Knot Your Problem: Pack Origins Book 2, page 18
She waved her hands around wildly in the treehouse’s direction. “That is a gorgeous, house in a tree. That’s a completely different thing.”
She stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at me accusingly.
“You’re seriously underestimating your mates if you thought it was going to be a shoddy little kiddy thing,” I said. “They do nothing by halves.”
“I can’t wait to see inside. Meet you at the top,” Maia yelled as she bolted up the stairs.
“I’m going to carry this tray up the stairs like a regular person, but have at it.” I yelled back at her. I watched Maia disappear with a smile.
“It’s nice seeing her so happy and carefree,” Ava said, echoing exactly what I was thinking. She had been so shut down, yet determined to survive her fate with her head held high when I met her. Seeing this relaxed, fun side of her made my heart happy. Finding her pack had clearly been good for her.
When we reached the top, Maia had only made it as far as the deck. She was standing at the railing, taking in the expansive view.
“This is gorgeous. I bet it’s stunning at night, too.” She let out a soft sigh as she turned back to us. “I love the old barn door as well.”
I passed her the plate to hold and slid it open for her. She wandered inside, exclaiming over the timber interior and all the natural light. She ran her hand over the kitchen cabinets, loving the duck-egg blue color. Ava followed behind her, taking it all in with a quieter appreciation.
“You’ve got a kitchen and everything you could need in here. Why the hell are you living down in that tiny cabin, cute as it is, when you could be up here?” Maia asked.
I just shrugged, but Maia didn’t notice. She’d already spun away, trying to take everything in. I grabbed the plate back from her before she dropped it.
“What’s up there?” Ava asked, pointing to the stairs.
“A loft bedroom. There’s an A-frame ceiling with a skylight and an enormous picture window at the end. It’s beautiful. It has mattresses and blankets all over the floor, so it’s comfy too.”
“It sounds heavenly,” Ava said sweetly.
I was suddenly uncomfortable, feeling like I should offer to show it to them, but I really didn’t want anyone up there. Especially other omegas.
“It’s okay,” Maia said as she touched my arm gently, suddenly serious. “I get it. We can stay down here.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled, feeling grateful for these two women. “Dio thinks I unconsciously designed this place as a pack house, complete with a nest for myself.”
“Did you?” Ava asked quietly, like she was trying not to spook me. For a good little omega princess, she seemed to be endlessly curious about packs, heats, and nests. Everything the Palace said was illegal or had forced into extinction. I didn’t know if it was her natural instincts coming through or something else.
I shrugged, trying to sort through the barrage of feelings that were bombarding me right now. “We intended it as a hangout pad when we built it, but the guys have never spent much time here. It never occurred to me that I could live up here. It didn’t feel right somehow, or didn’t feel right yet? I don’t know,” I said as I sighed in frustration, staring at the plate in my hand as if it had all the answers. It was a lot of pressure to put on bacon.
Everything had felt so easy, like it fell naturally into place with Dio. But I’d been away from him for five minutes and now I was getting antsy. I suddenly wanted a hug from him in the worst way. It was disconcerting. I’d been so independent and self contained for years. Keeping everyone at arm’s length for fear of triggering something in me. Now, suddenly, I felt like I needed him near or I couldn’t breathe right.
Maia slid her hand down my arm to grab my other hand. “Here, let’s sit and we can talk it out.”
I followed her and put the plate on the timber coffee table before I plonked down on one of the comfy couches in the living area.
“Is this the same couch as in the guys’ cabin?” Maia asked, running her hands over the soft sage colored leather.
“Yeah, they had their u-shape couch custom made to fit the sunken living room in their cabin, and their size. I liked it too. So they got a few three seaters to put up here at the same time.”
With the green couch and the blue kitchen bringing all the colors from outside, inside, it made the tree house feel even more open.
I grabbed a hash brown for comfort as Maia snuggled into my side while munching on some bacon. Ava sat on my other side on the floor at my feet and helped herself too. She froze when Bear plonked himself down almost on her feet, but he just looked from her to the bacon and back again.
Ava grabbed some off the plate and held it out to him hesitantly. He grabbed it with his teeth so gently and delicately, avoiding her fingers, that she relaxed. He bumped her leg with his giant head in thanks and promptly fell asleep snuggled against her, making her smile.
Being here with these two women felt nice. It felt right. I’d spent a lot of time around women but I’d never really hung out with any outside my work. I had a feeling both of these women were going to become important to me. There was a kinship there that was instinctive and would only grow with time. I really needed to stop repressing everything and closing myself off if I was going to get their help.
I took a deep breath as Maia prompted, “Talk to us.” She seemed concerned at my silence, which was funny considering she mostly just shrugged at us when she first arrived here.
“It’s just, I honestly had myself convinced I was a beta. I had the rest of the world convinced too, so I must have done a good job. Yet the moment I met Sam and Dio, everything changed. It felt like this tsunami of need and want threatened to spill out of me. I felt a pull to both of them instantly, but we were in the middle of a fight with you at gunpoint.
“Then I smelled that scent that had haunted me, and it was so much stronger. I panicked, and I tried to shut it down, but for the first time, I couldn’t. It was too potent. I had to use your trick of hurting myself so I didn’t start a frenzy.”
“Sam and Dio?” Ava asked. “I remember they both spun towards you during the fight the second you spoke. Does Sam feel the same way as Dio?”
I froze. “Shit, I need to shut up today.”
I couldn’t look directly at Maia, but she sat forward slightly to search my face.
“Why would you try to hide that?” She asked, tilting her head, seeming to be genuinely confused.
“Well, he’s your brother, for starters,” I shrugged.
“Yeah, and Leif is yours. It doesn’t mean I’m going to hold back and not talk to you about him. I distinctly remember grilling you about all my guys when we had movie night, and they all consider themselves your brother.”
I smiled at the memory. She’d not long arrived at the farm. I’d been sussing her out, feeling protective, knowing how my brother had instantly reacted to her. She’d been so sweet and open, yet so obviously lonely. Her quiet inner strength had called to something within me. I’d ended up all but adopting her as my sister before the night was out.
My smile fell a little as I thought back to Sam and my conflicted feelings for him. Dio had felt like a warm hug from the first moment, but something about Sam had me on alert. Bear felt it too. I wasn’t afraid of Sam, but I could sense he was on the precipice of something explosive. He felt unpredictable, like a wild card.
Sam and I were both complicated and hot-blooded, plus I was impulsive. I worried if we started something and unknowingly pushed each other’s buttons, I’d push him over whatever edge he was balancing on.
“Sam is so full of rage, yet despite how much dominance he leaks, he’s so contained. Was he like that as a kid?” I asked Maia.
Maia’s smile fell, too. “No. Sam was fiercely loyal, protective, and generous with himself. He looked after me even before my mom disappeared, when he was little more than a kid himself. He was a lot like Leif like that. Sam always put Ben and I first, making sure we were fed and tucked in safely at night. He even went without, giving us his own food when there wasn’t enough. He was our shield against the world.”
Maia was staring blankly out the window, lost in her memories for a moment.
“Yet he disappeared without a word when you were still a kid. Did he explain why?” I wasn’t there when Sam arrived and I hadn’t found out what he said to Maia when he showed up. The intruders had struck just after he arrived, then Maia had gone into heat.
Maia didn’t answer immediately, as she slumped back down onto the couch next to me. Her fingers fidgeted restlessly with the buttons on the long cardigan she was wearing over a cute floral mini dress, as if she was considering her words.
“I’m sorry to push.” Maia’s conflicted emotions were clear on her face. “I just sense there’s trauma there now. That guarded look he wears, that says he’s trying desperately not to unleash his damage on other people. I’ve seen that before. I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m worried I will without meaning to if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.”
Maia flicked her gaze at me and nodded. “He seemed shocked that I thought he disappeared without a trace. He said he wrote letters and sent money, and Dio backed him up, but I never saw any. We didn’t get time to talk about the details, about why he left and where he was that left all that darkness. He just said he had no choice.”
She blew out a long breath and scoffed lightly. “To be honest, I’m being a coward. I’m so relieved he’s here. Part of me always believed he’d be back one day, but I’m avoiding talking to him about why he left. I’m scared that his answer won’t be enough and I don’t want to be disappointed or angry. I just want my brother back.”
Maia stared straight at me now and I could see that core of steel she hid so well. “That damage. I can see it too and I want it gone from his eyes. If you’re his mate, I’m hoping you can help me with that.”
Our gazes stayed locked for a moment until I gave her a small nod. I didn’t know how I could help, but I’d face his monsters if I had to. For Maia, and for Sam.
Maia sat up again and seemed to shake herself mentally, giving a rueful smile as she reached for some more bacon. Bear perked his head up and she threw him a piece.
“As for omega training, Lex, you don’t need it,” she said. “The Palace tries to break omegas and train them to be submissive, because when left alone to develop naturally, we’re not really submissive at all. Except maybe in the bedroom.” She gave me a quick, cheeky wink.
My smile bloomed in response to hers. She had that effect on people. “I hear you, but how am I supposed to know if I’m doing things wrong with Dio? How do I know what he needs? I don’t know how any of this works and instincts will only get me so far. Part of me is a little worried I’m going to break this perfect thing we’ve just thrown ourselves into blindly.”
She reached out and touched my arm gently. “There’s really no right or wrong way to do this. All alphas and omegas are instinctive creatures. Your instincts have kept you alive, Lex. You may have repressed the obvious signs you were an omega, but I think your omega instincts have always been there. The same as mine. It’s what makes you so empathetic to people and helps you recognize when someone’s in trouble. So listen to your instincts. It’s your time. You’ve got this.”
I sat for a moment quietly, just taking in what she said. It made sense.
“She’s right,” Ava said, breaking the silence in a way I was coming to realize was typical of Ava. She said little, but when she did, she’d thought it out and said it with utter conviction.
“The Palace wasn’t the safe space for omegas they made people believe. They’ve twisted the natural instincts of alphas and omegas. To the point where we’re dying out. Yet still they persist for their own power.”
“Wow,” Maia said, with her mouth hanging open slightly, “and here I thought you were a Palace princess, that you’d bought the fake fairytale. I was honestly worried about you coming up to your debut,” Maia said, looking a little surprised.
Ava just grinned, and it was like a curtain lifted and we got to peek at the magic that flourished in the shadows. It was illuminating.
“No, I just rebelled in my own way. I made them think I was the perfect princess, so they mostly left me alone. I never intended to make my debut, though.”
“Wow, you had me fooled. Do I even know you at all?” Maia asked, looking at Ava as if she’d never seen her before.
Ava looked upset at the question, a frown marring her gorgeous features. “Of course you do. I was only ever myself around you in the brief moments we got together in the library. You were my lifeline in there, and I didn’t want to ruin it by talking about things we couldn’t do anything about at that point.
“Besides, I didn’t want to risk saying anything because I couldn’t be sure no-one was listening, even in the library. There was too much at stake for both of us.”
Maia’s eyes raked over Ava, looking for signs of deception. All I got from Ava, though, was sincerity, and a little distress at upsetting her friend. I held my breath, the moment feeling fraught, but Maia relaxed finally on a deep sigh and nodded at Ava.
“I believe you. That place twisted us all, but you were my lifeline, too. We’re circling back to this whole ‘rebelling in my own way’ thing later, though.” Maia made a circling motion with her finger and narrowed her eyes at Ava. Ava looked relieved and bent her head to pat Bear, the dark curtain of her hair falling over her face, as if she needed a moment.
Maia and I glanced at each other. There was a lot there we needed to dig up. Ava, it seemed, was a dark horse in the perfect sweet disguise. Before we could bombard her with a million questions, she carried on, as if we’d never deviated down an intriguing path.
“Anyway, you don’t need omega training. You’ve built something amazing here, helped so many women. Maia’s right. You’ve been following your instincts for a long time. You just need to trust yourself, and us, now. We’ve got you,” Ava said with a quiet dignity.
I was deeply humbled by the strength and grace of these two women who had been through so much, yet were here taking care of me. Instead of resenting the way I avoided being sent to the Palace, the way they were. They were championing me. Making sure they had my crown fixed firmly on my head.
I leaned forward and grabbed both of their hands, feeling lighter. “Thank you.”
“No thanks needed, Lexie. I’m in total awe of you. I’d love to count you as a friend,” Ava said, making me blush a little.
“Already done,” I said.
Maia shrugged. “I’m not that easy. Payment will be required in cookies. I heard you make the world’s best chocolate chip cookie, Lex. I’m going to need a taste test to see if the guy’s claim stands up.”
I sighed. “I would love to make you some cookies, but I don’t know if we have any chocolate chips left, or vanilla extract. These are the things that we’re going to run out of, if we haven’t already. Things that we don’t grow on the farm.”
The thought of how much we still needed to figure out in order to survive if the electricity never came back was sobering. Not that chocolate chips would help us survive, but there were plenty of things that we would need long term that we didn’t have here and couldn’t grow. The problem had been gnawing at me and was taking up increasing space in my brain.
Plus, what about the people out there who didn’t have as much as we did as a starting point? How the hell were they surviving? I’d been part of the wider community before the Crash. I hadn’t isolated myself on the farm as much as the guys had. There were people I was worried about out there, particularly in the small town down the road.
“No! I refuse to live in a world without chocolate chip cookies.” Maia’s outburst jolted me out of my short reverie. She was looking at me in growing horror, as if she’d been waiting on me to solve the problem while my mind wandered.
“We’re going to have to figure that one out. Apocalypse be damned. I can do without a lot of things, but chocolate is not one of them,” Maia said passionately.
Ava and I burst out laughing. “I’m serious,” she said indignantly.
“She is,” Ava piped in. “We didn’t get a lot of sweet stuff at the palace. They were pretty strict about our diets. Maia used to squirrel chocolate away whenever she discovered it, and hide it in the library behind dusty old books.”
Maia moaned as if she was remembering the taste. “I’m an idiot. It’s an apocalypse, and I left all that delicious chocolate behind. We’re going to have to go back and rescue the chocolate… I mean omegas. We’re absolutely going back to rescue the omegas.”
Ava laughed lightly at Maia, the sound clear and sweet.
“We’ll figure it out,” I said, as I patted Maia on the shoulder. The omegas were a whole other problem to solve. There was no way I was leaving them there at the Palace at the mercy of the assholes running it.
“What about Dave? Where does he fit in?” Maia looked pointedly at me as she said his name, but I ignored it, pretending to look at my fingernails innocently. As if I was checking out my non-existent manicure. They weren’t having a bar of that, though.
“Yeah, I’d like to know about Dave too. If a man as hot as Dave looked at me like he does you, I’d melt,” Ava said.
Maia and I both gaped at Ava incredulously. Maia spluttered something unintelligible and Ava looked at us with her eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Uh, Cary?” was all I could get out.
Ava blushed furiously. “He’s not interested in me like that. He’s my friend. Besides, he’s an omega. Omegas don’t mate with other omegas.”
“Girl, you cannot be that naïve. He watches you like he’d die if you so much as got a split end in your hair. That man is gone for you,” I said.
Maia finally found her voice again. “Besides all that, who decided two omegas can’t be together? Not us. Lex and I are breaking all kinds of rules. What’s one more?”
Ava looked sad for a moment as she played with the bracelet on her wrist. I noticed she did that a lot whenever we talked about Cary. “It’s complicated. I can’t go there, but I don’t want to get into why right now. Besides, he’s protective and a little intense, but he’s never made any kind of move on me. Sure, he stays close, up to a point, but he’s never even touched my hand. He keeps a certain distance as if there’s a force field around me.”
