Haunted Waters, page 10
The room went dark. I could hear Walker’s lips part in a smile.
My cheeks warmed with embarrassment. I couldn’t do it. It was such a stupid small thing, and I couldn’t do it. If I failed at the start, the lowest point of entry, then where could I go from here? Flying was clearly far too advanced, but so was smoke bending. I didn’t understand myself, and I never would. My mind was a labyrinth of locked boxes.
“What?” Walker chuckled.
I rubbed my eyes, and a small smile formed.
“What was that?” He laughed openly.
“What? I couldn’t do it.” I said, thankful the room was dark, and he couldn’t see my face very well.
“Oh, but you did! You certainly found a way.” He said laughing even harder now.
That I had. I’d found a way. He always saw the good in me. I wasn’t dumb in his eyes. I wasn’t powerless. I was the girl who found a way.
His laughter was like music to my ears, and I wished I could see his dimples, because I knew they would be glorious. A treat sweeter than any summer peach.
The room illuminated in a soft orange glow. There they are. Those dimples, his smile. It warmed my heart, and I got lost in his presence.
His laughter dwindled, and his dazzling smile faded. His eyes dropped to the floor between us, and I grew alarmed.
“Did you do that?” he asked looking at the candle.
“Do what—”
The candle was lit. I froze. When did that happen? More importantly, how had it happened?
“Wow . . .”
“You didn’t bend the smoke; you lit the flame. You’re amazing!” Walker bounded to his feet, arms spread wide. I leapt up and hugged him, drawing in his coastal scent, and filling my lungs with pride.
I didn’t know how I’d done it, but that correlated with all the times before. I never knew how. It sort of just happened all on its own. When my mind turned off and my heart swelled . . . that’s when the magic happened.
I began to pull away so that I could tell Walker what I had just realized when his arms tightened around me. I froze momentarily and then sank back into his hold. He didn’t want to let go. He wanted to hold on to me a little while longer. Did he have feelings for me? It felt less of a celebratory hug and more like the hug you’d give somebody that you missed. Like he was soaking up all of me. Like he’d missed me, even though I’d been right here all along.
I laid my head down on his chest, and he rested his chin on top of my head. His hands slowly rubbed the middle of my back, diving a little deeper with each stroke. What was happening?
My heart beat against him. The low thuds were audible, and I knew he could hear it hammering between us. Hell, he could probably feel it. But it wasn’t just my heart; it was his too. Whatever I was feeling, I wasn’t alone. I dared to raise my head, afraid to snap us out of whatever this was, but longing for a kiss. Slowly, I lifted my eyes, trailing up his neck to his stubbled chin and resting my gaze on the bow of his lips. I swallowed the lump in my throat and then took the leap, looking deep into his golden eyes.
His gaze was intense. Like he was at war with himself. I swore he was trying to tell me something, but what? Did he want to kiss me?
He winced as if he was in physical pain and then pulled away abruptly. Just as quickly as it came, the moment was gone. He ran his hands through his hair, turning away from me. Had I done something wrong?
“Is everything okay?” I asked softly. I slid my hands into my back pockets and gnawed on my lip.
“Yeah. Yeah. No, it’s great. We’re getting somewhere. Pretty soon . . . we’ll be able to find Layla again.” My stomach sank with the sound of her name on his lips. The room turned icy and hollow. It was stupid for me to think there was room in his heart for anything other than her.
“That’s right. I’m sure we’ll find her soon.” I did what I could to reassure him and not look like a fool.
I thought back to the last time I’d seen her. She hadn’t even been interested in Walker. I didn’t know what was worse, knowing that he didn’t want me, or knowing that he’d chosen her. All I wanted was for him to be happy. And sure, in a perfect world, I’d get what I wanted too. But why her?
“So, what do you think is going to happen when you find her?” I pried.
“Well, shit . . . . I guess I’ll apologize,” he said, like it had knocked the breath out of him.
“For what!?” I snapped. Didn’t he know he’d done nothing wrong? That it was an accident?
“If it hadn’t been for me, she would have lived a long, full life. She’s out there, lost and probably scared, because of what I did. It doesn’t matter if it was an accident, it was my fault. I did it. I stole her life.” His voice sank into a pit so deep I wasn’t sure he could crawl out. Maybe he never had.
I didn’t like the way this sounded. Somehow, it felt personal. “Wait a minute, if you think you killed her . . . Then you think I killed Mason.” I cocked my head to one side.
Walker spun around in shock. “Whoa. No, no, no. I didn’t say that . . .”
“Yes, you did. That’s exactly what you’re saying. Oh my god, you think I killed them? All of them? Trinity? Big Jimmy? Lainey? Ethan and Mason? Oh my god . . .” I pressed my fingers to my temples as I took it all in. He thought I was a mass murderer. Was I?
“No!” he snapped.
“You’ve just been pretending that you think I’m amazing so that I don’t lose my magic. You’ve been trying to keep me on track so I would find Layla for you!” I took a step back.
The flame flickered madly, and Walker held his hands out in front of him. “Wilde . . . That’s not what I said, and that’s certainly not what I think. Don’t put words into my mouth.”
“It was an accident. They all were,” I said.
“I know . . .”
“Are you using me?” My heart stilled in anticipation of his answer. I didn’t know what I would do if the answer was yes. I certainly hadn’t been prepared to ask.
“Wilde, listen to me . . .” he began, as several other candles in the bedroom lit, casting dancing shadows on the walls surrounding us. “While it’s true I’m trying to keep you on track, and that I’m trying to teach you to find yourself and your power, it’s for you. I care about you. I . . . I love you, Wilde!”
The flames froze, and the shadows fixed in place.
“You’re the only family I’ve got left. You’re my only friend here. And it just so happens, you’re the only hope I have to find Layla.”
My heart thumped with disappointment. The flames grew tall, thrashing frantically about. Of course, he didn’t love me romantically. But was I so wrong to latch onto those three little words?
“Do you think I killed those people? Do you think I’m capable of bad things?” I asked.
“I think we’re all capable of making mistakes. Grave mistakes that have outcomes far beyond any premeditated measures. I know what happened was an accident. It’s just hard for me to admit that to myself.” Walker shook his head and swiped a finger at the corner of his eye. He wasn’t using me. He was just a guy riddled with guilt, in the same way that I’d been. We really were two of a kind, and I couldn’t believe I’d thought otherwise.
“You can’t call it an accident when I did it then take the blame when you do it. Either we’re both killers, or we’re both total screw-ups. You choose,” I said.
Walker closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. We’d been doing a lot of touching tonight, but I wasn’t complaining. Maybe it was the new normal? This one was different yet again. It wasn’t passionate like the last one, and it wasn’t celebratory like the first. This hug was . . . brotherly. It was the kind of hug you give to somebody that you both love and love to hate. It was firm and a little aggressive.
“Come here, you screw-up,” he said. I laughed and slapped his back with my own frustration.
“I love you too, buddy,” I said with a laugh. Walker flinched. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. That jab stung. He didn’t want me to love him like a buddy any more than I wanted the same from him. And I couldn’t help but wonder, what would our relationship be like if Layla ceased to exist?
“You think you can turn down your flames of rage now?” Walker joked as he eyed the candles. The room shook with the furious silhouettes of my heightened emotions. The light of a half-dozen candles burning like tiny torches.
“Oh my god! That’s what I wanted to tell you. I think I figured it out. The magic isn’t made from thought. The magic is made from feeling.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, all this time I’ve been trying to make things happen by imagining them, but it always seemed like it was when I stopped trying that the magic happened. I realized it was a feeling—an emotion—that turned the magic on.”
“Do you think you can control your feelings?”
“I don’t know?”
“Try it! You have about one, two, six candles lit in this room. Try to blow them out.”
I considered the half dozen candles spread throughout the master bedroom. Walker placed a finger over my lips. “No cheating,” he said.
I smirked and closed my eyes. It was hard to think of anything other than his skin upon my lips. I promised myself I could relive all the moments another time—if I got this right.
This time I didn’t think about the candles at all. I knew I wanted to blow them out; I didn’t have to imagine it. Instead, I chose to feel the subtle warmth leach from the room, envision the dim glow fade to black behind my eyelids as the flames extinguished, and feel the pride swell in my lungs like fresh air. And just like magic, the room went dark with victory.
CHAPTER 11
The next morning, I woke to a low hum outside my window. I thought little of it as I got ready to meet Walker. But just as I was about to leave the bedroom, the buzzing noise nagged at me. What was it? It was too quiet for a lawnmower, too constant for a plane. I crossed the room and slid the window open, sticking my head outside to look around. The hum turned to a buzz, and I noticed tons of tiny dots flying frantically about. Several of them took notice of me and swarmed, trying to scare me off.
I pulled back, slamming the window shut and windmilling my arms through the air. There was a massive beehive tucked into the eaves of the cabin just outside my window. And now there were several bees inside, buzzing around me as I darted in wild bursts around the bedroom. I swatted and twirled, but it only made them angrier. I let out a yelp and ran into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind me. I came face to face with Emma.
“What’s all that about?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
“So many bees. There are so many bees outside my window right now,” I said breathlessly. I thought I felt something on the back of my arm, and I swiped at it violently and craned my head to see if it was a bee.
“Really? Oh my god,” Emma said, flinching from my wild theatrics. She’d tied her hair back in a ponytail. Her black leggings and hot pink sports bra under a loose muscle tank told me she was on her way out. Her sneakers were caked with dried mud from all the hiking she’d gotten in while being in Baylor.
“Are you taking Gunner out?” I asked.
“Yeah, do you want to come?”
“I would love to, but I have plans to meet Walker this morning. We’re starting my training. There’s a theory I want to test today, and I’m hoping for a breakthrough.” I rolled my eyes, knowing my breakthrough wasn’t coming anytime soon.
“Oh yeah?” she joked, as we walked downstairs. Kai and Asher were in the middle of an intense video game in the living room. Kai was still half tucked in his sleeping bag, like a butterfly only half emerged, stopping his metamorphosis to play Night of Emerald’s Kingdom.
The coffee pot was only halfway filled, and Emma didn’t bother waiting for it to finish before she got on with her hike. Gunner did pirouettes out the back door as I waved goodbye to them. I wished I could get that excited about exercise. But right now, caffeine was the only thing I was enthusiastic about.
“Oh! You can’t do that!” Asher yelled, and a sleeping Noah stirred.
“Shut up, dude. You can’t wake up the entire house just because you’re losing,” Kai said.
I curled up on the sofa and watched the guys battle it out in the Castle of Greenland. I knew the game all too well. My little brother used to make me play with him. I used to pretend it was such a bother, but I secretly enjoyed it. But the one who’d liked the video games the most was Mason. It seemed odd that he wasn’t sprawled out on the sofa, controller in hand.
The cabin seemed a little quieter in his absence. Smaller, in a sense. The guys were so captivated by their game. Had they forgotten what had happened to Mason? And why wasn’t anybody blaming me? Surely, with my breaking all the lights in the cabin last night, somebody would have recognized me as a monster. I wanted to ask why they weren’t sad, but I knew I’d be getting myself into trouble if I did. Forgetting about Mason was better for everybody. And honestly, I was jealous. I wished I could unpack the guilt and grief, the worry and shame, and spend my day in the Castle of Greenland. I supposed I would have to mourn alone. That’s how it always felt, anyway.
The coffee maker beeped, and I leapt from the sofa. “Coffee?” I asked. I poured four mugs—two of them to go. As the coffee swirled at the top of the mug, I had a bad feeling about Asher. I mixed in creamer and sugar while I contemplated saying anything. I didn’t want to give any credence to the thought, as that’s when the bad things would happen. I handed the guys their coffee and said, “Hey, be really careful today. There’s a beehive outside,” as if it were nothing.
“Wait, what?” Asher asked. I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t nothing when he was deathly allergic. I knew that. He knew that.
“There is a huge beehive in the eaves of the cabin. Right outside. We need to call a fumigator or something.”
“Shit,” Asher said, raking a hand through his hair.
“Looks like you’re staying inside today,” Kai laughed.
“I’ll call somebody. I just don’t know who takes care of these kinds of things. But I’ll figure it out,” I said, taking the to-go coffees and backing out the patio door.
“Be careful!” Kai yelled.
“Dude, shut up!” Noah grumbled from within his sleeping bag. The door slammed shut and I flinched, hearing the muffled groaning inside. I turned away and ducked my head while I hurried off the patio. The coffee spilled down my knuckles as I reached the lawn.
It was going to be a warm day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the waters were calm. I sat on the end of the dock, sipping my coffee and searching my phone for bee removal in the Baylor Lake area. There were a few chat threads, but nothing official to be found in the small town. What did these people do when a swarm of bees moved in? I scrolled, searching for answers, and ended up calling the only option I found. Bobby Keller, a retired fumigator who still did side jobs for neighbors. I shrugged; it would have to do. I couldn’t have hundreds of bees swarming the cabin, especially when Asher was allergic—and I had a propensity to make bad things happen.
I scheduled Bobby for that evening.
When I heard the gentle lapping of lake water against a canoe, I knew that Walker was paddling into the cove. I could only make out a baseball cap and an amber-colored T-shirt, but I felt his smile.
That guy right there, he loves me.
Maybe like a sister, but still. I’d been holding onto the thought that maybe he’d been lying to himself. I bit my lip in anticipation and watched him slowly glide toward the dock. Today was going to be a good day.
“Are you ready for this?” I asked, clapping my hands together.
“Am I ready? Are you ready?” he smirked.
“What have we got planned today, boss?” I was eager to test my theory.
“I don’t know, how do explosions sound?” He took the coffee from my hand and helped me into the canoe.
“Explosions?” Now that was exciting. Way better than the elementary task of smoke-bending.
“Have you ever gone trapshooting?” he asked, pushing away from the dock.
“No, what’s that?”
“It’s when a machine throws clay pigeons and you try to shoot them while they’re in the air.”
“Oh, no. I’ve never shot a gun before.” I searched the canoe for a shotgun.
“Who needs a gun when you have magic?” he said, a twinkle in his eye.
What? Was I the smoking gun? Did he expect me to shatter a clay pigeon with my mind? And then I remembered, that’s exactly what I’d done to the light bulbs in the cabin last night. I shrugged, unsure of myself. “I guess we could try it.” I eyed a small fishing boat near shore.
It took twice as long to get to our destination as I had expected. Maybe it was the performance anxiety, or maybe it was because I had drunk a large coffee on the way over, but either way, I had to pee. Bad. When the canoe bumped against the shore, I leapt out and ran into the forest to find a spot completely hidden from Walker.
I sighed in relief, zipped my shorts, and peered around. I’d been so focused on hiding from Walker, I hadn’t realized what a great job I’d done. I must have gone farther than I thought, because I couldn’t even tell which direction the lake was. The forest was dense with trees and seemed to go on forever. I listened for the water and the distant sound of motors on the lake, but all I heard were the bird songs emanating from the treetops.
“Walker!?” I yelled. My voice echoed in a way it shouldn’t. Like my call had bounced off an invisible bubble and ricocheted back to me. Tiny goosebumps prickled my arms. Something was off.
Was I in the void? I spun around, trying to read between the lines. What was I not seeing here? What was right in front of my face?
I heard her before I saw her. A giggle that sounded pure as the songbirds and as joyous as a child playing in sprinkler water on a hot summer day. But Layla’s echo was cut short. The sound was not traveling the distance as it should. Whatever was happening, we were trapped in it together.
