A Mistaken Identity, page 13
“He seems to like you.” Frances sniffed again. “Much more than he likes me.”
“I don’t suppose he’s had much of a chance to know you as of yet.”
Frances closed her eyes. “I wish I could act normal when I’m near gentlemen, but I can’t seem to. My throat closes and I can hardly force out any words if I happen to think of them.”
“You’ve done well the last few days.”
Frances sent her a doubtful look.
“It’s true. Each evening, you’ve visited more and more with the guests, gentlemen included.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
“Perhaps it feels like only small steps of progress, but it’s still progress,” Harriet pointed out.
“So often it is an uphill battle.”
“Mr. Sinclair seems to think well of you. He’s downstairs, quite worried.” At least, Harriet assumed so from his expression.
“Truly?” Frances blinked. “I shouldn’t have left him the way I did.”
“May I ask how long you’ve cared for Joseph?”
Frances stared across the room. “Several months. Since before Phoebe suggested the bold move.”
Not so different than Harriet.
“Do you think he’s the one?” Harriet asked, uncertain if her friend would answer.
“I did at first. When he brought me that glass of lemonade, his kindness captured my heart. Now I’m not so certain.” She glanced at Harriet from beneath her lashes. “I find Thomas quite attractive as well.”
“He is rather handsome.”
“Yes.” A small smile played about her lips. “He’s gone out of his way to make me more comfortable. The day we were playing charades, he told me he thought I had the loveliest eyes. Can you believe that?”
“You do have lovely eyes.”
“But I also like Viscount Garland.” Her brow puckered, much like Harriet’s heart.
It seemed clear there was only one thing she could do though the thought of it hurt more deeply than her scars had.
“I realize the party is almost over, but I will keep my distance and allow you more time to decide how you feel for each of them.” The idea made her entire body ache, but it seemed the least she could do. Besides, how could anything come from what she felt for Joseph? It had been ridiculous of her to think it was possible.
“Are you certain?” Frances asked.
“It’s the least I could do. I’m sorry I didn’t do so sooner.”
“How could you have without being rude? It’s impossible to avoid any of the guests.”
“True.” Really, this was for the best. Besides, Frances might be able to help sway her father into assisting Joseph with his bank. “Again, I’m so sorry, Frances. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I can’t be angry with you when I didn’t explain from the start who I admired. I practically forced you to help with the messages. I am sorry as well.”
Yes, she thought as she returned Frances’ hug. Staying away from Joseph was for the best. Yet the thought didn’t make her feel any better.
“I suppose we should return to the ball before Mother wonders what happened to us.”
“Right.” But Harriet intended to slip away at the first opportunity. If she couldn’t be with Joseph, she didn’t want to remain at the ball. Her heart felt as if it were breaking.
“Allow me to wash my face, and we’ll go down together.”
“Perfect.”
Frances hugged Harriet again. “You are the best friend I could ask for.”
“As are you,” Harriet replied, grateful Frances wasn’t angry with her. “Thank you for understanding.”
“We made our bold moves together, didn’t we?” Frances suggested. “After all, you helped write the messages.”
“I suppose you could say that.” Harriet returned her smile. But unless she was prepared to share her secrets, she wouldn’t be able to make a bold move.
In truth, she couldn’t imagine telling anyone about what had happened. Not even the ladies of The Mayfair Literary League. It would be best if she resigned herself to spinsterhood. That was the only option. The time with Joseph had been a pleasant encounter. Nothing more. She hoped in the coming days she could convince herself of that.
Chapter Thirteen
Late the following morning, Joseph prepared to leave Melbourne House along with most of the other guests. But first, he wanted to speak with Harriet.
Though they’d shared a glance or two across the ballroom after she and Miss Melbourne returned, he had the impression she was avoiding him. Each time he moved in her direction, she managed to suddenly appear on the opposite side of the ballroom.
He’d approached Miss Melbourne and offered an apology, saying he hoped he hadn’t said or done anything to offend her. She insisted he hadn’t and accepted his invitation to dance. However, based on how stiffly she moved, she seemed quite uncomfortable. She’d opened her mouth several times as if about to say something but remained silent except for responding to his attempts at conversation with brief answers.
The rest of the evening crawled by, especially once he’d realized Harriet had left the ball.
Harriet hadn’t been at breakfast either, nor had Miss Melbourne.
“Did you look to see if there was another message?” Charles had asked when Joseph shared some of what had occurred.
“I suppose I should.” Yet if the messages had been from Miss Melbourne, why would she write any additional ones?
The unfilled box in the library left him with mixed emotions. It was as if the emptiness of the box symbolized the loss of what had been building between him and Harriet. He hoped that wasn’t true.
He dearly wanted to see how she was faring, especially given her upset the previous evening. Then again, he just wanted to see her.
One of the maids was passing by in the hallway when he emerged from the library.
“Pardon me, but have you seen Lady Harriet?”
“She’s left, my lord.”
His heart sank at the maid’s answer. How disappointing that Harriet hadn’t spoken with him beforehand. Surely, it was a bad omen that she’d departed without saying goodbye.
One thing was clear—there was nothing to keep him at Melbourne House any longer.
After a word with the butler, he entered the billiard room in search of Melbourne. Two other guests were bidding him goodbye, so Joseph waited his turn.
“Garland, we’ve enjoyed having you,” Melbourne said as he shook his hand, his smile warm.
“It’s truly been a pleasure, sir. You have a beautiful home and a wonderful family. Thank you for the hospitality.”
“You’re welcome. When would you like to meet to further discuss your proposal?”
Relief and a healthy dose of satisfaction filled him at the question. “Whenever you’re available. Will you return to London soon?”
“In a week or two. I’ll send a message to the other potential investors I mentioned to set a date when we can all meet.”
“I look forward to it.”
“Safe travels.”
Martin entered the room as Joseph was walking out and also shook his hand. “Thank you for coming.” Martin paused then leaned closer. “I understand you and my sister have become friendly.”
Joseph stilled, uncertain what to say. He’d thought the matter was resolved but perhaps that wasn’t the case. “She is a very nice lady.” What else could he say? He wasn’t about to pretend affection for her in order to convince Melbourne to invest, but neither did he want to proclaim that Miss Melbourne was sharing falsehoods.
Martin grinned. “That would certainly aid your efforts to interest my father in the bank. Perhaps we can arrange another gathering when we return to the city.”
“That would be enjoyable.” With a nod, he continued on his way, his thoughts churning, only to nearly run into Henderson. “Excuse me.” He didn’t bother to say goodbye.
“Garland. I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that I have a meeting with your father next week,” the reverend said with a smile that looked more like a smirk.
“To ask for yet another donation?” Joseph kept his voice low but couldn’t halt the question.
“Who am I to deny the contributions he wishes to make to my church?”
“Why don’t you share what you do with the money you receive? Perhaps then I could be convinced to change my opinion.”
“I don’t owe you an explanation. But have no worry; the donations will be put to good use.” Henderson gave a single nod and strode toward Melbourne.
Joseph reminded himself that he was a guest here until he stepped out the door. Once he returned to London, he would deal with Henderson.
“Pay him no mind,” Martin whispered as he joined Joseph again at the entrance of the billiard room.
“If only I could.” Joseph shook his head. “I would like my father to see him for who he truly is.” As he watched, Henderson shook hands with Melbourne though Joseph couldn’t hear their conversation.
“Perhaps that will come to pass,” Martin suggested.
Joseph wished that were true but knew from experience that was rarely the case.
Soon, Joseph and Charles were on the train to London. He half-hoped to see Harriet and couldn’t hold back his disappointment when he didn’t.
Would he have the chance to see her in London? Few events were held in the autumn, but one never knew.
Though tempted to call on her, he hesitated. Perhaps some distance would be wise. He shouldn’t allow his attraction to her to change his plans. Besides, he still didn’t believe in love, though he’d be the first to admit his attraction to her.
However, the time had not yet come to consider marriage, and Harriet deserved nothing less.
Never mind that he hadn’t been able to remember any of that when she was near. The coming days would help him focus on what was important. He had much work to do if he wanted to convince Melbourne and other investors to open a regional bank. His time would be better spent doing that than worrying about Harriet.
Yet as he stared out the window at the passing scenery, her face was all he saw.
“HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?” Phoebe asked as she sat in Harriet’s drawing room several days later.
“Well, and you?” Harriet waved a hand. “Never mind. I can see with one glance how happy you are.”
Phoebe laughed. “It’s true. I am.” She shook her head. “I never dreamed I’d feel this way. I still have to pinch myself to know for certain my life is real.”
Harriet grinned despite the longing that left her aching. “I’m so pleased for you.”
“Thank you. At times, it seemed as if Anthony and I would never be together. Now I can’t imagine life without him.”
“How marvelous.” It made Harriet want to weep for what she’d never have.
“The joy we’ve found only makes me more determined for all of the league members to make their bold moves. I know Frances is working on hers, but I hope you’ve given some thought to doing the same.”
“In truth, I’m having second thoughts.”
“That’s perfectly normal. I did as well.” Phoebe shifted to the edge of the chair, her gaze holding Harriet’s with intensity. “But the feeling passes, and you’ll find the courage you need again.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.” Harriet had given it much thought since her return home. It wasn’t just that Frances also liked Joseph—it was that Harriet’s secrets were impossible to overcome.
“Harriet, take heart. I have no doubt you will discover a way and enjoy the same happiness Tibby and I have found.”
She forced a smile, something she’d been doing often of late. “You are both a wonderful example of what’s possible.”
“We are.” Phoebe’s grin was almost contagious. But not quite.
“You knew your earl for some time, just as Tibby knew Captain Shaw since childhood. I’ve only known the man who caught my interest for a short time.” The excuse sounded hollow even to her own ears, but she hoped Phoebe would accept it.
“What difference does that make?”
Harriet sighed, realizing she had to talk to someone about it. “Well, for one, Frances cares for the same man that I do.”
The shock on her friend’s face followed quickly by dismay had Harriet nodding her head.
“Exactly,” Harriet said. “So you can see why any action on my part is impossible.”
“I must assume he was at the house party.” Harriet nodded. “Did you know she admired him before then?”
“No.” She rubbed a finger on her temple, feeling a headache brewing. In truth, she was tired of thinking about the situation when there wasn’t a solution.
Unfortunately, she had yet to find a way to remove Joseph from her thoughts. The truth was that she was thoroughly taken with him.
“To further complicate matters, Frances asked for my help to attract his notice.”
“Oh, Harriet. How terrible for you.”
“Terrible for us both. Of course, it all came out. I’m grateful Frances has forgiven me for not being honest with her.”
“Such a complicated situation. What happens now?” Phoebe asked.
“I’m keeping my distance so Frances can pursue her interest in him if she so chooses.” She bit her lip at the lie. She was stepping away from Joseph for good. If she happened to see him, she would treat him as an acquaintance. That was all she would allow herself. But she didn’t share that. It was one more secret to keep.
She was very good at keeping secrets.
“What a tangled state of affairs. But I have faith it will work itself out, and you should, too.” Phoebe watched her, the confidence in her expression causing Harriet to smile. She nearly believed her.
Yet what would Phoebe think if she told her about her past?
“I am blessed to call you a friend, Phoebe. You and all the ladies in the league are a treasure.”
“I couldn’t agree more. While I understand your wish to allow Frances time to sort through everything, don’t give up hope for yourself.”
“We shall see.” She didn’t want to lie to Phoebe by agreeing when she had no intention of seeing Joseph again, let alone giving in to her feelings for him.
Phoebe scowled. “I want what’s best for you both. These things often have a way of resolving themselves when we least expect it.”
“I shall keep that in mind.” But as far as Harriet could see, it was over and done. From this point forward, it was only a matter of convincing her heart of that.
“Now then, I want to discuss a few items regarding the league,” Phoebe said.
“Of course.”
“We have had several ladies request membership. Five more. A few I know but others I don’t.”
“So many?” The thought was alarming when it had only been the six of them for nearly two years. Doubling their size would present a few challenges.
“I fear news of our group continues to spread.” Regret flashed across Phoebe’s face. “I suppose it is to be expected since Lady Lucinda and Lady Jane seem determined to tell others about us. But still, it makes deciding who genuinely wants to join us more difficult.”
“You mean since we don’t know if they want to become members for the books or the For Better or Worse agenda,” Harriet suggested.
“Exactly.” Phoebe shook her head. “I find it interesting that anyone could believe we have a secret way of finding husbands. As if we do something they couldn’t do on their own.”
Harriet raised a brow. “I have to say I wouldn’t have even considered taking action if not for you suggesting the agenda, along with the support of the other league members.”
“I never meant for it to become our primary purpose.”
“Of course not.” Harriet agreed completely. “What do you propose we do?”
“I think we should meet with them individually to discover what their true intentions are before we invite them to a meeting. Those who seem to be a good fit can attend the next league meeting and decide if they’d like to join.”
“Excellent idea. I’m happy to assist with that.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it. Perhaps we’ll divide up the list of potential candidates and ask the other league members to aid us as well.”
“I’m certain everyone would be happy to help. Have you decided on next month’s book?”
They discussed the three that Phoebe was considering, all of which sounded wonderful to Harriet. One she had already read, but she’d realized in the first few months of belonging to the league that reading a book with others and discussing it brought details to light she’d never considered.
Hearing other views made her think in new ways. She didn’t always agree with them, but the discussions forced her to reconsider her own opinion. The meetings were always interesting. That was all the more reason they needed to be careful about who they invited to the league.
After Phoebe took her leave, Harriet remained in the drawing room, staring out the window, her thoughts on Joseph once again. She’d already told herself to stop thinking of him more times than she could count.
Unfortunately, without success.
Time would ease the pain. The thought of the coming weeks without him was daunting when she’d grown accustomed to seeing him every day.
But what choice did she have?
She didn’t want to lose Frances’ friendship, nor could she erase her past. Reaching for the stars would be easier than reaching for Joseph. It simply wasn’t meant to be. She pressed a hand to her aching heart and closed her eyes.
If only...
Chapter Fourteen
“Joseph. This is a surprise.” His father studied him from where he sat behind his desk. The earl didn’t bother to rise to shake his hand, but Joseph had learned long ago never to expect it.
Displays of affection were a sign of weakness as far as his father was concerned. For a time, Joseph had worried whether he was capable of showing affection but eventually realized the problem was his father’s, not his.
