“No, although it wouldn’t be too late,” she answered with a wink. “But I wanted to, so badly. I know it wasn’t Faolan, it was his father, and there wasn’t a thing he could do to help me. Had he answered my call for aid, his father would have killed me for it and likely anyone else he showed mercy to. But my soul doesn’t understand or care much for his situation or station. It hurts just the same. It hurts because he didn’t act sooner, if that makes sense. By the time he ended his father’s reign, I was already broken.”

  “What stopped you from taking his life?”

  “Helio, my oathed mate. He didn’t really stop me as much as remind me of who I am today. I do not want to bring my firstborn into a world with more blood on my hands. Faolan is trying to repair that which is broken, not just by himself but by his father. That takes courage and care. I have accepted what has happened and his wish to make amends in the old ways of our people.”

  “Do I even want to know what that would entail?” I asked. “Jesus, you’re not going to lash him, are you?”

  “Most certainly not. These are the ways before the wars,” she replied. “I will return tomorrow. Faolan will announce the wrongdoings of the Winter Court against me, will offer me land and remove his crown and offer me a sword. I will choose which I will take, some of his territory or his life. It is purely for show, as I’ve accepted a piece of land that borders the Court of Less and Autumn Court. The land will then be gifted to bridge Autumn and Dark. I heard from Nix that Solas has gifted Aeden land for his home in Autumn. This will shorten the road back home.”

  “Why not keep it?” I asked.

  She smiled a very Elswyth grin, lighting up her entire face. “I do not need more land, Perdi. I have what I need, and I’m grateful for what I’ve been blessed with. Greed risks all, and I’ve too much to lose now.”

  Helio found his way through the room, his eyes only on Elswyth. Seeing her light up by his very presence and how his body molded into hers, told me I could let go of my worry for her. Solas had helped her choose a fine man, one who loved all of her, including her broken pieces. We chatted as though I had known Helio for as long as I’ve known Elswyth. We laughed, and I cried when she left. I’d see her again upon the birth of their son. Her gift to me couldn’t be held in my hands, only in my heart. She was hope. She, like me, had once been delivered into hell and clawed her way out on her knees. Every time I thought of her, I thought of courage and determination. She never gave up, and finally, the Gods and Goddesses had taken notice and blessed her with the future she deserved.

  The evening had worn me down into something pleasantly tired. I wanted to sleep but didn’t want to leave. My soul stretched her lazy bones and breathed a sigh of relief. She, like me, felt utterly relaxed for once. Aeden stepped to my side. His outfit had changed from white to black leather, like a full-ranking Aos Si.

  “Did you get a promotion?” I asked.

  “I look damn good, don’t I?” he answered. “Zephyr thought I should look the part if I am to be your private guard. I even have a shiny new iron-tipped sword.”

  “My, my, I bet Jayde is impressed.”

  Aeden moved to the side and extended his hand, pulling his partner to my front. “Perdi, I’d like to introduce you to my oathed mate, Jayde.”

  Jayde was built a little softer than Aeden but just as muscular. His hair was light, and his eyes were a deeper shade of blue. He held out his hand to shake mine with a smile that made me see why Aeden loved the very thought of him. “It is an honor to meet you, ma’am.”

  “Don’t call her that,” Aeden whispered.

  I smiled ear to ear. “I’ve heard so much about you, Jayde. I feel like I already know you. I hope you’ve received my gift, as a thank you for sending Aeden to help me.”

  “Indeed, the sun will feel nice from those hills. Aeden has already begun to till the land.” He winked. I’m sure he had heard a play-by-play of Aeden’s victory. “Thank you for the home. It’s as ridiculous as Aeden has always wanted. We already have several young ones who are on their way and have many others who will be volunteering their time with us.”

  “It’s not the Summer Court, but the Autumn Court is just as lovely.” I smiled.

  “The Summer Court, no matter how hard they try, will never be Unseelie. And nothing short of a massive fire could cleanse that land of the stench,” Jayde teased. “It is an honor to meet you, Perdita, Perdi?”

  “Perdi is fine.” I smiled. “And the honor is mine.”

  “It’s been a fun run.” Aeden looked out over the crowd. “I’ll miss this.”

  “I don’t think you will, not once you leave. Does Zephyr know yet?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Solas knows, but not Zephyr, not yet. I think he knows something is off. My mind is elsewhere. But he rarely pries and waits for us to come to him. I think, though, he’ll be happy for us.”

  “I’ll miss you.” I smiled. “But when I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be happy you’re gone.”

  “I’m going to go tell Zephyr I need to remove his bedframe, that it squeaks when he moves, and I feel it’ll disturb you at night.” Aeden grinned. “I’ll tell him he needs to put his mattress on the floor. I can’t wait to see his face.”

  “Good luck with that.” I laughed.

  “It’ll be my parting gift to him. When I leave, it’ll make him smile every time his bed makes a peep,” Aeden replied. “You know where I am if you need me.”

  “I’ll come and visit,” I answered. “Please stay. Enjoy the evening.”

  Jayde linked his arm through Aeden’s, and I felt blessed to know Aeden had made it home, and Jayde wasn’t faced with an empty home and heart. I glanced around the room and felt full. The Aos Si, who were always stiff as boards, were dressed casually, with partners and loved ones and shared laughs. Each time I met their eyes, those who came to the island, we shared a smile that said more than words could ever say. We’d all given there, to our very souls, and we all came home a little more broken than before. But we’d patch and repair the pieces together, as only a family could.

  With the night ending, I stood on the balcony off my bedroom and motioned to the shadows. “Thank you for all you did for me. But you don’t belong with me. I release you back to Zephyr. I bind you to his soul as he once did with me.”

  “We are happy to go back, Perdi. Trust you are loved, but you are erratic and uncomfortable. It feels like the eve of war, every minute, with you,” they answered. “But we will always come to your call.”

  I watched them climb over the rail and land on Zephyr, “Perdi! What the hell…? Oh, hello again. What has she done to you all? You’re a mess. God, you feel like her anxiety.”

  “You’re welcome, Zeph,” I called down to him.

  “Good night, little Crow,” Zephyr replied. “I’m off to take apart my damn bedframe because your sensitive ears cannot handle the sound of me moving. I’m going to strangle Aeden during training with the sheets he says I can’t sleep with because they lint too much and may bother your nose.”

  I laughed and watched him leave in a blast of shadows. “I have delicate ears!” I screamed after him.

  “Little Crow.” Solas’ voice pulled my attention to the door. He held two glasses of wine. “Are you done tormenting Zephyr?”

  I turned with a soft smile. “No. Probably not ever. With Aeden leaving, someone has to pick up the slack around here.”

  “I’ve heard many dark and terrible things about you picking up the slack during your week on the throne.” He set down the wine and walked to my front. He knelt and glanced up at me.

  “Such as?” I leaned against the railing.

  “You smoked out a Solene supporter, a traitor, a hunter of Crows—and with him, several others who stood against our court,” he said.

  I nodded. “They deserved their fate.”

  “You were kinder to them than I’d have been,” he replied. “I also heard you killed a king while deciding whether he would live without his head.” He took off my shoes. “What an uncomfortable thought.”

  “He was still blinking. It was an honest question,” I replied. His heavy look made me smile. “Yes, I did that.”

  He kissed my calf, and I shivered. “And killed the rest of the Autumn Court, who hide for months from the Commander of the Aos Si?”

  I blew out a chest of air. The heat in my body began to slowly rise as I looked Solas in the eyes. “Yes, that was me.”

  “Threatened to burn down the home of another because he wouldn’t allow you to cross his territory?” His fingers danced along my lower leg.

  “Technically…” I started, and Solas raised his eyebrows. “Yes, I did do that, as well.”

  “And the bribery you offered?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “You waged a full-on war against a king while trying to enter a territory with not just one army but the entire Aos Si and Sluagh, the Dark Court, accompanied by the Winter King and his Commander and held him at knifepoint?”

  “Yes.”

  “You bound souls to you?” He stood.

  “Yes…many.”

  “Then brought a king and an Aos Si Commander back from the dead?” He stood, lifted my wrist to his lips and placed a light kiss.

  “Yes.”

  “And, for the first time, since the history of ever, you promoted the lowest member of the Aos Si, not even a full rank, a trainee, as your personal Royal Guard?”

  “That, too.”

  “So, to test my understanding of your reign, little Crow,” he whispered into my mouth, “in under a week, you threatened to war against the mortal world if they stepped foot inside Elphame, and we lost treaties with the Seelie courts.”

  “Yes,” I whispered back.

  “And entered into a new treaty with your once-sworn enemy.” Solas continued with a grin. He helped me to the lounger and passed me a glass of wine. “You invaded a Seelie territory, launched every Unseelie Army into enemy lands, held a king at knifepoint and forced your way into his lands against his will, killed a king and his remaining people and ate their souls, sent another to a dungeon not of our own and likely to his death, and killed everyone else who stood in your way? All aided by Aos Si trainees, leaving the actual guard here?”

  “It was a Reign of Ruin,” I answered. “Queen for a week, and I damn near burned your territory to the ground.”

  “Rest assured, little Crow, we Unseelie like the heat.” He sat beside me and pulled me under his arm.

  “However short-lived it was, I never want to do it again. The stress was unbearable. I don’t know how you juggle that many problems at once. It doesn’t end, does it?”

  “This is why I never want to get out of bed in the morning.”

  I snuggled into his chest. “I can think of a few other reasons you don’t want to get out of bed.”

  He lifted me from his side and placed me on his lap, facing him. “As can I.”

  “You’re lazy, that’s why,” I teased. His laughter set everything right in the world. “Solas, our enemies, they may be many, but I’ll always come for you and those who get in my way…”

  “Will burn.”

  “Do you understand the life you will have because of me?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he answered. “Do you understand the hell you will have with me?”

  I smiled. “Yes.”

  “We’ve chosen to walk a path made of glass shards,” he answered.

  I nodded. “This is going to hurt.”

  “Everything in Elphame hurts, little Crow. But I’m willing to bleed. Are you?”

  “As your queen, no one will bleed harder than our enemies,” I replied. “I hope there are more perks than this last week or I’ll be giving notice, and you can shove that crown.”

  “I debated on telling you but ran out of time. I thought I’d wait and try your customs first. I had planned to court you, as you would say, and ask your father for permission. That is the way, no?”

  “I would suggest you ask me first. No one makes my choices but me,” I countered.

  “Perdi, would you oath yourself to me?”

  From below, under my balcony, Aeden called up to us. “Sir, the ring, and you should be on your knees. It is the custom of her people. I enclosed a brief overview on your desk, which you clearly didn’t read. Perdi refers to this as a ‘cheat sheet’.”

  “Thanks, Aeden,” I called out and blushed. “Go spend your evening with Jayde.”

  “Umm, I’m here, ma’…Perdi,” Jayde answered from below.

  “He’s like your bloody shadow. He’s worse than Zephyr.” Solas picked me up and carried me inside.

  I screamed as he tossed me to the bed. He rushed toward me in a blur and pulled me to the edge, kneeling in front of me. I braced myself for what would come next, but he pulled away. I reached for him as he drew a small velvet box from his pocket and opened it. Inside, my mother’s wedding set. My breath came out at once, and I couldn’t see through the tears.

  “My mother’s…” I whispered.

  “Your father gave them to me,” Solas answered.

  This was the gift my father had referred to, and I smiled. “You asked him?”

  “I’d already asked him before tonight, as that is my custom. He has agreed, but the choice is yours. Perdi, this world is terrifying and even worse when you’re alone. It’s so much harder on your own. But with you, the world doesn’t feel so big. I don’t feel so powerless. With you, I feel like anyone could come to our door, and I wouldn’t fear opening it. I know, whatever happens, you will protect our people, and only then will you burn the world to find me. I can’t do this without you. I can’t go a single day without knowing you’re mine.”

  “Yes.” I smiled.

  “Yes, you will oath yourself to me, or you’ll burn the world?” he asked.

  “Both.” I laughed and pulled him into my arms.

  “She said yes!” Aeden screamed from below my deck. The cheers from the grounds rose up, and the party I thought had ended, filled the night.

  “It’s my turn to hog your attention.” Solas pushed his darkness to the door and closed us in. “I love you, my wicked little queen.”

  “I love you, Soulless,” I teased, as I had since the day I first saw who he really was.

  “I’ll never tire of this,” he whispered into my mouth. “Are you ready, little Crow?”

  “Ready for what?” I asked.

  “This,” he replied. “You have my pearl. Get ready to feel it all.”

  His darkness swirled through me, not just around me. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t do much more than hold on to him. He curled around me, and with his energy pouring through the room, I felt like hell could knock on the door, and neither of us would so much as flinch. I felt every emotion as if they were my own, pleasure, happiness, rage, his need to protect and his need to be loved. I could smell every inch of the Dark Courts and taste every power as if I had known them my entire life. The energy started soft and graceful, then I could hear the Sluagh and their wings as they glided through the sky, free and wild. I could feel the wind on my face and smell their spice. It ended with the sound of waves crashing down against the cliffs during a storm. As I floated back down, having touched heaven, I smiled lazily.

  “What was that?” I asked.

  “Me,” he answered. “All of me, without holding back.”

  “Solas, don’t ever hold back.” I rolled to face him, curled in his arm.

  He lifted my lips to meet his. “If we weren’t tied together, bonded, it would have been a very different experience for you.”

  “How could that ever be bad?” I asked.

  “The same way you walking through my soul can feel either amazing or like death dragging me into the cold earth.”

  I nodded. “I could do that until I die.”

  He ran his hand over my skin lightly until I felt like I was floating in bliss. “Close your eyes, little Crow. Happy Birthday.”

  “I love you,” I whispered and felt my body grow heavier. “I can still feel you.”

  He kissed my shoulder. “And I can still feel you.”

  “You feel…happy.”

  “I am. And you feel tired,” Solas laughed.

  “I love you,” I replied.

  “And I love you,” he answered. He pulled me tighter against him. “Close your eyes and sleep.”

  His magick rolled me over, and I slinked to sleep in the arms of the man I’d tear my soul apart for. I’d do many horrible things for those I love, but there was no end to what I’d do for him. And in the moment before sleep gripped me, I knew he would eat the world for me in return. There was no safer place for a little Crow than in the arms of a man who loved as fiercely as he fought on the battlefield.

  Chapter Twelve

  Walking into the Winter Court made me grin like a child waiting for Christmas morning. At the caves, I dropped a package into the darkness, a gift of baked goods and a few quilts I had made for Oberon and his people for what they had done for me while I was healing. Fear is a good meal for a Bodach, but they had eaten so much many had gotten sick and needed their own healer. When he poked his head out to wave his thanks, Finn screamed like a little girl and jumped behind me. It made the feeling of dread thick enough to chew on, worth it to see an Aos Si shake in his boots. We all knew dread lived down there, but having it pop up with a smile and a wave was an entirely different experience.

  As the fear fell away like a snake shedding its skin, Tylwyth stood and was all I had remembered it to be. It smelled of every good memory I had as a child, my mother and father, sledding in the hills and hot chocolate on cold nights. There was a softness to its appearance, a kind of warmth you wouldn’t expect in a place found in the middle of Winter Court that made you want to stay awhile. The honesty that rested within its beauty made you feel welcome and like your worries didn’t matter as much within the city’s walls. The sparkling hints of blue and white and the faintest gray painted this world in Winter. Those who called Tylwyth home smiled once they saw me, then backed up several paces when Solas and Zephyr strolled in behind us. Although they tried to recover quick enough to appear friendly, their shyness and fear were noticeable. Part of me felt sad for Solas and Zephyr, because all they had ever wanted was to be loved, but they settled for being feared.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23