Brighde Reborn, page 20
“What about him?” I snapped.
“Shh! If you’re going to yell, take it outside,” Mrs. Barone, the librarian, said in a harsh whisper. I looked back at her with tears staining my face and saw her look change from upset to sympathetic. She curled her mouth into a half smile and tilted her head slightly. The motion caused a piece of her black hair to slip from the clip holding it in place.
“He should apologize too!” retorted Cay, who had clearly ignored the direction from Mrs. Barone. I whipped back around to face him.
“Why? He was only defending himself.” I stormed through the door and stood in the hallway.
“Not to me. To you!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why does he still keep you in the dark about everything? How can you trust him knowing secrets still exist between you two?” Cay kept his voice low, but the intensity was still very present.
“There aren’t any secrets between us! Not anymore, thanks to your insistence.”
Cay snorted. “Don’t kid yourself.” He moved closer to me.
“There will always be secrets, ones that have yet to be revealed. Don’t you think it’s weird he hasn’t told you about his family?”
“You sound like a comic book villain. And I know about his family.”
“Yeah? All of them? What about Tomas? It has to be annoying that he’s always hanging around.”
“The same way Logan is usually at your heels?” I nodded to the lurking silhouette of the high school boy just down the hall. Cay smirked.
“Exactly the same way.” I frowned, not following the breadcrumbs he left for me.
“That’s something for me and him to figure out. Not you,” I responded. “I don’t care why you feel it’s your job to get in the way of him and me. I don’t care why you’re fighting with Trip, but it needs to end before it consumes you both. I’m giving you the chance to be the bigger man right now. Take it.” With that, I huffed down the hall and to my next class.
As I drove home from school, I decided to find Trip and talk to him. When I pulled into my driveway, I saw I’d beaten him home. I dumped my books in my room and went outside to wait for him in a calmer state than I had been an hour ago. It had stopped raining, but there was still a cold dampness in the air. Fifteen minutes passed, and the silver Audi hadn’t arrived. I shivered in my coat. Twenty-five minutes gone. Okay, another five minutes and I would be going back inside. My determination to wait had run out about ten minutes ago, leaving me vulnerable to the bone-chilling cold. This was silly. I’d just go over later tonight. I had a test to study for anyway. As I went inside, I knew Dante and Virgil wouldn’t be enough of a distraction. I unpacked my notebook and my copy of Inferno, laying them open on my desk. Pulling out the study guide we were given, I flipped to the first question: Who is Beatrice to Dante, and why does he travel to Hell to save her?
I wasn’t interested in answering the question right away, so I moved down to the next question: “Many scholars agree Dante’s Inferno is an allegory. Argue why it’s not.”
Pushing away Dante and sliding my statistics book toward me, I opened up to the fifth chapter. Staring at it, my mind went blank.
I texted Trip after three fruitless attempts to study.
[Bridget: Hey, missed you at lunch today. Can we talk?]
Obsessively, I checked my phone every three minutes for a response. I groaned and threw my phone across my room. It landed on my bed softly.
“Things okay?” Mom asked as she poked her head into my room. I didn’t even hear her come home.
“Yeah, I’m just frustrated about something. I’ll be fine.”
“How was school today?” she asked, coming into my room.
“Boring, like normal.” I liked school. With the way things were slowly going insane around me, I liked the stability of it.
“I’m sorry to hear that. If you want to take a break from studying, I could use some help making dinner.”
I swung around in my chair and stared at my books again. The words swirled around and cha-chaed off the page. I slammed the book shut. “Sure.”
After helping Mom make dinner and eating, I cleaned and washed the dishes to put off my inevitable homework. When I got back into my room, I grabbed my forgotten phone. Sigh. Still no messages from Trip. I flopped back onto my pillows. This whole avoidance act was getting really old. The radio silence was driving me insane. My anxiety practically shot out my fingertips as my heart pounded in my chest. Maybe this was his way of breaking up with me. I took a huge breath in and released it slowly, counting to ten. Repeating this process helped slow my racing heart and return my hands to normal again. I glanced at my books one more time. The thought of studying made my brain flatline. I needed a mental break. It was dark outside, but that didn’t matter. I got up and went into the yard to practice, waning powers be damned.
With the sun setting earlier, it took a lot for me to get my powers into full swing. I breathed, closed my eyes, and cleared my mind. “Okay, now what?” Trip’s voice floated from somewhere in my memory.
“Think about how you’ve felt,” he told me. Right. I’d been feeling broken, mostly, mixed with hurt and a dash of disappointment. Drawing from those emotions, it rained heavy droplets pelting the earth. Letting it pour down on me was comforting. I knew I controlled it, but it felt like the world sympathized with me, and I suddenly didn’t feel so lonely.
Thoroughly drenched but with the weight lifted off my shoulders, I ended the rain. I summoned a quick heat wave to dry off. Focusing my mind again, I thought of a memory from earlier this summer. Right after school had let out on the last day, the ocean waves beckoned my friends and me. We all had our bathing suits, having worn them to school. I stashed my stuff in my car and ran to catch up with them. The sun beat down on my skin and warmed my flesh as we hurried to get a spot on the already-filling beach. The crash of the waves made me ache to dive, and Gillian’s roller coasters filled with the high-pitched screams and laughter of children of all ages. We finally found a good spot in the toasty sand and settled down. Along with every other high schooler, I stripped off my clothes and slapped on sunscreen before racing into the water. I basked in the innocence of that moment. The freedom of summer, the blissful ignorance of what was coming, and the happiness of drinking in the sunshine.
I felt my own skin heat up, on the verge of sweating, and my clothes dried on my body. I opened my eyes slowly, expecting a blinding sun to be waiting, but nothing but damp darkness welcomed me. I was so caught up in my own thoughts; I forgot it was October. I patted my body and looked down. My pants and shirt were now dry with a few still-damp patches behind my knees and upper thighs. Everything else around me was still wet from the rain. I smiled. Finally, I could warm myself up! No more freezing in winter. Happiness and pride flooded my body. I needed to tell someone. I ran up the porch steps, my sneakers squeaking on the kitchen floor, and hurried to my room. I grabbed my phone on my bed, went to text Trip, and froze. Right. He was avoiding me. My heart sank as I stared at my empty inbox. I would give him until after my test tomorrow to try to contact me. I put my books away, turned on my TV, and sank into my bed with the intent of drowning myself in sitcoms.
Chapter 21
School the next morning was frantic. Everyone buzzed with excitement about the latest gossip, which meant they slowed down the traffic to homeroom. No one wanted to rush off just after hearing Cory Birch had broken it off with Noelle Patrelli for another girl. Rumors flew as people speculated who the other woman could be.
“I heard it’s Hilary,” Annabelle said knowledgeably.
Bri shook her head. “Impossible. Everyone knows she has a thing for Cay.”
“Plus, Noelle and Hilary are BFFs. That would kill the friendship if Hilary hooked up with her ex,” I added. “Not to mention, Noelle would kill Hilary.”
“I heard it was Melissa Palmer,” Annabelle said, scandalized.
“That’s possible,” Bri said, “but I’ve never seen him look in her direction.”
“What about Amanda Wykowski?” I suggested. “They used to date freshman year. Rekindled romance?”
“Maybe, but I thought she was still dating Ryan Trainor,” Annabelle said.
I shrugged. “Kyle Perkins? She’s part of the pep squad, and sophomore year, Cay had a thing for her.”
“All I know is whoever the ‘other woman’ is, she better hide until the year is over. Noelle is on the warpath. She’s out for blood,” Bri said.
“How do you know that?” I quizzed her.
“Twitter.” Bri looked at her nails casually.
Annabelle looked at her phone as it chirped. “Class is about to start. I’ll see you at lunch.”
Our little group broke for studying instead of intense gossiping.
On my way to lunch, I caught sight of Trip, laughing and hanging out with Tomas and some other guys in the hall. He seemed so happy without me. There I was, miserable, unable to concentrate, and he was living the good life. Had we broken up and I’d missed it? I just stared at him as students passed by, heading toward the cafeteria. He looked up and caught my eye. His smile fell a little. Confirmation. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. When I opened them again, he was on his way toward me. I couldn’t do this in school. I just couldn’t handle it right now. I shook my head, holding back tears, and headed toward girls’ bathroom.
Thankfully, it was empty. I closed the door to the handicapped stall and leaned against the wall, the least offensive part of the enclosure. I felt the cool tile through my shirt. It was refreshing against the heat of my body. Deep breaths. A knot formed in the center of my chest, expanding with every second. Tears burned my eyes as I slid down, sitting hard on the floor. Think of something else. My fists clenched by my side until white knuckles appeared. Puppies, baseball, math, bugs, anything else but him. I turned my face and pressed it against the wall, hoping the chilly touch of the tile would stop the fire spreading in my cheeks. Calm down. You have the Inferno test today. Who is Dante’s childhood love? Beatrice. Who guides him through hell? The poet, Virgil. I started calming, the building tension in my chest subsiding. My breathing slowed, so I wasn’t panting anymore. The bathroom door opened, and someone walked into the stall next to me. I walked out, washed my hands, and checked my appearance in the vaguely scratched mirror hanging above the sink. My hair was pulled halfway up, waves cascading down my shoulders. Skin, not too bad, eyes, slightly red, but that will clear up. Overall, I shouldn’t look like I was on the verge of tears a few minutes ago. I opened the door and turned right to meet my friends.
“Hey,” Trip said, stepping from his perch against the wall. I froze in my tracks.
“Hi,” I breathed. Just be cool. Oh, who was I kidding? I never hid my feelings.
It would be a miracle if I didn’t turn into a blubbering mess right now.
“How’ve you been?” he asked. My bathroom buddy walked out and headed across the hall into a classroom, never looking once in our direction. Beside us, the hallway was empty and felt endlessly long. I looked down it toward the cafeteria, appearing millions of miles away. I’d been dreading this moment, but it was time to rip off the bandage. “If you’re going to end it, just do it already,” I said, feeling that knot building again. Puppies, baseball, bugs…
“What?”
“I don’t want to drag this breakup out. Just get it over with.” I swallowed hard.
Trip opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “And just for the record, breaking up with me over a fight just shows how juvenile you are! When things get tough, you work them out!” I pointed my finger in his face. “I can’t believe I fell for your good looks and charm.” I shook my head. “I’m just as shallow as you.” Shrugging my shoulders, I folded my arms over my chest. “It doesn’t even matter anymore. Break it off or don’t, but make a decision so I can move on with my life.” I took a deep breath. “Okay, now you may speak.”
Trip burst into laughter.
I frowned. What the hell?
“I’m sorry,” he said, calming a bit. I jokingly punched him in the arm. Hard.
“Ow! What the—Bridget, I’m not breaking up with you!” he said.
Confusion clouded my mind. “I don’t understand. You’ve avoided me for days. If you aren’t breaking up with me, what the hell is going on?” Trip became serious.
“I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. I was mad at you and needed to cool off.”
“Ignoring me for nearly a week and looking positively cheery without me is your way of cooling off?”
He shook his head. “No; with my parents gone until tomorrow, I had to play the responsible brother role for my siblings. If they report back to my mom and dad that I was distracted by a fight with my girlfriend, who knows if they’d leave me in charge again? Plus, I couldn’t leave all the responsibility to Dee. She takes care of us enough as it is. It’s not fair to her.”
I wanted to believe him. Believing him would be so easy, but there was more to his story. Maybe Cay’s words were getting to me.
“That’s all?” I asked. He flashed a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“That’s it. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. I really am.” He moved to take my hand but stopped himself. “Are we good?”
I bit my lip. “So you didn’t sit with me at lunch because you were still upset with me, but you were faking happiness for your siblings?”
“Yeah.”
“What did you say when Deidra or Roden asked why you weren’t sitting with me, if they didn’t know about our fight?”
He sighed. “Dee knows, but Roden doesn’t. She helped me cover, okay?”
I felt I’d only scratched the surface of this half-assed apology. Trip eyed me carefully, probably trying to figure out if I bought his story. I rubbed the back of my neck for a moment, taking it all in.
Shaking my head, I asked, “That’s it? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“Yeah. You don’t believe me?”
“It’s not that,” I started. His eyes filled with concern. “I just… I feel like there’s more you aren’t telling me.” I shifted my weight to my left foot and put my hands in my back pockets.
“Like what?” The concern was replaced by a shadow of dread. I gave a tiny shrug.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
Trip cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. “There’s nothing else to tell you. I promise.”
I didn’t know who he was trying to convince more, me or himself. “Okay. If you say there’s nothing more, I believe you.”
“Are we good then?” He asked with his eyebrows raised and an inquiring smile on his lips.
“Yeah,” I said. The gnawing in my stomach wasn’t going away. He held out his hand to me, and I took it. Not long ago, interlocking my fingers with Trip’s had given me a squishy, happy feeling that made me blush deep red. Now, the gesture felt foreign to me. Looking up at Trip, he smiled genuinely. I gave him a small smile and looked ahead. I couldn’t tell who was lying to whom anymore.
Trip and Deidra sat with the rest of us at lunch. I tried not to act like a zombie, but I was preoccupied with what was going on with Trip. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what he was hiding, but I knew his apology had been off.
Someone nudged my knee. I looked up from my sandwich and at Trip, who was sitting on my right.
“What’s running through your pretty mind?” he whispered.
“I’m just worried about this test I have in English. I studied for it, but I still feel unprepared.”
“Well, don’t worry. You’re the brightest person I know,” he said, giving me a kiss on my temple. He jumped right back into the conversation swirling around me without a second thought.
I stared out the window and caught sight of some light snow falling. I glanced at Trip for a moment, wondering what was running through his mind. Was he the reason for the sudden snowfall? Tomas laughed loudly at the other table, drawing my attention and forcing my thoughts back. I knew Trip was hiding something from me. What if it was about his bunkmate? If I wanted the answers to my questions, I should ask Trip, but how could I trust he’d tell me the truth? He’s never lied to me before, but as much as I hated to admit this, Cay had always been the one I could turn to about this stuff. Would he tell me, even after our fight yesterday? He seemed so hell-bent on telling me everyone’s deep, dark secrets. Either way, I would have to ask someone. I surveyed my options. Deidra could help, but I knew she’d back up her brother’s cover story before breaking his confidence to me. Roden would do the same. I appreciated the family loyalty, but it would get me nowhere. A loud noise followed by roaring laughter came from a table behind me. I turned to see Logan acting like a moron for the amusement of his Neanderthal friends. Cay laughed so hard I thought he’d to pee himself. I might as well ask him.
I dug into my lunch with newfound vigor. If I hurried, I could catch him before he rushed off to class.
“You late for an important date, White Rabbit?” Cole asked as I scarfed down my grapes.
“No. Why do you ask?” I chugged my lemonade and wiped my mouth with a napkin before going back to grapes.
“Because if you don’t slow down, you’ll choke,” Bri said, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m just really hungry. I feel like I haven’t eaten since yesterday,” I lied. I polished off the rest of my fruit and gathered my garbage. Ten pairs of unblinking eyes stared at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Are you okay?” Annabelle asked.
“Yes.” Five doubtful faces looked at me. “I’m fine. Really. I’m running to the library real quick to cram some last-minute studying in,” I told them as I picked up my backpack and trash. “See you later!”
