Dark Days, page 14
part #1 of The Albatar Chronicles Series
Dismounting outside the stables, she rested her head on Stumpy’s warm flank for a moment. A warm hand on her shoulder, and Sendar’s quiet voice startled her.
“It’ll be all right, Kaz. No matter what happens, you have us, and you have the Lady.”
She drew in a ragged breath and forced herself to smile back at him.
“Welcome, Hunters! And Kazari, welcome back!” It was Jenex, short, round, dark slanting eyes, and brown skin. His well remembered smile wrapped Kazari in warmth. “A bird from Alexando arrived a few hours ago, so your rooms are ready, and Zarchess and I are delighted to have you with us!”
Chapter Seventeen: Meeting Them Again
Kazari walked with Javon towards her family’s home as the spring sun slowly drifted towards the horizon, her Hunter’s boots making unfamiliar sounds on the homely cobblestones. The air was soft, scented with the warm smell of growing things, and each twist and turn along the road set off a new memory like a fountain of sparks inside Kazari’s mind.
She knew her parents and her brothers would be at home, because Andiss had sent a message to them only an hour ago. They’d sent one back confirming they’d be in and ready to see them. He’d shown it to Kazari, and the familiar loops and curls of her mother’s handwriting had almost undone her.
Now, she found her breath quickening, her hands trembling, and her jaw locked. She undid her facial muscles by deliberately wriggling her jaw, and then discovered she was clenching her hands instead of her teeth. Frustrated, she uncurled her fingers one by one as they turned into her family’s street.
The leatherwork shop, its double story housing both the shop and her family’s dwelling, sat in its familiar spot several houses from the corner. Smoke drifted from the chimney, and the windows were lighted against the dusk. Kazari’s breath caught in her throat, and she stumbled to a stop, heart hammering, hand tracing the scar down her face to the corner of her mouth. She took several breaths to try and steady herself.
“Kaz, it will be all right, one way or the other,” said Javon. The other woman tucked an arm around Kazari’s shoulders. “The Lady will be with you. Remember that.” A faint warmth tickled Kazari’s chest, and she dragged her hand from her scar to rest it on the amethyst, now glowing faintly, that hung around her neck.
Kazari nodded mutely, taking strength from that reminder of the Lady’s presence.
“Are you ready?” Javon asked.
Kazari nodded again, wishing she could shake her head, and took a deep breath. “I think so.”
“Then come; the sooner you see your family, the better.” Javon urged her forward, and Kazari drove her legs into action, trying to match the other Hunter’s firm pace. She focused on Javon’s feet, letting the rhythm of her steps drive her forward. Javon’s long legs covered the ground too quickly for Kazari’s comfort, and before she was ready, they were at the entrance to the shop, and Javon was tapping politely on the door.
Footsteps sounded, and as Kazari recognised her father’s firm tread, she nearly broke and ran. What would he say when he saw her face? What would her mother say? But the desire to see them in the flesh, still safe, alive, and unharmed, kept her feet still, despite the tremble in her limbs.
The sound of the latch being lifted set her heart thudding again, and then the door opened, and Kazari could see her father’s familiar frame silhouetted against the light pouring from inside. The brightness behind him hid the expression on his face, and for a moment no-one said anything. Finally, Javon spoke.
“Francon? Might we enter?”
Francon cleared his throat uncomfortably, and then he took two swift steps forward past Javon and gathered Kazari into a bear hug. Slightly stunned, Kazari found her eyes tearing, and as her father’s familiar scent of leather mixed with soap washed over her, wrapped her own arms around him, and hugged him back as tightly as she could. A moment later, two small forms cannoned into her legs and she nearly fell over as Jaden and Piddy, her brothers, joined Francon.
For several long moments, all Kazari could do was hug her brothers and her father. Jaden had grown, she thought, as she finally stepped back, and even little Piddy was taller than she remembered. Her father was unchanged, tall and comforting, and in the faint light, Kazari could see the familiar smile crinkling the corners of his eyelids.
“Please, come on in, Kazari and Hunter…?” he trailed off.
“Dad, this is Javon,” said Kazari.
“Welcome, Hunter Javon.” Francon gestured towards the lighted doorway.
“Just Javon is fine, Francon.”
Despite her father’s warm welcome, Kazari’s stomach twisted with worry again. Her mother hadn’t come to the door. With a little brother attached to each hand, she walked through the leather shop and into the family’s living area. The familiar rooms tugged at her heart. Flames flickered on the hearth, and she could smell roast chicken and vegetables. Her father led them into the kitchen, where Liselt, Kazari’s mother, had just lowered the kettle onto the stove.
Kazari’s heart caught in her mouth as her mother slowly turned around. The woman’s diminutive frame didn’t reduce the force of her personality one bit. Brown eyes found their way unerringly to Kazari’s face, and she had to fight to keep her hands from covering her scar. There was silence thick enough to cut with a knife, and Kazari found that she was holding her breath again.
Hands on her hips, Liselt jerked her head at Kazari’s brothers, who scampered immediately up the stairs at the back of the kitchen. Then she deliberately dried her hands on her apron, removed it, revealing her normal working clothes beneath, then folded her arms on her chest. Kazari regarded her mother nervously, trying to calm her breathing.
She couldn’t take her eyes off her as her mother’s words rolled around and around inside her head. “Some of those who pledge to the Lady die, Kazari – they die, or fall into darkness!” She resisted the urge to cover her scar, but felt her lips begin to tremble, and pressed them together firmly.
“Liselt,” began Francon, but she waved him silent with a hand. Her face, normally lively and full of expression, was unreadable. Kazari had never seen her mother like this. Even the night before the Day of the Choosing when she’d defied her parents, her mother had been full of fire – her normal, forthright, plain-speaking parent – the one who never left her in doubt of how she was feeling, or what she thought.
The person standing before her seemed a stranger, and all of a sudden, Kazari felt as if she was an intruder in her own home. Lady, she whispered silently, what’s happened, where is my mother? As she prayed the words, she realised that was what she was feeling – it was as if her mother had gone away somewhere and this woman standing before her was an imposter of some kind.
The silence stretched endlessly, and Kazari could feel the tension like a taut string in the room – a string that connected them all, but was pulled to breaking point between her mother and herself. She found herself doubting her convictions. Had her departure torn her family apart? Clearly, her father had no reservations about her actions, and her brothers seemed just the same as ever, but her mother? Had her relationship with her husband broken? Had she shut herself away from her other children? And was it all Kazari’s fault?
Behind her, Kazari could feel Javon’s tension. Accustomed to living and travelling with the experienced Hunter for months now, Kazari could feel her coiled caution. She had the feeling that Javon was holding her breath, waiting to see whether either Kazari or Liselt might snap. She stood still, reluctant to be the one who provided the catalyst for disaster. In her mind’s eye, she could see her family disintegrate in front of her. The moments drew out, one by one, until Kazari felt as if she was ready to snap as well.
Still, Liselt didn’t move. Statue-like, she stared at Kazari, blinking only occasionally, as second by second, Kazari’s hopes that her mother might have forgiven her, faded. She wrestled with her emotions, hanging desperately onto the promises of the Lady’s love. She sought the warming of her amethyst, but this time, when she felt she needed it most, the stone stayed cool against her chest.
She tried to rationalise. She was one of the Lady’s servants, with a home at the Abbey forever. She had companions who cared for her – Javon, standing like a shield at her back, and Andiss and Sendar, still with Jenex and Zarchess in the residence at the chapel. She knew they stood with her, no matter what happened with her family. But the imminent loss of something so dear struck her to her heart. The gorgone’s words rang in her mind. I see your family. I hear their fears. And I will come for them. And you will not save them, because this day, you die.
Well, she hadn’t died, but at that moment, she could see her family’s fears – or at least her mother’s – and she began to wonder if the gorgone’s words were words she should not have taken literally, as she had at the time and ever since, but rather, figuratively. Maybe there had been more to them. Perhaps the monster’s words meant that it had heard her mother’s fears and somehow infected her – much as the villagers of Suborden had been infected and changed by the malmetal.
The thought made her knees tremble, and she began to feel faint. The idea of her family under the sway of a gorgone was her most dreadful nightmare. It left her feeling desolate and alone, despite Javon’s sturdy presence at her back.
Then Liselt took a step forward, raising a hand. Kazari flinched back involuntarily, and Liselt’s face paled and her hand trembled.
“No, Kazari – you mistake me,” said Liselt. She raised her other hand, took a swift step forward, and cradled Kazari’s face in her hands. Kazari was horrified to see that her mother was crying. “Darling, I’m sorry.”
“S..sorry?” Kazari stammered.
“Oh, Kaz…you left by yourself. We weren’t there. And now…” Liselt broke off, and swept her daughter into her arms.
Kazari felt her mother’s warm body tremble against her own as she wrapped her own arms around Liselt, tightening them until her mother’s sobs rocked them both and she realised that they were both crying, and that tears were pouring down her own face. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t see, couldn’t feel anything but the warmth of her mother’s body and the strength of her mother’s arms around her.
The stresses of the last months found relief in a fountain of emotion so strong that Kazari had never felt its like. She realised, while still clinging to her mother, that the lack of farewells had gnawed at her constantly, no matter what kind of brave face she’d put on it at the time. The love so evident in her mother’s arms, and her father’s face – now peering slightly anxiously at the pair of them – was like a warm blanket tucked around her.
At last, Kazari was able to step back slightly as her mother’s weeping began to subside. Liselt’s face was blotchy, and her eyes still shone with tears, and she took deep shuddering breaths.
“Mum…” she began.
“No, Kaz, it was my fault. Your father and I knew you’d pledge, but,” she drew a ragged breath, “we – I – just didn’t want to lose you so soon. I was so angry when you left, and it took a long time for that anger to subside.” She looked at Francon, who took one of her hands in his much larger one, squeezing it comfortingly.
“But it did subside at last,” he smiled, “although not before we’d gone through months – and I do mean months – of moods and grumpiness.” Liselt looked embarrassed, blushing slightly, to Kazari’s surprise.
“My behaviour was inexcusable,” she said. “And you know why?” She drew Kazari over to the kitchen table and sat down with her as Francon began to make a pot of tea. Kazari shook her head, wondering. She’d grown up with a feisty mother, who didn’t hesitate to make her displeasure known, but it sounded as if her mother had been…sulking? “It was because I knew you were right to go when you did, and that I was wrong to want to hold you back. My only excuse is that you’re my little girl, and I didn’t want you to go away.”
“Little girl?” Kazari’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.
“Just a figure of speech, Kaz,” said her father, handing her a teacup. “It’s hard for a parent to realise that their children are growing up. Although your mother is taking most of the blame here, I didn’t speak up for you, and I should have.” He looked momentarily embarrassed, but as he handed a cup to Javon, the older Hunter rested a hand on his arm.
“Francon, Liselt, this is not an unusual occurrence. The Lady understands how difficult it is for parents to allow their children to follow their own way. It is what she must do with each of us. The Writings tell us that: ‘Each person must use their own free will to decide their way.’”
Both Liselt and Franco looked at Javon, surprised, while Kazari mused on her mentor’s words. Her task as Hunter seemed even more important. And more difficult than she’d ever imagined. Perhaps it wasn’t just the physical threat of gorgones that a Hunter fought.
“Mum, Dad,” said Kazari. “I love you both, nothing can ever change that. And I’m just so glad to be here.” She paused, because her throat had closed, and she wasn’t certain she could get the words out without bursting into tears all over again. She took a breath, feeling the tightness ease, and went on. “And you’re safe, which is all that matters.”
She heard an indrawn breath from her mother, and realised she’d said more than she should have, and looked uncomfortably towards Javon. Javon shook her head slightly, and tapped her chest very briefly with one finger. Kazari took that to mean she was to stop talking and let Javon handle things, but she had a feeling that the other Hunter might have a few things to say to her in private later and sighed inwardly.
“Kazari has been having nightmares,” said the Hunter. “Nightmares in which the two of you figured. The Abbot felt it appropriate that she should return to her home village on a brief visit to reassure herself that you are well, which is why we’re here a little ahead of schedule.” Well, all of that was true, thought Kazari, impressed with Javon’s prevarication. Initiates did return to their home towns, but not usually until they were well trained, and she had been having nightmares.
“Nightmares?” said Liselt, surprised. “What kind of nightmares, Kaz?”
Kazari squirmed uncomfortably. “Just horrible ones, you know? And you and Dad are in them, and you’re always in trouble, and I can’t get to you to help you.” And all of that was true as well. Except she’d omitted the bits that featured the unseen gorgone torturing them, or killing them, and she hadn’t mentioned her brothers at all.
“Kaz, darling, why?” asked her father.
Kazari wriggled again and shrugged her shoulders, but Javon spoke again.
“We’ve been concerned that Kazari’s difficult leave-taking left her unduly anxious, and as you can imagine, a Hunter must be very focused on her craft. We wished to set her mind at ease.” Kazari nodded as Javon spoke.
“Of course,” replied Liselt, “But I have one more question. What happened to her face?”
Kazari froze momentarily, uncertain of how to answer, but Javon went on without missing a beat.
“Once our initiates reach a certain level of skill, they go into the field. That scar was caused by a sucker.”
“A sucker!” exclaimed Francon. “You’ve already fought a sucker, Kaz?” He looked horrified.
Kazari nodded again, unwilling to speak lest she say something else out of turn. Like mentioning exactly where she’d got the scar. The Abbot had impressed upon them all the need to keep the specific details of Suborden quiet, so that the Hunters and Navigators still in the field would be able to follow up any leads from people who appeared to have more information than was publicly available.
“But, a sucker!” Liselt was aghast. “They’re dangerous!”
Javon nodded. “All gorgones are dangerous, Liselt – as the Lady reminds us in her Writings – however, to a Hunter, they are the least of our foes. Kazari may have a scar on her face, but she has already dispatched a number of suckers. You can be very proud of her.”
“You have?” asked Francon. “A number of suckers?”
“Yes, several,” replied Kazari, trying to keep her answers short. “I really should have been more careful with this one, though.” She touched the scar, forcing herself to keep her hand steady. Her mother leaned forward and peered at it, tracing it with a gentle fingertip.
“It seems well healed, and it will fade with time, I suppose.” But her face was troubled, and Kazari wished there was some way she could reassure her mother that nothing worse would happen to her.
“Careful?” her father snorted. “I’d be running in the other direction, not being ‘careful.’” He looked at his daughter again, and this time Kazari could tell he was seeing her differently. “You’ve changed, love.” He stepped quickly over, and placed a firm hand on her shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. “You’ve muscled up, and you look – confident?”
“I spend a lot of time exercising now, Dad,” Kazari said, glad to be off the subject of suckers. She sipped her tea and went on. “I have to run a lot, and I’ve learned to ride a horse.”
Francon snorted with laughter. “Run? Really? Since when?”
“Since I joined the Hunters, Dad. I nearly died the first week!”
Her father laughed and the mood in the room lightened, as Javon elaborated on what was expected of a new Hunter. Liselt called the boys back down again, and from the rapidity with which they appeared, Kazari figured they’d been listening from the top of the stairs. Still, it was nice to be home again, and the evening progressed nicely. But later, as Kazari walked back to the chapel with Javon, she couldn’t shake the memory of her mother’s troubled face. Despite the warmth of her reunion with Liselt, she knew her mother would remember that her daughter was a Hunter for the Lady, not a Grower, or a Healer, or even a Judicar, and would thereafter spend her life worrying that she was on the front line of the battle against the gorgones.
