Seeds of Our Future, page 15
“Mary, I want you to be happy, but you realize that Edward is on the pairing list, don’t you? For your own sake, maybe you shouldn’t get too attached. Maybe just keep it light.”
“Practicing your parenting skills already?”
“It’s none of my business, just that I care about you. Alright, no more talk about Edward. What’d you think of our pairing ceremony?”
“I had so much fun. Thank you for asking me. It was a true highlight of my life.”
“It was perfect, wasn’t it? Thank you for agreeing to be my witness. I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side. You’re my best friend, you know. A little uptight, but I can live with that,” she said smiling.
“Thanks, I think.”
“You looked gorgeous in that dress, too, even if it did get suspiciously dirty by the end of the evening.”
“Clumsy. I had a headache, so I thought I’d rest away from the crowd for a few minutes, but it was dark and when I got up, my shoe must have caught on a small hole or something. Before I knew it, I tripped and fell. I went down.”
“If you say so. Seeing Edward again?”
“As a matter of fact, I am. And you can wipe that grin off your face. I told you, don’t make more of it than it is. I’d appreciate it if you don’t say any more about it to Jorge. Our talk is between us.”
“I know that, but Jorge is Edward’s close friend. They can talk about whatever they want, including the fact that he likes you and he’s on the list.”
“Damn it, Ena, stop pushing, will you?”
“Fine, fine, lets change the subject. Have the boys from the building contacted you again?”
Mary was caught a little off guard about the direct questioning about the boys. She and Ena had not discussed this subject since their last little confrontation. She did her best to keep her composure sufficiently to lie and not be caught. “Not yet,” she replied. “But they obviously know how to contact me if they want to. Whatever. If the stuff about having a nephew is true then I hope they do,” Mary said a little too defiantly, feeling her cheeks flush once again. “You haven’t discussed anything about that meeting with Jorge, have you?”
“I told you before, what happened that night is between us. Strange that they haven’t contacted you again. They wanted something from you.” Ena starred at her curiously.
Mary felt her cheeks flush and worried that Ena might be able to read her expression. “Whatever. I should get back to my desk,” Mary said, leaning in for a hug before her face gave her away. “You two threw a great party. I’ll never forget it.”
“Yeah, me neither.”
Chapter 26
Enlightenment
“Mary, back so soon?” Doc asked. “It’s not yet time for your shots, is it?”
“I need to talk to you about something else,” she confided, “something important.” Mary thought back to Axel’s question: did she trust Doc? She did, but he opened a sliver of doubt in her mind. Things she couldn’t reconcile gnawed at her, like Doc’s unsatisfactory answer about how he was able to get Joey admitted into the Care Place. On the other hand, she knew this was probably just silliness. Of course, she trusted him. He was her father’s best friend, her guardian. Surely, she could ask him anything.
“Wait a minute. Did that kid from the funeral contact you again?”
“That’s not why I’m here.” Mary was getting better at avoiding the truth. “I need to ask you something that’s been on my mind. Are you one of the doctors who makes someone an Outcast? I mean, do you administer the final booster shot?”
“I’m the man who delivers beautiful babies, who grow to become accomplished surrogate daughters who barge into my office to give me a hard time. You know this about me already. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I want to know . . . what’s in the final shot?”
“Are you asking about the chemical makeup?”
“I mean, is it different from the shots you give me every month?”
“It’s a booster shot, you know that. Why are you asking?”
“You’re evading the question,” she said, surprised by his response. “Is it different or not?” Doc’s pause was deafening. “Oh, so you’re not going to tell me?”
“I will, but you’re not going to like the answer. Sometimes unpleasant things are necessary. They’re in place to protect us, to protect you.”
“Be straight with me. I’m not a child anymore.”
“Sit,” he ordered. “Generations ago, yes, they gave a booster shot. It bought the new Outcast additional time and helped to stave off disease for a while from complications from the rays to their immune systems.”
“What’s different now?”
Doc slumped in his chair and rubbed his face. “No, it’s not like your monthly shots, not like what it used to be. It’s a shot that guarantees things will be over quickly. It ensures the person will get sick sooner.”
“What? Wait. That sounds like the opposite of what it used to be. Are you saying it’s a lethal injection? That’s. . . that’s murder. Why would the Program do that? Did they do that to Joey? Did you know about this? You didn’t tell me or . . . or stop it?”
“Listen to me. The new Outcast would eventually die anyway. This shot simply weakens their immune system, makes them more susceptible to diseases, like cancer. Bottom line, they die quicker. I assure you it’s more humane, better than the alternative for everyone.”
“What alternative? Everyone who? Hell, why doesn’t the Program just poison or shoot them if that’s what all of you believe?”
“Because, Mary, that would be murder. And anyway, we both know how important appearances are to the Program. They would never execute them. Think of the community outcry. “
“Oh . . . my . . . God! Who are you? I need to leave.”
“Stop, Mary. The shot doesn’t make them sick. It simply makes them more susceptible to disease.”
“That’s just semantics!”
“You’re wrong. There’s a big difference. And you don’t have a right to look at me or talk to me that way. I told you, I don’t give final injections. I had nothing to do with whatever shot Joey received. I loved that boy. If I could have done something to stop him from becoming an Outcast, I would have. It was out of my hands.”
“How I hate deceit, all these lies. I hate this Program and everything about it.”
“Per usual, you refuse to see the bigger picture. It’s not only because it’s more humane. They administer that shot because Outcasts have caused trouble. They’ve stolen from us, they’ve kidnaped our children. We can’t stand by and let that happen.”
“I don’t believe that excuse to justify murder. The Program administers that injection knowing they’ll become sick and die. What a horrible thing to do to another human being. And if they were going to get sick and die anyway, why bother?”
“I told you why. You don’t want to believe that Outcasts have done bad things or that the Program has to take distasteful steps for the good of everyone, but it’s the truth. You say you’re not a kid anymore? Then stop being so naïve. Do you think people like us could stand up to an aggressive Outcast who has never had protection drugs? Of course not. When new healthy Outcasts steal or kidnap, we’re defenseless. They’re leaches on our resources, on our society. Yes, they give them the shot so they probably get sick sooner, less time for them to cause trouble and, with any luck, they die on their side of the wall.”
“How unbelievably callous of you. It makes me sick, hearing you, a doctor, buy into this thinking. I hate what the Program has done to good people like you.”
“Listen, you barged in here, demanding to know the truth, and I told you. I don’t make the rules. You’ve been protected in ways you’re not even aware of and handed everything. Maybe try being appreciative, happy.”
“Be happy? Are you serious? My mother, father, and sister are dead, possibly murdered. Joey is dead from a shot that the Program gave him. How can I be happy? Who are these monsters making our rules? No, I’m not happy, and you shouldn’t be happy, either.”
“Don’t tell me what I should be, young lady. And, for your information, Joey likely didn’t die from the final injection. He lived much longer than its supposed effectiveness. Your father didn’t do you any favors by saving that notebook. Things have changed. Back when that was written, Outcasts weren’t stealing, threatening, or kidnaping people. Not everyone has the stomach to make rules that protect our way of life. The Program figured that little fact out long after your great grandfather finished his notebook. Do you think you could do it, be a Program leader? Easy to complain when you don’t feel threatened, when you’re always safe and protected by others.”
“I could be a leader, and I wouldn’t behave the way they do. I understand the difference between right and wrong. What they do is wrong, and shame on you for trying to justify their actions to me.”
“You’re convinced the Program is so bad, but who is starving, freezing, living on the streets? Who doesn’t have a job or get life-saving medications? No one. Everyone is taken care of. We’re a peaceful community. We share everything – the population, the resources, the food, the medicine. It’s all carefully balanced, and the Program leaders manage that. Otherwise we would live in chaos.”
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. You told me you thought the Program killed my family.”
“Yes, I told you that, and I also maintain the Program does many good things. You forget. Your father broke the rules. He knew his decision would get him into trouble. But he did whatever he wanted to, even to the point of endangering his family and friends. I recognize my honesty in divulging that history has put both of us in jeopardy. So, it’s your turn now. You tell me honestly, why are you asking about that booster shot? Who made you ask?”
How did he know? Mary’s mind raced as she tried to think of a believable excuse. She realized she couldn’t tell Doc that Axel had asked her to find out about the final injection, that could possibly jeopardize future visits with Jude.
“Joey got sick so quickly. He . . . he died too soon. That’s not how life is supposed to be!”
“What are you talking about? He lived for years longer than any Outcast I know, and I did what I could for him. I helped get him into the Care Place, and you told me on many occasions that you thought they took good care of him until his last days. What else do you want from me?”
“I no longer think they took good care of him, and I can’t believe you don’t have any human compassion for the Outcasts.”
“Compassion for Outcasts? You’re talking to the wrong person. I won’t support criminals and kidnappers. Now do you have anything else for me, or are we done here?”
Mary could feel her face warming and her heart rate climb. She needed to go, she thought, if she didn’t want to experience another violent episode. She knew Doc wasn’t the enemy. He was brainwashed by bad experiences. “If you’re going to lump all Outcasts in the same basket, we’re quite done,” she said calmly. “You can’t believe they murdered my family and at the same time think the Program is good. That’s not rational.”
“Your doctor and closest friend, not rational? OK. I can live with that. But let me remind you, both our lives are now in your hands. Say something outside this room about the final injection and see what happens – to both of us. I probably should have lied, but I didn’t. I respect your right to know. I don’t make the rules but, unlike others, I do not to break them and put people at risk.”
Mary felt the sting of that statement, and it hurt to hear Doc’s intentional cruelty. “Got it, Doc. Your secrets are safe with me.” Mary said, no longer attempting to conceal her disdain. She had the answer Axel wanted but, in the process, probably lost a good friend.
“And you’ve told me a lot about yourself by not answering my question, young lady.” With that, Doc left the examination room.
Chapter 27
Test Results
A few weeks passed before Axel surprised Mary, this time on her walk home from work. He pulled her into the recessed front entryway of an abandoned factory near the blue building. “Ready to see Jude again?”
“I wish you would quit sneaking up on me.”
“No time for manners.”
Axel quickly led Mary to a tunnel in the back alley of the factory. “We wanted to see if we could trust you to not tell anyone about the other tunnel. You didn’t disappoint us. We’re sealing this tunnel soon. It’s too exposed, but it’ll be all right for us to use tonight.”
“I didn’t tell anyone about the tunnel or our meeting.”
“That was smart,” he smiled. “But, of course, we knew that. I asked you to do something for me. Did you get it done?”
“How can you be sure I didn’t tell anyone? Do you follow me around and listen to my conversations?” Mary asked, surprised that he knew she hadn’t told anyone.
Axel waited for her answer. He knew she wanted to see Jude more than he needed confirmation about the contents of the final injection.
Mary broke the tense standoff. “I spoke to Doc. He’s not involved with the final injections, but he knew about them.” She paused, thinking how hard she been hard on Doc and that now, in a way, by answering Axel’s question she was betraying him. She felt guilty.
“So, what did he say?”
Without Doc’s efforts, Mary would never have been able to visit her brother. He didn’t give Joey that final shot, and he didn’t make the rules. Doc loved her brother and would have done anything for him. Yet here she was, dishonoring one of her best friends.
“Well?” He said displaying his impatience.
“The Program gives Outcasts something that impairs their immune systems and makes them get sick sooner and die quickly.”
“And what now? Do you still trust him?”
“I do. He’s a victim of the system, but he has no sympathy for Outcasts.” Mary bowed her head sadly as she thought to herself that her brother had been one of those unfortunate people that had been given that final injection. She was confused by his lack of concern. “Axel did you hear what I said? The Program intentionally infects them. That’s murder – and all you ask me is if I trust him?”
“I heard you.”
“You’re not surprised by this information?”
“Not surprised. Our spies move back and forth through the tunnels every day to collect intelligence. All you did was confirm what we already suspected.”
“Then what was the point? That confrontation may have cost me a good friend.” Now she really felt guilty for betraying Doc’s trust. “Who told you about the booster shot?”
Axel’s face reddened, and he gritted his teeth and growled. “For the last time, I said to drop it. Now do you want to visit with Jude or not?”
Hearing his tone of voice Mary, backed down. “Of course, I want to, but I don’t appreciate being manipulated. That’s going to stop if trust is the goal here.”
“You help us, we help you. It’s that simple,” he said, now calmer, making sure he had the final word. “He’s waiting. Later I have something I want you to see.”
“Oh wait, damn it! Damn it. I forgot someone’s coming by my apartment later.”
Exasperated, he yelled, “You either want to see Jude or not.”
“I do, I want to see Jude . . . but you expect me to drop everything on a moment’s notice, as if I have no other plans? Maybe next time, you can . . .”
“Do you honestly think I operate at your convenience?”
“Never mind. I’ll make up something. Fine, let’s go.”
As they came out of the tunnel Mary saw a small group of people who appeared to be performing a ritual, bowing up and down and waving their arms high in the air. When they saw Mary, they stopped. Mary pulled back.
“They’re gawking mostly because you look like Joey and Jude and your dad and partly because you’re a pale white woman with red hair,” he said, laughing. “They are praying to the Lokapalas to give thanks for our land and food and for protection from our enemy.”
“Lokapalas?”
“Yes, our god.”
“But who do they want protection from?”
“You. The people on the other side of the wall.”
“And you said my dad came here? So those people know who I am, that I’m Joey’s sister?”
“They do. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be safe to bring you. Wait here, I’ll get you in a minute.”
Mary found the wait excruciating. In the distance, Raj and another person from the group walked over to Axel with Jude. Raj acknowledged Mary with a tilt of his head. Finally, Axel walked back toward her holding the little boy’s hand. Mary gingerly approached, hoping not to startle him. Jude did not back away.
As Mary played with the boy, an overwhelming feeling of happiness came over her. She loved storytelling and playing hand games with her nephew.
After ten minutes Axel declared, “OK, you two, it’s getting late. Jude needs to go. The group is waiting for him. Anyway, I need to show you something outside the dead zone before dark.”
An older man from the group came and took Jude’s hand from her, and they marched away. Mary lingered, waving goodbye kisses to Jude who, as he waddled off, kept turning his head back and stumbling over himself to see her.
Axel tugged on Mary’s right arm, “Come on. You had your visit. We need to move now.”
Reluctantly she turned toward him and started walking. “What did you say about a dead zone? Like for people’s ashes after they die?”
