I wish I knew exactly what you like and what you don’t.”
“I can say the words yellow and red. Unless you don’t remember your training. It’s not like you put it into practice. You were far too busy keeping your hands to yourself.” She was taunting him, pushing him back and behaving like the worst brat in the world. “You wasted it, you know. I don’t even know why you bothered to take that class.”
Oh, she wanted to be mad at him. He could give her so many more reasons for anger. He meant to be honest with her this time around. About most things. Definitely about this. He tightened his hold, bringing her up on her toes and watching as her eyes went wide and her pupils dilated. “I didn’t just take the class at Sanctum. Baby, I’ve been working at The Club one night a week since I came home. I’ve taken private training with Julian Lodge, and I’ve practiced hard.”
“I thought you were working late. That was the excuse you always gave.” She swiped a hand at him but he held her off. “More lies.”
“I’m full of them,” he admitted, his cock tightening. His cock was an optimistic idiot because there was zero way she let him get inside her tonight. Unless he was really, really good at what he was about to do. Unless he brought her so much pleasure she forgot everything but her next orgasm. He couldn’t help it. His mind went there. They were alone in a room together, a room filled with toys he’d dreamed of using on her. A room for the fantasies they could play out.
Like the fantasy where he’d never left Dallas and had been waiting here when she’d shown up. The fantasy where he was good enough for her.
“Was she your sub?” Mae asked, a challenge in her voice. “She said she’d had a bad Dom in her past.”
Oh, they weren’t going to play this game.
He picked her up again and carried her to the big bench where he sat down and dragged her over his lap. He was gentle with her, but he wasn’t about to let her go. If she wanted out, she knew what to do. Until then, he was in charge.
“I told you. I started training when I got home and met this gorgeous brat who fucking rocked my world and who needs this.” He felt one of her hands grip his ankle. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she was absolutely manipulating him. What she didn’t understand was how far he’d go to stay close to her. “I wasn’t interested in any of this until I met you, until I realized how deep you were in, and I knew I better learn how to swim.”
He brought the flat of his hand down on her ass, once then twice and again.
“You can have a D/s relationship without ever playing and you know it.” She seemed determined to push him.
He gave her a stronger slap and then found the waistband of her leggings, starting to drag them down, exposing that gorgeous ass of hers. “No. A D/s relationship must be talked about, must be consented to, and not merely at the beginning. Every single day. Sometimes minute by minute. What you’re asking is if I was the asshole who abused Julia and made her a monster.”
She went still beneath him. “I didn’t… Kyle, I didn’t mean it that way.”
But deep down she had. Deep down she wanted to blame him for everything, and she was right to. He didn’t want to talk about this, wanted to keep her as far away from his past as he possibly could. “I didn’t top her.”
“But you did top me, and we didn’t have a contract.”
“Yeah, I topped you so hard, baby. You did pretty much whatever you wanted and got into all kinds of trouble. I never wanted you out in the field. If I was topping you, I would have made damn sure you were safe.” Another volley of slaps and her ass was starting to get pink.
“I was never going to allow you to decide how and when I work. But the rest of it… We had a D/s relationship and you broke it. We might not have had a fucking contract, but I deferred to you when you needed it. I let you lead me in so many ways and then you were gone.”
“I didn’t want to leave you. I never wanted to leave you.” He slapped her ass, punctuating each word. “I was willing to risk my life to keep you safe.”
She went quiet as he brought his hand down again and again. He watched as her body quivered and shook, going stiff and then relaxing time and time again.
But she didn’t cry.
No, something else was happening. Something that had his cock as hard as a rock.
He peppered her ass with little slaps, the scent of her arousal filling the air around him.
If his hand wasn’t working, then he could try something else. “Get naked and stand by the bench.”
She slid off his lap and onto her knees since her leggings trapped her neatly. “I’m not getting naked for you.”
He had a button he could push with her. “Then say your safe word.”
Her middle finger came up.
Then they would do it the hard way.
He reached down and ripped the blouse open, buttons scattering across the floor. “If you want to keep the rest of your clothes, you’ll take them off.”
Her eyes were wide, and her mouth slightly open. “You asshole.”
“Do you want to start the spanking again? I assure you I can slap your ass and then I’ll rip the leggings off your body and go after your underwear. Don’t worry. I’ve already asked Noelle to bring you more in the morning.”
“You have no right.”
“I have every right while we’re in this club and you haven’t said your safe word. Get naked, Mae Beatrice.”
She was frowning as she shrugged out of what was left of her shirt. “Fuck you, Kyle.”
He could only hope. He watched as she kicked out of her boots and fumbled her way out of the leggings, her soaking wet panties coming with them. “You won’t want to wear those again anyway.”
She got to her feet and unhooked her bra.
His breath nearly stopped in his chest. “You are so fucking gorgeous.”
“I don’t want to hear it, Kyle.”
“But you are. You are the most beautiful woman in the whole fucking world.”
“I’m close to saying my safe word.”
She wouldn’t take anything from him. No sweet words. No kindness at all. No love when he had so damn much love for her. It was pathetic, but he would take whatever he could get. He might not be able to say it again, but she was gorgeous. He missed her vibrant hair but only because it was so familiar. Her natural hair was brown with threads of gold and red, and it spilled past her shoulders down her back. She’d gained muscle where she’d been soft. She looked fit and stunning, but then she’d been stunning before. She always would be to him. “I told you to go to the bench. When you get there, place your palms on the seat and spread your legs. I want that ass high in the air.”
“It won’t mean anything,” she said, her voice hollow. “If you give me an orgasm, it’ll be purely physical. It won’t mean anything beyond I want an orgasm.”
Oh, but it would mean everything to him. “I am meaningless. Got it.”
She turned and walked to the bench.
And he prayed that meant he had a chance.
* * * *
MaeBe made it to the bench, cursing her weakness when it came to this man. She couldn’t resist. Even when she knew damn well she should walk away. She leaned over, placing her palms on the padded bench.
She’d never played in this room. It was meant for ménage, so when they had to pick a room, she’d selected this one because she’d never once fantasized about playing with Kyle here. Kyle wasn’t the ménage type. She’d been absolutely certain this wasn’t a man who would ask her to join him and his wife in a little play, and if she’d been the wife, it wouldn’t even have been a thought in his head.
Of course she’d thought she’d known the man. Now she knew that everything she’d built with him before was based on lies.
Yet here she was, her whole body pulsing with need, and it was all about him. Months and months she’d felt nothing, and the minute he’d shown up her libido had come back online.
Her ass ached slightly, but she wanted more.
“Eyes closed,” he ordered.
Bastard didn’t want her to know what was coming. He wanted her to stand here and squirm in anticipation.
Of course that was part of the fun.
She closed her eyes and tried to be in the moment because she’d missed this.
She’d missed him.
MaeBe shoved that thought away. It was the play she’d missed, and they’d never played. He’d put her off, telling her he wasn’t ready for that yet. He was never ready until he was, and then he’d been gone.
A crack split the air and sweet pain brought her out of her thoughts and back into her body. Heat spread through her, and she realized he’d gone and grabbed a crop.
Fuck, she loved the crop.
“Can I tell you your ass looks pretty with a pink mark on it? Or will that scare you off?”
Such an ass. “It’s fine, Sir.”
Yes, that was good. If she called him Sir and didn’t look directly at him, he could be any Dom in the world. He could be a complete stranger.
“Way to deflect,” he muttered, but he brought the crop down again. “Whatever you call me, your ass is still the prettiest pink right now.” The crop struck once more, this time to the crease where her ass sloped to her legs. It was a tender spot, and the pain made her shiver.
She wasn’t sure why she loved this, but her whole body responded to the pain—the willingly taken pain, the asked for pain.
She knew the difference. Pain was different when the person giving it wasn’t careful. Then it was just hate on her skin. This was something else. This was caring, a song that lulled her into comfort. She breathed through the pain and let it morph into something warm and lovely.
He used the crop on her ass and thighs. Whoever had trained him had done a spectacular job because he knew exactly where to hit her for maximum sensation and minimal possible injury.
Then something warm caressed her, and she felt a shudder of pleasure go through her. His hand. She loved his hands. They were callused and warm, and she’d always felt safe when he’d put them on her. Was she going to turn him away tonight? Wasn’t tomorrow soon enough to tell him to fuck off?
Her pride was rapidly losing to her horniness.
When his fingers teased at her pussy, her safe word wasn’t even close to the tip of her tongue.
“You respond so well to a good spanking.”
She thought about being a brat. Questioning his use of the word good was on the tip of her tongue, but it wasn’t true. It was stubbornness and would do nothing but lead her to hurt him in a way she didn’t want to.
She didn’t want to hurt him at all. At least that was what she was telling herself. She just wanted the world to be normal again.
His fingers teased against her pussy. Her embarrassingly wet and hot pussy.
“You know there’s another way to release this tension. When you’ve had a terrible day, one way to let off steam is to have a string of orgasms.” His voice had gone deep. She remembered that tone so well. She still dreamed about it at night.
A single big finger slid across her clitoris, and she could barely breathe.
She needed to say that word, the one that would make him stop because if she didn’t, she was going to end up in bed with him, and she’d promised herself she wouldn’t do that.
Or had she? She’d only truly promised herself that she wouldn’t fall in love with the man again. He didn’t matter. He was basically a warm vibrator, and why shouldn’t she enjoy him?
It would only be a bad idea if she was worried about her feelings for him. She didn’t have those anymore. So it was all right to take what he offered.
The pad of his finger started to work over her clitoris, rubbing and teasing and pushing her higher and higher.
When she thought about it, fucking Kyle could be the natural step to getting back into the dating scene. Closure. It was what she’d been waiting for. Sweet closure.
“I want to put my mouth on you, MaeBe.”
Suddenly she couldn’t think of why that would be a bad idea. She simply nodded. Saying yes would be too much, but then she didn’t need to say yes to him in this room. That was a given. He had her consent until she withdrew it.
D/s was something she could handle. There didn’t have to be emotions in a pure D/s relationship. It could be compartmentalized. She didn’t have to be devastated when he left again.
Because no matter what he said, he would leave again. He would lie again. She would be alone again.
“Don’t. Don’t think,” he implored. “Just feel. Just for the next hour. Let all the rest of it go and know this is real between us.”
This part could be real. This part she could accept. When he picked her up and cradled her to his chest, she didn’t resist. She let her body go soft and submissive. This was the only place where she could indulge that part of herself, where she could stop fighting her instincts and simply be.
She needed to get back to this place, and without Kyle.
He laid her down on the bed and spread her legs wide. She let him because she couldn’t work up the will to stop.
As long as he was in town, she would play with him, and then it would be done. Then she could move on with her life.
Of course he might not want to play with her when he realized she was going to kill his ex.
“You know this is what my uncle told me to do.” Kyle had gotten to his knees, and his mouth hovered right over her pussy.
She was going to ask him what he’d meant by that, but then her brain went on the fritz as he licked her. His tongue dragged along her flesh, and she felt her whole body seem to go liquid. It had been so long since she’d used her body as anything but a tool. She’d trained it and ignored all her other needs, but it had been there boiling under the surface, waiting to be fulfilled.
He licked and sucked, drawing one side of her labia into his mouth and then the other. He worked a big finger deep inside her. “You still taste so fucking sweet. I’ve never been able to forget how good you taste.”
He’d been able to forget so many other things though.
She let the thought drift away as he tongued her clit. Fire licked across her, and she hadn’t realized how cold she’d been.
He worked another finger inside her, curling them up so he could stroke her sweet spot.
The world seemed to float away as she let all the sensations take over her senses. Her backside ached in the sweetest way. Kyle’s fingers pierced her, thrust carefully in and out as he sucked at her clit.
The orgasm burst across her, making her every limb stiffen. She pressed herself against his tongue, not wanting to let go of the pleasure that coursed through her. Nothing else mattered, and the moment seemed to lengthen, swallowing her whole world until there was only him.
She relaxed, every muscle loose and limber.
Yes. That was exactly what she’d needed.
Kyle’s head came up and then he was kissing his way up her body. “I can do this all night long. Let me stay here with you. Let me hold you, Mae.”
He moved until he was lying beside her, his hand on her belly.
She was so tired, and she couldn’t think of anything nicer than not sleeping alone tonight. “Kiss me.”
A look of pure relief crossed his face as he leaned over and his lips met hers.
It wouldn’t feel the same. It could still simply be sex. They could keep it to this room since she was sure he would be gone in the morning after he’d attempted to stash her somewhere and gotten whatever intel he needed from his uncle.
One night wouldn’t make a difference.
The memory of how it felt to be loved by him rushed over her as he kissed her. He rolled on top of her, pressing her down. Her arms wound around him and something softened inside her. This might be the only night they had together.
She’d wanted so much more from him. She’d ached with the need to be with him, and it oddly felt good to ache again.
“Baby, you won’t regret it.” He stared down at her with those gorgeous green eyes of his. He looked so earnest, so deeply into her.
She was fairly certain no one had ever looked at her the way Kyle Hawthorne did.
“I already do.” But she lifted her head to kiss him again. She was falling off the wagon tonight, and tomorrow she would face reality. “But I can’t help myself.”
“Because we belong together,” he said solemnly.
She shook her head. “Don’t talk. This is going to work so much better if you just kiss me.”
He grinned and lowered his head. “All right. But you have to admit, this is so much better than a raid.”
His mouth covered hers and his tongue found her own. He drugged her with kisses, and her body started to warm up again. Her breasts were pressed against his chest, and she resented the fact that he was wearing a shirt. She wanted to feel his skin against hers.
She wanted to feel his body driving into hers. If he fucked her hard enough, she would be able to feel him all day tomorrow. It would make it easier to get through…
Raid? Why would he use the word raid?
“What did you mean?” She forced herself to say the words because it would be way too easy to let him work his way down her body again.
