Songstone, page 12
Matiko wants the power of the mists.
He’s sick and dying—I remembered his cough and the bloody spit—and he wants to live. Or something.
He needed me to do that—he needed my blood.
The realization pricked me as sharply as one of his terrible sharpened bird bones.
“Don’t bother lying.” Kaikanu’s face hardened.
“But it’s true! I was found by a village girl, and Matiko made me his servant when I was eight.”
Kaikanu gave a snort. “Of course you’d lie. You were raised by him, weren’t you? Why did he send you?”
“He didn’t send me!” Why didn’t he believe me? I was telling the truth—the truth—and he still didn’t believe me.
“Stop. I know you lived with him.” Kaikanu rose and cast a menacing shadow over me. “You’d do anything for him. He’s your father now.”
“No!” Bright spots blinded me. I wished I could make him stop. I wished I could make him listen.
“Or maybe you want the necklace. You’re only half Huwi, like me, so you’d need it to grasp your Huwi powers.”
“I didn’t know—”
“Well, you can’t have it.”
“I don’t want it!”
His eyes flickered with a horrible understanding. “That greedy, evil man wants everything, doesn’t he? He wants the power of the mists, but he needs blood.” He looked around, and his eyes fell on a sleeping girl, curled on the sand with her fist tucked under her chin. “You’ve come to steal some child to bring back with you—”
“No!” I leaped up and shoved him, too furious for words. How dare he say these things? How dare he—
The vines around me tightened, pulsing with light and pain.
Kaikanu grabbed my throat and threw me to the ground. He pressed down, choking me. I struggled to pull his hands away, but he was too strong. All his hatred for me and for Matiko burned in his eyes. Then Pono was there, crouching beside us. He placed his hands over Kaikanu’s, but didn’t thrust him away. Why not? Kaikanu was choking me. I gurgled helplessly, trying to get a breath.
Wrestle him to the ground! Pound him with your fists!
“Let her go,” Pono said calmly, but there was an edge to his voice I’d never heard before.
Yes, let me go.
I realized I was clawing at Kaikanu’s shoulder. Pono shook his head at me and I stared at him, confused into stillness. Why? Why aren’t you fighting him? He shook his head again. I squeezed my eyes closed and forced my body to go limp. I prayed to the spirits:
I don’t want to die.
I don’t want to die.
“Let her go,” Pono said firmly. “Matiko hurt her.” He paused, but Kaikanu’s hold didn’t weaken. “Listen to me! He hurt her. He stole her breath—I think he would have killed her.”
Through the pain, I could almost feel the gentle warmth of Pono’s hands through Kaikanu’s grip, and then, miraculously, the pressure on my throat wasn’t so tight. I could sip in air. Pono pulled Kaikanu’s hands away. He set them aside like a discarded paka belt. Pono rested his hands on my throat and soothed the crushed, sore places with his fingertips. The crushing pain lifted.
Kaikanu turned his back on me.
“Matiko...stole blood...from me.” I threw the words at him. My voice was weak and hoarse, which made me angry. I glared at his back, piercing him with all my bitter hatred. So this was what it was like to have a brother. Ha! I was better off without one.
Ai! Look how quickly you become the old Kita again, I sneered at myself. In one moment, I’d gone from never wanting to return to my old ways to attacking Kaikanu.
I wanted him to suffer.
I wouldn’t forgive him.
That was impossible.
How stupid to think I’d changed. People never changed.
I pushed Pono’s hands away—and his stupid, soothing, impossibly warm fingers—and scrambled to my feet. Without looking at either of them, I stumbled away. Kaikanu didn’t try to stop me this time. My moko lay silently on my skin. Maybe it was gone. I didn’t care.
I turned to weave through the sleeping bodies strewn around the fire. As I picked my way past each person, I realized the whole fishing party was awake now, watching me. The warriors climbed to their feet, but no one grabbed me or blocked my path. As soon as I broke free from their midst, I ran. I didn’t know where I was going—didn’t fully have my breath yet. I just ran.
Twelve
“KITA! WAIT!” It was Pono, of course.
I couldn’t see. Stupid, stupid tears—I never cried. A sob broke from my lips, and I slapped my hand over my mouth. I ran and ran, the beach an endless, sodden river of sand beneath my feet.
How dare he choke me? To choke me, of all things! To say those horrible things.
I heard the dull thud of heels striking sand behind me. His shadow stretched across the beach beside me. I tried to run faster, but pain stabbed my side. My legs wobbled. I had nothing left to give. I could only suck in one more ragged breath that practically ripped my lungs apart.
As he grabbed the back of my dress, I lost my balance and fell. We landed in the sand, a tangled heap of limbs. All I could see was a blur of dark hair and warm golden skin, but I knew it was Pono. His knee knocked into my shin. His elbow jabbed into my ribs. The impact knocked the air from my lungs in a pained whoosh. I tried to stay still as he quickly sorted himself out and propped himself up on his forearms. He lifted his weight off, but he was still so close I could feel his breath on my cheek.
Our eyes locked and his expression shifted. His gaze drifted to my lips, and my heart started pounding like a wild thing. I was sure he could feel it against his chest. He was so...close. As the little edges of my pain faded away, all I could think about was the time he’d breathed for me when we were escaping Matiko. How would it feel to have his lips touch mine when he wasn’t just keeping me alive? It was a crazy thought, but then he slowly lowered his mouth to mine, and I stopped thinking altogether.
He angled his head and moved his mouth softly over mine, as if tasting my flavor. Where my lips were as numbing cold as sea water, his were warm and smooth. Little shivers swept over me, but I couldn’t tell if I was shivering on the inside or out. Or both. I didn’t know what to do, whether to move my lips against his or stay still. My heart kept pounding, threatening to break free from my chest.
It was Pono who finally, slowly, broke off the kiss. He didn’t pull away completely, but rested his lips against my forehead, much like you’d greet a loved one after a long journey. No one had ever greeted me that way, not even Noni. We’d never really been separated as children, of course. Then later, Matiko took me away, and there was his spell.... Now, with Pono, well, he might as well have said he—
No. I couldn’t imagine what Pono was saying. Maybe his neck was just tired and it had been an accident. I swallowed thickly as he shifted his head to one side. The slightly roughened edge of his jaw burned a light trail across my cheek. I trembled at the tingling warmth it left behind. I trembled with pleasure and anxious nerves, and I didn’t know what else. Then he was nuzzling the hollow of my neck just below my ear, and I couldn’t move at all, not even if I’d wanted to—and I didn’t. I’d never noticed how sensitive my skin was there. I could even feel the lightest movement of air as he exhaled and breathed in, as if gathering my scent. I flushed with a fiery heat, wondering if I smelled good or bad. I certainly didn’t smell like coconut butter, not like him. Not like the faint delicious scent that was teasing my nose.
Pono lifted his head and met my eyes.
“Why didn’t you fight him?” I whispered, my voice hoarse from Kaikanu’s hold and from running. I hadn’t meant to say anything; the question just fell from my mouth.
For one long, awkward moment, Pono didn’t say anything. He just pulled his mouth into a small, flat smile that didn’t tell me anything. My heart squeezed into a painful knot, and I didn’t know where to look.
He rolled to his feet, somehow doing it without crushing me completely. He reached down for my hands, and, as he tugged me to my feet, I saw a flash of movement up the beach. The hairs on my neck rose. For one wild moment, I thought it was Matiko, hunting me with spears and bones. I narrowed my eyes and could see that whoever it was had red hair, like mine, and he had a strong, youthful build—definitely not Matiko. I relaxed my painfully tight grip on Pono’s hands, realizing as I did that my body had tensed and I was ready to run. My eyes sharpened on the man. It was Tautumi. How much had he seen? Had he seen Pono kissing me? From the stiff set of his shoulders, I guessed he’d seen everything.
Tautumi strode across the beach toward us. He’d be upon us soon.
I spun toward Pono, intending to ask him my question again, but as soon as my eyes met his, I quickly looked away. Would I ever be able to look at him again without this aching feeling of self-consciousness?
“Pono—” I whispered.
“There were Huwi warriors all around,” he said it so very calmly, but he stood as if braced for an attack. As if he thought I’d try to knock him down. “If I’d struck Kaikanu, we’d both be dead.”
I swallowed his words and nodded.
“What else would you have me do?” he burst out, dragging a hand through his hair.
“No, you’re right. You couldn’t fight him.”
“I wanted to.”
“You did?” A smile pulled at my lips.
“Of course. I—” He stopped and looked toward Tautumi, who was much closer, kicking up sand with each long, angry stride.
Tautumi reached us and stood silently for a moment. He looked from Pono to me, and then out across the rolling waves. He scratched the back of his neck. A muscle jumped in his jaw, revealing he was clenching his teeth.
“You must return with me now,” he said. Without another word, he turned, his tight posture commanding us to follow him without arguing.
* * *
As we walked into the fishing camp, I felt the crackle of activity in the air, like heat lightning. Everyone was up, packing baskets and loading them on their backs. As Kaikanu watched me return, his lips twisted into a hard line. He quickly turned away and waved the camp forward. From there, he led us on the long hike up the mountain, back to the fire mound, where the others were waiting with their baskets packed and ready. In a matter of moments, we were all climbing again, higher and higher up the mountain, barely pausing to drink whenever we crossed a stream.
Pono stayed by my side. His presence felt like a protective shield, warding off Kaikanu and the other warriors who kept glaring at me, as if expecting me to work some terrible spell...as if they saw Matiko when they looked at me.
He’s your father now.
Kaikanu had said that. I kept hearing those words over and over again in my mind. I shook my head, repulsed. Matiko would never be my father. If only they all knew the truth. If only they’d seen what he’d done to me. What he’d done to my village. As if I could love Matiko.
Never.
When the trail turned to rocks, I struggled to make it up a steep incline. Pono grabbed my elbow and helped me up, his touch like fire on my arm. Everything he did now seemed to burn me.
Tautumi walked along with us, but he kept his eyes to the trail and didn’t speak much. I missed the easy friendship we’d shared yesterday, when we’d played in the sea like children. It seemed so long ago now, as if I’d imagined it. I noticed Pono glancing at Tautumi too. Pono’s shoulders seemed stiff, and he was frowning. He dragged his spear behind him in the dirt, not even bothering to use it as a walking stick. I missed that too.
Kaikanu and the hiri were always in my sight, mocking me. Where the hiri’s sweet trill had once gladdened my heart, it now grated on my nerves. My mother couldn’t possibly be a bird. It didn’t possess some “essence of her spirit.” Even though I denied it, a quiet inner voice insisted it had to be true.
The vines beneath the surface of my skin shimmered to life. My moko was still there. So I was still under Kaikanu’s magic hold. I wasn’t free.
A familiar bitterness filled me and hardened my heart to a fist-sized rock. It lay heavy in my ribs, dragging me down. I grimaced, remembering how, just yesterday, I’d imagined I’d left all my anger behind in the village with Matiko. Now yesterday was just a memory. Things would never be the same again.
I felt an unexpected flicker of longing for laughter and splashing water. I also longed for another impossibly soft kiss.
I blushed at the memory and glanced at Pono. He caught me looking and reached for my hand. He walked along, holding my hand, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, but to me it was amazing. Tautumi looked at our joined hands and narrowed his eyes. He turned away and stared at the path, but not before I heard him mutter what sounded suspiciously like a curse.
I squirmed. Using the narrow path as an excuse, I slipped my hand from Pono’s and fell behind him. I’d never had a boy look at me with interest, let alone two. Maybe it should have been exciting or flattering. Yesterday it had been both. Now...I just felt like I was being twisted apart. I liked them both.
No. Like was too pale a word for what I felt for Pono. He’d run from Matiko’s house with me. He’d marked me with his kiss. His jaw had burned a mark across my cheek too. I could still feel where his body had pressed against mine, when we’d fallen together. We were linked together, like two strands of a rope in the same net, forever touching.
“Pono?” I said.
He looked at me and raised one brow. “What?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Did you...did you know Tautumi could speak our language? I mean, before we went fishing. If you did, why didn’t you...tell me?”
“No,” he answered simply, without hesitating. He didn’t rush, didn’t defend. With a small frown, he reached for my hand and clasped it again.
“Oh.” I was achingly aware of his fingers forming a warm band around mine. “I...I thought maybe you already knew. You didn’t seem surprised.”
He glanced at me, as if trying to judge my mood. “Surprised? No, not really.”
“Why not? I mean, I was surprised.”
“Not much surprises me.” Again, he answered without hesitating. Like he always told the truth, which was impossible, of course.
“Everyone is surprised sometimes.” I thought of all the horrible surprises Matiko had given me in my life and grimaced. “Haven’t you ever been surprised?”
“I suppose.”
“When?”
He shrugged my question away.
“Just one time?” I said, probing.
He hesitated. Now he hesitated. As if the answer was hard to find. He frowned and looked off into the distance.
“One time?” he asked.
“Just one.”
He slowed and just looked at me, his expression thoughtful.
“When you smiled,” he finally said. “Your smile surprised me. And your eyes, at first. I’d never seen eyes like yours. They’re green, like leaves.” His expression was so sincere I couldn’t doubt what he was saying. It did strange things to me, making my heart bump a few unsteady beats.
“I like leaves,” he muttered and picked up his pace.
I couldn’t have spoken then, even if I’d had a hundred more questions. My body felt curiously light, as if I could float into the sky and join the clouds.
* * *
Much later, we stood facing a wall of rock. Two Huwi warriors were already making the climb. At the top, they looped the ends of two ropes around rocks and lowered the loose ends down. The rest of the Huwi began climbing up the ropes.
Tautumi sped up one rope with a small girl clinging to his neck. As I watched him, impressed by his strength and agility, the hiri flew around my head. I eyed it with suspicion. Who’d ever heard of a woman becoming a bird? It couldn’t be true. I shifted my weight, uncomfortably aware of the tale I’d told Pono about Matiko becoming a lizard. How long ago that seemed. He’d seen through my story and, at the time, had made me so angry. I couldn’t look at him now. It was so embarrassing that I’d made up that ridiculous story. He must have thought I was such a child.
When the hiri tried to land on my shoulder, I jerked back.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” I muttered, waving it away. To my dismay, my hands were shaking.
I looked up at the wall of rock, trying to ignore the bird. It just reminded me of the day I’d seen it trapped in a snare and how I’d climbed up to rescue it.
How I’d fallen and had the breath knocked out of me.
I could fall again, I thought as I looked up the cliff. It would be so easy, just one little slip. I clenched my fists, fighting my fear.
“You first,” Pono said. He stood at my elbow, a funny little wry smile on his face. He handed me the rope. “Grip tight, and plant your feet. There’s Tautumi, see? He’ll pull you up.”
Feeling my skin warm to his touch, I swallowed my fear. After looping the rope around my waist like I’d seen the other girls do, I gripped it tight. Pono braced his hands on my shoulders, pushing me upwards, as Tautumi pulled the rope. Eventually, I felt Pono’s hands fall away from my back and I was walking up the wall without him.
The hiri hovered close by, watching me. I averted my eyes. How could I have ever considered it a friend?
“My mother is not a bird,” I muttered. “Matiko is not my uncle. And Kaikanu”—I practically spat his name—“is not my brother.”
Tautumi stopped pulling, and I saw him looking down at me. His brow was wrinkled. “Then who are you?”
I hadn’t realized he was close enough to hear.
“I—” I sucked in a hard lump of air. It sank down into my chest, twisting as it went.
He was right—if I wasn’t Kaikanu’s lost sister, who was I?
