Irish Devil: Brooklyn Kings, Book 4, page 17
“Then let’s pack your bags and go somewhere. I’ll take you back to the apartment with Lucia if you want. If not there, then pick somewhere else. Anywhere you want to go. We can leave right now.”
“That’s part of the problem.” She nearly growls in her frustration. “I don’t know where I want to go. Nearly every decision in my life has been made for me. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to do it myself. Even simple ones. And I want to kill him again for doing that to me.”
“Aurora, baby, I wish I could make things better for you. But don’t let him take one more thing away from you. Look at everything you’ve done in the last week. You’ve survived. You’ve learned how to take care of yourself.” I press my forehead to hers. “Babe, you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
We sit together, touching, breathing in each other’s air. I try to infuse her with my faith in her abilities. Aurora is a goddamn warrior. It’ll take time for her to see that herself.
“Thank you for believing in me. For keeping me grounded. And for showing me what’s possible,” she says, her voice a bit firmer.
I’m almost positive I’m in love with her. Of course I believe in her.
Aurora lets out a deep exhale and rises up. I follow. “I need to call Lucia. Let her know what’s going on. I also think I want to go back to the apartment with her.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.” I nod firmly. “Would you like some help packing your stuff?”
She shakes her head. “No, thank you. I’ll be out shortly.”
It doesn’t take Aurora long and within a few minutes, she’s bringing her bag out to the living room and then her guitar.
I pull out my phone, key in Lucia’s number, and hand it to her.
“Hi, Lucy. It’s me.”
I step away to give her some privacy. She speaks softly, but I can make out a few words here and there. Not long into the call she begins to cry, but she swipes the tears off her cheeks and pulls in a shuddering breath.
“I love you, too. We’ll be there soon.” Aurora ends the call. She hands the phone back. “I’m ready.”
Lucia rushes out into the hallway from their apartment and throws her arms around Aurora. “Oh my god. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
I follow them inside. “Would you like these in your room?”
Aurora nods at the luggage I’m holding up. “Yes, please.”
Leaving the two of them, I take the bags and set them at the foot of her bed. It feels like a lifetime ago when I last stood here begging Aurora to let me help her. So much has happened in such a short time. The uncertainty of the future hits me. I know what I want, but does Aurora? The thought terrifies me.
I rejoin Aurora and Lucia. They’re sitting on the couch, talking in low voices, with Lucia holding Aurora’s hands. The former’s eyes are red and her face is splotchy. They glance up at my arrival and Aurora rises. Not caring that her aunt is observing us, I close the distance between us and cradle her face between my palms.
“You and me,” I tell her. “We’re not done. You understand that, right?”
She hesitates and then nods shallowly. “I do.”
“Good. I’m going to go and let you two talk. Tomorrow, I’ll be back. And the next day. And the day after that. One of those days, I’m going to take you to meet Francesca so you can start your orientation. All right?”
“All right.”
“If you need anything, call me. I don’t care what time it is.” I bend down and kiss her, putting every promise I can into it. I pull back and press another one to her forehead. A knot forms in my stomach at the thought of leaving.
Aurora must sense my emotional turmoil, because she places her palms over mine. “I’m going to be okay. I promise. If I need you, I’ll call.”
I step back and my hands drop to my sides. I manage to drag my gaze away and without saying goodbye, I’m out the door.
The minute I’m in the car, I head to the brownstone. Paddy is in the den playing a video game. He pauses it at my entrance. I stride straight past him and over to the bar where I pour myself an oversized shot of The Devil’s Keep. In a single swallow, I empty the glass. Then I refill it. Paddy steps up next to me, takes the bottle from me.
“I take it we’re getting shit-faced today?” he asks.
I throw the second one back and pour a third before turning to face him. “Yep.”
Paddy nods. “Good deal.”
He swallows his down and pours another. We take our drinks to the couches and collapse onto them, his game forgotten. The aching pain from the bullet wound in my side has been making itself known for a while, but I’ve been ignoring it. There’s no ignoring it any longer. Fucker aches worse than a toothache. I’ll have to call Dr. Byrne in the morning. In the meantime, after a few more drinks, I’ll be able to ignore it again.
“What a fecking day,” Paddy muses, taking a sip of his whiskey. “Your woman sure did a number on that fat bastard. I lost track of how many stab wounds I found. Fecker deserved every single one of them, too.”
“I hate that I wasn’t there to protect her.” It’s been weighing on my mind all day.
“She did a pretty good job of it herself.”
“At what cost, though?” I ask. “Aurora fucking killed a man. She killed her husband. You know what that can do to a person.”
“I do,” Paddy agrees. “But I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit. He was there to take her out. She knows it as well as you and I. A person will do any number of things in self-defense. I’m not saying she won’t be bothered by it. That it won’t be something she thinks about often. I just don’t think it’s going to have this traumatic effect on her. Not after everything that bastard put her through.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Of course I am. I’m always right,” Paddy deadpans.
Chapter 35
Aurora
* * *
I sit in the middle of the living room, plucking at the strings of my guitar. Despite multiple attempts, I hadn’t slept at all. All I kept seeing was Alessandro standing in the middle of the penthouse. He’d been there to kill me. I know it. Guilt weighs heavily on me. Not because I killed him. But because I don’t feel all that guilty that I did.
Anytime it does threaten I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. I study all the faded bruises on my face and body. My fingers pluck at the cast on my arm. If that doesn’t work, I pull off my shirt, turn, and gaze at every scar he put on my back from his belt buckle. I think of all the blood I shed during his abuse. The guilt dissipates like a puff of smoke. Each time it returns, I repeat the process.
Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Lucia exits the hallway from our bedrooms. Her gaze lands on me, and she pauses. “Have you been awake all night?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
She shakes her head. “You didn’t. But for real, have you not slept?”
“Not yet. Couldn’t,” I say.
Lucia crosses into the kitchen and fixes herself some coffee before perching on the edge of the sofa cushion. She cups the mug between her palms and sips. “Where did that come from?”
“Jack.” I strum another off-key chord.
“It’s beautiful.”
It is too. It’s the most perfect thing in the world. I still have trouble believing it’s mine. We sit quietly while she drinks her coffee and I play—poorly—with only the twang of each note filling the silence. Lucia empties her mug and washes it out in the sink before coming back to the living room. Finally, I set the guitar to the side.
“Are you really okay?” she asks.
I don’t answer right away, having to think before giving her an honest answer. “No, not really.” I glance up at her. “But I will be.”
Lucia shakes her head. “I still can’t believe he’s dead. Or that you killed him.”
There’s no judgment in her tone.
“What are you going to do next?” she asks.
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” It’s yet another reason why I didn’t sleep. All I could hear in my head was Jack telling me how strong I was. And I wanted to be. Not for him, but for myself. I had to be, because this is my life. I’m only going to get one chance at this thing. I don’t want to spend the rest of the time I have left being afraid. Or indecisive. I need to take charge.
“The first thing I’m going to do is talk to Brenna’s lawyer. I’m selling Alessandro’s house.” I’m starting to warm up to everything. “After that, I’m going to find myself an amazing apartment that overlooks the water. Maybe along the East River. I’m going to take guitar lessons. I’m probably going to always play badly, but I don’t even care.”
Lucia’s smile grows. “That all sounds wonderful, Aurora.”
“That’s another thing,” I tell her. “I don’t want to be Aurora anymore. I’m not her. She’s meek. Scared. I want to be Rory. That bold and fearless young girl who loved life. That’s who I plan on being going forward.” Gone is the Aurora of old. In her place is the person who goes after what she wants. “I know you’re going to have to head back to England. Before you go, I’d love for you to help me find a new apartment,” I tell Lucia.
“Of course I’ll help. There’s no way I can leave until I know you’re settled.” She studies me. “I noticed you left something out, though. What about Jack?”
“I have no idea what I’m going to do.”
“How do you feel about him?” Lucia asks.
My emotions are all tangled up when it comes to Jack. “There’s so much I feel. But I’m worried that what I feel isn’t enough. Or maybe it’s actually too much. Mostly, though, I’m terrified.”
She slides off the couch cushion and sits next to me on the floor. “What scares you?”
“How much time do you have?” I try to joke, but it falls as flat as my smile. “I’m worried that I’m using him. He’s been so wonderful. Patient. Kind. Loving. Everything I’ve been missing. What if my feelings are for all the things he’s done for me? What if I’m confusing…love with gratitude?”
“You think you love him?” Lucia asks quietly.
“Yes. But the thing that scares me the most is that it’s all an illusion.” I’m not sure my heart will survive if it is.
She reaches out and places her hand on my arm giving it a light squeeze. “You need to trust yourself more.”
I nod, knowing she’s right, but finding it hard to do. Lucia clambers to her feet. “Why don’t I fix us some breakfast and you can tell me all about this new job opportunity waiting for you?”
I’m grateful for the change in topic. “I’ll help.”
I pick myself up off the floor and follow her into the kitchen. We work in tandem while I chatter. “I get to be the friendly face who shows the newly arrived women around. Someone who understands some of what they’re going through. I think I could be really good at it,” I exclaim. “I know what it’s like to be in a situation where you don’t know how you’re going to survive. Even if I haven’t been in their exact shoes, I can relate.”
“It’s such an incredible thing that Francesca is doing. She’s so lucky to have the support of her husband and brother. Of course, there’s Brenna. I understand she volunteers at the community house as well,” Lucia says.
It wouldn’t surprise me at all. Not after everything I’ve learned about her. “The more Francesca told me about everything they do, the more important I felt it was for me to do what I could.”
“I’m really excited for you, Rory. I think it’ll be good for you.”
I think so, too.
We finish breakfast and clean up the kitchen. Lucia’s taking a shower, and I’m sitting out on the enclosed balcony watching the boats. I’ve got a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, and slippers she loaned me. The intercom buzzing startles me. I cross the room and answer it.
“Hello?”
“It’s Jack.”
My heart begins to race at his voice. I quickly punch the button to let him in. Back and forth I pace while I wait for him to climb the stairs. Giddy nerves flutter inside my belly. The knock comes. I swipe my sweaty palm on my pants, take a deep breath in, and open the door.
Emotions swell at the sight of him. His shaggy hair is slightly damp, as though he couldn’t even be bothered to dry it all the way before rushing over. My body heats from the look in his bright blue eyes. It’s become my favorite color.
“Good morning,” he greets me with a lazy smile. “Can I come in?”
I stumble a step backwards, opening the door wider. “Please.”
He strides past and his crisp scent wraps around me like a warm hug.
Chapter 36
Jack
* * *
Aurora is different this morning. Her eyes seem tired, but her expression is softer. Like the worry lines that have been present are gone. Even her shoulders seem looser as though she’s not holding all of her tension in them. I close the distance between us. She tips her head back and stares up at me.
“Good morning.” I brush a few stray strands of hair off her forehead.
She smiles sweetly. “You said that already.”
“True, but I forgot this.” I slide my hand along the back of her neck and dip my head to claim her lips with mine.
She opens to me. My tongue dips inside and gathers the flavor that is all Aurora. She tastes of perfection. Far too soon, I end the kiss. I press my forehead to hers to catch my breath.
“You can say good morning to me like that any time,” she whispers, nearly as breathless as me.
I chuckle and raise my head. “I’ll remember that.”
“You’re here early. I didn’t expect you until later.”
My gaze scans her face. “I was worried about you. Were you okay last night?”
She nods. “Surprisingly, yes.”
“I’m glad.”
“Oh, you’re here.” We both turn at Lucia’s voice.
“Sorry for showing up so early,” I tell her.
She smirks. “I expected you long before breakfast, truth be told.”
“Paddy and I might have stayed up a bit too late and had a few too many whiskeys. Otherwise, I probably would have been,” I admit. “But, I’m here now. I thought I’d take Aurora to talk with Francesca.”
“Let me change my clothes real quick and then I’ll be ready,” Aurora says.
“Take your time.”
She takes a few steps toward the hallway, stops, and glances over her shoulder. “Oh, and it’s actually Rory, now.”
A wide smile takes up my face. “Rory,” I muse. “It fits.”
Her cheeks darken, and a shy grin surfaces. “I’ll be right back.”
I nod and she darts down out of sight leaving me alone with Lucia who’s standing at the threshold between the kitchen and living room. Her arms are crossed and her gaze is fixed on where Auro—Rory—disappeared. Then she turns that gaze on me.
“She didn’t sleep at all last night,” she says.
Fuck. “Nightmares?”
“None that she told me about. Said she spent it thinking.”
“About?” I ask.
“I’ll let her share that with you if she chooses to.” Lucia’s answer impresses me.
“Whatever it is, I’ll support her. All I want is for Rory to be happy.”
She tilts her head and studies me. “I really think you mean that,” Lucia finally says.
I try not to be offended that she could have thought otherwise.
“Do you love her?”
My brow raises at the bold question. “I think Rory should be the first to hear the answer to that.”
She narrows her eyes a fraction. “She deserves to be loved.”
“I agree.”
“Good, I’m glad that’s settled, then.” With that, she strides down the same hallway her niece trekked down not long ago. A door closes. Seconds later, Rory comes walking out. She glances around.
“Where’s Lucia?”
“Her room, I believe.”
She purses her lips. “I wanted to tell her goodbye.”
“I can wait.”
“No, it’s okay,” she waves me off. “I’ll talk to her when I get back. I’m ready.”
“After you.” I gesture and let her lead us out of the apartment to my waiting car.
“This place is incredible.” Rory stares out the window and gapes at the sprawling estate.
I make my way around the circular drive and come to a stop in front of the near mansion with its wooden double doors inlaid with frosted glass. “It really is. The place used to be a private school. It’s been closed for decades. Francesca ran across the property and between Giovanni, Pierce, and Emilio, they purchased the whole thing, buildings included. I guess there’s about five acres of land.”
We exit the vehicle. Rory continues taking it all in. The front door opens and Francesca, along with Anya, steps out.
“Welcome,” she greets us. “I’m glad you could make it.”
“Thanks for meeting us this morning.” I accept her hug. Then she turns it on Rory. I smile and wave at Anya, who stays a few steps back. She returns it.
“Aurora, have you met Anya?” Francesca waves at the younger woman to join us.
“I actually go by Rory, now,”—her mouth tips up to soften the words—“and no, I’m afraid I haven’t had the pleasure, although I saw you at the christening. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You, too.” Anya’s voice is quiet, but strong.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to let her show you around. Introduce you to some of the other volunteers. I, unfortunately, have a telephone conference with one of our board members,” Francesca says.
Rory nods. “Of course.”
“I’ll leave you with her then.” With a short wave, Francesca steps back inside.
“If you’d like to follow me?” Anya gestures toward the sidewalk that stretches along the front of the house and curves around the side. “We won’t be outside too long.”
