Happiness is Earned (Second Chances Book 3), page 80
“I’ve got an approved list of mates who are allowed to drive me places,” I say, and he grins. “Micah doesn’t make the list.”
“He’s a good driver.”
“He’s a slow driver,” Malachi corrects, coming into the room with Cevon hot on his heels. “Grandmas can drive faster than Micah. He’d get into an accident for not moving fast enough, and our mate would be injured.”
“He gets rather anxious behind the wheel anyhow,” Cevon says, patting Micah’s shoulder. “Right, Baby M?”
Micah startles, and nods. “Yeah. Mum, are you okay?”
“She’s fine,” Marcus says sharply. He turns around holding her mug of tea, before shaking his head. “She’ll be all right.”
“Mum?” Malachi coaxes, crouching down next to her like Marcus did only moments ago. The elder Romero puts his mate’s tea in front of her, making sure to stay out of Malachi’s way, before carrying mine and Micah’s mugs over.
“I tried,” she whispers, and Malachi looks at the letters, realisation hitting him. I reach over and squeeze Micah’s hand, and he gives me a tense smile.
He’s struggling even more than Malachi is. I think Micah expected Mal to be hard and rude, and he’s struggling to adapt to Mal’s more… open behaviour.
It’s a hard situation.
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Marcus asks.
“It’s lunchtime,” Micah says, confused.
“Then lunch,” Marcus says. “We can eat, and just… talk.”
“I’m happy with that if you are,” I say, when all three of my mates turn to me. I then smile. “It’s not like it can be worse than what happened with mine.”
“I’ll help clean up,” I offer. My mates look at me in confusion, probably since I’ve not done any cleaning since moving in with them.
But to be fair, none of us have. Orson takes that burden eagerly, and when I do try to help, he swiftly takes over. My bear mate is the biggest nurturer.
This dinner has been awkward, because both Malachi and Micah have struggled to participate. I can feel they’re warring emotions, Micah’s far darker than Malachi’s, and they’re not sure how to handle this situation.
Molly’s babbled a lot, and even Marcus has tried to be open. It’s been unusual having Cevon and I be the two that have kept things moving forward.
But I think this is a situation that’s going to be weird for a while.
I have seven mates. Three of them have dead parents, and one doesn’t have a close relationship with them. We’ve got Griffin, but at the moment his father is my psychiatrist and his mother is Cevon’s, so it’s not like we’re going to be having intimate dinners with them.
Mine are terrible, and thankfully dead, so unless we’re doing dinner at the graveyard, the Romeros are the only ones left.
As a group that should have twelve parents, we’ve only got four—and two of those aren’t confirmed as being part of our lives. We’ve got nobody.
I’m not going to excuse all the damage and trauma they did to my tiger brothers, but I think it’s something that they’re potentially going to work through. Maybe.
“I’ve got this,” Molly says, but I shake my head and help her carry the plates over to the sink. Cevon sighs, and I can feel his amusement along our bond as he pulls Marcus into a conversation about people they used to know.
It’s a smart conversation topic, since it means Micah and Malachi will have to fill in the blanks.
“How far along are you?” she asks, as she starts clearing the food off the plates.
“I’m about six weeks,” I say.
She gasps again, a smile filling her face. “That’s not far at all.”
“No,” I say with a smile.
“So you don’t know what you’re having?”
I shake my head once more. “We’re having twins. But that’s all we know.”
“Twins?” she asks, tilting her head.
“Yeah, well, I’m a wolf,” I murmur, feeling a little uncomfortable. My mates are engaging with Marcus, and that’s a good thing, but Molly’s probing is not helping me remain calm.
“No, I know that. Multiples are common early on. But you’re not having twins, Nora,” she replies, looking at me as if I’m testing her or something. The look is so intense, it’s almost as if she’s penetrating my soul.
“Of course I am,” I insist. I know there’s a risk of miscarrying. Our animal sides are prone to multiples, but our human sides aren’t, and it’s hard in the early weeks.
Especially with me... lacking in the physical realm.
She shakes her head, and I lose my temper a little bit. “I’ve heard their heartbeats. I’ve seen them on the scan. We’re having twins.”
My mates stop their conversation, all of them looking over at us, and I don’t even feel shame for snapping at their mother.
She’s not going to be the one to destroy this for me.
“Nora, darling, I can hear three heartbeats,” Molly says, putting the plate down.
“Yes, baby A, baby B, and me,” I say, angrily. “My children are fine, and safe.”
“No... I mean I can hear three baby heartbeats.” She says her words slowly, her hands reaching out as if to touch me, but she’s nervous about it. “Can you not hear that?”
I shake my head, ultimately confused, before closing my eyes, holding my hands to my stomach, and listening hard. “Baby A, baby B,” I say, my ears straining. But then I hear it. A third little thumping, just off beat from the other two. I look at her in complete and utter surprise.
There’s a smile on her face, and Malachi jumps up from the table walking over to me. His arms steady me, holding me up, providing the physical support I need to get over this shock.
Three heartbeats.
That means three babies... right?
“What the fuck?” I whisper, shaking my head as I look down at my tummy. Three of them inside of me? That’s not possible
“Is that... is that okay?” Molly asks, and I nod slowly.
“We had a scan literally just a week ago. There were only two.” She shrugs, and gives me a soft smile. “Go sit down, sweetheart. I’ll make you some more tea.”
“Come on,” Mal adds, leading me over to the table.
“Congratulations,” Marcus says, softly. “It’s a healthy sign.”
“What is?” Micah asks, confused.
“The heartbeats being so strong,” Marcus replies, giving his son a tentative smile, before turning back to me. “How are you finding it? The early days were always rough on Molly.”
I lean into Malachi, and he kisses the top of my head.
“Tired, all of the time.” Molly laughs from where she’s preparing my tea.
“I remember those days. It’s hard work.”
“I can only imagine,” I say, glancing up at the broody tiger next to me, and I know he needs some time alone with his brother and they need to figure things out. “Cevon, can you come for a walk with me?”
“No,” Micah says, shaking his head. “You don’t need to leave.”
“I think you’ve all got a lot to discuss,” Cevon says. “And it might be best if we weren’t here for that.”
“Stay,” Malachi adds, tightening his grip on me like I’m going to run away.
Molly brings my tea over, and sits in the last available seat. She looks around the table, before taking a deep breath.
“No words of apology will ever be enough for the damage that was done,” she says, calmly. Marcus opens his mouth, but she continues talking. I get the feeling her mate disagrees. “How much longer are you here?”
“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Micah says. My eyes jump to him, his cold tone surprising me deeply. I never once thought he had it in him to act this... mean.
I don’t blame him for it, not even a little bit, but I can feel his turmoil. He’s upset with Malachi, he’s angry at himself, but they’re not the worst of his feelings. No, the hate and distaste that are burning inside of him, are his two primary emotions concerning his parents.
But there’s that little bit of hope, buried under the resentment. That tiny little desire for everything to somehow be resolved and they can move on as a family.
I can feel it within him, but I don’t think he’s ready to acknowledge that within himself.
“Could we do breakfast before you go?” she asks.
“We’d love that,” Malachi replies, shooting his brother a confused look.
“Good,” Marcus adds, his eyes softening as he looks at his wife. “I think it’s time we all faced the destruction I caused. I’m... I’d really like to try and make amends.”
He’s been pretty reserved this whole time. Not hostile, but... wary, and I think that’s because he’s feeling so much guilt.
This is a situation I don’t feel like I belong to. It’s personal, and not just towards my mates. Molly and Marcus deserve the chance to air their past, without Cevon and I being here.
Micah doesn’t say anything, just crosses his arms in front of his chest, but I can feel his tension easing a little bit. He’s not ready to forgive or forget, but maybe he’s willing to listen.
“Can I take these with me?” Malachi asks, looking at his pile of letters.
“Um, yes,” Molly says, a red flush coating her cheeks. “Some are from us both, some from me, and some just from your... from Marcus.” Malachi and Micah flinch, but they’re not the only ones. Even Marcus flinches, the scent of emotional pain filling the air.
It’s so strong and prominent, I can’t tell who it’s coming from.
“The early ones weren’t posted,” she continues. “Mine were, um, a part of my therapy. The later ones got sent back, and as the years went on, we tried to send less and less.”
“There’s got to be at least fifty here,” Malachi says, examining his pile.
“Seventy eight. But you don’t need to read them all.”
Mal nods, seeming a little mystified.
“Good,” Micah replies. “Because I have no intention of doing so.”
Marcus’s jaw clenches, and his eyes go to his mate. He knows this is his fault, and he’s so disappointed that he’s hurting his mate.
He’s similar to Micah in that his emotions are very easy to identify, and it makes my entire soul hurt.
They’re drowning, lost in the depths of their unhappiness, and I know they will find their way to shore... I just don’t know if they’ll all be together when they do.
“We’ll come and see you tomorrow for breakfast,” Malachi says, giving his brother a soft smile. “Eight work?”
“Eight works,” Marcus replies. “We’ll see if we can fish out anymore information on Bonnie for you.”
“Don’t bother,” Cevon says, quietly. “What you’ve given us is enough.”
Marcus frowns. “I didn’t have much to say.”
“No, maybe not. But you did confirm that she was never harmed whilst in the care of her biological parents,” Cevon replies. “Which means that her scars came from another source.”
Marcus and Molly are confused, but we say our goodbyes. The tension is uncomfortable, but I have no regrets about hugging her when we leave.
I think space is good for all of them.
And me, because it turns out I’m not pregnant with twins.
There’s three babies in here, and whoever the father is, is going to be bragging until the day we die.
Seriously. One father for three little pups?
That’s some virile fucking sperm.
70
MICAH
“Where’s Nora?” I ask, coming into the main part of the hotel room. We got back from my parent’s place an hour ago, and we’re planning on seeing them again tomorrow before we go back home. But I’d have thought she’d be here, offering support as we read the letters.
I told them I’m not touching mine, but something made me take them away with us anyway.
I think we all need the break between now and then, to centre ourselves and maybe even think of the future. Today went a lot better than I thought it would, and it helps to know who Lainey used to be.
Cevon’s not impressed with what we’ve found, but I think in time, he might appreciate knowing where she came from originally. It does cement the fact that she knew who we were—Malachi and I, at the very least—when she was alive, and that means she knew about her heritage.
It doesn’t bode well for her.
But the conversation with my parents went well, and they were both civil. Actually, a little more than civil. My mum was upset but overjoyed that we were there. My dad... he seemed dismissive of me, as if Malachi was the only important thing, to begin with.
It pissed me off, especially since Malachi’s all but moving into their house in order to repair their bonds.
Sure, maybe I’m not ready to forgive and forget as fast as Malachi is. He might be the tough one, the one with the broody anger and the sharp edges... but he’s also the quickest one to put himself last. He’s looking over their transgressions because he hates seeing our mum this way, and he’s desperate to make her feel better.
And I completely understand that urge. The bond to our parents is especially strong for our animals, and it’s almost ingrained in us, to want to look after them.
But I don’t feel that way. I closed off the bonds to our parents, severing my ties to them the day I left them with my brother. They didn’t deserve my love or care. They didn’t deserve to have that hold over me. But Malachi... I’m coming to realise that he didn’t do the same thing.
He’s still connected to them, his tiger still loves them, and it puts us on an uneven footing.
“She’s gone to take a nap,” Cevon says, stretching out on the sofa. “She’s a little exhausted and overly full from dinner with your parents.” He’s topless, wearing only a pair of shorts, with his long blonde hair down, framing his face and covering his shoulders. He seems pretty relaxed after the day we’ve had.
“Oh. Good.” I’d have thought she’d be attached to Kai’s side, showering him in love and comfort after that visit.
“She didn’t want to,” my brother says, with a heavy sigh. “I practically forced her to lay down, and it didn’t take long for her to sleep.”
“The exhaustion should only last a few more weeks,” Cevon says, tossing a paper ball up in the air before catching it. I follow the movement, not sure where he got it from, slightly envious of his natural athleticism.
There’s not a single chance I’d have caught that before it hit me in the face, supernatural reflexes or not.
“But what comes after that then?” I ask, plopping down next to Cevon on the sofa. He moves his legs so I’ve got a bit more room. The leather is still warm from his body, and even now, I can feel the heat emanating from him in waves.
He’s still just as unsettled as I am—he’s just hiding it better.
Weirdly, that helps soothe me, knowing that I’m not the only one who is feeling a little out of their depth after today.
Malachi was the one to fight coming here, and it’s pissing me off that he seems like the only one at ease with the entire situation.
“Then comes the fun stage,” Cevon says, winking at me. “The sexual libido in pregnant women is very... high in the second trimester.”
“Higher than now?” My doubt rings through my tone, as I regard the lion.
He laughs. “Oh, yes. Female shifters are very susceptible to the animal energy and pheromones during pregnancy.”
I feel a blush rise to my cheeks, even though I’m not the one who is pregnant. “Well, I’m sure we can help manage that.”
Cevon and Kai exchange looks, before roaring with laughter. My blush only deepens, and I start picking at the loose thread on my shorts so I don’t need to engage with them.
Assholes.
“It’s a good sign,” Cevon says, patting my thigh. He’s still chuckling, so I roll my eyes. “Now, let’s get all this mushy shit out of the way because I already hate it.”
“Hate what?” Malachi asks.
“The tension between the two of you. Today went a lot better than we thought it would but clearly you’re struggling.” He smirks, laying his head back down as he goes back to throwing his annoying paper ball. “Or as Anisa would say—your spiritual energies are no longer in harmony. Fix it.”
“She just demands you fix yourself?” I ask with a frown. He just raises an eyebrow, and I know he’s not going to answer. So I turn my attention to my brother. “It’s a little frustrating that you’re so ready to forgive and forget.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget, Micah,” Kai says with a harsh tone, as he adjusts his sitting. He places both feet on the floor and rests his elbows on his knees. There’s a dark energy surrounding my brother right now, and it unsettles me, for reasons I can’t place. “But forgiveness? I’m not sure I’ve got the capacity to give it.”
“But you want to.”
He nods, slowly dropping his head to his hands, and that’s when it hits me.
This energy? This pain? This is how every day used to be with him before we left.
He’s not forgetting.
And he’s struggling.
“I won’t be able to forgive them until you do,” I say, and his head snaps up. Shock fills his face. “I never suffered, Kai. Sure, I was there, and hated that I couldn’t protect you, but it was never about me.”
“It was never your job to protect me,” he snaps. “You never had to protect me, Micah.”
I shrug. “And yet we protect each other. I failed.” Cevon kicks me, and I glare at the lion. “What the fuck? You told us to talk.”
“And I reserve the right to kick idiots who belittle themselves,” he replies. “It’s therapeutic.”
“Dickhead.” He salutes me and doesn’t argue.
Kai’s expression softens, and he reaches out, placing a hand on my knee. “You didn’t fail, Micah. You did everything you could and in the end, it was you who made it possible for us to leave. We survived, and I don’t blame you for anything that went down.”
“But it wasn’t enough.” I shake my head, feeling the weight of all those years of guilt pressing down on me. “And I can’t forgive them until you do, because I don’t trust myself to be objective. They deserted you when you needed their support. Sure, mum was struggling... but so were you.”
