Hawk (Black Hearts MC - Book 4), page 12
My mouth hangs open, not quite sure how to respond to that. Instead, I end up just looking at him confused.
“There ain’t no way or how he will take her out,” a deep voice snaps from behind Beast. He turns and I look up to see Hawk stood behind him, glaring down at Beast, his arms folded across his chest.
Beast gets up, standing toe to toe with Hawk. “You staking your claim, brother?” Beast asks. Hawk doesn’t respond. They just continue having their stare off. I don’t know what is going on, but I do know I feel awkward sat here.
Having had enough, I stand and sandwich myself and Maisy between the two of them. They both look surprised as they look down. “Enough! I’ve had enough of this shit. I have been working here for one day, and more has happened in the last twenty-four hours than in any other job or in my entire life!” I rant as I look up at Hawk. “I know you’re my boss, but I do not work for an organisation. Beast doesn’t work with you, so therefore I should be free to date him, right?” I look between both of them. Beast is smiling wide, and Hawk just looks pissed off. I poke Beast in the chest. “Hey buster, this doesn’t mean I’m going to go out with you. I just want to clarify the rules, the laws, and the regulations over my private life,” I snap.
Beast hold his hands up in surrender and nods his head, accepting my response. “You’re right, my apologies, darlin’.”
Turning around, I face Hawk. “And you? Do you accept that my private life has nothing to do with you or my job?” I stand there, waiting for Hawk to say something, but he doesn’t. He simply takes Maisy from my arms, turns, and walks right out of the door. I hold my hands out wide and huff in frustration. I turn to Beast. “How is that an answer? I swear, I have never known a boss to have so many mood swings, and I’ve worked for menopausal women.” I follow Hawk outside, leaving Beast laughing loudly behind me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
JOSIE
I made sure to keep my distance from Hawk for a while, ensuring to keep things very professional. He obviously needed space to deal with things, and I needed him not to get involved in my personal life. Beast never did ask me again to go on a date, and to be honest, I was grateful. I’m not sure I would be comfortable going on a date with another member of the Black Hearts MC. Tomorrow is Maisy’s mum’s funeral, and I think the fluctuations in Hawk’s emotions may be down to that. I’m trying to be understanding while keeping things professional, even though I’m expected to attend tomorrow. I guess they need me to watch Maisy and Enzo while they mourn their loss, which is fine. I just need to remember to keep my own emotions in check.
Standing outside of Hawk’s bedroom door, I shift on my feet, not wanting to disturb him. He didn’t come home until late last night, but we are out of formula, and the nearest store is fifteen miles away. I don’t want to just take his truck without asking. I knock on his door, quietly at first, and wait for a response. I lean my ear close to the door and listen for movement, but there’s nothing.
I knock again, pausing to wait for the door to open, but still nothing happens. I bite down on my bottom lip and quietly open the door. Peeking around the dimly littered room, I see Hawk fast asleep in his bed. The sheet is hung lowly over his hips, and his chest is on display. Damn, why can’t I ever work for an old and fat bald guy?
“Hawk,” I whisper. “Hawk,” I whisper again. When he still doesn’t answer, I try poking his arm. “Hawk,” I say, a little louder this time. He still doesn’t move. His chest rises and falls as he sleeps deeply. Sighing, I place my hands on my hips. This is ridiculous. I look around the room and decide to yank open his curtains. It is 10:30, after all. As I opened the curtains, bright sunlight streamed in through the window, right onto Hawk.
He groans and rolls over. “Fuck! What the hell do you think you’re doing, Josie?!”
I turn and face him. “I was trying to wake you nicely, but you were in too much of a deep sleep. I’m guessing that’s what happens after too many drinks at the club,” I snap.
Hawk sits up in bed, squinting his eyes as he glares at me. “Not that it is any of your fucking business, but I haven’t had a drink in days.”
“Oh,” I blurt out, feeling a little embarrassed. I shouldn’t have made the assumption, and he is right, it is none of my business. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume, and it is none of my business,” I apologise. “I was just asking if it was okay for me to use the truck. Maisy is out of formula, so I need to go to the store and get her some,” I query.
Hawk rubs his face and nods. “Sure, the keys are hanging by the door. You know how to drive over there?” he asks.
I rolled my eyes and nod. “No, I thought I’d take Maisy for a joy ride,” I say sarcastically.
Hawk smirks. Leaning over the edge of the bed, he grabs his jeans that have been chucked on the floor. Reaching in the pocket, he pulls out some cash and hands it to me.
“I don’t need any money. I have enough on me,” I protest.
“Just take the damn money. I don’t expect you to pay for my daughter out of your own money,” he says adamantly.
I sigh and take the cash. “Thanks, I won’t be long,” I say before leaving, shutting his bedroom door behind me. I grab the key off the hook and pick up Maisy who is already in her car seat, waiting patiently while gnawing on a teething ring, drawl running down her chin. I load her into the truck and then jump in the driver’s seat. I still find it bizarre, driving such huge vehicles. Back home, I had a small car that could barely fit two shopping bags in the boot. This truck feels like I could fit an entire couch in the back of it.
We make it to the store without incident. I always worry that I will end up driving on the wrong side of the road. I’ve done it once before and that was terrifying. I grab a trolley and head inside with Maisy, who is busy flapping her arms about with a vice like grip on her teething ring, flicking dribble everywhere. I thought she was a little young to start teething, but after a quick Google search, I found out that it can start now and take months, which is just great. I walk to the baby aisle and find Maisy’s formula. I grab three tubs to last her a while, then deciding while she’s quiet, to have a look around. As I turn down the books aisle, I spot a familiar face. A face I really, really never want to see again. I try to turn around, quickly hoping that he doesn’t spot me.
“Josie!” he yells.
I freeze, wincing. Turning around, I plaster on a fake smile. “Oh hey, I didn’t see you there,” I say, lying through my teeth. His eyes sweep up and down my body, not in an appreciative way, but in a critical, assessing way. “So, what brings you all the way out here? I thought you were headed north with your er, new girlfriend,” I say as casual as I can, even though what I really want to say is, the poor unfortunate bitch you’re controlling now.
He rests his hands in his pockets and sighs. It’s something I thought he looked cute doing before, but now I realise he is just an utter prick. “Well, that all ended. I just, it just didn’t feel right with her, you know? I, god Josie, this is going to sound insane, but meeting you here, I just know it’s meant to be.” He sighs before a smile takes over his face, flashing his cute dimple that I used to think was adorable. Now I just want to rip it off his stupid face. “I, I miss you,” he confesses. I frown and give him a ‘what the fuck’ look. We haven’t seen each other in five months, maybe more. He used to emotionally abuse me, and that last straw was when he hit me. I ran for the hills after that. He reaches out and grabs my arm, his thumb softly stroking back and forth. I’m too stunned by his admission to really take much notice. “You look as beautiful as ever,” he adds. Just then, whimpers come from the trolley.
I turn my attention to Maisy and pick her up in my arms. “Listen Ben, I have a new job. I’m happy on my own and I don’t want us,” I say, gesturing between the two of us. “Together, we were toxic. It wasn’t good and I, I don’t think I can forgive you for what you did,” I say honestly.
A flicker of anger washes over Ben’s face, but he quickly hides it. His hand on my arm begins to grip tighter, and it’s then that I realised he never really let go of me. His fingers start to dig into my skin, pinching my arm. I try and pull away, keeping Maisy cradled to my chest.
Ben smiles. “I get it. What I did was terrible, but you pushed me to that. You pushed me so far, that I just lost it with you. You and I belong together. Remember, it was us against the world. I’m guessing you’ve forgotten, now that you have someone else in your life.”
“Ben, let go of my arm,” I demand through gritted teeth. He doesn’t let go. His grip only tightens. “I said, let go of my arm,” I growl. Thankfully, someone else comes down the aisle and he releases his grip on my arm, now moving his fingers through his hair.
I place Maisy back in the trolley, quickly and carefully, desperate to get out of this situation. “Don’t ever come near me again!” I hiss at him quietly through gritted teeth, before I turn and quickly walk away. I don’t wait around to see what he’s got to say, and I don’t look back to see if he’s following me. I get out of the store as quick as I can.
I settled Maisy in the truck and threw the formula on the passenger seat next to me. The cashier must’ve thought I had lost my mind when I chucked $100 at them and ran out of the store, but at this moment in time, I didn’t care. My arm still feels tender from his painful grip. I just wanted to get out of there.
The whole journey back, I was constantly checking my rear-view mirror, making sure he’s not following me. I breathe a sigh of relief when I don’t notice anything unusual. Pulling onto the drive, I get out and grab Maisy, trying to balance the three tubs of formula in my other arm as I make it to the front door. Before I have a chance to get the keys out of my pocket to unlock the front door, Hawk swings it open and takes Maisy from me.
“You should have left the milk in the truck. I would have come out and got it for you,” he says as he takes Maisy out of her seat. I take one last glance up and down the street before I close the front door. “What is it?” Hawk asks.
I spin around. “Nothing, nothing. I, er, just thought I saw a dog running down the street, but it was a just a cat,” I lie with a fake smile. I rush past him, carrying the formula into the kitchen and quickly go about making up Maisy’s next bottle.
“You sure you’re okay?” Hawk asks from behind me, making me jump.
I turn and give him a brief smile. “Yep, yep. All good,” I lie. I continue to concentrate too hard on Maisy’s bottle, waiting for Hawk to leave. I eventually hear his footsteps retreat and I let out a relieved sigh.
How in the hell did Ben find me here? And why has he come here to find me? He was all set up with his new woman and job. It makes no sense at all.
Walking back into the living room, Hawk has hold of Maisy. He holds out his hand for the bottle and I pass it to him. “We leave at noon tomorrow. The service is brief and will be finished by one, then it’s back to the club after,” Hawk reminds me.
“Yeah, Star told me the rundown of the day.” I nod. “Hopefully she has a lot of friends and family to turn up,” I state.
“She didn’t have any family. She was a foster kid like me,” he states.
“Oh,” I say, not knowing what else to say to that. I absentmindedly rub my arm and wince when my hand runs over the area where Ben grabbed me.
“You hurt your arm?” Hawk asks. I drop my hand immediately and shake my head no.
“Oh no, um, just banged it at the store. It will be fine.” I shrug. “Actually, do you mind if I go and have a bath?” I ask.
His eyes watch me for a moment before he nods. “Sure.”
“Great, thanks,” I say as I stand, and without thinking, I walk over to Hawk and Maisy. Bending down, I place a soft kiss on Maisy’s head. “Beautiful girl,” I say softly. As I stand, Hawk’s gaze is pinned on me. I clear my throat. “Sorry, um, she’s just too cute sometimes,” I mutter before I scurry upstairs, locking myself in the bathroom.
Turning on the taps, I sit on the edge of the bath and place my head in my hands. I’ve been working for Hawk for a while now, and I feel... Hell, I don’t know what I feel. I was so sure this was going to be it for me, that this was going to be the big fuck you to Ben, my parents, and everyone that ever doubted me and made me feel like shit. Instead, I find myself confused, aroused, angry, and well, everything. It’s a job like no other, that’s for damn sure.
Removing my clothes, I climb into the still running bath. Sighing, I close my eyes. It can’t get any worse, can it?
CHAPTER TWENTY
HAWK
Buttoning up my black shirt, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Last night, I stayed home, feeling like I needed to be close to Maisy. I’ve not exactly been the best fucking father to her lately, but the night before we bury her mom, I couldn’t leave her, even though she doesn’t understand what the fuck is going on. Each night before that, I was sleeping at the club, fucking a club bunny each night. I needed to release the stress and tension somehow, and I had made a promise that I wouldn’t get wasted and do what I did to Maisy again. I think Star would hand me my balls.
A light tap at the door snaps me out of my thoughts, and I turn to see Josie stood there holding Maisy. “Sorry, um, they are here to pick us up,” she says softly.
I lift my chin and reach for my cut. “Let’s go,” I say, gesturing for her to go ahead. As we make it outside, I freeze as I see the hearse with Hallie’s coffin covered in flowers. A woman in a black pant suit walks up to me, her face soft and sympathetic. She holds out her hand.
“Sir, I understand this is an incredibly emotional time. Would you wish to ride in the car provided or with your club?” she asks.
“I want you and Maisy in the car. I need to ride,” I state, aiming my words at Josie, while not taking my eyes off the coffin. I clear my throat and look at the woman. “Thank you,” I say before walking to my bike. I need to feel the freedom of the road right now.
Ghost lifts his chin in my direction as we wait for Josie and Maisy to get in the car, then we kick start our bikes. The loud rumbling of our bikes echoes for miles. I catch the neighbours coming out on their porches to pay their respects, or just be fucking nosey.
We pull into the parking lot for the memorial service, and it’s then that I notice a group of people in uniform. “What the fuck are they doing here?” I grit through my teeth.
Ghost squeezes my shoulder and walks over to talk to the police staff with rifles. “They doing a three volley salute?” Beast asks, coming to stand behind me.
“They got a fucking nerve showing up here. I bet at least half of them are responsible for her death,” I seethe.
“Easy brother, let’s just get through the service. The hearse is coming in now,” Spider warns.
I climb off my bike as Ghost walks back. “They are here to pay their respects, and in honour of her service, they are to do a three gun volley,” he says, rubbing his chin.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I point out.
His gaze meets mine and he shakes his head. “One of them, I don’t like, but not now. We get through it,” Ghost whispers.
“They here for Hallie?” Star asks, coming up behind me.
“Yeah.” Ghost nods.
I turn and see Josie walking up, carrying Maisy. She gives me a small smile. I take Maisy in my arms, and they carry Hallie’s coffin down to a plot. I wanted it outside, even though she is to be cremated. We sit in the chairs provided, and I watch as one of the officers places a flag over the end of her coffin.
The service was as expected, but the only thing that got me was that I didn’t know enough about her. There weren’t any stories of her past, none. No stories of friendship, and no family. She only had Maisy. I get up and walk away before the three gun volley, unable to control my anger anymore. Plus, I don’t want Maisy to hear fucking gun fire. I don’t care if people think it’s rude or disrespectful.
Hearing footsteps rushing to keep up behind me, I stop abruptly and turn around. Josie stumbles to a stop. “What?” I snap.
“I thought I would offer to take Maisy away while they shoot, so you can be there for that,” she says.
I scoff a laugh. “I don’t want to be there for that shit. You do know that they rarely do this for police? Wonder why they are doing it for Hallie,” I wonder bitterly.
Josie shrugs. “Maybe because she was exceptional at what she did,” she suggests.
I laugh. “She was fucking exceptional. She found out exactly what those fuckers were up to. They are all fucking corrupt. That is what got her fucking killed. They killed her,” I growl.
Maisy whimpers in my arms. “Let me take Maisy while you’re so upset. She can sense it,” Josie says, holding out her hands.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to regain my self-control. I shake my head. “No, I won’t hand her off on the day of her mother’s funeral.” I pause and sigh. “Thank you though for today.” Reaching out, I place my hand on her arm and give her a gentle squeeze. She flinches at my touch, and I frown confused. “What’s the matter?” I question.
She takes a step back and shakes her head. “Nothing, just whacked it on the door frame yesterday. You don’t need to thank me. It’s my job,” she adds.
I’m about to press further, as her story is different from yesterday, but one of the officers comes walking over. He holds out his hand to greet me, but I don’t return the gesture. I just stare at him.
“Uh, I’m Detective Saunders. I wanted to introduce myself and say that Hallie was an exceptional officer and a friend,” he says, smiling.
“She was exceptional,” I snap back bluntly.
“So, er, I guess this is her daughter,” he says, reaching out to touch Maisy’s cheek.
I step back, not letting him touch her. “It is, but sadly, she will have to grow up without her mother. It’s odd that someone would break into her home and stabbed her to death, yet not steal any valuables. It’s almost as if it was a targeted attack, like the person or persons were looking for something, that maybe Hallie knew too much,” I growl, feeling my blood begin to boil beneath the surface.
