Springwell Series: Books 1 - 6, page 61
“Maybe.” Okay, definitely. But once I had figured out how to deal with all the potential stains, I’d gone right out and bought the items she’d requested. Partly because I thought Sofia would like them and partly because my nanny had a way of asking that was tough to refuse.
“I was shocked you agreed. Tell me…” She dropped her voice low, and it took on a seductive edge. “Did going to the art supply store give you anxiety?”
“It was terrifying,” I said, playing along with her and enjoying the flirtation. “All that color and clutter.”
“Did you organize anything while you were there?” she asked.
I bit my lip. I had rearranged some paints that were in the wrong bins while I made my selections.
“You did.” Her laugh rang out, taking any sting out of her accusation. “Oh, that’s too funny. I’d like to have seen that.”
“Is Sofia enjoying the stuff I bought?” I’d gladly risk stains and blobs if it made my daughter happy.
“She is. We’ve been focusing on identifying shapes and colors so far, but the watercolors come out next.”
I contained the shiver that went through me at the thought, but I was also glad I’d hired the woman next to me. She was bringing Sofia joy and teaching her at the same time. That was exactly what I had hoped to get from a nanny. I was lucky to have found her, even if it was temporary. And I won’t ruin it by making a pass at her, no matter how tempting she might look when she’s teasing me.
“Thanks for what you’re doing with Sofia.” I was grateful every evening when I came home and found Sofia gleefully playing or contentedly asleep.
“That’s the job,” Lily said. “And she’s such a delight to be around that I don’t feel like I’m working. You’re lucky.”
“I know.” I felt my luck. Fatherhood wasn’t something I’d expected, not yet at least. I’d thought down the road I’d meet the right woman and we’d have kids, have that perfect family. I didn’t want to shortchange Sofia just because the circumstances were different.
“Can I ask a question?” She eyed me.
“Sure,” I said, unable to tell what direction her thoughts were taking.
“I’m curious about the display case in the living room with the decks of cards.” She propped her elbow on the island and turned toward me, resting her hand against the side of her face. “You don’t seem like a gambler or a collector, although some of the decks look old. My guess is that they mean something special to you.”
“They do,” I answered. “I’m a card player of sorts.”
“Really? What’s your game?”
“Well, I play poker with a group of guys once a week, but my real game is bridge.” What my brothers had termed “the complicated old-fashioned game.”
“Unusual choice for our generation. My parents and grandparents play, but I don’t think I know anyone younger who’s into the game.”
“Yeah. I have to go to the senior center to find partners.” The seniors always found it amusing when I showed up to their card nights. I hadn’t had as much time to do that since Sofia came into my life.
“There must be a story behind your love for the game,” she said. “Will you tell me?”
I considered saying no or brushing her off with a promise of telling her later, but something about her put me at ease. “You know that I’m close to Chance and Zach, and I’ve told you about Alex,” I began. “They’re good men.”
“Like you,” she interrupted softly.
“Thanks.” I accepted her words, feeling a little thrill at the unexpected compliment. “But part of the reason we all work so hard to be there for each other is because growing up was rough. For me and my brothers, our parents were shit. Mom left when I was six. Dad wasn’t a man who should have had children. Zach, Alex, and I survived by sticking together. By the time we were in our early teens, we were headed down the wrong road. Fortunately, a teens-at-risk program connected us with a retired admiral, Peter Anderson. He took us in, became our foster father, and through one hell of a lot of work and love on his part, turned us around.”
“That’s when you got close to Chance and the other McCallisters?”
“Actually, no. The Admiral and his brother—Chance’s dad—had a falling out years ago, when Chance was just a baby. Before I was even born. As far as we can tell, they never spoke again. Chance and his brothers grew up not even knowing that they had an uncle.”
Lily looked surprised. “Springwell’s a pretty small town,” she pointed out. “I would have thought everyone would know, even if the Admiral and Mr. McCallister never said anything about it.”
I shrugged. “I guess by the time Chance was old enough to be aware of what people were saying, it was already old news and no one thought to bring it up anymore.”
“So how did all of you find out?”
“Their dad died two and a half years ago. After the funeral, Chance was going through some old papers, and he found letters that the Admiral used to send his dad from his postings overseas. He started researching and asking around, and it wasn’t too long before he figured out the connection.”
“He couldn’t ask the Admiral?”
I shook my head. “He died five and a half years ago.”
“So they really never reconciled,” she mused. “That’s so sad. I can’t imagine living in the same town with your sibling and never talking to them—missing out on all the important milestones of their lives.”
“Are you close with all of your siblings?” I asked.
She smiled. “Yeah, I am. With the youngest ones, I’m kind of their second mom, since I did a lot of looking after them, which means it’s a different kind of closeness than what you have with Chance and your brothers, but we all stay in pretty constant contact. But wait, how did you get so close to Chance? I thought the two of you grew up together.”
“No, not really. I mean, we knew each other in passing, but I’m two years younger than Lee, the youngest McCallister brother, so it’s not like we had classes together. Chance was a senior in high school when I was still in eighth grade. But after Chance found those letters and started digging into the history between his dad and the Admiral, he reached out to me and my brothers to see what we knew—if the Admiral had told us anything.”
“Had he?”
“No, not directly.” He had talked to us a lot about how important family was, and how important it was for brothers to look after each other. Looking back now with new perspective, I had to wonder whether he’d been thinking about his own brother at those times…but I’d never really know for sure. “When Zach retired from the Navy and moved back to town, he went over to see Chance and his brothers and brought them some papers the Admiral had kept—letters from his brother and some other mementos. That was when the McCallisters basically told him they considered him to be part of the family now. They actually insisted that he move into their childhood home when he admitted that he didn’t have a place to stay yet. It was the house their dad had lived in, and they’d been considering selling it since none of them needed it—but it kind of became a family rest stop instead. Zach lived there for a stretch until he moved in with Carolyn, and Sofia and I lived there for a few months when I first came back to town.”
"Was it not white enough for you?” Lily teased with a grin. “Is that why you aren’t there anymore?”
Yes, actually—though that hadn’t been the whole reason, of course. “It was a little dated in a lot of ways,” I admitted. “Their dad did a good job of maintaining it so the building is still really solid, but the appliances were old and not in great shape, and the furniture wasn’t really kid-friendly. Plus, this location is better: closer to the park, lots of young families. These days, I only go back to the old house for our weekly poker games.”
“Oh, but this whole conversation started because I asked you about bridge!” she said, as if the reference to poker had reminded her. “Was it the Admiral who taught you to play bridge?”
“Yeah. He gauged our personalities and found a way to give each of us something special.” As a teen, I had pretended to my brothers that I didn’t like the game. In truth, I’d loved it. I liked the process of playing and winning, but I loved spending time with the Admiral and his old cronies.
“Bridge requires attention to detail and analytical skills,” she commented. “I can see why he chose that for you. I’m guessing those are his decks, then.”
“Some of them. Others I’ve picked up here and there in my travels. It’s kind of my way of honoring his memory.” I’d never expressed that to anyone before. My brothers were aware of it, but I hadn’t needed to explain to them my desire to maintain that connection with the Admiral.
“That’s really sweet. Thank you for sharing the story with me.” Her eyes were on me, and I expected to feel exposed, but I didn’t. I met her gaze, and a beat of heated silence passed.
How easy would it be to lean in and kiss her? As that thought crossed my mind, she slid off her stool and gathered up the remains of her dinner. Had she sensed what I had? I didn’t dare ask. If she had noticed the chemistry between us, then her choice to step away made it pretty clear that she didn’t think we should go there.
We shouldn’t go there. I was her boss, she was my employee; I was looking for a long-term commitment, and she didn’t want to be tied down. Besides, we were way too different. There were dozens of reasons why kissing would be a terrible idea.
But God, how I wanted to ignore them. I wanted to run my hands through that thick, beautiful hair, wanted to pull her close and feel her body pressed up against mine. Wanted to taste her tempting lips.
“Good night,” I said, as if to force myself to return to our business relationship. “I’ll be leaving early in the morning again, so you’ll have to get Sofia up.”
“Of course,” she said. “Good night.” She went out the back door, and a moment later I heard her enter her apartment. It took every ounce of determination I had to keep from following after her, knocking on her door, seeing if she’d let me in.
But instead, I cleaned up the kitchen and then headed upstairs to bed.
5
COLIN
“Your order will be up in five minutes, hon,” the waitress called to me where I stood at the counter of a little diner not far from my house.
“Thanks.” I took a seat on a stool and accepted the cup of coffee the waitress put in front of me. It had been another long day, but it had an unexpected silver lining: I’d share my dinner with Lily, as I had on other late nights since the one when I’d told her about the Admiral and how I’d gotten close to the McCallisters.
Most of our conversations weren’t so personal. By tacit agreement we’d stuck to talking about Sofia and more general topics, but I was getting to know Lily better. Like tonight: I’d called to see what she wanted from the diner, but I’d accurately predicted her order. Salad with grilled chicken and a piece of lemon meringue pie. She always got dessert, which I teased her about but usually joined her in.
We’d both come to treat our dinners as a casual friend kind of thing, although I tried to pick up the tab for both of us. She was working for me to make money to fund her new life. I didn’t want her spending that cash on buying me dinner.
The waitress went past me, holding up two fingers to indicate my order was almost done. I drained the coffee mug and took a look around the diner. It was fairly busy with couples and families stopping in for a quick meal before going home. The back booth was occupied by just one guy. His head was turned to look out the window as though he was waiting for someone. I studied the man, recognition dawning.
He was one of the men in the hallway of Lily’s apartment building. It had been almost six weeks since I had helped her move, but I remembered the two men distinctly because of Lily’s reaction to them and because of the fact that one of them had seemed familiar to me. The guy in the booth was the one I could have sworn I knew, but just like then, I couldn’t put a name to the man or remember where I’d seen him before.
“Here you go.” The waitress put two bags on the counter in front of me.
“Thanks,” I said and gathered them up. I took one last look at the man, trying to jog my memory, but nothing came. Maybe the guy just had one of those faces that always looked familiar. I shook it off and headed for my truck. If I hurried, I’d get to see Sofia before she was asleep.
“I just put her down,” Lily said as I entered the kitchen five minutes later. “You can probably still catch her awake.” She took the bags from me, and I headed for the stairs.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I said softly, stepping into Sofia’s room. Her big dark eyes turned to me, and an instant smile spread across her face. She sat up in her crib and held her arms toward me.
“Dada,” she cooed when I picked her up.
“I missed you today,” I said as I settled her against me. She burrowed in, too sleepy to talk, so I held her, gently rocking and stroking her back until her breathing slowed and I realized she’d fallen asleep.
“Tomorrow we’ll have fun together,” I whispered into her hair before carefully lowering her into the crib. I tucked the blanket around her and waited just a minute to make sure she wouldn’t wake up again. After giving her a last kiss, I left her room.
Lily
I opened the food bags and plated our dinners. It was part of the little ritual Colin and I had fallen into. He checked on Sofia and returned to eat with me. No harm in a shared dinner, I reasoned, as long as I remembered that we were just employer and employee. That was getting more difficult to do. There was a lot to like about Colin and a lot I found appealing. He was so loving with Sofia, so thoughtful and considerate toward me. And of course, it never hurt to have an absolutely incredible body, which he most definitely did.
“Did you get to say good night?” I asked when Colin joined me in the kitchen.
“She was almost awake,” he said, heading to the refrigerator for a beer.
“I tried to keep her up because I knew you’d be home,” I explained, “but she was zonked after today.”
“Time outside?” He came to sit next to me at the island.
“We walked downtown,” I said, causing him to raise an eyebrow since it was a three-mile round trip. “Sofia rode in the stroller, but we got a lot of fresh air.”
“Any reason for your destination?” he asked, twirling linguine on his fork.
“We peeked in at All That Sparkles,” I said, referring to the jewelry store Colin’s brother’s wife owned. “Sofia demanded to see Aunt Carolyn, but she wasn’t in, so we went to the art school a few doors down. I signed up to take some classes.” He paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. “They won’t interfere with my nanny duties,” I said quickly. “They’re all evening and weekend classes, and I can miss one or two if you need to work late.”
“I wasn’t worried about that.” His expression was puzzled. “If you want to take classes, we’ll work around your schedule. Are you thinking of switching to become an art teacher? I thought math was your area.”
“It was, but I don’t want to teach again, math or anything else. It’s not my passion.” I picked at my salad, debating how much to tell him—but he’d opened up to me about the Admiral and his family. And after weeks of sharing a house, I’d come to trust him. Well, more than that, really: I liked him. A lot. And not in ways a nanny should like her employer. I knew the attraction was mutual—I’d seen the way that he looked at me. And whenever we touched in even the smallest way, I could feel the chemistry between us. I knew what we both wanted…but neither one of us had brought it up, probably because we both knew it was a bad idea. “I ended up in education because it’s sort of a family tradition,” I blurted out. “My dad’s a math professor, and my mom taught high school math before my sibs and I were all born. My grandfather was a science professor, a famous one.”
“Did they put pressure on you to be a teacher, too?”
“Not exactly,” I hedged. “It’s not like they insisted, but it was just sort of expected, you know? They always talked about how teaching is an honorable profession—which I agree with, of course. I have a lot of admiration for teachers. It’s just not for me. I left Hartford Academy because of the situation I told you about with Jasmine—but it was honestly a relief to have a reason to leave. I’d never truly been happy there, but I’d been too afraid to just give up on a steady job that paid well.”
“So, what is your passion? What do you want to do?” His amazing blue eyes focused on me, making me temporarily tongue-tied.
“Art is what I really love. I always have, but my parents treated it like a hobby—something I could do on the side for fun, but not something that counts as a real career, you know? But I think it could be. I think…” I hesitated for just a second before telling him the truth. “I think I want to be a comic book artist. My aunt Maddie is one, and she loves it.” My aunt was always so happy. I had had more fun with her than I’d ever had with my own parents. And she was living proof that art really could be a viable profession, no matter what my parents said.
“I think it might be a tough way to make a living,” Colin said cautiously, but without judgment.
“Probably. The art world can be competitive, but I know Aunt Maddie will help me any way she can. And now that I’m not locked into a teaching schedule, I’d like to pursue it—see if I can raise the bar on my skills so that I can put together a solid portfolio.” I paused but felt bold enough to add, “I’m also working on figuring out the other things in life that I’ve wanted to do and haven’t allowed myself to try.” He smiled at that, which encouraged me to continue. “I feel as though I’ve lived someone else’s version of my life, and I want to live mine.”
“Is that part of being the oldest kid from a big family?”
“I guess. I always had more responsibility than my friends—and more limits. I couldn’t do this or that because of obligations to the family. I even missed my senior prom because of my brother,” I said ruefully.
