A Perfect Mistake, page 7
I glanced upwards at my roof, wondering if there was more poop waiting for me there. “Is there a point to this call?”
“There is. Wear sneakers. I’ll pick you up at six.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the passenger seat. I should never have roped Lexie into this mess, and then she wouldn’t be attempting to make things worse. I shifted the car into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot. A quick glance back tugged at my heart. Cassie’s death was going to hurt, like all the good clients did. I didn’t want to think about how much more it would hurt if I continued to blur the lines of professional and personal with Cam.
*****
Cam
The curved green handhold above my head lay just out of reach, but it wasn’t getting the best of me, not today. I pushed onto my toes and wrapped my fingers around the holding, drawing myself up. I realigned my body with the wall and reached for another. My muscles ached with satisfaction. It felt damn good to do something normal, even if the timing was nine hours later than usual, thanks to visiting my grandmother that morning.
The rope around my waist tugged and I looked down.
“Feeling better?” Grant was on the ground, at the other end of the rope, belaying the climb. We were far enough apart that I doubted a hearing person could hear, and noted Grant’s mouth was uncommonly still.
I angled myself securely against the wall and released one hand. “Yes.”
Grant shook his head but moved both hands onto the rope. I turned back to the wall and completed my climb.
The second my feet hit the ground, Grant waved for attention. “So,” he signed, prolonging the O until his arm was outstretched. “I saw that climb, you’re becoming slow. Old man.”
I unhooked my equipment and dropped it to the ground with a satisfying vibration at my feet. “You want to start with the ‘old’? Last I checked your birthday came first.”
Grant grinned. “True. But I’m not falling over some girl’s feet.”
I had no plans to fall, especially in some pathetic display. I arched an eyebrow. “Funny, I thought you exchanged numbers with someone last night.”
Grant’s grin grew and I smelled trouble. He glanced over his shoulder. “I did, but not for me. Not yet, at least.”
I shifted my focus to the entrance, where Lexie dragged Nica by the hand into the climbing area. Both their mouths moved—Lexie’s tilted upwards, Nica’s down—the facial expressions made it clear whose idea this meet-up belonged to.
Nica wrenched her hand free and held both of them up, palms out. Exasperation covered her face and all I wanted to do was rub out the crease between her eyebrows. The attraction between us begged me to cross the room. I had no idea how I was supposed to resist her. No clue if I could.
One question remained: Could she?
Arms still raised, she turned away from Lexie. I knew the moment she saw me, our eyes meeting like a live wire. Her hands slowly slid down, and it occurred to me she could have been fighting against Lexie because of the rock climbing, not necessarily because of me. I all but held my breath, waiting to see what happened next. Torn on which results I wanted more.
Grant crossed the room, arms moving as he approached. I couldn’t catch his signs, but then again they were in my peripheral. I continued to hold Nica’s stare, as she did for me. This had gone past surprise, past polite gaze. We had something here, something stronger than the ethics of her job.
She broke the stare, turning to Grant, and I glanced down at my shoes. I couldn’t mess with her job, not when I worked so hard for my own. Still did. My job was a part of me. Who was I to mess things up for someone else?
Grant waved. “Get over here.”
Each step had cosmic implications. My feet felt heavy, each stride held an importance or signification, or some shit. I couldn’t explain or describe it. I just knew Nica was special and moments like this were not to be wasted.
She had her bottom lip between her teeth, cheeks rosy, and the image went straight to my dick. I needed to stop this train of thought now before my track pants gave me away.
“They’ve never been rock climbing before,” Grant signed, mouth moving.
“Oh really,” I asked in both languages, hoping for any excuse to get up close and personal with Nica.
“… never… the chance, right, Nica?” Lexie said.
Nica shook her head, hand pressing on her forehead. “No, you never mentioned. This is a set up. A trap. And I…” Her hands lowered. Her eyes, warm pools of brown, locked on my own. Two quick breaths that did nothing for my building libido, and she turned sharply and headed for the hall.
I jogged after her, catching up on the other side of the double doors. She had stopped, leaning against the wall, those frequent breaths making it damn hard to keep my gaze on her face. But her eyes were closed, and somehow I all but felt the whirlwind of emotions floating around inside her. I barely knew her, yet this was no stranger. Not to me.
Everything in me screamed to get out now, this was how Mom trapped Dad. But leaving wasn’t an option. I settled against the wall and placed a hand on her shoulder.
Without opening her eyes she signed, “I should go.”
I waited and when she opened her eyes I had to fight against hauling her in for a kiss. “Probably. But I’m not looking for anything other than a good time. Stay. Have fun. Or do you not have fun?”
One side of her mouth quirked, then fell. “I work with frail elders, often times unable to meet all their needs.”
“So you need a stress release.” I inched closer, unable to resist, wanting a much different stress release than climbing. “Consider this a coincidence, like meeting with the elders. We climb, we laugh, we go our separate ways. Or I can leave and you and Lexie can climb. No harm done. No foul play. Just two adults meeting in odd places. Is that really against your ethics?”
Her smile was closer to a grimace. “Little bit. I shouldn’t be here with you.” She shook her head. “And I sound like a broken record. I’m sorry, I really am. You visiting your grandmother tomorrow?”
“Not tomorrow. I’ll visit again over the weekend.” She had been full of life, sparks of her usual vibrant self that morning, no doubt due to this thing with Nica. I’d breathed a little easier all day since. A group of teenagers raced past us, creating a wind tunnel. Nica didn’t move, didn’t sign. She stood there, staring at me. “What’s wrong?”
She placed a hand on my shoulder and I didn’t miss this was Veronica the social worker who’d come out to play. “I saw her at lunch. She’s sliding.”
“No, she was showing more of a reason to fight, she was going to hold on.” All my emotions, everything shifted enough that I could have stood on quicksand. One moment my world faced upright, the woman I wanted in front of me. The next, none of it mattered.
“I’m sorry.”
My mind spun in a million directions. The momentary hope vanished, replaced with the bitter dread. Reality was going to bite me on the ass. I fell back to the wall, my head against the hard surface. Here I’d been climbing and interacting with Nica, while my grandmother lay in a small bed, dying. I studied the exposed beams of the ceiling, trying to hold myself together.
Two hands settled on my shoulders, and then a soft body pressed against mine. Nica placed her head against my chest, wrapped those arms tight around me. I crushed her against me, not able to hold back anymore. Not when my world fell apart, and she was the stability I craved.
I placed two fingers under her chin, bringing those fathomless eyes up to mind. We were so close, inches apart. One shift from either of us and our lips would meet, and I knew too well how good she’d taste. The blacks in her eyes deepened, but neither of us moved, remaining in this eye lock. And even though no one moved I all but felt her hands over me, her body under me, her lips on me. With her frequent breaths, she had to feel it, too. Best damn chemistry I’d ever had, and it was with the one person who needed to stay away.
She felt good in my arms, right even. And that scared the crap out of me. For the first time in my life I understood why my father did whatever my mother said. But I would never understand the extent he rolled over, belly up, even while hurting me.
I let go of Nica. “Thank you. Now, let me show you how Grant’s gym works, it’s the least I can do.”
*****
Nica
I tugged at the rope around my waist, then on the end connected to the wall in front of me, following the different colored hand holdings until my neck hurt. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but I’d also never thought I’d do something like this.
Lexie stood beside me. To anyone else she’d appear calm and cool, but I saw the slight shift in her shoulders and fingers. I pointed to the top of the wall. “You sure about this?”
She forced a smile that leaked false bravado. “Of course.”
“Why don’t you just admit we aren’t here to climb?”
She fisted her hands on her hips. “You could be off climbing all over Cam right now, but, no, ethics, so instead we climb.” She swallowed, eyes on the wall, and I knew right then and there I’d be climbing alone.
Cam and Grant came over, and Lexie pointed to the wall. “That’s tall.”
Grant grinned. “A small wall wasn’t going to bring in the crowds.”
Lexie sucked in a breath, and I turned to Cam, far too aware of his presence. His eyes raked over my body, making me tingle and want his touch in ways I had no right to do, reminding me of our night together and how good it felt. I tried to convince myself it was the alcohol that made it so good, but when standing in front of him doing nothing turned me on, I knew it wasn’t the intoxication. Then he pointed and I realized he checked out my harness, and even though it made no sense, I deflated. “That comfortable?”
I raised a shoulder. Were harnesses supposed to be comfortable? Certainly no different than the throbbing I felt that wouldn’t get any release. Not at least until I made it home.
He stepped into me, reaching to my waist to tug on the ropes, and I had to hold my breath. All the nerve endings within a foot radius of him sparked to life, practically getting off through proximity alone. I had to lock my knees before I embarrassed myself. I really should have taken him up on his offer to leave, rudeness aside; this vibe between us grew too strong. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but he stepped back, giving me much needed space and air. “Looks good, you ready to try this?”
No, but if I climb I can get away from you. I managed to smile and since Lexie and Grant chatted, Cam went over some rules and techniques. He held onto the ropes as I tried to figure out which holdings to grab. Somehow my attempts to stay away from this man had turned into him being the one in control of whether I fell to the ground and broke my arm or not.
Wall, focus on the wall. I grabbed a blue holding and hauled my body up, stepping on a yellow one. Then reached for the next one I could grab, this one green, before leaving the comfort of the floor. Lexie stood at the wall next to me, and I grew hopeful she’d give this a try. After all, she was the thrill seeker of the two of us.
I made it a few feet before stopping and looking down. Cam stood with legs spread, steady and sure, holding onto the rope. From my height his hair flopped over his forehead, calling for my touch.
“You okay?” he asked, removing one hand from the ropes and causing me to grip the wall tighter.
I managed to let go of a yellow holding. “Fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“Oh, and you did so well the first time you climbed?”
“Grant’s been into this since college, I still thought I was Superman back then.”
I drew myself up another level and then turned back to him. “So Superman but not Batman or Wolverine?”
“Careful, you’re mixing up Marvel and D.C.”
“Is that a problem?”
He smiled and even from my position I caught the glint in his eyes. “Depends on your nerd level. Comics aren’t really my thing.”
“Same. But climbing is?”
He tugged on the rope, not enough to throw me off, but enough I felt them, and considering they went around my waist and between my legs, it had an erotic feel that I would not have anticipated. So much for cooling off.
“Yes, climbing is. Get to the top, then you’ll get it.”
I nodded and returned to the wall, eager to place more distance between us, though I feared I could move across the ocean and still feel his magnetism.
Lexie still had a foot on the ground, and Grant was hands on showing her how to move. Another time, a different life, and that could have been Cam and me. No, scratch that; we’d be off in an office somewhere tearing at each other’s clothes.
My breath hitched and I wiped my mind, focusing on the wall. Tonight the only thrill I’d feel was reaching the top, then going home alone.
Chapter 7
Cam
We climbed until the gym closed. Or rather, Nica climbed as Lexie barely made it off the ground. The momentary panic from Nica’s concerns over Grandma had left, only to return like a sledgehammer when I arrived home. So I worked until the moon angled down into my view, then a little longer. It was after one by the time I fell asleep—but at least I slept for a few hours. In the morning even thoughts of work couldn’t keep my grandmother out of my head. It spun until logic leaked from my ears. I struggled with putting coherent thoughts together, with making sense out of any damn thing. I skipped the gym, grabbed a large coffee, and settled into work early. Nica’s warning flashed through my head.
Grandma couldn’t be ready.
I wasn’t ready.
The day crashed around me. Each step of my job, a job I knew so well, became a struggle. After my fourth fuck-up I had to get out of there. If I stayed I’d only produce more work I couldn’t handle. I had to see my grandmother. The work would wait. It didn’t have a prognosis of a week or two. She did.
That thought alone squeezed my heart tight. How was I expected to be on my usual A-game at a time like this? I wasn’t and I was willing to admit that, at least to Matt.
The traffic was thankfully light and with my windows rolled down, I let the fresh air recharge my senses. I focused on the facts: my parents were flying in that day; my brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles had heeded my words and were visiting. One small victory for the baby of the family. Grandma was going to have a busy weekend. She deserved it.
Dread hit my stomach when I reached Hospice House. A sickening sensation that could make a starved man feel full. I signed in and tried not to notice the pitying gaze from the receptionist. I ignored her and entered my grandmother’s room.
I almost didn’t recognize her.
She sat up in her bed, leaning against pillows. Heavy eyes watched the television. Her hair was half flat from napping. One button popped open on her housecoat, a slight frown on her face. What hurt the most was the dullness in her eyes.
I sucked in some air and counted to ten to center myself before I stepped in front of the television and waved. A smile worked its way over her face, and some light shined back into her eyes. Not enough, dammit. Nica’s right.
“Visiting an old lady before seeing a young one?” Grandma smirked.
I did my best to smile and sat down on the bed, resting one hand on her foot, needing that extra connection. “You look tired.”
“I look awful. I’ve decided I want to be twenty-one when I die. That was a good age. Before children damaged my body.”
“I’m not ready for you to die.” I couldn’t help blurting it out.
“It’s not your decision. It’s not my decision either, and I’ve had a good life.”
“Who will whack me on my head and set me straight?” Grandma was always the voice of reason, my very own Jiminy Cricket.
“Veronica.”
I shook my head and started to sign, but Grandma cut me off.
“You two are meant to be.” At my stern expression Grandma narrowed her eyes. “I may be old, I may be deaf, but I am not blind. Don’t mess this up. She’s perfect for you and you are perfect for her.”
I glanced to the ceiling, wondering how Grandma remained so positive about love and relationships. Sure, she had the real thing with Grandpa, but when Mom stole Dad away from the family, wasn’t that enough to change her mind?
A frail hand landed on my own. “I know your childhood was difficult. I know your father should have known better, and your mother should have cared more. But they are just two individuals. Don’t close yourself off when the right woman is right in front of you. She won’t change you, she’ll make you better.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Maybe not now. But when you truly know a person, then you’ll know what you stand to lose, or gain, by being with them.” She touched my cheek. “I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.”
Grandma’s smile was rueful. “Somewhat. But you let those scars remain deep inside. The right love will heal you.”
Her face filled with such determination I didn’t bother arguing. I knew some scars remained, and sure as hell mine were deep enough.
*****
My phone vibrated as I made my way to my car. A text. From my mother. I unlocked my doors with more force than necessary. My mother never texted; she much preferred to speak.
Rhonda: Sarah says you never called her back.
I settled in behind the wheel. Was that the strange voice number that called? I never paid them any attention, because anyone that wanted to reach me knew a voice call didn’t work.
Cam: I never got her call.
Rhonda: Then I’m going to have to give you her number again. Really, Cameron, it’s like you’re not even trying.
I contemplated heading back into the building and showing this to Grandma. Surely she’d see why I didn’t need a relationship. I still had this parasite trying to set me up. Two women in my life, both with matchmaking ambitions when I wanted neither. Although I had to admit, Grandma’s contender tempted me more than I’d have liked.
“There is. Wear sneakers. I’ll pick you up at six.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the passenger seat. I should never have roped Lexie into this mess, and then she wouldn’t be attempting to make things worse. I shifted the car into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot. A quick glance back tugged at my heart. Cassie’s death was going to hurt, like all the good clients did. I didn’t want to think about how much more it would hurt if I continued to blur the lines of professional and personal with Cam.
*****
Cam
The curved green handhold above my head lay just out of reach, but it wasn’t getting the best of me, not today. I pushed onto my toes and wrapped my fingers around the holding, drawing myself up. I realigned my body with the wall and reached for another. My muscles ached with satisfaction. It felt damn good to do something normal, even if the timing was nine hours later than usual, thanks to visiting my grandmother that morning.
The rope around my waist tugged and I looked down.
“Feeling better?” Grant was on the ground, at the other end of the rope, belaying the climb. We were far enough apart that I doubted a hearing person could hear, and noted Grant’s mouth was uncommonly still.
I angled myself securely against the wall and released one hand. “Yes.”
Grant shook his head but moved both hands onto the rope. I turned back to the wall and completed my climb.
The second my feet hit the ground, Grant waved for attention. “So,” he signed, prolonging the O until his arm was outstretched. “I saw that climb, you’re becoming slow. Old man.”
I unhooked my equipment and dropped it to the ground with a satisfying vibration at my feet. “You want to start with the ‘old’? Last I checked your birthday came first.”
Grant grinned. “True. But I’m not falling over some girl’s feet.”
I had no plans to fall, especially in some pathetic display. I arched an eyebrow. “Funny, I thought you exchanged numbers with someone last night.”
Grant’s grin grew and I smelled trouble. He glanced over his shoulder. “I did, but not for me. Not yet, at least.”
I shifted my focus to the entrance, where Lexie dragged Nica by the hand into the climbing area. Both their mouths moved—Lexie’s tilted upwards, Nica’s down—the facial expressions made it clear whose idea this meet-up belonged to.
Nica wrenched her hand free and held both of them up, palms out. Exasperation covered her face and all I wanted to do was rub out the crease between her eyebrows. The attraction between us begged me to cross the room. I had no idea how I was supposed to resist her. No clue if I could.
One question remained: Could she?
Arms still raised, she turned away from Lexie. I knew the moment she saw me, our eyes meeting like a live wire. Her hands slowly slid down, and it occurred to me she could have been fighting against Lexie because of the rock climbing, not necessarily because of me. I all but held my breath, waiting to see what happened next. Torn on which results I wanted more.
Grant crossed the room, arms moving as he approached. I couldn’t catch his signs, but then again they were in my peripheral. I continued to hold Nica’s stare, as she did for me. This had gone past surprise, past polite gaze. We had something here, something stronger than the ethics of her job.
She broke the stare, turning to Grant, and I glanced down at my shoes. I couldn’t mess with her job, not when I worked so hard for my own. Still did. My job was a part of me. Who was I to mess things up for someone else?
Grant waved. “Get over here.”
Each step had cosmic implications. My feet felt heavy, each stride held an importance or signification, or some shit. I couldn’t explain or describe it. I just knew Nica was special and moments like this were not to be wasted.
She had her bottom lip between her teeth, cheeks rosy, and the image went straight to my dick. I needed to stop this train of thought now before my track pants gave me away.
“They’ve never been rock climbing before,” Grant signed, mouth moving.
“Oh really,” I asked in both languages, hoping for any excuse to get up close and personal with Nica.
“… never… the chance, right, Nica?” Lexie said.
Nica shook her head, hand pressing on her forehead. “No, you never mentioned. This is a set up. A trap. And I…” Her hands lowered. Her eyes, warm pools of brown, locked on my own. Two quick breaths that did nothing for my building libido, and she turned sharply and headed for the hall.
I jogged after her, catching up on the other side of the double doors. She had stopped, leaning against the wall, those frequent breaths making it damn hard to keep my gaze on her face. But her eyes were closed, and somehow I all but felt the whirlwind of emotions floating around inside her. I barely knew her, yet this was no stranger. Not to me.
Everything in me screamed to get out now, this was how Mom trapped Dad. But leaving wasn’t an option. I settled against the wall and placed a hand on her shoulder.
Without opening her eyes she signed, “I should go.”
I waited and when she opened her eyes I had to fight against hauling her in for a kiss. “Probably. But I’m not looking for anything other than a good time. Stay. Have fun. Or do you not have fun?”
One side of her mouth quirked, then fell. “I work with frail elders, often times unable to meet all their needs.”
“So you need a stress release.” I inched closer, unable to resist, wanting a much different stress release than climbing. “Consider this a coincidence, like meeting with the elders. We climb, we laugh, we go our separate ways. Or I can leave and you and Lexie can climb. No harm done. No foul play. Just two adults meeting in odd places. Is that really against your ethics?”
Her smile was closer to a grimace. “Little bit. I shouldn’t be here with you.” She shook her head. “And I sound like a broken record. I’m sorry, I really am. You visiting your grandmother tomorrow?”
“Not tomorrow. I’ll visit again over the weekend.” She had been full of life, sparks of her usual vibrant self that morning, no doubt due to this thing with Nica. I’d breathed a little easier all day since. A group of teenagers raced past us, creating a wind tunnel. Nica didn’t move, didn’t sign. She stood there, staring at me. “What’s wrong?”
She placed a hand on my shoulder and I didn’t miss this was Veronica the social worker who’d come out to play. “I saw her at lunch. She’s sliding.”
“No, she was showing more of a reason to fight, she was going to hold on.” All my emotions, everything shifted enough that I could have stood on quicksand. One moment my world faced upright, the woman I wanted in front of me. The next, none of it mattered.
“I’m sorry.”
My mind spun in a million directions. The momentary hope vanished, replaced with the bitter dread. Reality was going to bite me on the ass. I fell back to the wall, my head against the hard surface. Here I’d been climbing and interacting with Nica, while my grandmother lay in a small bed, dying. I studied the exposed beams of the ceiling, trying to hold myself together.
Two hands settled on my shoulders, and then a soft body pressed against mine. Nica placed her head against my chest, wrapped those arms tight around me. I crushed her against me, not able to hold back anymore. Not when my world fell apart, and she was the stability I craved.
I placed two fingers under her chin, bringing those fathomless eyes up to mind. We were so close, inches apart. One shift from either of us and our lips would meet, and I knew too well how good she’d taste. The blacks in her eyes deepened, but neither of us moved, remaining in this eye lock. And even though no one moved I all but felt her hands over me, her body under me, her lips on me. With her frequent breaths, she had to feel it, too. Best damn chemistry I’d ever had, and it was with the one person who needed to stay away.
She felt good in my arms, right even. And that scared the crap out of me. For the first time in my life I understood why my father did whatever my mother said. But I would never understand the extent he rolled over, belly up, even while hurting me.
I let go of Nica. “Thank you. Now, let me show you how Grant’s gym works, it’s the least I can do.”
*****
Nica
I tugged at the rope around my waist, then on the end connected to the wall in front of me, following the different colored hand holdings until my neck hurt. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but I’d also never thought I’d do something like this.
Lexie stood beside me. To anyone else she’d appear calm and cool, but I saw the slight shift in her shoulders and fingers. I pointed to the top of the wall. “You sure about this?”
She forced a smile that leaked false bravado. “Of course.”
“Why don’t you just admit we aren’t here to climb?”
She fisted her hands on her hips. “You could be off climbing all over Cam right now, but, no, ethics, so instead we climb.” She swallowed, eyes on the wall, and I knew right then and there I’d be climbing alone.
Cam and Grant came over, and Lexie pointed to the wall. “That’s tall.”
Grant grinned. “A small wall wasn’t going to bring in the crowds.”
Lexie sucked in a breath, and I turned to Cam, far too aware of his presence. His eyes raked over my body, making me tingle and want his touch in ways I had no right to do, reminding me of our night together and how good it felt. I tried to convince myself it was the alcohol that made it so good, but when standing in front of him doing nothing turned me on, I knew it wasn’t the intoxication. Then he pointed and I realized he checked out my harness, and even though it made no sense, I deflated. “That comfortable?”
I raised a shoulder. Were harnesses supposed to be comfortable? Certainly no different than the throbbing I felt that wouldn’t get any release. Not at least until I made it home.
He stepped into me, reaching to my waist to tug on the ropes, and I had to hold my breath. All the nerve endings within a foot radius of him sparked to life, practically getting off through proximity alone. I had to lock my knees before I embarrassed myself. I really should have taken him up on his offer to leave, rudeness aside; this vibe between us grew too strong. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but he stepped back, giving me much needed space and air. “Looks good, you ready to try this?”
No, but if I climb I can get away from you. I managed to smile and since Lexie and Grant chatted, Cam went over some rules and techniques. He held onto the ropes as I tried to figure out which holdings to grab. Somehow my attempts to stay away from this man had turned into him being the one in control of whether I fell to the ground and broke my arm or not.
Wall, focus on the wall. I grabbed a blue holding and hauled my body up, stepping on a yellow one. Then reached for the next one I could grab, this one green, before leaving the comfort of the floor. Lexie stood at the wall next to me, and I grew hopeful she’d give this a try. After all, she was the thrill seeker of the two of us.
I made it a few feet before stopping and looking down. Cam stood with legs spread, steady and sure, holding onto the rope. From my height his hair flopped over his forehead, calling for my touch.
“You okay?” he asked, removing one hand from the ropes and causing me to grip the wall tighter.
I managed to let go of a yellow holding. “Fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“Oh, and you did so well the first time you climbed?”
“Grant’s been into this since college, I still thought I was Superman back then.”
I drew myself up another level and then turned back to him. “So Superman but not Batman or Wolverine?”
“Careful, you’re mixing up Marvel and D.C.”
“Is that a problem?”
He smiled and even from my position I caught the glint in his eyes. “Depends on your nerd level. Comics aren’t really my thing.”
“Same. But climbing is?”
He tugged on the rope, not enough to throw me off, but enough I felt them, and considering they went around my waist and between my legs, it had an erotic feel that I would not have anticipated. So much for cooling off.
“Yes, climbing is. Get to the top, then you’ll get it.”
I nodded and returned to the wall, eager to place more distance between us, though I feared I could move across the ocean and still feel his magnetism.
Lexie still had a foot on the ground, and Grant was hands on showing her how to move. Another time, a different life, and that could have been Cam and me. No, scratch that; we’d be off in an office somewhere tearing at each other’s clothes.
My breath hitched and I wiped my mind, focusing on the wall. Tonight the only thrill I’d feel was reaching the top, then going home alone.
Chapter 7
Cam
We climbed until the gym closed. Or rather, Nica climbed as Lexie barely made it off the ground. The momentary panic from Nica’s concerns over Grandma had left, only to return like a sledgehammer when I arrived home. So I worked until the moon angled down into my view, then a little longer. It was after one by the time I fell asleep—but at least I slept for a few hours. In the morning even thoughts of work couldn’t keep my grandmother out of my head. It spun until logic leaked from my ears. I struggled with putting coherent thoughts together, with making sense out of any damn thing. I skipped the gym, grabbed a large coffee, and settled into work early. Nica’s warning flashed through my head.
Grandma couldn’t be ready.
I wasn’t ready.
The day crashed around me. Each step of my job, a job I knew so well, became a struggle. After my fourth fuck-up I had to get out of there. If I stayed I’d only produce more work I couldn’t handle. I had to see my grandmother. The work would wait. It didn’t have a prognosis of a week or two. She did.
That thought alone squeezed my heart tight. How was I expected to be on my usual A-game at a time like this? I wasn’t and I was willing to admit that, at least to Matt.
The traffic was thankfully light and with my windows rolled down, I let the fresh air recharge my senses. I focused on the facts: my parents were flying in that day; my brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles had heeded my words and were visiting. One small victory for the baby of the family. Grandma was going to have a busy weekend. She deserved it.
Dread hit my stomach when I reached Hospice House. A sickening sensation that could make a starved man feel full. I signed in and tried not to notice the pitying gaze from the receptionist. I ignored her and entered my grandmother’s room.
I almost didn’t recognize her.
She sat up in her bed, leaning against pillows. Heavy eyes watched the television. Her hair was half flat from napping. One button popped open on her housecoat, a slight frown on her face. What hurt the most was the dullness in her eyes.
I sucked in some air and counted to ten to center myself before I stepped in front of the television and waved. A smile worked its way over her face, and some light shined back into her eyes. Not enough, dammit. Nica’s right.
“Visiting an old lady before seeing a young one?” Grandma smirked.
I did my best to smile and sat down on the bed, resting one hand on her foot, needing that extra connection. “You look tired.”
“I look awful. I’ve decided I want to be twenty-one when I die. That was a good age. Before children damaged my body.”
“I’m not ready for you to die.” I couldn’t help blurting it out.
“It’s not your decision. It’s not my decision either, and I’ve had a good life.”
“Who will whack me on my head and set me straight?” Grandma was always the voice of reason, my very own Jiminy Cricket.
“Veronica.”
I shook my head and started to sign, but Grandma cut me off.
“You two are meant to be.” At my stern expression Grandma narrowed her eyes. “I may be old, I may be deaf, but I am not blind. Don’t mess this up. She’s perfect for you and you are perfect for her.”
I glanced to the ceiling, wondering how Grandma remained so positive about love and relationships. Sure, she had the real thing with Grandpa, but when Mom stole Dad away from the family, wasn’t that enough to change her mind?
A frail hand landed on my own. “I know your childhood was difficult. I know your father should have known better, and your mother should have cared more. But they are just two individuals. Don’t close yourself off when the right woman is right in front of you. She won’t change you, she’ll make you better.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Maybe not now. But when you truly know a person, then you’ll know what you stand to lose, or gain, by being with them.” She touched my cheek. “I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.”
Grandma’s smile was rueful. “Somewhat. But you let those scars remain deep inside. The right love will heal you.”
Her face filled with such determination I didn’t bother arguing. I knew some scars remained, and sure as hell mine were deep enough.
*****
My phone vibrated as I made my way to my car. A text. From my mother. I unlocked my doors with more force than necessary. My mother never texted; she much preferred to speak.
Rhonda: Sarah says you never called her back.
I settled in behind the wheel. Was that the strange voice number that called? I never paid them any attention, because anyone that wanted to reach me knew a voice call didn’t work.
Cam: I never got her call.
Rhonda: Then I’m going to have to give you her number again. Really, Cameron, it’s like you’re not even trying.
I contemplated heading back into the building and showing this to Grandma. Surely she’d see why I didn’t need a relationship. I still had this parasite trying to set me up. Two women in my life, both with matchmaking ambitions when I wanted neither. Although I had to admit, Grandma’s contender tempted me more than I’d have liked.
