Viva Jacquelina!, page 1
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Copyright © 2012 by L. A. Meyer
All rights reserved. For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.
Harcourt is an imprint of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.
Text set in Minion Pro
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-publication Data
Meyer, L. A. (Louis A.), 1942–
Viva Jacquelina!: being an account of the further adventures of Jacky Faber, over the hills and far away / written by L. A. Meyer.
[1. Sex role—Fiction. 2. Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. 3. Spies—Fiction. 4. Seafaring life—Fiction. 5. Europe—History—1789–1815—Fiction. 6. Great Britain—History—George III, 1760–1820—Fiction.] I. Title.
Manufactured in the United States of America
DOC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
As always, for Annetje...
. . . and for Medca, too.
’Tis Forty Shillings on the Drum
For those who Volunteer to come
To enlist and fight the Foe today,
Over the Hills and Far Away.
Over the hills and over the Main
To Flanders, Portugal, and Spain.
King George commands and we must obey,
Over the Hills and Far Away...
“It is time to cut it off, Higgins,” I announce firmly, seating myself in front of my mirror. “If you would be so good. I do not think it would serve me well here in Portugal.”
“I believe you are right, Miss,” agrees my good Higgins. He takes comb and scissors from his kit and surveys my head appraisingly. The Faber head now sports a long pigtail in back, with a short, peach-colored fuzz over the rest of it. I had stopped having my skull shaved several weeks ago, so the hair that resides thereon is presently about three- quarters of an inch long.
My head, hair, and all the rest of me is now contained in a small cabin on the troop ship HMS Tortoise, which lies at a wharf in Lisbon. Its men, supplies, and horses are being offloaded, as are the other ships of our recent convoy that had accompanied us across the Channel and down the coast to the Iberian Peninsula—a total of six thousand men and all of their gear.
So goodbye to London and to all of her lovely charms— and hello to a gritty, dangerous, and dirty life on the path to war. Oh, well, I have been there before and am certainly no stranger to dirt, nor to war, for that matter. Because of what my poor self has been through in the way of abandonment, street fights, naval battles, storms, shipwrecks, maroonings, fires, kidnappings, tar-and-featherings, near-hangings and near-beheadings, imprisonments, enslavement, and other personal disasters, I have long since given up the notion that I am mistress of my own fate. I am but a thistle blown about by the breeze. Lord, in your wisdom, send me where you wouldst have me go, and to that place I will go. Amen.
Higgins gently lifts the doomed pigtail and I feel the cool of his scissors against the back of my neck. There is the snick, snick of hair being cut and presently the shorn pigtail dangles before my eyes.
“What shall we do with it, Miss?” asks Higgins, making it wiggle as if it were a snake. I know that Higgins has never been particularly fond of my Chinese hairstyle, but he was even less fond of the collection of rather garish wigs that I had acquired over the past few years to cover up several instances of severe and sudden hair loss that I have experienced in my somewhat turbulent life. Consequently, before we left London, he purchased for me a nice sandy-blond wig that closely approximates the color of my own locks and is, I believe, quite presentable.
“Oh, just put it in my seabag, Higgins. It might come in handy sometime,” I reply. “Perhaps someday I shall have to fashion a false mustache or beard out of it.”
“Considering your past history, Miss, I do not consider that statement to be at all outlandish,” he murmurs, laying the braid aside for later storage. “Now, let me even this up.”
He once again applies the scissors to the back of my neck. Snip, snip . . .
“There. That should blend quite nicely with the rest as it grows back,” he says, plainly satisfied with the result. “However, it does lay quite bare that mythological beast you wear on your nape.”
He is, of course, referring to the fire-breathing golden dragon tattoo that Cheng Shih had emblazoned on the back of my neck when I was on her ship last year, and she had me under her rather fierce . . . ahem . . . love and protection. It was she who had my head and hair fashioned into its current state, as it pleased her to see me that way—and woe be to anyone who displeases the pirate queen Cheng Shih, admiral of seven hundred ships and twenty thousand men. Since I cannot see the mark without twisting around in front of several mirrors held just so, I do not think about it much. Not that I dislike it, for it has come in handy at times in the past when I needed to go all exotic. But that was then, and this is now. So back to being a proper English maiden with you, girl. Yes, well, sort of proper . . . and, yes, well, sort of a maiden.
“The new hairpiece should sufficiently hide that lovely little piece of Oriental art from prying eyes.” Higgins sniffs. “Into the tub with you now.”
I rise, let the light robe I have been wearing slide from my shoulders, and I slip into the hot and lovely tub my good Higgins has procured for me. Ahhhhh . . . I know it took some doing, but Higgins does have his ways, as I have mine. ’Course we couldn’t have this when underway, because of the rolling and pitching and yawing, but here, with the well-named Tortoise tied securely to the dock, all the sloshing of the water in the tub is due solely to my writhing about in it in absolutely sinful, sensual pleasure. Ahhhhhh . . .
Higgins turns to lay out my clothes, and when out of his
Ah, Jaimy, where are you now? Oh, I know your dear body is on its way to Rangoon in the care of some very good Oriental friends of mine, but where are you in the way of your mind, your poor tortured soul? Have you cast out your demons and returned to some semblance of sanity? Have Charlie Chen’s doctors, with their mysterious potions and herbs, and Sidrah’s gentle words and touch brought you back from the edge of complete madness? Oh, how I wish I knew! Heavy sigh . . . But, I realize I shall not know, nor can I come to join you till this mission is over. “King George calls and we must obey,” as the song goes. Right . . . Obey, or else . . .
“Your lieutenant’s jacket, Miss?” asks Higgins.
“Yes, and the matching blue skirt, if you would, John, and my boots,” I add. I sink down a bit, such that my lips are below the surface, and blow bubbles in the now soapy water. Soon I’ve created a fine froth in front of my face. Now, if I were bathing in my lovely little copper-bound tub back on the Nancy B. Alsop—my beloved little sixty-five-foot Gloucester schooner—I’d be thinking of tossing one Joannie Nichols into this tub after I’d gotten out of it, but, alas, both she and the Nancy B. have been sent back to Boston.
But, Jacky, I don’t wanna go back to school!
You must, Joannie. It is for your own good that you become educated and refined.
Joannie Nichols was a fellow street urchin back in the days when I ran with the Rooster Charlie Gang in the Cheapside section of London, before I went off to sea. There’s still a lot of the street in both of us.
Refined, my Cockney ass! I wanna go with you!
You can’t, Joannie. I’m being sent on a tour of duty, and only Mr. Higgins can go with me. And furthermore, I don’t see that it’s gonna be all that much fun, anyway. So come on, don’t you want to see your gallant young Daniel Prescott again—the same lad whose face you covered with kisses before you ran off from the Lawson Peabody to stow away on the Nancy B.?
I suppose. But Mistress is gonna beat the hell out of me for taking off without permission.
Even though Mistress Pimm, headmistress of the Lawson Peabody School for Young Girls, no longer uses the rod that had been so often applied to my own poor backside when I attended that institution, her hairbrush does remain a formidable weapon.
Now, now, you shall suffer a bit, yes, but think of the joy you will have in regaling your sisters with tales of your recent adventures. Hmmm . . . ?
Yeah, I guess . . .
Good. Now give me a last hug and go below and change into your seagoing gear. They are about to throw off the lines. Study hard and be a good girl, and I will come back and we will go a-rovin’ again. I promise.
Yes, the Nancy B. Alsop did cast off, and with tears in my eyes, I watched her disappear over the horizon, taking with her some of my dearest and most faithful friends.
Goodbye, Tink, give my love and regards to everyone. Davy, my best to our dear Annie and I pray that all goes well with her. Fare thee well, Brother. And John Thomas and Finn McGee, my bold and strong sailor lads, be as good as you can be and stay out of trouble and teach the young ones what you know about the seafarin’ life . . .
Then, standing before me, my own sea dad, Liam Delaney, he who had crossed the world to save my poor wayward self. Goodbye, Father, may God go with you. My love to Mairead, and do not be too hard on Ian McConnaughey, for my sake, please. Here, let me wrap my arms about you and lay my head upon your broad chest one last time and . . . Oh, Liam, do be careful!
I pushed a bundle of letters into his hands, planted a kiss upon his cheek, and turned to . . .
Ravi. Goodbye, my beautiful little brown-eyed boy.
I had crouched down and put my hands on his shoulders.
When you get to Boston, Davy will take you to Mr. Pickering, and he will see that you will be set up in a good school and given warm lodging. Here is a letter for you to give to my good friend Ezra.
He took the letter and put it inside his jacket. We had bought for him several suits of European-style clothes, which should serve him well in his new home. Ravi was wearing one of those suits with a certain amount of pride, but those big brown eyes still welled up with tears.
This poor boy does not want to go away from Missy Memsahib.
I know, Ravi, I know, and I don’t want you to go away. But where I’m going, you can’t follow. Do you understand?
Great blinking of eyes . . . both his . . . and mine. Then he nodded and put his thin arms about my neck.
Steam lingers about my stateroom as Higgins begins to deck me out in my finest—first, the drawers with flounces about the knees and calves, then chemise and white shirt with lace at the throat and cuffs. I had wrung every bit of sensual enjoyment out of that tub, knowing full well it might prove to be the last real soaking the Faber frame shall have for a good long while, in that we are debarking today to join up with the British army somewhere in the interior of this war-torn country, and bathtubs are a rare commodity when on bivouac. I have been assigned by British Intelligence to the staff of General Arthur Wellesley, Commander of British Forces on the Iberian Peninsula, as translator of Spanish, French, and Portuguese. This was part of the deal that kept the tender necks of both Jaimy Fletcher and myself from being wrapped in their assigned nooses—me for General Larceny and High Crimes Against the Crown and Jaimy for roaring crazily around Blackheath robbing travelers on the broad highway south of London as the dread Black Highwayman. It is true that he was a bit off his nut when he did all that, but still, it took a bit of doing for me to gain him a pardon, which I did by convincing a rich Chinese merchant to bring valuable and mostly looted antiquities to donate to the British Museum, and then—oh, it’s all too much to think about. I’ll just let my biographer and very dear friend, Amy Trevelyne, sort it all out when she goes to put it down on paper, just as she has already done with my other adventures. For now, suffice to say that Jaimy is being taken on Chopstick Charlie’s ship to Rangoon to recover his senses.
Do not worry, Ju kau-jing yi. We will take care of him. We have potions . . . herbs . . . soothing medicines . . . He shall be fine when next you see him.
But nothing, my Little Round-Eyed Barbarian, just stop crying and go. We must leave now . . . The authorities are a bit agitated, you know . . .
. . . and I am being sent to the war zone to do my duty to Crown and Country. Hmmm . . . Perhaps Jaimy is getting the better deal. I well remember the charms of Charlie Chen’s palace in Burma—that turquoise pool, Mai Ling and Mai Ji . . . and Sidrah . . . Oh, well, enjoy, Jaimy, but maybe not too much . . .
I shake my head and I’m back in my stateroom on the Tortoise and Higgins is finishing up. He places the rump roll on the small of my back and attaches it with clips, and the blue skirt goes over that, cinched at my waist, and flowing down in pleats to the tops of my boot-clad feet. That roll thing has replaced the rather cumbersome bustle in female fashion and I rather like it—it adds a bit of jauntiness to my tail without getting in the way. And hey, if the lads find it pleasing to gaze upon a well-rounded female rump, well, then, I could use a little help in that regard, since I am still rather skinny, in spite of all the food I have put down my neck over the past few years.
“I wonder if the General has commandeered a house for his headquarters. Or is he working out of a tent?” I ask as Higgins adjusts my gear. Trust Jacky Faber to wonder what her future accommodations will be. She much prefers a cozy room to a drafty and often-damp tent. Oh, well, it is my nature to take what comes in the way of shelter, be it made of sturdy stone and plaster or sodden canvas.
“You shall not have to wonder for long, Miss. I have been informed that General Wellesley had a great victory at Rolica last week but does not want to push his luck, so he has sent his main force here to guard thi
There is a knock on the door.
“An army officer is asking for you, Miss. On the outer deck.”
“Thank you, Johnny. I’ll be right out.”
Higgins holds up my lieutenant’s jacket—all deep blue, with high collar and gold trim—and I thrust my arms through it and button up the front. There. All tight and trim, just the way I like it.
The blond wig goes on and is adjusted.
“Your hat, Miss?”
“I think my midshipman’s cap will serve. I look ridiculous in that lieutenant’s hat.”
“It does tend to overwhelm your rather small features, Miss,” agrees Higgins. “Your medals?”
“Just the Trafalgar. I don’t want to alarm the poor general.”
“Very well, Miss,” he says, taking the medal out of its box and looping the ribbon about my neck such that the silver medallion with the image of Lord Nelson struck on its gleaming surface rests upon my chest.
“Thank you, Higgins. Shall we go up?”
“You go, Miss,” says Higgins, opening the door for me. “I have some final packing to do.”
Cap on head, I go out into the corridor to find Midshipman Harrington standing at attention.
I place my hand upon his arm and say, “Lead me on, Johnny, my fine young sailor lad, lead me on.”
When we gain the deck and step out into the sunshine, I am very gratified to see Cavalry Captain Lord Richard Allen waiting for me, looking absolutely splendid in his scarlet regimentals—blazing red jacket with white turnouts and gold buttons, white trousers, black boots with spurs, and gold-braided shako on head. Ah, yes, every inch my bold dragoon!
“Good day, my lord,” I say, with a small curtsy. “It is so good to see you. I hope you passed a pleasant night?”
“Pleasant enough, Miss Faber,” says Richard Allen, looking pointedly at my hand, which still rests on the arm of my young escort. “Considering you were not by my side.”
L. A. MEYER SERIES:
Other author's books:
- Bloody JackUnder the Jolly RogerMississippi JackViva Jacquelina!In the Belly of the BloodhoundThe Mark of the Golden DragonRapture of the DeepWild Rover No MoreMy Bonny Light HorsemanCurse of the Blue Tattoo
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