Earth's Embrace, page 4
“Look, you’ve been through a lot,” said Daniel, walking slowly towards her, approaching with a careful “It takes a toll on you. It would affect anyone who had been through everything you have. You just need time. I’ve been reading up about the long term impact of trauma. Maybe you should see somebody. Talk to somebody.”
Leila backed away, shaking her head at him. “What are you saying?”
“Maybe all the stress, all the pressure. Maybe it’s gotten to you. Hear me out. The brain is a powerful thing. Isn’t it possible that you’re…imagining it?”
The words were like a punch to her chest. So unexpected that she couldn’t breathe for the suddenness of them. In that moment, Leila felt incredibly alone. For the first time since joining her life with Daniel’s, he seemed like a stranger to her. The sense of betrayal had her reeling. She turned and walked away from her husband because she thought that if she stayed there one minute longer, she would resort to violence. In that moment she was desperately glad that she was not Fanua Afi anymore. Because she didn’t know if she would have been able to contain her fiery rage.
She muttered an excuse, uncaring if he heard or if he believed her. “I have to get out of here. I need some air.”
Daniel called after her, “Leila, wait. Please. Let’s talk about this.”
“Not now. Leave me alone.”
She stalked outside, slamming the kitchen door behind her. The sun was setting on the silken sea and the air had a coolness to it, a welcome change from the usual heat of the day. Ocean birds wheeled overhead, distracting her with their sharp cry. Leila followed them, crossing the road and walking down to the beach. She kicked off her jandals so she could feel the sand beneath her feet, raising her face to the salt breeze and breathing deeply to calm her anger.
The voice came to her, low and soothing.
You’re alone in this. He doesn’t understand. He never will.
Leila pushed back against the disloyalty. ‘Daniel loves me.’
He wants you weak and isolated. He always did prefer to be the stronger one in the relationship. He wants to be the protector and provider. How can he be the provider when you’re a millionaire heiress? And when you unleash your fire, then he can’t be the protector either. Daniel resents all that you have and that you can be.
Before she could counter that argument, Daniel spoke from behind her, soft and contrite in the twilight. She spun around to face him.
“I’m sorry Leila. I was wrong. What I said? I didn’t mean it and I’m sorry.” He shook his head, heavy with sadness. “I’ve tried to block it out, pretend it’s not real, tell myself it’s all in the past and we’re going to be fine. Because the truth is, I’m afraid. Of Pele and what she can do, how she can hurt you again. I’m afraid of losing you. So even though I know she’s in there, somewhere, I don’t like to admit it. And that’s not fair on you. I promised to always stand by your side and face our challenges together. I haven’t been living up to that.”
“I feel so alone in this. I need to know that you believe me. That you’re by my side,” said Leila as she looked out over the dark ocean. “There’s another person inside me, a being, a spirit, whatever you want to call it. It terrifies me what she could do if she gets control of me again. I’ve never told you about what that was like.”
Daniel reached out and slipped his hand into hers. Reassurance, strength and comfort. “I wanted to wait until you were ready. Till you felt like you could share it with me.”
“I tried to bury it, y’know. Forget it happened. But I have nightmares about it. It won’t go away. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need to see a therapist. They’ll probably think I’m crazy though if I tell them there’s a fire god inside me!”
“Or you could tell me. I’m listening. You can tell me anything.” Daniel found a comfortable seat on the nearby rocks, drew Leila to sit beside him.
“I was in a cave. Dark. There was a pool. Stagnant water surrounded by slimy moss covered rocks. I don’t like it. But I can’t move away because I’m chained.” Leila rubbed at her wrists which even now, seemed to chafe at the very memory. “It’s so dark. I can hear water dripping somewhere and there’s pin pricks of light in the ceiling so I can see shapes. Shadows. I’m scared. I don’t want to be here. I want to go home. I pull at the chain and it hurts. It rattles really loud and I wonder if there’s any creatures in the darkness with me that I can’t see? It’s silly I know, but I can’t stop wondering about it. What else is in here with me? Where am I?”
The fear and vulnerability on Leila’s face, in her voice – it pierced Daniel like a thousand kuikui. He reached to take her in his arms but she was stiff and rigid in his embrace, still lost in her memories. He whispered against her hair, “I’m here Leila. I got you.”
She pushed against his chest and now he could see the glistening tears on her cheeks. “No, that’s just it. You weren’t there. I called for you and you didn’t come. You didn’t answer.”
And the dying hope in her eyes tore at him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Leila grabbed his hands, held them tightly to her. “No, you don’t understand. I held fast to memories. Of you. Of us. Together. They kept me warm through that endless night.” Leila smiled through her tears as she caressed his face. “The first time I saw you. Red, gold and jade green. That crooked smile and lazy grin. Blindfolds and mountain springs. Then salt tears on a silver night by our forest pool. A boy who listened. A boy who carried me. Held me. Comforted me. A boy who made me laugh. So many memories.”
“That’s what I’m trying to say. I survived that torment because I held fast to you. I willed you to hear me, save me, find me. Some times all I had keeping me to my sanity, all that stopped me from giving in to Pele’s final assault – was the whisper of your name. Because I knew that no matter how hard she tried to convince me otherwise, I knew I wasn’t alone. That you were with me always.”
‘So now, I need you to still be with me in this. I need you to believe me. You can’t ignore it, or block it away and pretend that Pele isn’t a threat anymore. In your heart, you know that’s not true. And you can’t treat me like a child, shelter me from what we both know is lurking inside here.” She tapped at her chest. Then at the side of her head. “Or here, I’m not sure!”
“You’re right,” said Daniel. “I have been trying to ignore it. Hope it’ll go away. Which isn’t fair to you because you’re the one living with her. Or at least the threat of her, the memories of her forever at your back. It wasn’t honest of me and I apologise. You deserve better from me.”
“Apology accepted,” said Leila with a grin. “Now can we agree no more Telesā secrets between us? No matter what? Because the only way we’re going to fix this thing with Pele, is if you and I are completely honest with each other. And backing each other one hundred percent.”
“It’s not fair,” said Daniel with bitterness. “You’ve been through so much already. I want to protect you from being hurt again. And I can’t. Why is this happening to us? To you? I want to kill her. If I ever find a way to end Pele forever, I will.”
“Who ever said life was fair?” A half-smile through her tears. “I brought this on myself by jumping into that volcano after all!”
“No,” Daniel corrected her. “You risked your life to save us all. In fact, you gave your life to avert a nuclear explosion. Pele hitched along for the ride. It wasn’t your fault.”
For a moment the two held each other, the chilling memory of how close they’d both come to losing the other person, a sobering one.
Leila took a deep breath. “And that’s why, I want to go see the taulasea. Maybe this is like being cursed or possessed by an Aitu and she’ll know what to do to fix it? Maybe she won’t. But at least I’ll know that we tried. We have to try Daniel. Please? Will you come with me?”
“Of course,” said Daniel. “Always. No more jumping into volcanoes without me though. Or going alone to pay off psycho parents of our friends. Take me along with you. Deal?”
Leila had to laugh at the mock sternness in his voice. “Deal.”
Chapter Five
It was getting late when Keahi got the phone call from Mrs. Amani. Could he please come to the shelter? Teuila’s stepfather had tried to break in to the compound and police had been called. They had taken him away but now Teuila was missing. The worry in her voice sliced through Keahi. “She can’t have gone far. I’ll find her.”
Within minutes he was on his bike and roaring down the quiet street. But not to the shelter. He had an idea of where she may have run to.
Silver moonlight illuminated the overgrown path to the rotting treehouse in the bush. Keahi couldn’t see any sign of Teuila but he knew she was there. He could feel it. He rode his motorbike as far as he could through the grass and then killed the engine and parked it under a nearby tree, walking the rest of the way.
“Teuila?” he called softly through the shadows.
The answer was swift – a dire rustling of leaves and the loud crack of branches as the forest launched an attack. Keahi ducked just in time to avoid the half tree that hurtled towards him, a missile intent on destruction.
“Hey, it’s me!” he shouted, loud this time. “Just me.”
But she wasn’t appeased. The ground beneath his feet trembled and then began to sink and cave and sway. Keahi swore under his breath and ran, leaping over fast appearing sinkholes and the rolling rocks in his path. He wasn’t quite fast enough though and another flying branch caught him on the shoulder, knocking him to the ground. Winded, but there was no time to catch his breath. The onslaught was still coming. He rolled. Too late, a jagged rock clipped his arm, another one hit him on the cheek, and he had to grit his teeth against the pain, stumbling to his feet, trying to stand on the rollicking ground. Again he called out. “Teuila! Stop. Please!”
At last it seemed she heard him. The forest stilled and the ground stopped moving. The silence was eerie. A quavering voice. “Keahi? Is that you?”
“Yes. Are you trying to kill me?” Now that the danger was gone, Keahi had time to feel the hurt of his battered body. His face was bleeding a bit and he wiped the blood on his sleeve. A little blood never hurt anyone. A slight groan as he gingerly felt his arm and shoulder, checking for breaks. None thankfully. But he knew he would be black and blue with bruises by the next morning. He’d worry about that tomorrow. He dusted dirt and leaves off himself and carried on up the path. “I’m coming to you, okay? No more attacks please.” He added jokingly, “I come in peace!”
She saw him from the treehouse balcony and he must have looked worse than he thought because he heard her indrawn breath and cry out. “Oh no, Keahi!” She made her way down the steps and ran to him, stopping short when she saw his injuries up close. “I’m sorry.” She looked so sad and guilty that Keahi immediately forgave her.
“Hey, it’s alright. It’ll take a lot more than a few trees to hurt me. I’m invincible remember?” He reached out to ruffle at her hair and try to coax a smile out of her.
“I wanted to kill him. I could have killed him. But I didn’t,” she cried. “Why? What’s wrong with me?” She held her hands up to the starlight. “What’s the point of having this power if I can’t use it to kill the person who hurt me the most? I’m a coward. Useless waste of space.”
The raw pain in her eyes ripped at Keahi.
He reached out and put an arm around her in an awkward hug. “Hey, I’ve seen you use your gift to save people. You saved all of us. Probably the whole country’s still alive because of what you did. That’s not useless. You’re not a waste. That took a shit load of courage. You’re the bravest kid I know.” A crooked grin. “I’m still alive because of you. So I think you did humanity a favor!”
His attempt at a joke worked. She gave him a watery smile and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “If I’m so brave, then why couldn’t I stop him? He was waiting outside the dorm and grabbed me. I should have used the move you taught us in Muay Thai class. Or made the trees grab him like I did to you. It would have been so easy to break every bone in his body that way. But I froze. I did nothing. I was so scared…” A fresh burst of crying had her entire body wracked with sobs.
Keahi went still. There was a lethal intensity in his eyes that Teuila didn’t see as she cried in his arms. “He hurt you today?”
“No. The security guard got him off me before he could do anything. He wasn’t actually trying to do anything to me. Not this time anyway. He was babbling something about how I should go with him, that he could get more money this way. He didn’t make any sense?”
Keahi knew exactly what the man had been talking about. Toma had probably figured he could demand a lump sum of money from Leila if he made Teuila go home with him. Or a higher payment each month? But Leila had been adamant that any contact from her mother would result in the money being stopped. Toma was an impatient fool. Or perhaps he thought that the deal had been between Leila and Sieli, so it didn’t apply to him? Or he just didn’t care. And never would abide to any deal anyway. But he couldn’t tell Teuila any of this. It wasn’t his place to tell her about Leila’s attempt to keep Sieli out of her daughter’s life. That information had to come from Leila.
“You know something?” asked Teuila. “Tell me?”
“No I don’t. Who can ever understand how the mind of an abuser works though? Sounds like he was drunk,” said Keahi. “The important thing is that you’re alright?”
I’m fine. Just angry at myself. All those lessons, all my practicing, for what? Why can’t I fight back when it really matters? What’s the use of having this power when I can’t even protect myself against the person who wants to hurt me the most? I’m a coward. A useless coward.”
Keahi let her cry. He knew that sometimes, we needed to let it out. He waited until the chittering of the flying foxes and the crackle of the mo’o were the only sounds in the liquid night.
“You know I can’t start fire on my own, right?” asked Keahi. Purposely casual as he leaned back on the wall and looked out at the forest that breathed all around them. “No matter how hard I try.”
Teuila nodded. “Yeah.”
“Well do you know why?” Without waiting for her response, Keahi continued. “I had a twin sister. Things happened. Bad things. I was trying to protect her and instead I lost control of the fire. She died. And I’ve never been able to fire start since. Even when people need my help. No matter how bad I want it to. No matter how hard I try.”
He went quiet then and it was a silence heavy with pain. Teuila reached over to slip her hand in his, ignoring his instinctive flinch.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered. “You were just a kid. Did anybody teach you how to use your powers?”
A bitter laugh. “I didn’t even know I had any until that night. Way to be surprised, ay?! My one comfort is knowing that she didn’t suffer. The fire was so fast, so strong that she just went up in smoke and ashes within seconds. Everyone burnt up, everyone except me.” He looked down at his hands in a mixture of wonder and disgust. “It made no sense. I was burning but I couldn’t feel it. I was on fire but I lived. And she died. I killed her.”
“No,” insisted Teuila. “It was an accident. You mustn’t blame yourself.”
Keahi shook himself out of his dark memories. “Don’t worry about me kid. I’m fine. I didn’t bring it up so you could get all pity party on me. My point is, that bad stuff hits us all in different ways. Your mom’s boyfriend is bad news and right now, your response is to freeze. That’s okay. A legit reaction to bad shit. You are not a coward. This many years later and I still can’t even light a cigarette with this power. I need a kid to spark me off with a lightning strike. If we want to compare pathetic power bearers, then I’d say you’re doing fine. What you threw at me back there?” A wry grin as he gingerly touched at his bruises. “You’re a badass. You’ve got a shitload of power in you and give it time and you’ll be able to kick anyone’s ass with it. You are not a coward. You’re the bravest toughest kid I know.”
She smiled at him unwillingly. “Really? You’re not just saying that?”
“Nah, I’m saying it because I’m scared you’re gonna kick my ass with some trees again!”
The two laughed then and the night no longer held fear and terror but rather a lightness of being, a lightness of burdens shared.
“Keahi?”
“Yeah kid?”
“What was her name? Your sister?”
There was a silence and for a moment Teuila was worried she had overstepped. Gone too far. But then into the shadows, Keahi spoke her name softly. With love and regret.
“Mailani.”
“That’s pretty.”
“She was my best friend,” said Keahi.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m okay kid,” said Keahi. “Let’s get you back to the Center. Mrs. Amani will be worried sick about you. And next time you want to run away?”
“Yeah?”
“Call me first, okay? I’ll take you and we can avoid the earth attack to my person. I have enough scars to last a lifetime.”
Keahi kept up the light banter all the way back to the Center, doing extra burnouts on the bike to distract Teuila and have her shrieking with laughter and excitement. By the time she was back safe with Mrs. Amani, she was exhausted, but the kind of happy tired after spending time with a friend. The panic and fear of the attack earlier seemed to be forgotten.
But Keahi hadn’t forgotten and as said goodbye and gunned the motor, a cold intent replaced the lightness of only moments before. The happiness had been a façade, a distraction for the young teenager only. He knew what he had to do. If money wasn’t enough to stop Toma, then Keahi would do what needed to be done.
Mrs. Amani watched him drive away and she had a frown on her face. She was astute enough and familiar enough with Keahi to know that this night was far from over. And on her way to getting Teuila settled, she detoured to make a quiet phone call. Leila needed to know what was happening here tonight.
