Lyrics that Burn, page 5
Alyssa smiles at my laugh and bites her thumb in a way that I’m sure she thinks is enticing, but I couldn’t be more turned off. Some guys enjoy cougars, I’m not one of them. “I agree Tristan, this is something to celebrate,” she says, mistakenly assuming what my laugh is about. She once again taps the papers into alignment and stands behind her chair. “You’ll be bound by the length remaining on Raina’s contract. You’ll need to perform fifteen shows on tour and—“
I hold up a hand, stopping her mid sentence. “I’m sorry, fifteen? I thought she had six shows left?”
“There were six remaining on the schedule when we had to force her into rehab, but more have been added since she unfortunately broke her contract.” I read between the lines. They’re charging her interest on the money they lost out on. And they’re dicks. “Plus, we foresee a dip in ticket sales since she was so callous as to overdose. Hopefully we nipped that in the bud.”
This woman calls herself a manager? If this is how she talks about Raina behind her back, why hasn’t she been fired yet? Five years is a long time, but the girl I knew back then had some sort of a backbone. What could’ve happened to change that?
Don’t do that, Tristan. You don’t care about her. Don’t go chasing a reason for behavior. She means nothing to you.
“Ah, I see. Fifteen is fine,” I say when it becomes apparent Alyssa is waiting for my reply. I don’t understand why she seems to be all over the place. She belittles Raina but wants to flirt with me. She wants to make sure we’re okay with the terms but doesn’t give a single fuck about her long term client. Should she be on some meds or something?
“As I was saying, there’s also one record left on her contract as well, and once that’s completed, it will be time to renegotiate if the label chooses to continue to keep her as part of the family.”
Clearly they’re already planning on milking her for everything she has left and then kicking her to the curb. It’s written on the wall; only a matter of time until Raina’s destroyed. My heart drops to my stomach like I’m on a rollercoaster, and I choose to ignore the reaction. This is what I wanted.
Alyssa runs a finger along her blazer in an attempt to draw my attention to her cleavage. It’s sad really. She has to be double my age, if not more. At least she looks like it, anyway. “I’m sure you’re excited to meet Raina. Anything else I can do for you before I get her?”
Hiding the scowl and the shiver of disgust threatening to make an enemy out of Alyssa, I lean against the table and cross my arms, the leather of my jacket so worn it moves with me easily. “How soon until we can move into the house?”
An expression of shock crosses her face, clearly it wasn’t the response she was expecting. Her eyes go wide and her lips form a circle that’s too reminiscent of an asshole for my taste. Now I can’t unsee that image. It will forever be superimposed on her face whenever I see her. She glances at her watch before peeking at me through her lashes. “We blew through the other talent so quickly that it’s early enough in the day. I noticed you’re local, so if you want, you can start moving in immediately.”
Does she not realize every other sentence out of her mouth is a direct contradiction? What is Raina doing with this lady?
“That would be preferable. I want to get settled as quickly as possible so we can work on melding our sound.”
“Oh, I don’t think you’ll have any issues with that. You’re amazing. I was spellbound, to be honest. If Raina didn’t agree, I would’ve been forced to put my foot down. Can’t pass up on raw talent like yours.” She takes a step toward me, and every muscle in my body seems to stiffen. I may not be able to stop myself from jumping away if she tries to touch me. She digs in her purse and comes back with a key held between her fingers like it’s a goddamn golden snitch. “Here you are, doll. Shall I text you the address?”
Fuck. I really regret leaving my number on the forms now. I should’ve claimed a new one through a texting app to give her instead. I’m already anticipating messages I’d rather not have to stomach. “Much appreciated,” I manage to get out, grabbing the key.
“Well then, I’ll be back in a moment with Raina. Try not to take anything she says to heart.” She flicks her gray streaked, mousy brown hair as she turns. I barely lean back in time to avoid letting it hit me in the face while simultaneously holding my breath. I don’t need to know what her shampoo smells like. She sways her ass as she walks to the door, and before it closes behind her, she throws a wink over her shoulder.
Silence settles over the room for longer than I expected, which is a good thing. It means she’s far enough away that she won’t hear us. Nash’s hands hit the table with a bang that makes me jump, and he leans toward me from the far side. “I don’t like this, Tristan. What the fuck did you get us into?”
“I don’t either,” Blake adds, shaking his head like he’s disappointed in me. “Everything about this feels wrong. I don’t want us getting trapped with this label.”
Keaton’s back is to us, and he taps a beat against the wall. There’s tension radiating through his shoulders. He doesn’t say anything, but his body language is enough to go by. He doesn’t like this any more than the others. Probably hates it more than them for the simple fact he hates talking. It’s inevitable that she’ll at some point expect him to talk, and he won’t cave. Not for anyone.
“It seems you’ve sold our souls to the devil, Tristan. Is your revenge really worth the possible backlash?” Nash’s words so closely mirror my previous thoughts. But back then, it was only said with Raina in mind. I forgot I’m dragging my best friends, my band, along with me. They will have to suffer through any fallout alongside me. Is it really fair to drag them under, too?
“It’s not only about revenge. This will get us on the map. People will know our names, and when this is finished, we’ll have our pick of artists to work with.” I twist the rings around my fingers, my thoughts scrambling for ways to convince them this isn’t a bad idea. “Hell, we could even record by ourselves. Not to mention how fat our bank accounts will get.” This has to be worth it. It just has to.
Before I’m able to prepare myself, the door opens, and I’m face to face with Raina. It’s been five years since I’ve seen her in person, but it might as well have been five minutes. My gaze tracks over her features, taking in every detail from top to bottom. Her long blonde hair is in a messy bun on top of her head with a few loose strands falling around her perfect face. My eyes are drawn to her cleavage where the slouchy sweater she’s wearing dips low, showing hints of a glittering bra. The yoga pants hug her legs like a second skin, showing every curve, making me wish she’d turn around. No, Tristan. No you don’t. Focus.
Bringing my gaze back to her face, I find her rosy lips parted in surprise, clearly not expecting me to be standing here. I can still practically taste that last kiss we shared before she left. And her eyes, fuck, they suck me into the stormy blue depths, and I never want to leave.
I was worried she’d have this effect on me. That a single look from her would bring all those years of friendship rushing to the surface and erase the way she broke my heart. For my puppy dog yearning to come back with a vengeance...
Flashes of memories cross my vision. Promises we made each other before she left. The soft kisses and passionate embrace. The way we spent all night cuddling in bed together. She wasn’t only my best fucking friend. She was the woman I knew I’d spend forever with. The woman—well, girl back then—who I’d write music and perform with. She was my fucking everything.
As I watch her, she seems to come out of her shock, and all the warm fuzzy feelings that sprung up quickly rush out of me. Her stormy blue eyes take on a deeper shade, showing her anger. It’s the balled fists at her sides that really seal the deal. But what cuts me the most is the hatred shining back at me like I’m gazing into a mirror.
And with one simple look, I know my answer. It’s absolutely worth it.
Raina needs to know what it feels like to have her soul ripped from her chest and put through a wood chipper. It’s the only way I’ll find some semblance of peace in the world once again.
Alyssa doesn’t even glance up from her phone when she comes back into the ballroom. It feels like she’s been gone forever, even if I know it wasn’t long at all. I’m beyond exhausted. I need some time to regroup. Get myself together, and if I’m able to gather the strength, find out exactly what’s been said about me while I was gone.
“They’re ready for you in the room across the hall,” she says, still not looking away from her phone. “There will be a car waiting for you out front when you’re done.” The task of delivering her message completed, she leaves the room with no care for me at all. Typical Alyssa.
Fine. May as well get this over with. The faster I meet them, the sooner I can get home for the last shreds of peace I’ll have until they move in. Rolling my shoulders back, I square myself off. This isn’t the time to appear weak. Stepping into the hall, I’m surprised to find Alyssa waiting in front of the door across the way. I thought for sure she left. She’s holding papers in front of her like she’s reading them but is lifting her phone as well, so who knows what has her attention.
I grip the doorknob and take one more breath. I’m not sure why I’m nervous. They’re probably some band I’ve never heard of. That nobody has ever heard of. Maybe it’s because their music transcended me to another universe; one where I could breathe again with ease. Lord knows it’s been years since that’s been possible. Not even my new lease on life made that possible. It didn’t erase everything that happened. I simply had a break from it and went through some therapy.
No, nothing has changed. Not even me. But maybe I’ll give life another chance. For now.
The door swings open, and my gaze falls on a leather jacket before landing on none other than Tristan Evans. My jaw drops as my mind flashes to hot summer nights spent catching fireflies at the cabin, to ice pops after a swim at the beach. To belly splitting laughter over nothing at all, then to the way things shifted between us. To the lingering touches of our shoulders pressed against each other. Our pinkies catching, playing footsie under the dinner table, the graze of his finger as he tucked my hair behind my ear.
I’m a split second away from taking a step toward him, from throwing my arms around his neck and jumping into his hold in excitement. But then I remember...
He’s my ex-best friend. The boy who left me high and dry, ghosting me for no reason. The one who stole an earth shattering kiss before I left. He whispered promises against my lips to visit me over the summer and join me for good once he turned eighteen. But none of that happened.
How could he do that and have the fucking audacity to show up now? The goddamn nerve he has to audition to reclaim his place that he abandoned so long ago. Fuck him and the high horse he rode in on. A growl passes my lips as I turn on my heel. I’m thankful now that Alyssa didn’t leave.
She’s still holding the papers in her hands. They’re the same ones I signed earlier. The contract with the band. I’m not seeing straight when I snatch them from her hold. Some kind of tunnel vision has the edges of my sight blurring, but I don’t need to see clearly to rip it to shreds. If I had a fire, you better believe I’d sweep up the shreds and watch them burn to ash.
The anger seems to leave me as I brush my hands and stare at the white jagged edges of a huge mistake at my feet. That’s much better. “What the fuck, Raina?” Alyssa hisses.
Glancing at her, I find her hand pressed against her chest as if she’s clutching her pearls. Like that woman has any class at all.
A grunt sounds from beside me, and I know the band is watching. I didn’t even take the time to see who else was standing in the room. Nothing else mattered besides putting a hard stop on giving him access to me again. I can’t have him around me. It will bring up too many terrible memories. If I thought I wanted to kill myself before, having to live through those memories again will certainly do the job where I failed previously.
“We need to hold new auditions. This time I want tapes delivered to my beach house, and I’ll let you know who to call for a live audition.” I grip my jacket tightly and step away to leave, but something about Alyssa’s horrified expression makes me stop.
“There’s a signed contract, Raina. You have a band now,” she says in a shocked tone. It’s all for show since she knows there’s an audience. This kind of behavior shouldn’t surprise her. I might not do it all the time, but I’ve been known to embrace the rumors about me from time to time. Only when it benefits me, like it does right now. Call me a pop star drama queen, bitches.
“There used to be. Not anymore,” I reply, pointedly glaring at the confetti by my feet.
“I scanned it and sent it in already. The contract is binding. You’re stuck with them, Raina. I suggest you come to terms with it and do what’s expected before the label wipes its hands of you.” She seems to process her words, and her eyes go wide before darting to our keen observers. Apparently, I’ve pushed her buttons enough to make her say something like that in front of not only me but others. I guess it’s nice to hear my thoughts aren’t unfounded.
The label is trying to get rid of me, and I know exactly why. I pushed things too far the last time I tried to warn his victim. Not that the little twat was willing to listen. He threatened there’d be consequences if I attempted to interfere in his personal business again. Too bad I’m still around to receive the consequences.
Damn, Raina. Feeling really sorry for yourself today, are we?
An arm drapes over my shoulder, the heavy weight of it resting there like an anchor to the wind filling the wild sails of my newfound freedom. Warm leather and bergamot fill my senses. The leather is new, but the bergamot is all Tristan. My eyelids flutter before reality trumps the comfort of familiarity.
I shake him off without looking at him, but he holds me tightly against his side. He leans in closer, and I’m unable to hide the shiver that travels along my spine at the feel of his breath brushing against my ear like a fucking caress. “Yeah, Lexi. You’re stuck with me. We’re finally going to live together like we talked about all those years ago.”
His words have a magical effect on my emotions, and not the good kind. It’s like he shot a missile directly into my broken heart. All those suppressed feelings come rushing to the surface as if I’m experiencing them for the first time. How could he leave me alone and show up years later, making a joke about it?
Tears prick at the back of my eyes, and I know if I don’t get out of here, I won’t be able to hold them back. Not after the day I’ve had.
With a swift jab of my elbow, the air rushes out of Tristan, and his hold on me loosens. I don’t waste any time walking away. There’s a pained grunt from my ex-best friend, and several deep laughs from his band, along with a disgruntled sound from Alyssa.
“See you at home, baby!” Tristan calls after me, making my heart clench painfully. I rub a hand over the area as I unsuccessfully blink the tears away. I just need to make it to the vehicle waiting for me out front.
Not wanting to take any chances, I dig out my oversized sunglasses and put them on. All I need is for the press to get some glassy-eyed pictures and to spin a tale of me already off the wagon. Or worse, to advertise that I’m crying and to make wild speculations as to why.
The same two security personnel are waiting for me in the lobby by the doors and flank me without a word as we walk through them. As suspected, there are people waiting for me, and I hold my head high when the cameras go off. Questions are thrown at me, but I don’t hear them. My ears feel like they’re stuffed with cotton, too filled with sounds of my past.
For the second time today, I find myself shut inside this Escalade. This time Alyssa thankfully isn’t with me. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, focusing on taking deep breaths. I need a distraction. Dragging out my cell, I open my favorite app for watching reels and settle my headphones over my ears.
Flipping through the videos, I get lost in the feed, the algorithm well in tune with what I want to watch. I long ago set a filter to remove videos mentioning me. It’s a slim chance that I’ll stumble upon one, but it’s happened on occasion. The second clip I watch has a beautiful girl wearing a crown and holding up a book. She enthusiastically reviews the novel, and I’m riveted. Her joy and happiness comes through the screen, and with a start, I realize I want to feel that way, too. While the plot she talked about isn’t my style, I fall down the rabbit hole of something called booktok to find something that is.
I’m so entranced by watching reviews, lip sync skits where they show tropes paired with recs, and clips with quotes from books that I don’t realize we’ve stopped in front of my beach house. The door next to me suddenly opening startles me so bad I scream, my entire body moving as I jump. My phone goes flying and tumbles into my lap, sliding to the ground. At the same time, my headphones slip to hang around my neck from the violent motion I made. Sometimes these noise canceling headphones work a little too well.
The security guard fights his smirk as he stands next to the door, the corner of his mouth quivering in a valiant effort. I couldn’t blame him if he did laugh, I would’ve if I were him. I’m sure it was quite the visual, scaring the shit out of a pop star.
Scooping up the fallen device, I snatch my purse and climb from the vehicle. The cobblestones of the driveway have me catching my balance, not expecting the old brickwork to be so uneven, and when I do, I’m finally able to look up at the monstrosity of a house.
Why did I ever buy one so big? Why did I even agree to purchase a house in this shithole of a town? I never intended to stay here. I’ve never once visited. I think at one point someone mentioned it being good for appearances if I don’t abandon what they called my grass roots.
Little did they know I wanted nothing more than to forget where I came from. Especially after Tristan ghosted me. There was nothing left here that I valued.
