They Never Learn, page 1
Thank you for downloading this Simon & Schuster ebook.
Get a FREE ebook when you join our mailing list. Plus, get updates on new releases, deals, recommended reads, and more from Simon & Schuster. Click below to sign up and see terms and conditions.
CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP
Already a subscriber? Provide your email again so we can register this ebook and send you more of what you like to read. You will continue to receive exclusive offers in your inbox.
For Emily
1 SCARLETT
I’ll know it’s working when he starts to scream.
But for now, I wait. I snuck into the garage an hour ago, when it was still pitch-black outside. I’m dressed to match the shadows, a hood pulled up to hide my vivid red hair, face scrubbed clean of makeup. No need to look pretty for this.
There aren’t any vehicles in here, just some old exercise equipment sitting on scraps of carpet, stale sweat and mossy body spray hanging in the air. I’m pressed into the back corner behind a set of warped metal shelves. Enough to conceal me, if I stay extremely still. I keep my breathing steady, focusing my gaze on the peeling red vinyl of the weight bench, the small gashes in the material like open wounds.
Footsteps slap the pavement, and the side door to the garage swings open. Right on time. A young man comes in, swabbing the sweat off his brow with the hem of his T-shirt.
Tyler Elkin. Star athlete, and one of the worst students I ever taught in my Intro to English Lit class. As starting quarterback, he took the Gorman University football team all the way to the conference championship last season. That was before the rumors started.
He tugs his earbuds out and swipes his thumb across his phone screen. Music starts blaring from a small speaker set up on a crate beside the weights, a screamy white-boy wannabe punk rocker whining about some girl who broke his heart. That bitch, how dare she.
It sets my teeth on edge, but I don’t move a muscle. I can’t risk Tyler seeing me. Not yet.
Tunelessly humming along, Tyler walks to the dented mini fridge in the corner and removes a glass bottle. He tosses the cap onto the floor and takes a long pull of the liquid inside. It’s an energy drink he makes himself, with activated charcoal, cayenne, and several raw eggs. Smells awful, and tastes even worse. I tried it myself, after brewing up a batch based on the instructions on his Instagram. Then I added my own special ingredient, mixed right in with the rest of the bitter grit at the bottom.
He made a video on his “kickass morning routine” too. He starts his day the same way, even on weekends: up at 5:00 a.m., hours before his fraternity brothers, for a brisk run along the path by the river at the edge of campus. He always pauses to take a photo of himself with the sunrise saturating the background. Then he comes back here, to the garage behind the frat house, for weight training. He’ll down half his energy drink now, the other half once his workout is done, while he captions his sunrise selfie with some inane motivational message. Rise n grind. Make 2day yr bitch.
Tyler polishes off another gulp and wipes his mouth. He has full lips and long eyelashes, which renders his face almost feminine from certain angles. He could be a model, one of those sun-burnished Abercrombie boys tossing a ball back and forth in matching madras shorts. It’s clear from his social media he considers that his backup plan if the whole football thing doesn’t work out. A boy like Tyler, he could have any girl he wanted. But where’s the fun in that? It must get boring after a while. Not that that’s any excuse.
Tyler lies back on the weight bench and starts raising and lowering the barbell in time with the music. Until his rhythm slows, stutters. His fingers wrap tighter around the bar. Then they spasm, and he almost lets go of the weight, dropping it on his catalog-perfect face.
My breath catches. That would ruin my whole plan.
He barely manages to keep ahold of the barbell. With quivering hands, he sets it back on its stand and shuts his eyes for a second. He sits up, shaking out his wrists, his arms. But now his legs are spasming, his calf and thigh muscles clenching and unclenching like fists.
Tyler stands, trying to walk it off, rolling his neck, cracking his vertebrae. I shrink deeper into the darkness. It’s almost time, but not yet, not—
“Fuck,” he says, raking a hand back through his sweat-soaked blond hair. He picks up the bottle again, taking another swig, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.
Still holding his drink, Tyler leans against the weight bench, trying to stretch out the strange cramps in his legs. It’s only a few seconds before he seizes all over and collapses. The bottle goes with him, landing beyond his outstretched hand. The glass doesn’t break, but the remaining contents flow out onto the concrete floor.
That’s fine. He’s had more than enough now.
Tyler’s body is no longer under his control. He’s twitching, contorting, spine arching, lifting his back off the floor so he’s supported only by his head and heels. He finally lets out a scream—throaty, guttural at first, then keening higher, turning into a sob.
If it weren’t for his obnoxious music, someone might hear. If he gets much louder, they might anyway. I step out of my hiding place, but he’s in so much pain it takes him a few seconds to put it all together—to recognize me in the first place and then to wonder why his literature professor is standing over him in his own garage at six in the morning, smiling while he screams.
“Please,” Tyler manages to choke out. “Help me, please h—”
Another convulsion takes hold of him. Soon he won’t be able to speak at all. This is the most I’ve ever heard out of Tyler Elkin’s mouth. When he bothered to show up to my class, he grunted one-word answers, slumping down in his seat with his legs sprawled across the aisle like he didn’t give a damn how much space he took up.
They never do, men like him. Well, he’s more of a boy, really. The garage’s fluorescent overhead light emphasizes all the still-adolescent features of his face: the downy excuse for a mustache on his upper lip, the pimple swelling in the crease between his nose and his cheek.
He’s a boy, and he’ll never become a man. Because in a few more minutes, he’ll be dead.
It’s risky for me to be here. I know that. I could have left the tainted drink in the fridge for him and slipped away while he was still out running. But the truth is, I enjoy this too much to miss it. It’s my reward for all the hard work. Besides, there’s one more step in my plan.
I pick up Tyler’s phone and hold it in front of his face. At first, the device doesn’t recognize him, his features are so twisted with agony. I wait for the convulsions to ease again, his body giving up the fight even before he does. After a few more seconds, the lock screen blinks away.
I open Instagram and crop Tyler’s latest selfie so only the sunrise in the background is in the frame, applying the filter he uses for all his posts. For the caption, I imitate the appalling grammar and spelling he employs.
last run last sunrise, so sorry 4 everthing
Tyler lies there panting, soaked through with sweat, blinking up at me as I methodically wipe all traces of my fingerprints from the device.
“Why—” he starts, but his throat is too constricted to speak.
I put the phone in his twitching hand and lean over him, my body casting his in shadow.
“Megan Foster,” I say.
Tyler’s eyes widen—and this, this is my favorite part. The abject terror that takes over their faces. That’s how I know they’re finally seeing me, realizing what I truly am.
I imagine what Tyler might say, if he were still capable of forming words. It wasn’t just me—that’s probably where he’d start. He wasn’t the only one who held Megan down on that filthy frat house mattress. They all did it—Tyler and four of his closest friends, half the starting lineup of the football team.
I didn’t start it. Who knows, that might even be the truth. Maybe Tyler was the second to take his turn, or the third, or the fourth, or the fifth. Maybe by the time he got there she’d given up fighting back, so he could almost pretend she was willing. He didn’t have bruises and scratches on his arms afterward, like his teammate Devin Caldwell did. But the police didn’t do a damn thing to Devin Caldwell either. They claimed there wasn’t enough proof.
For me, what Megan said was more than enough proof. True justice would have been bolting the fraternity house doors and setting the whole place on fire, burning every one of those boys in their beds. I might not even have needed to douse the place in kerosene first, considering every surface is sticky with spilled alcohol. But I can’t kill them all, not unless I want to get caught. I’ve spent the past sixteen years murdering men who deserve it, and I’m not about to get sloppy now.
So I made the logical compromise: pick one man and make an example of him. Tyler was the clear choice. Not because he’s the quarterback or the alpha male or any of that macho bullshit, but because, even though he and his four teammates all did something abhorrent that night, Tyler’s sin was the worst.
It was his Instagram that tipped me off, actually: photo after photo of Tyler at parties, leaning against walls and doorjambs and tree trunks, holding a bottle like the one oozing out on the floor beside his soon-to-be corpse.
Tyler believes clean living means a stronger game. So while his frat brothers got wasted on cheap beer and skunk weed, Tyler restricted himself to sipping his homemade energy drinks. Five boys raped Megan Foster, but only one of them did it while stone-cold sober.
Looking back, the signs were there from the first week of class—the way Tyler always picke
He’s seizing again, but he’s gone silent now, eyes rolled back into his head. I crouch down beside him, careful not to touch anything else. It’s just a matter of time. No hospital could help him at this point, not with that much strychnine in his system.
There. Finally. Tyler’s body goes through one more bout of clenching convulsions, and his lips stretch back from his teeth, fixing his too-handsome face in a gruesome parody of a grin.
Who’s smiling now, motherfucker?
2 CARLY
I’ve been counting down the days all summer, but now that we’re here, I feel like I can’t breathe.
The heat isn’t helping. It’s scorching outside, and for the whole drive from our small central Pennsylvania hometown to Gorman University, the air-conditioning in my parents’ Nissan barely reached the back seat. Sweat streams down my spine, pooling in the waistband of my jeans.
My father glances in the rearview mirror, trying to catch my eye. We have the same eyes: smoky blue with dark shadows underneath. That’s about the only thing we have in common.
I avoid his gaze, peering through the car’s tinted windows instead as he steers onto the paved drive that curves around Whitten Hall, my new home. I was expecting, I don’t know, something more like a dorm. But Whitten looks like an old manor house, with columns by the entrance and grasping fingers of ivy crawling all over the red brick.
My mom waits until my father punches the hazard-light button and gets out before she twists around in her seat to look at me. “Do you want us to come inside with you?” The hope in her voice is like a knife in the heart. “Help you unpack?”
I taste blood and realize I’ve been gnawing on my bottom lip again. “No, that’s okay.”
She took me out for a farewell meal yesterday—at lunchtime, when she knew my father would be at work. Nothing fancy; we just split some chicken nuggets and a large Frosty at Wendy’s. The whole time, she blinked too much, like she was trying not to cry.
She’s doing it now too, her eyelashes fluttering, fingers tangling in the gold cross necklace at her throat. Her hair is dark like mine but stick-straight instead of wavy, and she wears it in the same sleek curtains around her cheeks she did back when she and my father met. He thinks all women should keep their hair long or they aren’t “feminine.” My junior year of high school, I hacked mine off to shoulder-length with a pair of kitchen shears, and he wouldn’t speak to me for a week. Now I wear it even shorter, skimming my jawline.
The trunk slams shut, and my mom and I both jump, shoulders stiffening.
She gets out of the car first. I take a deep breath before I follow, unpeeling the backs of my arms from the seat. My father stands on the curb beside my luggage, hands on his hips like we’ve made him wait for hours instead of a few minutes. I only have two bags—a duffel and a hard-sided suitcase—while most of the other arriving students seem to have a whole moving van’s worth of stuff, plastic milk crates and IKEA bags and cardboard boxes labeled with Sharpie.
Next to the car ahead of ours, there’s a petite black girl standing on her tiptoes to hug her dad goodbye, tears streaming down her cheeks. He’s crying too but trying to hide it, clenching his jaw tight, squinting his eyes shut. I can’t imagine feeling that way. I can’t imagine feeling anything but relief at saying goodbye to my father.
I let him hug me, though, because I know it will be worse if I don’t. It’s important to him that we appear to be a happy family, even if there are only total strangers around to witness the charade. He still looks displeased—at the stiffness in my arms maybe, or the way I tensed up when he squeezed my shoulders.
He steps back to stand beside my mom, putting his hand on her hip—the spot where he knows her sciatica hurts the worst.
“Call us once you get settled,” she says, smiling wider to cover her wince.
I hug her too, and then I pick up my luggage and head toward the front door. My bags are heavy, but I feel so light, almost giddy with relief. I’m not going to turn around. I’m not going to watch them drive away.
Entering Whitten Hall feels like stepping into a sepia photograph, everything a different shade of brown. In another lifetime, the entryway might have been a formal parlor. Now it’s crowded with slouching sofas from multiple eras, plus a bulletin board showing a chaotic assortment of flyers for sorority rushes and intramural sports and LARPing clubs. A pop song from this summer drifts down from one of the rooms above.
Just inside the door, a girl wearing a red Gorman University tank top and denim cutoffs sits on a folding chair, a clipboard balanced on her lap. There’s a boy next to her, crouched down on the nubby tan carpet with a Steelers cap pulled low over his eyes. He touches her bare thighs, fingertips brushing the shredded hem of her shorts.
Oh my God. He’s grabbing her. I should—
But then she grins and ducks under the brim of his hat to kiss him. And keeps kissing him, like I’m not even here, like I’ve faded right into the beige walls.
I let my duffel bag thump to the floor. The girl separates from the guy’s face with a suction-cup pop and finally looks at me, her lips twisted in annoyance. “Yes?”
“I’m, um—moving in?” I should have let my parents come inside with me. I have no idea what I’m doing. Maybe I’m in the wrong place. Maybe I shouldn’t be here at all.
“Name?” the girl demands, looking down at the clipboard.
Her boyfriend gets up and saunters toward the door, pulling a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his nylon shorts.
“Carly,” I say, my voice scrabbling upward at the end as if it’s trying to hang on to a ledge. “Carly Schiller.”
“Welcome to Gorman University, Carly Schiller,” she says, flat and bored like she’s reading from a script. “I’m Samantha, your resident advisor. Looks like you’re on the second floor, with”—Samantha motions to a girl who just came down the stairs—“Hadley!”
The girl is gorgeous, with glowing pale skin and corn-silk blond hair pulled into a low ponytail. I’m suddenly aware of how flushed and shiny my face must be, how heavy my clothes feel with sweat, while her retro sundress—the same shade of blue as her eyes—looks fresh and breezy, perfect as her cat-eye liner. I bet my own black eyeliner is all smeared. I shouldn’t have bothered with it this morning, but I wanted to look… I don’t know. Like someone else.
“Meet your new roommate,” Samantha says. “Carly, this is—”
“Allison Hadley.”
Allison sticks her hand out for me to shake. Her nails are shiny, painted bright red, and there’s something sophisticated, almost grandiose, about the way she carries herself. It reminds me of the actresses in the 1940s movies my mom loves. Allison says her name like I should know it already.
“Where’s the rest of your stuff?” she asks.
I look helplessly at my two shabby bags, slumped against each other on the floor. “This is everything.”
Allison tilts her head, perfect ponytail swishing. “You didn’t bring a fan or anything?”
I shake my head.
“That’s okay,” she says. “I’ve got a couple, and I’ve had them all on full blast since this morning, so it’s slightly less sweltering up there. Here, let me help you with that.”
“Oh, no, you don’t have to—” I start, but she’s already lifting my suitcase, carrying it toward the stairs. I catch up with her, hoisting the duffel onto my shoulder.
The curving wooden banister is grand, but the steps are covered in the same dingy carpet as the entryway, strips of duct tape stuck over worn-down patches on the treads. Upstairs, the music is louder, syncopated beats vibrating the walls.
Allison stops on the landing, letting the suitcase drop. “Damn, girl. What did you pack in here?”
I’m hoping I’m too red-faced already for my blush to register. “Just… books. A lot of books. Sorry. I can—”
“It’s okay, you’re saving me a trip to the gym.” She continues down the hall, dragging my suitcase behind her like it’s a disobedient dog. “Bathroom’s there,” she tells me, gesturing with a point of her chin. “And this is us.”
