Deviant Control, page 13
part #3 of The Controllers Series
Today, Ryker dragged me onto his lap on the sofa, and without warning, bit down onto my throat.
I squealed as the blood rushed out. About a second later, I was desperate to feel him inside me. Grasping my clutching, impatient fingers, he pinned them behind my back and drained me until the pounding had eased to a dull ache.
All this took no more than a few minutes.
I was shocked. Usually, Ryker made me wait before he took the blood. Would make me beg for it, and him, and it confused me that we had deviated from this routine.
No part of my body or mind was happy about this deviation. For better or worse, he was conditioning me to accept his touch. It wasn’t hard to take such a leap. I was only human, and mind-blowing sex with an insanely hot man was a resilience test I didn’t mind failing.
Now that I thought about it, though, he had stopped last night’s escapades far earlier than was usual. I thought maybe he was tired, and I did appreciate the rest. But this morning he hadn’t touched me either.
I started to worry, and more so when he set me onto my feet.
Retrieving his information tablet, he sat at the table. “Go and fetch a tube of lube please,” he said. “It’s in the bedside drawer.”
His attention was on his tablet, and for a second, I thought I had misheard.
“If I need to repeat myself, there will be a punishment,” he said softly, tapping and pinching through some data. My breath caught in my throat. I cycled through a few iterations of fear as I wondered if he was going to finally spank me, or simply add it to my list of transgressions he would report to Ethan.
I did as requested. It was the slowest I had ever retrieved an item from a drawer. When I returned, Ryker tapped the table next to the information tablet.
Seething, I put it down. He didn’t need to order me about like a damned trained monkey!
And there I was left to fidget. As he continued with his data, I soon came to the conclusion that there was only one place he needed to use it. My temper rose, knowing he was doing this on purpose, making me wait and worry. Given how slick I was between my legs I doubted he needed any, even for that!
He pushed his chair back a little and patted his lap. “Over you go. I need to read these reports for my next deployment, but I’m good at multi-tasking.”
I frowned. “Deployment?”
He turned to face me, those beautiful hazel eyes surrounded by obscenely long lashes settling their focus on me. “Yes, once we arrive at Chimera, I’ll be redeployed. Ethan will be there to take over as your Controller.”
My chest rose sharply. I was at once relieved to hear Ethan had finished the operation and terrified of what would happen next. I could still only remember sketchy details of the man, but all of them filled me with dread. While I understood Ryker harbored some traits one might describe as psychological disorders, I thought he was a teddy compared to Ethan.
“Did he...Are the prisoners safe again?”
He nodded. “Yes, they are. He can tell you all about it tomorrow.” He gave a meaningful glance at his lap.
I continued to fidget, feeling my emotions crawl all over the place at the news of Ethan’s return.
“Did you want a punishment?” He raised an eyebrow.
“No!” Taking a deep breath, I shuffled closer to his lap.
He held up a hand. “I think you know you need to take your clothes off first. It’s going to be difficult for me to play with your ass while you’re still dressed.”
My eyes shot from the lube to his lap, before lifting to his face. Not a jot of emotion showed. Sometimes he could be so approachable, and when he smiled, he was breathtakingly handsome, but he could also be stone cold. When he was cold like this, I thought he might be capable of anything.
Yes, he might even be worse than Ethan.
And I failed to see why I needed to be undressed since I wasn’t wearing any underwear!
I reached for the hem of my little dress—the scrap of material that he insisted I wear. It made me feel uncomfortable when we were alone in the room, it was a million times worse in public, which was precisely why he chose it. That veil had lowered over his eyes the first time he presented it to me like he knew how I was going to react and wasn’t disappointed. And I absolutely hated the way Erison’s eyes crawled all over me in it.
Everyone’s eyes crawled over me. No one lingered for long before Ryker growled in a way that said he would tear them apart. Erison did not provoke quite the same level of animosity, although his attention certainly wasn’t welcomed.
I determined from these interactions that it was my discomfort rather than people actually looking at me in the dress that Ryker desired. That Erison looking brought such acute discomfort was the reason he allowed the doctor some leeway.
Wearing it made me feel less than human. I had once been a doctor, a respected doctor. Some days I felt more like a pet.
He smiled as I dropped the silky scrap to the floor, and his gaze rested on my hard nipples. My stupid body liked what he was doing just fine. Leaning forward, he clamped an arm around my waist and took one stiff peak into his mouth. He sucked gently, then more firmly, and finally lifted his head to study my face while he pinched and worked it between his finger and thumb. I tried not to react, and I didn’t know why I did this, but it was like holding onto my last piece of defiance with the tips of my fingers. He repeated the other side, and then patted his lap.
Thoroughly aroused and angry with myself about it, I leaned over his lap, resting over his muscular thighs and feeling humiliated to the core.
One big hand settled over my naked bottom rubbing and petting me. I heard the other hand tapping on the tablet. My hair draped in a silvery curtain that hid my flaming face. Maybe Ryker wasn’t going to use the lube. Maybe he had done this to further mess with my tremulous mental state. He did that sometimes, made me fetch an item and place it on the table or the bed and leave it there—a threat that he might or might not use it. Half the items were a mystery to me, at least at first.
When I heard the top of the tube click open, I stopped breathing, then sucked a deep breath in as the cold gel was spread over my little puckered hole.
A single well-lubricated finger sunk in. It withdrew, more gel was applied, and he forced it back in deeper. I heard the clatter as he placed the tube next to the tablet and tried to ignore what was happening to my body.
I was deluding myself if I thought I could ignore this. The finger slowly pumped in and out. An erratic rhythm that sometimes penetrated deeply, sometimes barely breached the entrance, sometimes a few rapid thrusts, but mostly slow penetrations that he might completely stop at any point from nearly out to completely in.
And I didn’t hate it, not at all. Yes, it burned a little, felt uncomfortable, made me embarrassed, but it was also darkly erotic.
He continued this torment for what felt like hours but was probably much less than one. But enough for me to start to feel the pressure against my tummy. I tried not to fidget since fidgeting made him growl—and that made my muscles clench around his finger, but it had been a long time.
He pinched my nipple hard enough to make me yelp.
“Do you need some nipple clamps to help you to settle?”
The noise that came out of my lips was a garbled mess of indignation and arousal. This was a trick question I was sure there was no safe answer, and further that no answer would be equally bad.
He pinched my nipple hard again. “I will need to talk to Ethan about this defiance you are still showing.”
I froze. It had reached the stage where the mere mention of Ethan’s wrath was enough to bring near incapacitating fear and arousal in equal measure. He rubbed a soothing hand over my upper back and continued pumping his finger in and out. “I might be persuaded to keep this between the two of us.” My heart rate increased. There was always an opt-out with the threats. Something I didn’t want and yet would agree to because the alternative did not bear thinking about.
“Maybe if you could be still while I worked two fingers in this tight little hole, it would show you are trying to behave.”
Long moments passed by, while I was allowed to ponder these two terrible fates.
He sighed. “I’ll talk to Ethan then. It’s probably for the best.”
“No, please don’t,” I whispered.
“Good girl.” He petted my hair, and I felt a twisted kind of glow that I had pleased him. I shouldn’t want to please him…yet pleasing him often led to him pleasing me, and I had never experienced such pleasure as I had experienced at his hands. I didn’t want to like what he did, but he was hard to resist. Sometimes he only had to look at me a certain way, and my whole body was primed, ready to go.
When I heard the tube being popped open, I wondered again about the choice, but it was too late to change my mind. This was what he wanted, and I was coming to realize that he got what he wanted by fair means or foul. The Ethan threat was a card he played when he wanted to force my compliance.
I should call him on it and be damned, but that wasn’t today.
The single finger slipped out, followed by a further application of the cool, slippery gel.
“Relax for me, Lilly,” he said, and giving me no opportunity to do precisely that, he thrust two thick fingers deep inside.
He must have realized I was going to buck because his other hand was suddenly holding the back of my neck firmly. Between that tight clamp and the fingers penetrating, I couldn’t move.
“I need to get them all the way in,” he said, thrusting in and out and scissoring his fingers while I fretted and begged him to take them out. I had thought it burned before, but this was beyond uncomfortable and sliding into pain.
“It’s hurting,” I said, because it was, and I was a doctor, and knew such acts did come with their risks. And while two fingers were unlikely to do real damage, I knew what this was building up to. Self-preservation told me to fight every step along the way.
“If you wriggle it will make it worse.” With a relentless determination that I was rapidly becoming familiar with, he sawed those thick fingers in and out. “Ethan is definitely going to want to have your ass.” He chuckled when all my inner muscles gripped. “I think my little doctor likes the sound of that.”
I didn’t, but the mere mention of that war god’s name was enough to send my mind cartwheeling.
His grip on my neck loosened, and he reached to pinch and twist my nipple. When he coordinated this with the deeper thrusts into my savaged bottom, everything came apart. My breath caught, my heart thundered, and the tingling indicated the pain was kicking off my body’s response. Pleasure and pain did things to me when combined. I wanted him to bite me, and he knew this. Erison had experimented with this enough. It was only a matter of time before I started begging him to bite me, and the last of my pride would be gone.
I questioned why I fought this since fighting got me nowhere.
The fingers plucking at my nipples slid up to cup under my chin where his thumb brushed across my lips. “Open up for me.” My lips parted, and he pushed the thumb inside my mouth, deeply. The act was unexpectedly erotic like I was being taken from both ends, and when he ordered me to, “Suck” my overstimulated body tipped easily over the edge. Inner ass muscles contracted over his fingers in waves of dark pleasure that triggered a full body flush.
He pulled the fingers from me as I was still on that ragged high, and in a dizzying motion had me flat on that tiny table. The information tablet clattered to the floor as he ripped at the fastenings of his pants. I looked up at his beautiful face, breathing heavy and groaned in pure bliss as his cock penetrated my wet pussy.
A shiver ran through me. I was half delirious and close to coming again.
Taking a bruising hold of my hips, he fucked me hard, his body slapping against mine in brutal thrusts that set my pussy quivering. The mewling sounds I made were nonsense. I felt like a rag-doll being shaken about.
And I loved every moment of it. Never knew anything could feel this intensely perfect.
“Fucking take what I give you.” His face was a mask, brutal, and twisted in its savagery, teeth bared.
I wanted those teeth. My battered pussy made wet sounds with each fierce slap of flesh meeting flesh, and pleasure-pain always sent my blood rushing to a flush.
I turned my head to the side, exposing the left side, the side that belonged to him. I hadn’t forgotten, not once, that the other side belonged to Ethan. So much of that time was lost to me, but the side he had claimed was not.
“Beg me,” he demanded, knowing exactly what I needed—increasing the brutality of each thrust. His fingers bit so deeply to keep me in place as he fucked me that I knew I would be bruised.
“Please,” I said.
“Beg!”
“Please bite me. Please. I need you to. Please!”
Thrusting deeply, he impaled me so completely that I felt cartilage grind in protest, and there he held still, leaning forward and fisting my hair before he finally bit down.
I came hard with the first pull. It was still shocking. It didn’t matter how often Ryker had done this, that first deep draw felt like he was draining me. Sexual pain never produced much of a flush, but it took several deep pulls to ease the pressure. I could feel his cock pulsing inside me, and warmth flooded my pussy as he came.
He sucked harder against my throat, dragging the last blood from me when my body sought to close him out. I screamed and thrashed under him as the pain took me over and sparked a second flush.
And there I floated. The steady thud of my blood pounding within a deafening silence. His cock continued to pulse inside me as we stared at one another. There was blood on his lips, my blood. The moment was sublime; nothing existed beyond the two of us. I was utterly controlled, and I wanted to stay lost in the euphoria.
His mouth lowered to mine, gentle, coaxing, but I was lax, and I felt his smile against my lips.
“Babe, you are something else,” he whispered, smoothing damp hair from my forehead. He lifted me from the table, still buried inside me, and carried me to the bed like this. Then he lay back, taking me with him and positioned my limp body over his to his liking. Fingers petted, stroking over my hair, my hot cheeks, my shoulders and back.
We would arrive at Chimera tomorrow, and he was leaving me. Giving me up—abandoning me to Ethan and his belt. Tears welled up from a broken place deep inside, and I sobbed like the world would end. I tried to get closer, to rub his scent on me, to make it part of me. “Hush,” he said softly, drawing me tighter into his arms, rolling onto his side and dragging me flush against him. “Don’t cry, Lilly,” he said softly.
As I closed my eyes, I pretended the care implicated by those words was genuine.
I clung there, like a broken thing and knowing only he could keep me whole, and so confused about what any of this meant. When that deep rumbling noise came from his chest, I pressed against him harder.
The tears gave way to exhaustion.
And exhaustion gave way to sleep.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
My ‘loaded’ blood could boost cell regeneration at levels similar to a Healer. Additionally, the recipient received a temporary increase of stamina, energy, strength, and reduced sensitivity to pain.
Tsing thought that was the full extent of my singularity, but my secret research painted a very different picture.
Doctor Lillian Brach
Lilly
AS WE EXITED the ship at the port of Chimera, I realized that I had somehow erased the full impact of Ethan from my mind. In my memory, he was a vague specter, dripping in blood, with the face of a demon and the lips of an angel. And I thought he was big, maybe a bit bigger than was average for an Alpha.
Ryker had his hand on the back of my neck, which was the only reason I didn’t bolt the moment I spotted Ethan on the concourse. The last time I’d seen Ethan, he’d been wearing the ugly gray enemy colors. Today he wore our black form-fitting armor—notably absent a belt—that he filled to perfection.
Yes, he did have darkly menacing good looks, and full lips that I recalled had felt like a gift. His hair was longer than I’d remembered, falling to his shoulders, and a shadow of scruff covered his jaw.
He was scowling at me—that scowl could have leveled buildings.
And tall. He was insanely tall. The closer we got to him, the more I wanted to flee.
I heard Ryker chuckle, and his fingers tightened around the back of my neck. “He’s not going to hurt you, baby.” This statement brought a great well of conflict given he had built up Ethan’s belt punishments to near epic proportions.
Ryker didn’t stop until we were a pace away. Here, he positioned me in front of him so that I was sandwiched between them in a move all too reminiscent of that fateful night when Ethan had handed me over.
His presence had hit me from thirty paces away, up close, it was his scent that brought the second mental blow. All Alphas had a pleasing scent, but his wild, earthy scent was familiar.
They had been conditioning me with it as part of the testing for the better part of the last three years.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Ethan demanded.
I sent a swift pleading look at Ryker who had the audacity to wink at me. “He’s asking you a question, babe.”
I turned back in time to see Ethan’s nostrils flare as he narrowed his dark eyes on Ryker before returning them to me.
“I—Ryker selected it,” I said because I wasn’t feeling a smidgen of compassion toward the man…and I thought he could handle Ethan’s wrath far better than I could.
Ethan puffed out a breath, but his scowl softened. “I’m guessing it makes you uncomfortable.” Then his scowl returned as he addressed Ryker. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
