Wireless, page 17
Fuck—they could shoot out here, more than they could in the city.
I stumbled on some broken concrete, and took a hard left. Then another, doubling back, but hopefully without them behind me. Footsteps reverberated off the crumbling buildings. Their feet? Or echoes of mine? I wasn’t stopping to find out.
I ran as fast as my aching, burning legs would let me. I begged my muscles to hang in there a little longer. I’d pay for this later, but I’d be damned if I was paying for it in a jail cell. After a few more turns, I sprinted up to a building and climbed in through what used to be a window. Inside, I pressed myself up against the wall and held my breath. Though my lungs screamed for air, especially after running for so long, I didn’t dare make a sound.
The world was silent. Absolutely silent.
Still, I waited.
As quietly as possible, I released my breath and took in another. That seemed to make it worse—now that my lungs had a taste of desperately needed air, they couldn’t get enough, and it took every bit of restraint I possessed to keep breathing slowly, deeply, and silently.
Finally, I was convinced I was alone. I collapsed to my knees and gasped for air. My exhausted muscles trembled violently, and the ankle I’d turned throbbed as mercilessly as the bruises from my scuffle with the escorts.
But I was safe. Holy fuck. I was actually safe.
As I caught my breath, reality closed in, tightening my throat and shaking me even harder than the exhaustion in my muscles.
Safe? No. Not even close.
Fuck. What did I just do?
I had literally nothing now. I didn’t even have anything close to a guarantee that I could find Aiden.
I told myself this wasn’t just for Aiden, and it wasn’t. If I didn’t turn him in, I was going to prison. But I couldn’t convince myself that I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I hadn’t had the threat of jail time hanging over my head. Given the choice between a comfortable but cold, empty life, and a risky one with the physical intimacy I’d known only with him… it was stupid and a no-brainer all at the same time.
Kneeling here in this decrepit Old City building, my mind reeling and my body shaking, I felt like I was in a dream. I’d never been so terrified in my life. My whole world had been thrown on its ass.
Breathing in the acrid scent of the factories and squalor from the slums on the other side of the mech tracks, though, I couldn’t pretend this was all a dream. It was real. Far too real. There was no going back. My chip had had an unauthorized modification. One that deactivated a government tracker. With that tacked on to the long list of reasons the cops were keeping an eye on me, I was a permanent part of the underground unless I wanted to go to prison.
Everything was gone. My money. My job. My apartment. My freedom to move throughout the city without keeping my head down. I’d be on the watch list on Lacey’s tablet by the time her shift started.
I had nothing.
Except Aiden.
My stomach twisted. He was gone too. How was I going to find him in a city this big when we both had to lay this low?
He probably didn’t dare show his face in any of the wireless lounges. He’d never set foot in a simhouse without a completely new fake identity, and even if he did, I couldn’t show mine either, so there would be no checking the records to see if he’d been there.
There was only one place I could think of where he might still go. It was a long shot, but I didn’t let myself think about what I would do if he wasn’t there. It became my goal, my target, the one place in the universe I had to get to.
Tonight, I’d find a place to stay and some means of feeding myself.
Tomorrow, I’d find Aiden.
Chapter 22
Going back into the city proper was risky, especially going to a place that was so visible, but I had to try.
And smelling like I’d slept behind a factory all night—which I had—would make me stand out too much, so just outside the slums, I persuaded a hostel owner to let me grab a shower and clean my suit. Apparently that wasn’t the worst thing she’d been asked, so she didn’t give me any trouble.
Then I worked my way back into the heart of the city. By late afternoon, I’d reached my destination: the mech tracks.
This was the same place where we’d watched the sun go down that night a lifetime ago. Standing here now, looking up at the place where we’d sat with our legs dangling over the side, it occurred to me he might not always come to the same spot. The mech tracks extended for miles in each direction, with countless vantage points where he could sit to watch the sun set.
He truly could be anywhere, but I was here, so I had to wait and see if he came too. If he didn’t, then I’d figure out my next move.
So I hung back in the shadows and waited. And waited. And waited.
As the sun sank lower in the sky, my heart sank lower in my chest. Maybe he wouldn’t show up tonight.
But he usually came here to know parts of his world were still the way they needed to be. If I knew him, he needed that these days more than ever.
Occasionally, people passed by. Sometimes on foot, sometimes on motorcycles, none of them Aiden. Sundown was getting closer by the minute. I sighed and slumped against the wall. This was fucking hopeless. In a city this big, did I really think I could find him? If I could, then so could the police, so either he’d been arrested already, or he was wisely hiding somewhere they—and I—couldn’t find him.
Footsteps approached. I closed my eyes and whispered a near-silent prayer that it was Aiden this time.
I looked around the corner.
And my heart stopped.
“Aiden?”
He halted and faced me. As soon as our eyes met, his widened. “What the—”
“Please.” I swallowed. “Don’t… don’t walk away.”
“I…” He looked around, then faced me again and studied me. “What happened to you?”
“Apparently it’s not a good idea to run from the cops in the slums.”
His eyes got even bigger. “What are—” He shook himself. “Look, you shouldn’t be here. This is dangerous for both of us, and you know it.”
“Where else can I go?” I gestured in the general direction of the rest of the city. “I don’t belong there anymore. I’m not… I don’t fit.”
“But this is—”
“I needed to find you.”
“If anyone sees us together—”
“Let them.” I threw up my hands. “I can’t… I just couldn’t…”
“Damn it, Keith.” He exhaled sharply. “I lost everything so you could be safe. And now you’re… you know there’s no going back, right?”
“Yeah. I do.” I stepped closer, inching toward him as if he were a stray cat who might take off if startled. “You gave up all that for me. So can’t you understand why I gave it all up for—”
“No! I had to do it because it was my fault you were even there.”
“But I was there, and I can’t pretend I don’t know what I’m missing if I don’t have it again.” I swallowed hard. “If I don’t have you again.”
He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Keith…”
I shifted my weight. “How did you even know there’d be a raid that night? Or that they’d be looking for me?”
Aiden’s shoulders drooped. “A counter-informant told me they were gathering evidence and were days, maybe even hours, away from arresting you and questioning you. By having them find you that way, it weakened all of their arguments.”
I leaned against the wall, just trying to keep my legs under me.
He took a breath. “If we’d both been caught, we would have gone to prison. Might have been a slap on the wrist for me, but we both know you would have lost everything.” He struggled to hold my gaze. “I knew if they found you drugged, they’d treat you as a victim, not a perpetrator. They would never have been able to prove that all the previous times, you’d been there of your own free will.”
I stared at him.
He chewed his lip. “And if you knew why you were drugged, then you might slip and say something while you were semiconscious.”
“You mean like admitting that I’d been going there willingly?”
“Almost anything you’d said while you were drugged, they’d have to dismiss it as incoherent rambling. But if you’d let it slip that you knew you were being drugged…” He grimaced. “A little harder to get around that.”
“But…that means…” I shook my head. “Aiden, as far as the authorities are concerned, you drugged me, raped me, and left me for dead in the Old City. If we’d been caught, we both would have gone to prison, but now you’re wanted for a capital felony.”
“I know. But I convinced you to go to the wireless lounge in the first place. I couldn’t live with myself if you’d wound up in jail. I just…” He scowled and gestured sharply at me. “I figured you’d do the smart thing and stay away.”
“I couldn’t.”
He flinched.
“I…” I moistened my lips. “They wanted me to lead them to you.”
Aiden’s eyes widened, and his shoulders slowly sank. Crestfallen, he whispered, “So they’re on their way now?”
“No. I had my chip deactivated.”
His jaw fell open. “What?”
“I had it deactivated. I… I ran. Because I needed—”
“You gave up all of that… for me?”
“You did the same for me.”
“But I—”
“It wasn’t just you,” I said. “It was the world you showed me. You were right—there’s no going back.”
He winced. “I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t be.” I stepped toward him, narrowing the distance until I could almost touch him. “Because I’d rather live in this world, consequences and all, than go on without being that close to someone. Without being that close to you.”
“But we…”
“I know. I know all the consequences and the reasons why we shouldn’t.” I raised my eyebrows. “If you don’t want to take the risk, then…” I gestured at the deserted pathway he’d come up.
He glanced at it, then at me.
And he didn’t move.
I did, though. I came a little closer, and when he didn’t back away, I took his gloved hand.
Aiden exhaled. “I should’ve known I couldn’t walk away from you if I wanted to.”
“You and me both.” I squeezed his hand, and then pulled him into the shadows. Safely out of sight, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. It was so weird, kissing him without feeling his flesh against mine, but it was all I had, and I needed all I could get, so I deepened the kiss, searching for every taste of him I could find.
He broke away, touching his forehead to mine. “If anyone sees either of us at all, we’re both going to prison.”
“I know. But I’d rather take my chances with you than alone.”
“This is insanity,” he said. “We can’t do this. God, you know I want to. And if there was a way, we would. But it’s—”
“I love you, Aiden.”
He pulled back and stared at me. “What did you say?”
I looked him in the eyes. “You heard me.”
His lips parted. “Keith…”
“I love you.” I swallowed hard. “And I don’t… I don’t give a fuck about…” I exhaled hard. “That’s why I can’t stay away. That’s why I came looking for you in the first place. You gave up so much to save me, and I don’t want to stay in the life I had without you.” I paused. “I’m already past the point of no return.”
He touched my face. “I love you too. That’s why I left. I couldn’t stand to see you risk everything for me.”
“Too bad,” I said with a cautious grin. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
He held my gaze for a moment, and then we both laughed.
“Come here,” he murmured, and reached for me. I let him pulled me into a tight embrace. We both shivered as he kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around him and opened to his kiss, letting him slide his tongue past my lips.
After a moment, I broke the kiss. “God, I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He drew back and held my gaze. “I just don’t want you to get hurt,” he whispered, holding me tighter.
“I know. But I can’t go back. And I don’t want to.” I sighed, my shoulders sinking. “I don’t know what the fuck to do now, but…”
He smoothed my hair with a gloved hand. “We can falsify our identities. I’ve already got someone working on mine. This city is big enough, we can disappear. But that means leaving everything, and I—”
“I’ve already left everything behind. You’re the only thing I can’t leave behind.”
“That’s easy to say now.”
“Is it?” I arched an eyebrow. “My entire life has revolved around the goddamned sims. The only thing left for me here is to let the government match me up with a woman, get married, raise some kids, and turn them out into a world that will never let them touch someone else. It’s all, it’s…” I threw up my hand. “It’s all mechanical, and prescribed, and clean. And I hate it. I hate everything about it.” Looking him in the eyes, I found just enough breath to add, “Everything except for you.”
Aiden looked me in the eye, like he was searching my gaze for something. I thought he might say something, maybe tell me I was fucking crazy, but he just hugged me. When he released me, he touched his forehead to mine, the warmth of his skin taking my breath away.
“I have a place a few clicks from here. In the Old City. It’s not great, but it’s a roof and a bed. Best thing I can rent anonymously with cash.”
“Anything’s better than sleeping in the back of a factory.”
He drew back, eyebrow arched. “Are you speaking from experience?”
I shuddered.
He cupped my face in both hands and kissed my forehead. “You won’t be sleeping in a place like that tonight. Or ever again if I have anything to say about it.” Then he released me and held out his hand. “Come on.”
I didn’t say a word. I just took his hand and followed him down the road.
Chapter 23
Like all the remaining buildings in the slums, this one was run down, likely part of the first wave of new construction that had begun forty-odd years ago, back when the Old and New Cities were divided. Within a few years, it would probably be razed and replaced by a towering state-of-the-art apartment complex.
Inside, he locked the door behind us. His apartment was small, as they usually were in these gritty parts of town, with nothing but standard-issue furniture and a few scattered possessions. I wasn’t interested in where he lived, though. Only that we were here. Alone. Together.
We faced each other. I wanted nothing more than to go to him and touch him, but disbelief kept me immobile. This was real, but if I moved or if touched him, would that change?
After a long, long moment, Aiden shouldered himself off the door and came toward me. My heart thundered as he closed the distance between us.
“I didn’t want you putting yourself at risk,” he said softly. “But I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” I swallowed hard. “I couldn’t stay away.”
Aiden said nothing. He lowered his gaze. As he tugged at the fingers on one of his gloves, my heart skipped, and I held my breath as he peeled off the glove, revealing the fair skin underneath. When it was off, he tossed it aside and met my eyes.
I bared one of my own shaking hands. The air in the room was cool against my skin, and a shiver ran through me, as if I were already naked.
Aiden held out his hand, palm up. Eyes locked on mine, he didn’t move, didn’t speak.
Holding my breath, I reached for his hand, and as mine slowly neared his, the warmth from his skin have me goose bumps, which rose as best they could beneath this constrictive suit. As I lowered my hand onto his, and he clasped his fingers—bare, warm, unhindered—around mine, I closed my eyes and released the breath I’d been holding. In the beginning, skin-to-skin contact had been new and terrifying, addictive and taboo. Now? It was pure relief. The ground beneath my feet was still, but the entire world felt like it was shifting back onto its axis, righting itself for the first time since the last time we’d touched.
Aiden’s fingers slipped between mine. Our eyes met again. We inched closer together, my heart pounding as his lips neared mine.
I pressed my lips to his. He combed his fingers through my hair, and we held each other as close as these damned suits would allow. Just his soft kiss was enough to nearly rattle my legs out from under me. I’d been starving for him but hadn’t realized just how much until now.
Aiden broke the kiss. Still holding on to my hand, he led me across the tiny room to the narrow bed.
We didn’t speak as we stripped off our suits. I almost shook mine off, my skin desperate to be separated from the smooth interior.
Aiden let his suit fall to the floor beside him. God, he was beautiful. And just seeing him this way, naked and with nothing to divide us, nearly overwhelmed me. Like everything was as right as it would ever be in my world.
He reached for me. “Come here.”
Aiden didn’t kiss me. He didn’t drag me into his bed. He wrapped his arms around me, and as flesh met flesh, all the breath left my lungs. I pulled him closer, pressing my fingers into his back and burying my face in his neck.
And I cried. I couldn’t stop myself. The warmth, the closeness, the relief. I’d been trapped inside that suit and its isolation for all this time, and I’d never felt as liberated as I did now that Aiden had his arms around me.
He stroked my hair and held me to him. “I’ve missed you so much. So damned much.” After a moment, he drew back and cupped my face in his hand. “You all right?”
I nodded. “Now that I’m here? Yeah. I’m all right.” I wiped my eyes. “I missed you too. More than you can imagine.”
He smiled and brushed the pad of his thumb across my cheekbone. “Don’t count on that.”
