Her Forbidden Amish Child, page 16
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Of all the nerve! Who did he think he was? She was never going to speak those words and put that weapon in his hands.
“You can’t order me around. You’re not my husband. You never will be. As soon as I can, I’ll take Sam back to my bruder’s farm. I won’t be working here and, except at church, we won’t be seeing you anymore,” she said.
His eyes clouded with pain, and he shook his head. He opened his mouth, as if he was about to say something, but he didn’t get the chance.
A small gasp caused them to turn simultaneously. Sam stood in the doorway, holding his red lunch box with both hands. Lovina must have just dropped him off. Tessa had no idea how much of their conversation he’d overheard. From his wide, uncertain eyes and trembling chin, he’d heard plenty.
Without a word, the boy dropped his lunch box, then whirled around and ran into the kitchen.
“Sam!” Tessa called after him, but he scrambled out the back door.
She hurried after him, but he was way too fast. Flinging the screen door wide, she raced out into the alley just as Sam disappeared around the corner. By the time she got to the end of the lane, he was gone. For several minutes, she called to him, jogging up and down the street looking for him, to no avail.
She turned and found Caleb right behind her.
“Did you see which way he went?” he asked. He had been searching, too.
“Ne, I don’t know where he is. He’s never run away from me like this. I know he’s upset, Caleb. But... I... I’m sorry I said those things to you. Sam loves you, and I know he wouldn’t like it if he couldn’t see you anymore. But I won’t be with a man who doesn’t love me. I can’t accept your pity.”
His jaw went slack, and he stared at her in surprise. “Tessa, who said I pity you? Who said I don’t love you?”
She shook her head emphatically. “Please don’t pretend. Not right now. I’ve got to find Sam. He’s too young to be running around town on his own. He could get hurt or...or anything.”
She heard the panic in her own voice, and her mind went wild with all the bad things she imagined could happen to her son. Her fear must have shown on her face, because Caleb reached out and squeezed her shoulder.
“You’re right. We can wait. Don’t worry. We’ll find him,” he said.
His reassuring smile gave her comfort, and she realized she’d come to rely on this man. Even though she’d hurt him, he’d given her a job. He’d been kind and protective. And look how she’d repaid him. It only reconfirmed that she didn’t deserve such a good man as him.
As soon as she found Sam, she would swallow her pride and send word to her brother to come and pick her and Sam up along with all their few possessions and move them back to his farm. She’d never be fully independent again, nor would she ever marry. It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t what she wanted. But at least they’d be safe from men like Bryce and Glen. She’d put aside her haughtiness and focus on the joy of raising her son. That would have to be enough for her. And Caleb could move on with his life and marry a better woman than her.
It was the right thing for her to do. Wasn’t it? Of course, it was! So, why did she feel so rotten inside?
* * *
Three hours of searching and still no Sam. Caleb glanced at the fading sunlight. It would be dark soon. Thankfully, it was summer and warm enough for the boy to be outside all night. But a four-year-old should never be left to roam around on his own.
Where could he be? They’d scoured the streets and asked everyone they met if they’d seen the child. They’d paused at the Amish soap works and bakery to explain the problem. Word had soon spread, and the Amish came out in droves to search. When the Englisch heard about the problem, they stepped up to help, too. Even Bryce Jackson had rallied his friends to comb the back roads circling the edge of town. Without being asked, the police set up checkpoints heading outside town, just in case someone tried to steal Sam. But Caleb didn’t tell Tessa about that, as he figured she was filled with enough worry already.
Now, Caleb led the way down the stairs from her apartment. Over the past few hours, they’d returned twice, just in case Sam came home. They’d gone to Caleb’s farm and the diner, too. Sam seemed to have disappeared into thin air.
Caleb would have suggested splitting up to cover more ground, but he didn’t think Tessa was in any mental condition to be on her own right now. Her fear was palpable, and he couldn’t blame her. Riverton was a fairly safe place to live and raise a familye. That was one reason he loved it here. This was the place where he’d hoped to marry one day and raise his own kids. With a population of around five thousand, everyone knew everyone else, including the Amish. But now, Caleb was concerned. He loved Sam like his own. For Tessa’s sake, he didn’t express his own apprehensions. She needed him to be strong right now. But later, once they’d found Sam safe and sound, Caleb was determined to convince Tessa they belonged together.
As he reached the bottom landing, Caleb looked up. Tessa was right behind him, in obvious distress. Her breathing came rather fast and uneven, and her face was drawn with worry. Though she gripped the railing as she descended the stairs, she missed a step. Caleb shot out an arm to save her from taking a bad fall.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he steadied her.
She wouldn’t meet his eyes but nodded as she joined him on solid ground. He longed to tug her into his arms and whisper words of love and encouragement. To comfort her. But he knew she would never accept that from him.
She pulled away and stepped back.
“Where could he be?” she murmured to herself, her voice filled with tears.
“Don’t worry. I know we’re going to find him safe,” Caleb said.
She gasped. “Look!”
He turned and saw a light on in the diner. Tessa was already running toward the door. Caleb followed hot on her heels. They’d left the back unlocked, just in case Sam returned. Maybe the boy was here. Maybe...
“Doris!” Tessa cried as the older woman met them at the door.
“Has there been any sign of him?” Doris asked, her eyes filled with unease.
“Ne, nothing yet,” Tessa said, her shoulders sagging with disappointment.
“What are you doing here, Mamm? You should be heemet resting,” Caleb said.
“Humph!” Doris reached to pull Tessa into her arms for a tight hug. “You poor dear. I’m not working, but I’m not going to sit at heemet worrying while all of you are out searching. I figured I could wait here in case Sam returns. I’ve been watching out the window to see him if he goes up to your apartment. But there’s been no sign of him.”
“Ach, danke for watching out for him.” Tessa spoke half-heartedly, her eyes crinkled with anxiety and fatigue.
Doris gently smoothed a strand of golden hair back from Tessa’s face and tucked it beneath her white prayer kapp. “Of course. You and Sam are like familye to me. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s every mudder’s worst nightmare, worrying about her child. What on earth made Sam run away in the first place?”
Tessa looked away. Caleb knew what she must be thinking. The angst and remorse were etched across her face. She feared Sam had overheard their entire conversation. It was bad enough the boy had witnessed them arguing, but to hear that he wouldn’t be coming to the diner anymore was enough to set him off. Children needed stability in their lives. They needed to feel loved and secure.
Tessa needed the same things. In fact, after what she’d been through, Caleb figured she deserved it more than ever.
In the main dining room, she gazed out the window, her eyes searching the dark street. “My poor little boy. He’s out there somewhere, alone and frightened. He would have come heemet by now. Something’s wrong. I feel it in my bones.”
“Let’s go back out,” Caleb said.
She nodded, and off they went. It was in the early hours of the morning, when the sun was barely peeking over the eastern mountains, that they returned to the restaurant. Tessa was tired and badly in need of rest. Her nerves were frayed, and she wasn’t thinking clearly. And when Doris reported there still wasn’t any news of Sam, Tessa finally broke down. It nearly shattered Caleb’s heart anew to watch her weep openly on Doris’s shoulder.
“My little boy. I can’t even be a gut mudder to him,” Tessa cried.
“There, there,” Doris soothed. “That’s not true. You’re the best mudder that child could ever have. You’re all he needs. We’ll say another prayer and exercise our faith.”
The woman glanced at Caleb, her gaze urging him to offer a vocal prayer on their behalf. Realizing he was the patriarch in the room, Caleb did just that. He thanked Gott for all their blessings, then beseeched Him to protect Sam and the searchers and help them find the boy soon. And when he finished, Tessa sniffed and wiped her eyes on her apron.
“Danke, Caleb,” she said.
“It’s amazing how gut children are at concealing themselves. They have an uncanny way of hiding where they can’t be found.” Doris patted Tessa’s arm in a loving fashion.
“Doris! That’s it!” Tessa exclaimed.
“Huh? What do you mean? What’s it?” Doris asked.
Tessa whirled on Caleb, a tight smile curving her lips. The first smile he’d seen on her in several days.
“An idea just occurred to me,” she said. “It might be nothing, but I think I know where Sam may have gone to hide. But we’re going to need a flashlight.”
Caleb blinked, not asking questions. He simply did as she asked and retrieved the requested item.
Doris bid them farewell. “Gott be with you. Bring our boy heemet safe.”
As he helped Tessa climb up into his buggy, Caleb was glad he’d kept his road horse out all night. As soon as he could, he’d reward the animal with a nice rubdown inside his barn and an extra portion of grain.
“So, where are we headed?” he asked as he directed the animal down Main Street.
“Your place,” Tessa said.
He gazed at her for several moments, his mind filled with questions. They’d already checked the barn and surrounding outbuildings hours earlier when they’d stopped off to quickly feed his livestock and see if Sam was hiding there. They’d found nothing, so Caleb was confused as to why Tessa thought Sam might be there now. But he didn’t question her motives. They were out of ideas. He’d try anything if it brought them success. And for the first time in a long time, he let his faith in Gott and his trust in this woman be his guide. Nothing else mattered but finding Sam safe and sound. And afterward, he was going to have a long chat with Tessa, whether she liked it or not.
Chapter Fourteen
An urgency built within Tessa as she sat inside Caleb’s buggy. The early-morning sunlight spread its faint glow across the green fields and enhanced the dark shadows. She caught the shimmer of moisture on the alfalfa growing in Caleb’s fields. No doubt the warm summer sun would soon dissipate the dew. But right now, the cool early-morning air embraced her quaking body. She barely felt the chill. Her skin prickled with anticipation as they passed down Main Street and turned into the long drive leading to Caleb’s farmhouse.
The horse trotted at full speed, but not fast enough for Tessa. Her little boy had been out alone in the dark, all night long. For five years, Tessa had kept the truth of Sam’s birth a secret from everyone but Gott. She’d hoped to protect Sam. And she’d tried to forgive the man who’d hurt her and forget it ever happened. She wanted to move forward. To make a fresh start. But she wouldn’t marry a man because he pitied her.
Looking at Caleb, she noticed his harsh profile was set with determination, his jaw locked hard as granite. Without asking, she knew he felt as urgent as she did. They had to find Sam.
“Haw!” He slapped the leather leads against the horse’s rump, pushing the animal to move even faster.
Finally, he pulled the buggy to a stop just in front of his barn. Tessa didn’t wait for him to come around and help her down. Gripping the flashlight, she bolted from the vehicle like it was on fire and dashed toward the south field.
“Where are you going?” Caleb called after her.
She barely glanced his way, seeing his look of surprise. No doubt he expected her to go to the barn again. But not this time.
“To the abandoned water well,” she yelled over her shoulder.
He ran after her, asking no more questions. Tessa remembered Doris telling her that her father-in-law had boarded up the mouth of the well, but Caleb’s siblings and their friends had pulled the boards off years ago, when they were kids.
Together, they sprinted at full speed, jumping over clumps of dirt and grass in their path. In spite of her head start, Caleb arrived at the well before her and looked down. Tessa got there moments later and did likewise, staring into the black maw. She shone the beam of the flashlight down the thirty-foot hole, then gasped when she saw her son’s pale, tearstained face gleaming up at them.
“Sam! Ach, Sam!” she cried, almost overwhelmed with relief.
“Mammi!” he called back, his voice hoarse, as if he’d been screaming for hours.
“Sam, are you allrecht? Are you injured?” Caleb asked.
“Ja, my wrist hurts awful bad,” he said.
“How did you get down into the shaft?” Tessa asked.
“I used the old rope tied to the well and shimmied down, but it broke. I fell, and that’s how I hurt my wrist,” he said.
“It could be broken. If that’s the case, he can’t climb up without help,” Caleb said.
That was Tessa’s thought exactly. As she shone the light around her son, she could see that he was sitting on a wooden board. It looked like one of the timbers that had been nailed across the mouth of the well by Caleb’s grandfather over twenty years earlier. Somehow, the board had been dropped into the well and wedged against the sides to provide a platform for Sam to sit on. If not for that slim piece of wood, her son would fall to the bottom of the well...a thought that absolutely terrified Tessa. And even worse, she had no idea how long the board might hold her son’s weight.
“Look! The well is not stable.” Caleb pointed at the wall of the shaft. Through the dark shadows, Tessa could see places where the rock wall had caved in.
“How do we get him out?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“I don’t want him to fall any farther. There’s no telling how long that board he’s sitting on will hold him up. The shaft is thirty feet deep. Right now, it looks like he’s only about fifteen feet down. If he falls deeper, he could be badly hurt. I know you’re anxious, Tessa, but listen to me.” He cupped her face with his hands and stared directly into her eyes, seizing her attention. “Stay here with Sam, but don’t do anything more than encourage him to remain very still. Keep him quiet while I go to the barn and get a new rope and one of my horses. Then I’ll climb down to Sam and we’ll pull him up. Allrecht?”
She nodded, captured by his gentle but confident voice. He turned and sprinted back toward the barn. Watching him go, a feeling of absolute calm washed over her. And in that moment, she realized she had confidence in this man. Not once had he betrayed her or let her down. He’d been there for her whenever she needed him the most.
She trusted him completely.
Turning, she gazed down at her son. He lifted his good hand toward her.
“Mammi! Get me out,” he sobbed.
“We will, liebchen. Hold on,” she soothed in her most loving voice. “But listen to me now. You’ve got to stay very still for a few minutes more. Caleb has gone to get a rope. You’ve got to be strong and brave just a little while longer. Can you do that for me, sweetums?”
Cradling his injured hand against his chest, he wiped his eyes with his good hand and nodded. She kept talking to him in her gentlest voice, making sure he could see her and know that she was there. And in her heart, she realized Gott had always been there for her, too. Comforting and offering her strength. During her darkest moments, the Lord had never abandoned her. Not once.
The sun rose in the eastern sky, spraying light and warmth across the field. It couldn’t have been more than ten or fifteen minutes as they waited for Caleb to return, but it seemed like an eternity. Tessa heard the thud of heavy hooves and looked up, surprised to see him riding the back of his largest draft horse as the animal galloped toward her. When he reached the well, Caleb slid off the gray’s back and handed her the reins.
“Ach, hold Pete still for me. When I give you the signal, you’re going to slowly pull Sam and me up,” Caleb said.
She nodded, clutching the leather firmly in her hands. She stroked Pete’s velvet muzzle and watched in silence as Caleb tied one end of a strong rappelling rope to the harness. She remembered going hiking in the mountains with him and the other youth of their congregation when they were kids. Under the supervision of adults, they’d rappelled short distances down a mountain cliff. It had been a fun and challenging activity, and she’d felt happy and carefree. But back then, she wasn’t a worried mother and no one’s life had been in danger.
Now, Caleb wore a rappelling harness around his legs and waist and a pair of leather gloves on his hands. Using a figure-eight belay device and a locking carabiner for a secure point of anchor, he stepped up onto the rock lip of the well. Pieces of dilapidated stone dropped to the ground, attesting to the severe decay of the wall.
Facing her, Caleb nodded, and she pulled on Pete’s reins, leading the big horse forward until the rope went taut.
“Ach, hold it steady right there. I’ll tell you when to pull. Just move really slow,” Caleb called.
“Got it,” she said.
