Signs and Signals: Riverside Chronicles, page 11
She nods her head, curls bouncing all over the place, inhaling deeply. I turn to look at Atlas, and he has a weird look on his face, one I haven’t seen before. If I focus on the emotion and expression only, not those sexy dimples or his exotic green eyes, it almost looks like awe, mixed in with a touch of admiration and a sense of wonder. His smile is so big, and he is staring right at me. My heart is pounding, I feel like it is about to beat out of my chest and onto the coffee table. I break eye contact and give my attention back to Haven, and she lifts her little hands from the bracelet she was still working on.
We practice together? Me and Atlas?
I let her know that he is at work when the two of us practice and explained that sometimes he will be out of town for baseball games. That he is very busy this time of year because of his work. But when Atlas is available and wants to, I promise her he is more than welcome to join us anytime. She seems to accept my answer, now she moved on to Atlas.
You hear mama, Atlas. You practice with me, when you no work. Deal?
Deal, princess.
Haven’s eyes widen at the nickname he has given her, as do mine. I haven’t told him anything about Haven the entire time we have been seeing each other, so for him to call her princess out of all the names he could have called her, has shocked the both of us.
How you know? You my prince? Mama’s prince? Our prince? You make me and mama smile big. I like you. We friends now. Here.
She pushes the bracelet she has finished toward him, not giving him a chance to refuse her gift or her friendship, not even to answer her questions. He stretches his left arm before me, and I tie the colorful strings tight. Once I am satisfied that it isn’t going to come untied, I turn his wrist to see what she has added to the multicolored strings.
She added a charm with two baseball bats set in a triangle, a baseball nestled in the open space between the bats, hugging the thick thread. Next to that is a red heart on a white bead, and on the other side, a charm displaying the sign for “I love you.”
I remove my hand from his wrist and turn away, not wanting them to see the emotions welling up inside me. The significance of the evening, the gestures, and the connections made are overwhelming. I hear Atlas clear his throat and Amara sniffle. When I turn to look at her, she too is facing away, her hand covering her mouth, eyes glossy with unshed tears.
I’m honored, Haven. Never take it off. Promise. Swear on baseball.
Amara and I laugh at the last part, he seems to always know what to say to make any highly emotional situation, more at ease. I stare into his eyes hoping he can see everything that I am feeling for him, just as I can see everything through him. Haven shocks us all by jumping up and running to hug Atlas around the neck, her little arms squeezing so tight, and he wraps his big ones around her little body in a protective way, in a loving way, it brings the waterworks again.
Fucking hell, this was not supposed to be an emotional evening, it was supposed to be laid back and fun. We ended up not going to the pond to feed the ducks, deciding to stay in and watch a movie and eat ice cream, which was fine by me.
Amara carried a sleeping Haven to her room, as I walked Atlas to the door to say goodnight. It was so sweet to watch him lay his lips on my daughter’s head of curls, whispering, good night, princess, even though she could not hear his tender words, she let out a sigh, as though she had.
Atlas and I stand by the door, neither of us ready to say goodnight. He had mentioned earlier that he needed to be at the clubhouse by four in the morning for the next leg of away games. It’s now 11:45, and I hope he doesn’t miss his alarm. Still, he doesn’t seem bothered by staying here a bit longer.
“I had a great time tonight, Indya. Even though you shocked the hell out of me by introducing me to your daughter, I quickly understood why you did it. She’s an amazing little girl, and that’s because of you. You’re a phenomenal mother, friend—girlfriend. You’re just an all-around amazing woman, and I’m grateful you let me be in your presence,” Atlas says, his voice low and growly, making him even sexier.
“Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed meeting my family. I think when you meet my siblings, you and Silas will become instant best friends. You’re so much alike, it’s ridiculous. It’s nice to hear someone besides my sibling and best friend tell me I’m doing right by her. Some days, I question everything when it comes to her.” I lean against the wall, dreading his departure because we won’t see each other for eleven days. So, yeah, I’m procrastinating, making him stay longer than he planned.
“I meant what I told Haven earlier when she gave me the bracelet. I’m never taking it off, and if it comes off, I’ll be back for a new one. This is the best accessory I’ve ever owned. I think our friendship bracelets rank right up there with my Shelby,” he says, laughing and shaking his head, like he can’t believe he’s comparing a thread bracelet to a car worth more than I’ll ever make in my lifetime.
“You don’t have to wear it all the time, or at all. Haven won’t be offended if you don’t wear it daily. She makes me bracelets all the time now. I explained to her that I’ll wear them on special occasions because none of them match my clothing. But I’m grateful you’re happy to appease her for now.” I shrug, not wanting him to feel obligated to wear something made by a four-year-old girl he just met, though he doesn’t seem to be joking when he says he’s never taking it off. I reach for the door, and his hand lands on mine. The current that runs through me makes me feel like I’m in another world. I remove my hand from his so I can think clearly and tell him goodnight, wishing him a safe trip and to win all the games. He walks out the door, and I softly close it behind him.
I tidy the living room from our movie night. As I place the last glass in the sink, I hear tapping at the door. It worries me because it can’t be Atlas; he left fifteen minutes ago. My brother and sisters would have called if they were coming over this late. Maybe it’s someone from the building needing something, since you can’t get in without being buzzed in, which was one of the main reasons we chose this apartment complex—the security.
We don’t have a peephole, so I can’t see who it is. I usually ask who it is from this side of the locked door, but something in my gut tells me to open it and see for myself.
I open the door to Atlas, and before I can ask why he’s still here, how he got back in, or if he was just standing in the hall this entire time, he grabs me by the neck and pulls me toward him. One of his large hands holds my face while the other presses me closer to his body. Before I can even realize what’s happening, his mouth is on mine.
Chapter Eleven
Atlas
I don’t make it off the second floor; I only make it three feet from her door. For the past thirteen minutes, I have been staring at the welcome mat in front of the door, letting the evening’s events filter through my mind. Indya is a mother. She has a daughter. Haven is the most spectacular little girl I have ever known. Not that I know a lot of four-year-old girls, but you get what I am trying to say. She is so smart that if she weren’t so tiny, I would think she was older, just from her mind alone.
While Indya was making dinner, and we were making bracelets, Haven, Amara, and I played twenty questions. I think I have gotten to know each of them pretty well. Amara wants to move up in her company, so she has been taking online courses to get her degree. She says she still has a ways to go because she enrolled in an online course three months after they moved here. Apparently, she applied, interviewed, and accepted the job offer before they even got here. It’s cool to know that being at the company for such a short amount of time as the receptionist made her want bigger things for her career.
Haven was all over the place with her questions to me. Some were about my family, if I had a dog, and how she would probably like me more if I did have a dog. That I laughed at, because somewhere in the back of my mind, I was thinking about if it would be feasible for me to get a dog right now, in the middle of the season.
She asked questions about the game and why I thought it was the greatest game ever played. Her questions were wiser than her years. I thought she would ask me about what color I like, what I like to eat, basic things, you would think a child would ask you. Nope, she blew my mind, even going as deep as if I had a girlfriend or any kids of my own. Amara just translated like she was not witnessing the same intellect coming from this four-year-old little girl.
I shake the thoughts from my mind, I need to see Indya one more time, just for a moment. I am heading out for eleven days for a stretch of away games, so I won’t see her for probably twelve or thirteen days, because the coach sometimes makes us stay an extra night, so the drivers are not tired. We could have flown, but the teams we are playing are not far from one another and it makes more sense to take the bus this time.
I step up to the door, my heart pounding in my chest. I give it a few light taps, not wanting to wake anyone if she went to bed after I left, like Amara and Haven had done. The night is still, the only sound is the soft rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze. My breath catches as I hear footsteps approaching from the other side. The door creaks open, and there she is, standing in the dim light, her eyes meeting mine.
Before she can say a word, I close the distance between us in a heartbeat. Our eyes lock, a silent connection sparking between us. I reach out, my hand finding the back of her neck, pulling her towards me. My lips crash onto hers with an urgency that surprises even me.
Fireworks.
I’m twenty-six years old and have kissed my fair share of women, but never in my life has a kiss made me see fireworks. It’s as if the world around us fades away, leaving just the two of us at this moment. I tilt her head, deepening the kiss, my tongue tangling with hers. I can feel her responding, giving as much as she’s taking, and it’s intoxicating.
I want more.
I press her closer, my hands roaming to the small of her back, pulling her flush against me. Every touch, every movement, is filled with a desperate need to convey everything I feel for her. The kiss is a dance, a symphony of passion and longing, and I lose myself in it.
If I didn’t know I was in love with her before, this kiss just cemented it. It’s a realization that hits me with the force of a tidal wave, leaving me breathless and yearning for more. I pull back slightly, just enough to rest my forehead against hers, our breaths mingling in the cool night air.
“I love you,” I whisper, the words slipping out before I can stop them. But I don’t regret it. Not for a second. Because it’s the truth, and in this moment, I want her to know it.
I pull back with a groan, not wanting to stop touching her, kissing her, but I need to get home, because I have to be at the clubhouse in just a few hours.
At this point I may as well spend those last few hours here, with Indya, and that sexy mouth of hers. I scan her from head to toe, hair mussed from my hands, chest and cheeks flush, pupils blown, breathing hard, her pulse at her throat is fluttering fast. It is good to know that I affect her as much as she does me—just that thought has me puffing my chest and standing a little taller.
“Wow.” Indya breathes out. Her eyes are wild, wanting me to stay, but needing me to go because we both have responsibilities to take care of tomorrow.
“That was some first kiss, Indya. If I had known that this is what it is like to kiss you, I don’t think I could have been as patient as I was, even though, I know now, the reasoning. But fuck, Indy, please tell me you felt it too. That you feel the same way I do, because if you don’t, I am not sure I can continue this relationship, because it would destroy me being with you and you not feel the same about me,” I plead. Even to my own ears I sound like a pussy, and if the guys could see me right now, they would never let me live it down for as long as I live.
“You called me Indy and not Indya.” Her voice is soft, almost a whisper, but it carries the weight of her emotions. The gentle hum of the refrigerator in the background and the distant sound of traffic outside creates a cocoon of intimacy around us.
“Atlas, I know we have a lot to discuss and talk about,” she continues, her eyes searching mine. “I know you want to know my past and be my future, and I do feel the same as you.” Her hand reaches out, fingers brushing against mine, sending a shiver up my spine. “That kiss was mind-altering. I didn’t realize that kissing would make me feel as though I was floating through the universe.”
Her words hang in the air, and I can almost taste the lingering sweetness of our kiss. The scent of her perfume, a delicate blend of lavender and honey, fills my senses, grounding me in this moment.
“Maybe we can talk about everything when you get back,” she suggests, her voice steady but her eyes betraying a hint of vulnerability. “Taking the time you are away to let everything sink in. You just found out I had a daughter, Atlas, maybe your emotions are running high.”
She takes a deep breath, and I can see the resolve in her eyes. “I have more hearts to protect other than my own. I can’t deny the things I feel for you, deeply, very deeply, but I want to make sure this is something you are prepared for.”
Her gaze shifts slightly, as if she’s looking into the future. “She is always going to be deaf, and I am always going to want to make this world a better place for her. Are you prepared to be second, to Haven’s first?”
The room feels charged with electricity, every word she speaks resonating within me. I can hear the faint ticking of the clock on the wall, each second stretching out as I process her words. The warmth of her hand in mine is a reminder of the connection we share, and I know this moment will define our future.
I get what she is saying, I do. But why is this all coming out now, after the most amazing kiss of our lives? I guess that means I am not getting the rest of the way through the door for our mouths to get to know one another a little more.
“That is what makes me say you are a great mother,” I begin, my voice steady but filled with emotion. “You are putting your child before anyone else. How could I ever fault you for something so selfless?” I reach out, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face, feeling the softness of her skin under my fingertips. “I care for you, and my feelings for you run deep, but even just meeting Haven, I have given her a piece of my heart too.”
I take a deep breath, the cool night air filling my lungs. “I will go along with your plan, for now. Just know, I am not giving you up without a fight, so don’t go to bed overthinking our entire relationship.” I can see the worry in her eyes, and I want to ease it. “There is no time limit on when you should feel certain emotions. Sometimes, our souls aren’t really whole until we find our other half. When that happens, you don’t get to think, this is going too fast or too slow. What works for us may not work for others, and that’s okay.”
I step closer, my hand cupping her cheek, feeling the warmth of her skin against my palm. “Like I said, I know what I feel, and I am never letting you or Haven go. The faster you realize that, the faster we can start living.” I lean in, pressing a tender kiss to her cheek, the scent of her perfume enveloping me.
Without giving her a chance to respond, I turn and make my way to my truck in the parking lot. The gravel crunches under my boots, and the cool breeze rustles the leaves around me. As I reach my truck, I glance back, seeing her standing in the doorway, a silhouette against the dim light. My heart aches with the distance between us, but I know this is just the beginning of our journey.
***
We have been on the road for four days now, we have played in Portland, Boise, Salt Lake, and Denver. Now we are making the long stretch to St. Louis, the game starts at seven, so we are going to be cutting it close. We have won all the games so far, and our goal is to keep winning them until we are at the World Series. Winning the series is what will make all this worth it.
The Legends have made it to the playoffs every year since I have been drafted, but we never make it to the actual World Series game. Last year, we were two games away from our goal and ended up losing by two runs.
I am sitting next to Simms, as usual, and he has been telling me about the “chicks” he has been seeing.
“So, you are telling me, you are wining and dining, five different women, and none of them know about each other, but they all live in our town. Don’t you think that eventually you are going to run into one of them while you are out with another one? Fucking hell, man, how can you not realize this is going to blow up in your face?” I can’t even fathom looking at another woman, because I have Indya, and this mother fucker over here is with five women from the same town we live in. I am anxiously waiting for the moment that he meets his other half, and she knocks him off that pedestal that his ass is perched on.
“Dude, that will never happen. And before you ask how I know; I will tell you. It’s simple really, I just don’t take any of them out,” Simms says smugly like he just found the cure for cancer and can’t believe no one else figured it out.
