Full Figured 14, page 13
“No, I don’t think now is the right time for the two of you to talk. Emotions are running high, and some things have already been said in anger. You both need some time to process all of this.” Mama gave a deep sigh. I could see the worry on her face, which made me feel even worse. It was her birthday, and we were supposed to be celebrating at the spa. Instead, she was now in the middle of an unfathomable situation between my sister and me. We hugged once more, and she promised we would talk later.
When she was gone, I went into my bedroom. My eyes fell on the side of the bed where Taurus had been lying earlier. I picked up the pillow he’d slept on and inhaled the scent of his cologne.
Seconds after my mother had called for him to come out of the bedroom, I had begun to panic. Not only because I had known Brittany would be upset, but also because I hadn’t known if he’d emerge shirtless and displaying signs of all we’d done in my bedroom the night before. Luckily, he’d walked out fully dressed, sneakers and all. And even though I knew it really didn’t matter now, the fact that he’d had the presence of mind to think quickly and put on his clothes while I begged my mother and sister to leave was somehow the silver lining to the fucked-up cloud that I’d created. He’d apologized to my mother and walked out of my apartment soon after Brittany had stormed off, barely looking at me as he exited. I knew the chances of his coming back anytime soon were probably nonexistent, but I nevertheless considered calling or texting him. My ego wouldn’t allow me to. Instead, I climbed in bed, still clutching the pillow, and cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up hours later, the first thing I did was reach for my phone, hoping that Taurus had reached out. He hadn’t, but Emory had. I didn’t waste any time calling her back.
“Are you back?” I whined.
“Yeah. What the hell is wrong with you?” she asked.
“Can you come over now? I need you,” I told her.
“Sure. Wait, I thought you and your sister were having a spa day for your mom’s birthday today.”
“I’ll explain when you get here. Oh, and, Em . . .”
“Yeah?”
“Bring tequila.”
“Oh shit. I’m on my way,” she said.
Thirty minutes later, I was sitting on the sofa and sobbing all over again while taking shots and telling her what had happened. She sat next to me and listened, her face mirroring a myriad of emotions as I talked. When I finally got to the end, her mouth gaped open.
“Say something,” I pleaded with her.
“Lord, Brooke.” She said the exact words that my mother had uttered earlier and then drank the shot she’d been holding since the moment I started talking.
“Say something other than that.” I poured both of us another drink.
“I don’t even know where to begin.” She sighed. “I mean, first of all, you know your ass is dead wrong for a lot of things.”
“I know. I was going to tell them, I was,” I repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time.
“I ain’t even talking about that right now. I’m talking about the fact that you hid this shit from me. For the past month I’ve been wondering what the hell was going on with you, and I was starting to think that I’d done something wrong. And now you’re sitting here telling me this? Now, after the shit done hit the fan?” She shook her head. “All the shit we’ve been through over the years, and you didn’t think you could tell me what was going on?”
It hadn’t dawned on me that my actions since I had started hanging out with Taurus were having an adverse effect on my friendship with Emory. I had been so focused on strategically withholding the truth, in an effort to continue enjoying the time I spent with him. Every time I had thought about telling Emory, I had stopped myself, because I had known she would tell me that what I was doing was wrong, and I hadn’t wanted to hear it. So I had blown her off the same way I’d been blowing everyone else off.
“I fucked up, and I owe you an apology. I knew you would call me on my bullshit, the same way you did when I first told you about Taurus, and I didn’t want to deal with it. So, instead, I just avoided you.” I knew there was no point in making any kind of excuses. Emory deserved better than that.
“I get it. I can’t believe your mom and sis popped up, though. Like, I wish I coulda seen your face when you opened that damn door, Brooke.” She snickered. “I know you were like, ‘What the hell?’”
For the first time that day, I laughed. “Em, you know me. But I was too damn shook to even be mad. I tried my damnedest to get them to leave, but nothing worked. It was as if Mama could sense that someone was up in here, and she was not budging until she saw who it was. This is all your fault, though.”
“My fault? How?” she asked.
“If your ass had been here to pick me up from the airport, I wouldn’t have had to have Taurus take me home,” I said matter-of-factly.
“Heffa, based on what you’ve been sitting here telling me about you and him, you would’ve still hopped in the car with his ass,” she replied. “Man, this is crazy. So, wait, if Taurus picked you up from the airport, who were you out of town with? Someone else? And what was the great news you had to tell me?”
“Great news?” I frowned.
“When you called me about needing a ride, you said you had some great news to tell me.”
With everything that had happened, I’d forgotten all about my being promoted. I hadn’t even had the chance to tell my mother and sister.
“Oh shit, I forgot. Well, I was in Fort Lauderdale with Brandon,” I said.
“Brandon? What? This is too much, Brooke.” Emory gulped down another shot.
“It wasn’t like that. We were at the IT Systems Conference. The one all the managers have to attend.” I smiled.
“Wait, so that means . . .” A smile spread across her face.
“Hell yeah!” I nodded, and then we both began screaming and hugging one another.
“Oh my God, Brooke. That’s so good. I’m so happy for you,” she said.
“Yeah, I found out yesterday, while we were there. Brandon . . .” My voice faded, and the sadness that had momentarily vanished came back over me.
“Brandon what? What’s wrong?” Emory frowned.
“When he came to my room to tell me about me being promoted, Taurus was on the phone. And today, when Brittany was going off, she pretty much announced that Brandon was one of the guys I’d slept with.” I didn’t bother wiping the tears that fell from my eyes.
“Oh, Brooke,” Emory said. “I’m sure he doesn’t think it was anything other than a business trip, which it was. And you can explain it to him when y’all talk this out.”
“Man, I don’t even know if that’s gonna happen. He was just as hurt and confused when he left here as Brittany was. And I just let him walk out. I didn’t try to stop him or go after him or anything. I just sat here crying while my Mama patted me on the back,” I told her.
“Maybe you should try calling him,” she suggested.
I shook my head. “I doubt that he’d even answer.”
“You never know until you try. Here.” She handed me another shot. “Liquid courage.”
I gulped it down, as I’d done with all the other ones I’d taken since she arrived. At this point, the liquor didn’t even burn as it went down my throat. I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and instructed Siri to call Taurus. The phone rang once, and when his voicemail picked up, I hung up.
“I told you.” I slumped back on the sofa.
“Text him,” she told me.
I picked the phone back up and sent him a quick text asking if he was okay. “Done. But what if he doesn’t respond? What if he never wants to talk to me again?”
Emory looked me in the eye and said, “Let me ask you something. Are you really feeling him like that? I mean, clearly, you are, because you let his ass spend the night. But do you really like him?” She paused for a moment. “And I need you to think about it before you answer, because you have to consider whether or not these past few weeks have been worth jeopardizing your relationship with your sister. That’s essentially what you’ve done, real talk.”
I thought about the questions and how I really felt about Taurus. Then said, “I do.”
“And deep down, do you believe he’s feeling you?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Then he will talk to you again,” she said. “It may take a while, but he will. You are going to have to give him the same thing your mom told you to give Brittany. Some space and time.”
For the next few days, I waited on a call or text from Taurus but didn’t get either one. I missed him terribly and wanted to talk everything out: from me not telling him I had a twin sister, whom he’d met first, to explaining my sister’s verbal dissertation about my sexual partners, including Brandon. I kept repeating the same two words that Emory and my mother had said to me: time and space. After a week, I couldn’t take it any longer, and I reached out to him again. This time when I called, the phone didn’t even ring. The call went directly to voicemail. Later that evening, I tried again, and the same thing happened. I took another chance the next night, right before going to bed, and got the same results. I realized that the tables had turned, and now I was the one who’d been blocked.
Chapter Sixteen
Brittany
“Well, that’s everything,” I said, taking a final look around my now-empty house. I’d expected it to be on the market for a few months, but it had sold in a matter of weeks. The buyers were a really nice couple who had just celebrated their first-year wedding anniversary and were expecting their first child. When they’d come to do a tour, they had reminded me of what I’d hoped for in my own life not so long ago: love, marriage, and a family. Now the only thing I wanted was a new job.
“I’m sure gonna miss this place,” Duane told me.
When I accepted the offer from the couple, I’d finally called him and asked him to come and get his things, unless he wanted them donated to the Goodwill. He had agreed and had come over the next night. As we went through our things, we began doing something we hadn’t done in a long time: we talked. The conversation was both heated and heartfelt, and I realized why we’d grown apart over the past year. We were no longer the same two people we’d been when we met five years ago. Our relationship needs had changed, but we’d become so comfortable with each other that we didn’t recognize that we both were unhappy until it was too late. I didn’t express my desire to go out and be more social, and he didn’t tell me he was just as bored as I was in our relationship, but even more so with our sex life. There were a couple of times when he’d suggest we try something totally out of my comfort zone, and I’d balked and refused, but I hadn’t thought it was that serious. It was clear that our final breakup was sad but necessary, because although we loved one another, we weren’t in love and never had been. Once the air was cleared, we both felt better, and he happily helped me pack the entire house up and move my furnishings into storage.
“So, are you still moving out of the area?” he asked as we walked out the front door for the last time.
“Yeah, I am. Kyra says I can stay with her as long as I need to, so I’ll be with her for the next month, until school lets out. Then who knows?” I told him.
“You still wanna move near Brooke?” he asked.
Ironically, while we were packing up, I’d shared with him what my sister had done. His reaction had been mixed, which was understandable, considering our beef was about a man that I’d planned to have a one-night stand with. He’d agreed that she was wrong for not telling me, but he’d felt that we needed to talk. I hadn’t spoken with her since the day I walked out of her apartment, and I had no desire to do so anytime soon. I was still hurt by her actions and felt like she’d betrayed me.
“I honestly don’t know where I wanna go. I suppose time will tell, though.”
“Well, you know I’m gonna miss you no matter where you go, right?” He smiled. “You and I will always be cool.”
“Yes, we will,” I said and hugged him. He walked me to my car, which was packed with a few more items that I needed to drop off for charity. “Thanks again, Duane.”
“No thanks needed. Oh, and tell your mom, don’t be a stranger. She can still check on me every now and then, so she can fuss.” He laughed.
I waved at him as I backed out, and then I took off down the street and drove to the same restaurant that I’d seen Duane at with the woman. I walked inside and looked around until I spotted my mother sitting at a table.
“You get everything finished?” she asked as she stood and hugged me. It had been only a month since her birthday, the last time we’d seen one another. I had cried the entire time we drove back to her house, then had cried some more.
“Yes, Ma. The house is officially sold and empty. Thank God. Duane and I just left,” I told her.
“That was so nice of him to help you pack up,” she said. “I don’t know why—”
“Uh-uh. No, Ma. Don’t start,” I warned her. “We’re not getting back together. Period.”
“Well, I was just going to say I don’t know why you didn’t invite him to eat with us, that’s all.” She sighed. “So, have you heard anything about any of the jobs you applied for?”
“Nope. Not yet. But I’ve applied only to a few.”
“Any of them happen to be near me? You know I got plenty of room in this house, Brittany, and I can help you get a job.”
“I’m not moving back home, Ma,” I told her for the umpteenth time. I loved my mother and appreciated her offer. And although I wasn’t sure in which direction life was going to take me at this moment, I was certain it would not be back to her house.
“Well, if you change your mind, you know you’re always welcome,” she told me.
We ordered our food, and while we waited, she made small talk about any and everything, from the weather to what she’d found on sale at Target the previous week. I knew she was avoiding the elephant in the room, and it was obvious.
“Mom, why are you here?” I sighed.
“To celebrate the sale of your house.” She said it as if I’d just asked her the dumbest question she’d ever heard, then added, “Oh, and you’re treating, since you got that fat equity check.”
“I’m serious,” I said.
Her eyes softened, and I could tell she was searching for the right words before she spoke, instead of blurting out what was on her mind, like she normally did. I prepared myself for whatever it was she was about to say.
“Because I’m worried, and I wanted to check on you,” she told me.
“Ma, we talk every single day. What are you worried about?”
“We have conversations every day, Brittany. But we haven’t really talked in a while, and you know what I’m referring to,” she said. “You can’t keep avoiding this.”
I became uncomfortably hot and took a sip of my ice water. “There’s nothing we need to talk about, Ma.”
“We do. Now, I know you’ve had a lot going on with packing up your house and the end of the school year coming up, so I’ve kinda left it alone. But it’s time to deal with it.”
“Deal with what, Ma?”
“Deal with this situation between you and your sister. Now, you want me to be more specific? I can.” She sat back in her chair.
“No,” I said. “And there’s nothing for us to deal with. She did what she did, and that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. And to be honest, it’s what she always does.”
“What do you mean?”
“She always has to have whatever she wants, no matter what. It doesn’t matter what it is. If she wants it, she goes after it and takes it. She’s reckless, and she doesn’t care who she hurts, including me,” I told her.
“Are you jealous of her?” Mama peered at me.
“No. I’m not,” I snapped and raised my arms, almost bumping the waitress, who was bringing our food. She put the plates down and hurried off without even asking if we needed anything. I waited until Mama blessed the food before I asked, “Why would you even ask me that?”
“Because you’re so angry,” Mama said, picking up her fork.
“I’m angry because of what she did,” I reminded her. “Not only did she sleep with a guy she knew I liked, but she damn near started a relationship with him too. She betrayed me. Don’t you think I have a right to be angry?”
“I believe you have a right to be disappointed in her and maybe even disgusted. But, Brittany, let me ask you a question,” she said between bites of food.
“Mama, you can’t be serious. Please don’t sit here and try to defend Brooke’s actions and act like what she did wasn’t wrong. You can’t expect me to sit here and listen to you do that,” I said, now feeling as if my mother had somehow chosen sides, and the one she had picked wasn’t mine. She had always been closer to me than to my sister, and I expected her to be a lot more understanding than she was being right now.
“I’m not defending anything. You know I love you, and because of that, I’m just trying to help you process all of this, that’s all.”
“Fine. What’s the question?” I shrugged.
“Why did you like him?”
I was confused. I’d expected her question to be long and difficult and yet easy to answer. Instead, these five simple words had me nearly stumped. “Huh?”
“You said she knew how much you really liked him. So why?” She shrugged. “What was it about him that led you to become so emphatic about how you felt?”
She had now rephrased her simple question, and I paused before answering. “Because the night we met, it was like magic. The way he looked at me and spoke to me. The way he danced up on me. And it was like he couldn’t get enough of me. It was chemistry between us. And real talk, Ma. You saw him when he walked out of that bedroom. T is fine.”
“Taurus,” she said.
“Huh?” I blinked.
“Taurus,” she repeated.
“What about a Taurus? What does that mean?” I asked.
“Taurus. That’s his name. You keep calling him T.”
“His name is Taurus? Well, he told me his name was T.”
