The Dark Angel, page 8
Lista feigned fear, a charming gesture as far as Julian was concerned, and proceeded cautiously. “Goodness,” she said. “What more shall I find? A nest for fae?”
“More than likely a nest for trolls.”
Lista giggled. “That is not a very nice thing to say about your sister,” she said. “I am sure there are no trolls in here, nasty things.”
“I would not be too sure.”
She glanced at him, her sea-colored eyes twinkling, and he grinned and looked away. He was leaning against the door jamb, those enormous arms crossed, head lowered as he looked at his feet. Even though his hair was hanging over half his face, Lista could still see the smirk on his face. She could feel the brotherly love towards a sister.
She rather liked it.
“You have experience with trolls, then?” she asked, teasing him as she began to pick up the clothing at her feet. “Surely a knight of your caliber should have no trouble with them.”
Julian saw what she was doing and broke his stance by the door, coming in to help. “No trouble with trolls,” he said, picking up an armload of garments and tossing them onto the bed. “You?”
It was a rather witty comeback and she fought off a grin. “Not recently, no,” she said, collecting a pile of scarves that had fallen out. “And you only have one sister?”
He shook his head, collecting some slippers that had tumbled out. “Three,” he said. “Allaston, Effington, and Addington. Addie is the youngest.”
“And one brother?”
Julian wasn’t sure how to answer that. “I had three,” he said, feeling his good mood fade. “We lost my youngest brother around the same time as we lost my father.”
Lista put the scarves on the bed. “I am sorry,” she said. “I did not mean to pry.”
“You did not.”
She wasn’t so sure, but he was being polite about it, anyway. She turned back for the remainder of the pile on the floor. “I have no brothers or sisters anymore,” she said. “I lost my brother, also. I understand how you feel.”
Julian tilted his head to the side. “Then you have my condolences, as well,” he said sincerely.
“It must be a good feeling to have a big family. It must make you feel as if you belong to something happy and loving.”
“Or annoying and frustrating,” he said, reaching down to pick up a cloak. “Especially if your sister embarrasses you in front of a guest.”
He meant the pile of clothing but Lista grinned. “She did nothing of the sort,” she insisted, picking up a final garment off the floor and seeing that it was a dark blue wool with silver embroidery on it. It seemed simple enough and a good fabric against the cold night. “Do you think your sister would mind if I borrowed this one?”
Julian looked at it. She was holding it against her and in the gentle glow of the tallow candles, he could see the dark blue color reflecting in her eyes. There was something so beautiful about her at the moment, something ethereal, that it took his breath away. He’d never had that kind of a reaction to a woman in his life. He could have stared at her all night but when she fixed on him, meeting his eyes, he quickly averted his gaze.
“I do not think she would,” he said. “Is there anything else I can help you with, my lady? Should I send for a servant to help you dress?”
Lista’s gaze lingered on him for a moment before she placed the dress carefully on the bed, disturbing the cat. She couldn’t help but notice that while he would warm a little, he clearly had no intention of being anything other than politely friendly. Whenever their gazes would meet, he would quickly look away.
Sadly, she knew why. Or, at least she thought she did.
“That is not necessary,” she said. “I do not need help dressing, though I appreciate your offer. I fear that, twice now, I have taken far too much of your valuable time. So if you wish to return to the hall, I will heartily encourage you to do so.”
Julian shook his head. “I cannot,” he said simply. “I will wait for you to change into dry clothing and escort you to the hall.”
With that, he quit the chamber and shut the door behind him, leaving Lista feeling the least bit bewildered and also a little disappointed. He was such a handsome man, beautifully built, but there was absolutely nothing he saw in her that he liked. Truth be told, Lista hadn’t been around many young knights, at least men of eligible marital age, so her time with Julian was quite rare.
But quite wonderful.
It took her away from her drunken mother and boorish aunt. It took her away from a life of managing an entire castle, her world consumed by tending to things that her mother should have taken care of. A world where everything depended on her and she, in turn, had no one that she could depend on. There was no one. Felkington was a wealthy castle but certainly no man in his right mind would want to marry her with the burden of her mother and aunt upon her shoulders. Now that Julian had seen the reality of her world, there was no way the man would ever be remotely interested.
But it wasn’t just that she was hopeful for Julian, personally. He was far above her social station and she knew it. It was the fact that it could have been any man. Any man she had made an acquaintance of who had seen the reality of her life with her mother and aunt. It just happened to be Julian who had seen it and wanted nothing to do with it.
She didn’t blame him in the least.
Looking up from the blue garment, Lista looked around the room. Even though she had a lavish chamber of her own back at Felkington, there was something different about Addington’s. It was a luxurious room that clearly belonged to a woman who had a family to love her. A woman who surely must have had many marital prospects, a woman who could be herself and not have to worry about her fragile mother and misbehaving aunt.
A woman who had everything Lista had been denied.
That understanding had never been more painful than it was at this very moment.
She couldn’t accept the dry dress. She couldn’t accept anything of Addington’s because it simply wasn’t right. She was still damp, and still cold, but she wasn’t going to change her clothing. In fact, she was going to gather her mother and aunt and find an inn somewhere in the village to spend the night before they headed home.
She wasn’t going to impose on the perfect world of de Velt any longer.
Lista yanked the chamber door open and charged through, heading for the stairs. Julian had been standing right outside the door, startled when he saw her practically run to the steps. He called after her but she didn’t answer him, taking the steps far too quickly. He was behind her and he seriously thought she was going to slip and fall all the way to the bottom, but she somehow managed to keep her footing.
Hitting the bottom of the steps, she began to run.
Puzzled, Julian ran after her.
The mist outside had turned into a wet blanket. Everything it touched was instantly sopping wet and that included Lista as she ran into the fog. Julian called after her twice, finally catching up to her about halfway to the stables. Reaching out, he grabbed her arm, forcing her to a halt. But even as they came to a stop, Lista was struggling to pull away from him.
“My lady?” he said, trying to hold on to her without hurting her. “Whatever is the matter? Why are you running?”
“Please,” Lista said, trying to yank her arm free. “Please let me go. I must have our escort prepared.”
Julian was looking at her with mounting concern. “But why?” he said. “What has happened?”
Lista stopped tugging because he clearly wasn’t going to let her go. His grip was like iron. His hair, wet, had come away from the right side of his face and was now plastered against his right temple and cheek. Even in the torchlight of the bailey, which was still fairly bright, Lista could see the full scope of the man’s face and she wasn’t disappointed. He was glorious. But she also noticed that he had two different-colored eyes – one eye was bright green and the other was a light brown, almost a hazel. The hair draped over his eye had covered up the fact that the right eye was light brown.
But she didn’t give it a second thought. If anything, it simply made him more handsome in her opinion. Handsome and kind and polite.
And he didn’t want anything to do with her.
“Sir Julian,” she said as steadily as she could. “I have troubled you for the last time. I want you to listen to me very carefully. Will you do this?”
His brow furrowed. “Of course I will, my lady. But why do you…?”
She cut him off before he could finish. “Please listen,” she said again. “I want you to let my arm go.”
He did, without hesitation. Lista straightened her sleeve before continuing. “Now,” she said. “When we first met, I was sharp with you. I have apologized for that and I will do it yet again. I am sorry for the way I spoke to you. You and your mother were very kind to me and my mother and I will always be very grateful for that. Your mother was warm and welcoming to a woman she’d known as a child, but it never occurred to your mother that the woman she knew long ago is not the same woman of today. My mother is a reckless fool. It was a mistake to come here and impose upon your family. I am going to make sure our escort is prepared and then I am taking my mother and aunt away. We should not be here.”
He was still frowning, unsure what had her so upset. “But I do not understand,” he said. “You did not seem upset when I left you to change your clothing. Did I say something to offend you?”
She looked at him as if startled by the question. After a moment, a smile spread across her face, but it wasn’t one of humor. The laugh that came from her mouth was one of great irony.
“Sir Julian, you do not have to pretend with me any longer,” she said. “I understand that twice you have been forced into escorting me so you do not have to pretend it is something you are doing of your own free will. I am simply the daughter of a madwoman and what you have seen today is my life, every single day. Every morning is hell, every afternoon is exhaustion, and every night is spent wondering what is going to happen on the morrow. I’ve seen many a person turn away from my mother and me, so I know the expression well. I could see it in your face, too. I do not blame you. Though it has been my great honor to make your acquaintance, I ask that you go now and leave me alone. I have preparations to make.”
With that, she turned on her heel and continued rushing towards the stables, leaving Julian standing there in confusion. He’d never heard a speech like that in his life, so he stood there a moment as he pondered every word. He had been thinking that he had been the one to send her running out into the mist, but now he was starting to realize that it wasn’t him at all.
… or was it?
It took him a moment to realize that his wet hair had moved away from his right eye, exposing it. To those who had never seen his dual-toned eyes before, he knew how it looked. He’d had priests try to exorcise him, or throw holy water on him, or even herd people away from him. His father got the same reaction because his eye color was so pronounced. The Devil’s Eyes, people used to say. Cole’s eyes had the trait, but they were hardly noticeable, while Cassian had also possessed the trait to a larger degree. But Julian… his was quite obvious. Perhaps that trait had chased Lista de la Mere away but, somehow, she seemed tougher than that. She didn’t seem the type to shy away from something different or superstitious. But then again, he didn’t know her at all.
Perhaps he was wrong.
In any case, the woman was upset and he simply couldn’t let it go.
He went in search of Addington.
“My brother thinks that he has offended you.”
Standing in the musty stables, Lista heard the soft female voice, turning to see Addington enter. She had been watching the grooms prepare the horses, unwilling to return to the hall just yet, so Addington’s appearance had her uncertain and embarrassed.
“Nay, not at all,” she said to Addington’s blunt statement. “I simply asked him to leave me and let me go about my business.”
“What business?”
“We are preparing to depart.”
Addington frowned. “Why?” she said. “My lady, it is only fair to tell me what is wrong. What have we done?”
Lista knew she should tell her. Addington was right – it was only fair. Therefore, she struggled to delicately phrase it.
“You’ve done nothing,” she said. “You have been so incredibly gracious and the last thing I would want to do is offend you or your brother or mother, but we must face facts. My mother and aunt are not appropriate guests for your mother’s table.”
Addington’s eyes glittered in understanding. “So you are planning to take them away?”
Lista nodded. “I was going to come and tell you myself, I promise,” she said. “I wanted to make sure the escort was ready before I did. We should have never accepted your invitation to sup. My mother and aunt simply do not belong around polite, civilized people.”
“So you thought to spare us the shame of it?”
“I thought to preserve your mother’s memory of a friend from long ago.”
Addington smiled faintly. “That is noble of you,” she said. “But unnecessary. Do you not know about the de Velts?”
Lista wasn’t sure what she meant. “I… I know you are a great family,” she said. “Your father was a great warlord.”
Addington sighed faintly, taking Lista by the hand and pulling her over to a small bench that was pushed up against the wall of the stables. She sat down, taking Lista with her.
“Ask any man in Northumberland over the age of fifty years and they will all tell you the same thing about Ajax de Velt,” she said quietly. “My father was a warlord of the most brutal sort. Years ago, he conquered portions of the Welsh and Scottish Marches. He confiscated several castles. He would not only defeat armies, but he would take his prisoners and ram poles through them and then prop the poles up so that there was a sea of macabre scarecrows all over the land. Kings feared my father. There are those who still spit upon the name de Velt, so although I am flattered that you think we are a noble family, the truth is that we have a very dark past.”
Lista knew that, sort of. Amaury had mentioned it earlier that day and she’d known from living in Northumberland that de Velt was a name to fear, but not much beyond that.
“But your father went on to make a good name for himself, didn’t he?” she said. “He raised a kind and noble family.”
“Why do you say that?”
Lista smiled faintly. “Even if I knew nothing at all about your father, I do not need to know anything about him at all because you and your brother and mother have been kind and generous. That tells me all I need to know about Ajax de Velt. He has a good family.”
Addington was still holding her hand, now squeezing it. “That is sweet of you to say that,” she said. “But the fact remains that Julian thinks you ran from him and I told him I would get to the bottom of the situation. You didn’t run from him, did you?”
Lista shook her head firmly. “Nay,” she said. “He was very polite and helpful.”
Addington cleared her throat softly. “That’s not what I mean,” she said. “I meant… you did not run from him? From the way he is?”
“How is he?”
Addington could see that Lista had no clue what she meant. “Nay, I didn’t think so,” she said, relieved. “But he’s had people run from him before and those who do not run will comment cruelly.”
“Comment cruelly about what?”
Addington pointed to her eyes. “From this,” she said quietly. “We all have our father’s eyes in some fashion, but Julian’s condition is more pronounced because his eyes are two different colors. He is self-conscious about it but please do not tell him that I told you. That would embarrass him.”
Lista looked at her curiously. “I saw his eyes,” she said. “I thought they were marvelous, like the rest of him.”
Her cheeks suddenly turned bright red when she realized what she said and she lowered her gaze as Addington laughed. “You think so, do you?” she said. “He will be happy to hear that.”
Lista shook her head firmly. “Nay, please do not tell him,” she said. “I should not have said what I did, but…”
“Did you mean it?”
“Please do not tell him.”
“Did you mean it?”
Lista wouldn’t look at her, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her lips as she nodded, once. “I suppose so,” she said as it was practically forced out of her. “But if you tell him, I will call you a terrible liar.”
Addington burst out laughing. “This is wonderful, truly,” she said. “My lady, you have no idea that… well, it would mean a great deal to my brother if he knew. May I please tell him?”
Lista couldn’t keep the smile off her face, but she was resolute. “He would think you were mad,” she said. “He would think I was mad. I scolded him when we first met and shamed him in front of his men, yet I think he is handsome? He would not believe it.”
“He would!”
Lista shook her head, squeezing Addington’s hands. “Nay, my lady, please do not tell him,” she said, growing serious. “I am not of his social station. Nothing could ever come of it, so there is no point in telling him. It would embarrass me and probably mortify him, so please do not say anything. Promise me.”
Addington’s smile faded. “What is this nonsense?” she said. “What do you mean you are not of the same social station?”
Lista shrugged. “I live with my mother and aunt in a quiet corner of Northumberland,” she said simply. “My father was not a great warlord. We had no real friends or allies. Truly, we are nothing compared to the House of de Velt. When your brother marries, it should be to a woman who can bring him great status and honor. Not a woman with a drunkard for a mother. He deserves far better than what I have to offer.”
By the time she was finished, Addington was looking at her with shock. There was also some sorrow in her expression were one to look closely enough.
“I cannot believe that,” she said. “Are you destitute? Do you live in a cave?”
