Sex, Murder and a Double Latte, page 23
I checked the answering machine. Two messages. The first was Leah. “Sophie, pick up, it’s me. Sophie? Fine. Fine. Don’t pick up. Sophie, I need you. Bob’s just being horrible and I think…just call me, okay?”
Bob was being horrible? Bob was always horrible—she had never seemed bothered by it before. I almost called her back without listening to the second message, but the machine was too fast for me.
“Hi, it’s me.” Anatoly’s Russian voice filled the room.
I stood completely still as I listened to the rest of the recording. “I was hoping we could talk. I’ll be out most of the evening, but you can call me on my cellular.”
I forgot about Leah. I looked at the door and assured myself that it was double locked. But there was still the window. If he climbed in through my window and killed me, I was going to sue my landlord.
He was out there somewhere, waiting for me to call and tell him I was home. Or was he? Maybe not. Maybe he was in my apartment right now. I grabbed the phone in one hand and found a knife for the other. I slowly made my way through the apartment. No one seemed to be there, not in the shower or under the bed. Of course, there were the closets to consider. That presented a dilemma, because to open a closet I had to either put down my only means of communication with the outside world or drop my weapon. I opted to put down the phone, since the outside world had been of so little help lately. Nobody in the closets. That was good. But what if he was across the street and looking into my apartment right now? I quickly turned off all the lights. What next? I should peek through the bay window and try to spot him.
I slammed my shin into the coffee table and almost killed my cat, but I did eventually make it to my destination. There were a few people walking around, but no Anatoly that I could see. I sat down Indian-style on the Pergo floor. If he had been telling me the truth about the Israeli and Russian armies then he was well trained in the art of combat. He would bide his time, study his target, preferably without its knowing, formulate an efficient plan, and only then would he attack. If he had been watching me, he would have been clued into my awareness the minute I turned off the lights without leaving. He wouldn’t be hanging out on the street waiting for me to see him.
But I wasn’t the only person that lived in this building. Someone else could have seen him. What was it he had asked me about on our first date? He had wanted to know if I spoke to my neighbors. I stumbled to the door and rushed downstairs to Theresa’s apartment. She answered on the third knock.
“You may not use my phone.”
“I don’t want to use your phone, I just want to ask you a few quick questions.”
“No.” She started to close the door, but I put my hand out to stop her.
“I’ll be quick. I just want to know if you’ve seen a tall guy with dark hair around here lately. If he spoke you might have noticed an accent.”
“Your new boyfriend? Yes, I’ve seen him.” She started to close the door again, but this time I put both hands out.
“When?”
“Take your hands off my door.”
“Just answer the questions and I’ll go away.”
“For how long?”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Theresa.” I transferred more of my weight into the struggle. “I don’t know—for at least a month, how ’bout that? You answer my questions and I won’t so much as look at your door for a month.”
“Until recently I was able to avoid speaking to you for months at a time.”
I was going to kill her, just put my hands around her neck and kill her. But I could wait until she answered the questions. “Fine, I won’t speak to you for one year. If the building catches fire, I promise I won’t so much as knock on your door to warn you.”
“I saw the two of you getting on his motorcycle when I was looking for parking, and then I saw him leaving your apartment Wednesday morning.”
Wednesday morning? I had been at Dena’s Wednesday morning. “You saw him leaving my apartment?”
“I’ll answer your questions, but I refuse to repeat myself.”
I closed my eyes. It might be easier to get through this if I didn’t have to look at her. “Did you actually see him coming out the door of my apartment?”
“No, I bumped into him on the stairs when I was coming back from my morning run.”
“When was this?”
“Wednesday morning.”
“What time?”
“I don’t know.” She tapped her finger against the thin line that constituted her lips. “I usually start my run around five-fifteen, so it would have been a little after six. Are we through now?”
“Yes, yes, we’re through.” Theresa closed the door and this time I put my hand on it for balance. “I am definitely through.”
I arrived at P.J.’s at ten after eight. Marcus wasn’t there yet, but for some reason Dena and Jason were. Dena waved me over to the table, and I obediently approached.
“Where the hell have you been?” she asked. “I haven’t heard from you in ages.”
“We talked yesterday.” I tried not to stare, but she was wearing an off-the-shoulder top that was displaying two rather large marks on her neck. Maybe Jason was a vampire.
“A day is an eternity when someone is out there trying to kill you.”
“You’re right, I’ll try to… You know what, I’m sorry, but shouldn’t you be wearing a turtleneck or something?”
Dena ran a hand over her neck. “What, because of the love bites? Why would I want to hide them? They speak to the effectiveness of the products that I sell. In this case Erotic Peach flavored oil. I have some more little bruises on my inner thighs but they’re more difficult to show off.”
“That’s where you wore the Piña Colada,” Jason said. “I think I liked the Erotic Peach the best, though.”
“Better than the Piña Colada? Huh. The last guy…customer—my last guy customer said that he liked Piña Colada best.”
Jason straightened in his chair. “He tasted it in the store?”
“I’m here to meet Marcus.” What the hell, I owed Dena a favor, and changing the subject was easy in this case.
“Really?” Dena said. “Shit, it’s been months since I’ve seen Marcus. You guys should join us.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”
“Give me a break. Would I invite you to sit down if you were interrupting?”
I looked over at Jason, who was making a noble attempt to shake off his irritation over Dena’s erotic-oil–tasting customers. “Jason, you sure that would be okay?” I noted that this was the first time I had seen him wearing normal clothes. Jeans and a white T-shirt. It must be a special occasion.
“Yes, join us.” He managed a smile. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you anyway.”
I lowered myself into an empty seat. “Okay, you’ve got me curious now.”
“I understand that you suspected me of murdering Barbie and stalking you.”
I sat there slack-jawed until I was able to pull it together enough to narrow my eyes at Dena, who was sinking into her chair.
“Hey, there’s no need to be embarrassed. You don’t know me, and you obviously had to consider all your possibilities. To be honest, I’m flattered.”
“You’re flattered?” Again I looked over at Dena, who was now barely visible over the tabletop.
“Yeah, it shows that I have an air of mystery about me, that people see me as someone who is on the edge, daring and just a little dangerous, you know?”
Well, that was almost right. I was sure most people must think of Jason as being on the brink of going over the edge. “Dena tells me you were at a job orientation when Barbie was killed.”
Now it seemed to be Jason’s turn to get smaller. “Yeah, I was… And I was at my sister’s wedding when JJ Money was killed. I’ve never been to New York, but I plan on going—the vampire scene there is supposed to—”
“What’s the new job?”
Dena became very absorbed in her beverage while Jason became fascinated with the design of the flatware.
“Okay, come on. How embarrassing can it be? Your girlfriend sells Gummi penises.”
“Yeah, I, um, I got a sales job.”
“All right, that’s a start. Where’s the sales job?”
Silence.
“Jason, where’s the sales job?”
“Gap.”
“Gap?”
“He’s not selling out.” Dena spit an ice cube back into her drink. “It’s only temporary.”
“So he’s temporarily selling out.”
“I really needed dental insurance,” he whispered.
“Dental insurance?” I crossed my arms in front of me and thought about that. “Do vampires visit the dentist?”
“Dena!” I turned to see Marcus standing behind me. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Marcus, darling!” She offered her cheek for his kiss. “This is Jason.”
“Hi, Jason.” Marcus leaned down and studied Dena’s neck. “Jason, did you do this?”
“She was wearing Erotic Peach oil.”
“Erotic Peach, huh? I always preferred the Piña Colada.”
“Oh, you must be the guy customer.” Jason exhaled a sigh of relief, and Dena discreetly signaled for Marcus not to question it.
“Jason has a thing for necks,” I said. “He’s a vampire. He also works at Gap.”
“Really?” Marcus gave Jason an approving nod. “How fabulous that they’re equal-opportunity employers. So, did you invite Dena and Jason so we could all put our heads together and figure out how to get the goods on psycho boy?”
“Is that why you two are meeting?” asked Dena. “To get the goods on Anatoly? Damn it, Sophie, why didn’t you call and tell me?”
I cast a sideways glance in Jason’s direction.
“I’ve checked every one of his alibis.” She ticked off her points of research on her fingers. “I have proof of the date of his sister’s wedding, that he was there, and, unfortunately, he really was at the orientation at Gap.”
It wasn’t that I still suspected Jason, I just wasn’t sure I wanted to share my life with a super freak. He leaned over and patted my hand. “Nothing will leave this table. I swear on the Vampire Chronicles.”
How incredibly reassuring. But time was of the essence, so what the hell. I took a deep breath and went over everything, from my conversation with DC Smooth to my exchange with Theresa.
“So there you have it. Anatoly is planning on killing me, the police are convinced that Mark Baccon is the guilty party, I have nothing to convince them otherwise, and I have completely run out of options. We might as well call this what it is, a little impromptu farewell dinner party. Marcus, I want you to have my CD collection, and Dena, you can have Mr. Katz.”
Dena took a sip of her wine. “Mary Ann can have the cat.”
“Well, gee, thanks for your sympathy and support.”
“You know I don’t do well with defeatism.” Dena tapped her heel under the table. “We need some more background on Anatoly. You thought he was a contractor, that gallery guy thought he was an insurance salesman. What does Shannon Tolsky think he is?”
“I don’t know.” I lowered my head. “I didn’t think to ask.”
“Uh-huh. How many murder mysteries have you written?”
Marcus shook his head. “Okay, it’d be nice to hear what Miss Hollywood has to say about all this, but we’re not going to get any evidence that way.”
“I agree,” Jason said. “This person has already broken into her place once that we know of. She can’t be fucking around doing interviews right now.”
Marcus slammed his hand on the table. “That’s it!”
We all looked at him expectantly.
“Don’t you people get it? We have to break into his place. That’s where the evidence is. That’s the only place it would be.”
Everyone was speechless for a moment until I found my voice. “Um, no.”
“Why not?”
“Because, it’s a felony, for one,” Dena said. “And two, we are dealing with a homicidal maniac. Don’t you think he might get a little pissed if he finds us in his apartment? It might be safer for Sophie to steal money from the mob and try to make a new life for herself in Brooklyn.”
Jason swirled the wine around in his glass. “I don’t think anything Sophie does could put her in more danger than she’s already in.”
“But I’m a writer, not a burglar. I wouldn’t even know how to break into his place if I wanted to, and I definitely do not want to.”
“You don’t have to, I’ll do it,” Marcus offered.
Dena grunted. “Great, have your hairstylist break in. No reason to be concerned about that.”
“Don’t underestimate me. I broke into a few places when I was a teenager trying to be a delinquent so I could distract myself from my Barbra Streisand obsession.” He toyed with one of his locks. “Didn’t get caught once.”
I shook my head. “This won’t work.”
“It could,” Jason said, “we just need to plan it well.”
Dena put her glass back on the table with enough force to cause the wine to slosh over the sides. “Jason, you need to shut up. This is not one of your vampire games. This is Sophie’s life. We need to be logical.”
“I am being logical. We’ll need two people to break into Anatoly’s place.”
Marcus shook his head. “One would be more discreet.”
“But two could search the place in half the time, and time might be a big factor. We’ll also need someone to keep Anatoly occupied for a while.”
Marcus smiled appreciatively. “Good point. Dena, you always pick the smart ones. A little weird, but always very smart.”
Dena scoffed. “Nothing about this is smart. Tell me, Jason, which one of us do you think should be given the honor of keeping the serial killer occupied?”
Both Marcus and Jason looked at me.
Dena practically leaped out of her chair. “What the fuck are you people thinking? Maybe you two haven’t been listening so I’m going to repeat a few key facts here and I’m going to use real simple words so you both can absorb this. Anatoly is trying to kill Sophie. Anatoly is a big strong guy. Sophie is not. We are not going to set little Sophie up on a date with her big burly would-be assailant. That’s it. End of story.”
“We’ll have a guard,” Jason offered. “I’ll do it. I’ll be her undercover bodyguard. She can meet him in a public place and I’ll be there the whole time.”
“N. O. No!”
“Dena, maybe they’re right.”
Dena looked like she was about to stab me with her fork, but I continued before she had a chance to attack. “I can’t live like this anymore. Every moment of every day I’m wondering if it’s my last. This could totally blow up in my face. In fact, there’s a good chance of it. But maybe that’s a gamble I have to take. You don’t have to help me.” I looked around the table. “None of you has to help me. I guess, if need be, I can break in myself. People a lot less educated than I am do it every day, so how hard can it be, right?” Nobody laughed. I rearranged the remaining food on my plate. “I have to do something. And this, well, this is definitely something.”
Marcus smiled and reached over to stroke my hair. “It was my idea, honey. Of course I’ll help.”
“And I already said I’d be your guard,” said Jason.
Dena inhaled through her gritted teeth. “This is a very bad idea.” She studied me for a long time. I met her gaze and waited for her refusal. Finally, she looked away and slumped back into her chair. “Oh, what the fuck. If we’re going to go to prison we should all go together. It’ll be more fun that way.”
I threw my arms around her neck. “I love you, I do.” I turned to Marcus and gave him a hug too. “I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve you two. And Jason…” I released Marcus and smiled at Jason. “I don’t even know what to say about you. I tried to convince your girlfriend that you were psychotic, and now you’re putting everything on the line to help me.”
“Hey, don’t mention it. How can I ever expect to be chosen for immortality if I don’t exhibit the willingness to take risks?”
I didn’t really know what to do with that so I just kept smiling.
“All right, enough of the sentimental bullshit.” Dena picked up the wine bottle and divided its remnants amongst our glasses. “Let’s get a game plan together. We have a felony to commit.”
CHAPTER 18
“It’s amazing how brave a person can be when her life depends on it.”
—Sex, Drugs and Murder
I accepted Dena’s offer to spend the night at her place, but only after I badgered her into agreeing to take in Mr. Katz as well. For some reason, Mr. Katz wasn’t grateful for my protectiveness and expressed his annoyance by peeing in Dena’s linen closet, thus ensuring Mary Ann’s inheritance. The three of us somehow managed to set our differences aside long enough to huddle up on the couch and put the first part of the plan into effect. Dena handed me the phone, and I dialed Anatoly’s number.
“Hello?”
I wanted to speak. I really did. But speaking required breathing, and as soon as I heard his voice my throat constricted, making either activity an impossibility.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
Dena slapped me on the back so hard I almost fell off the couch. “Hello, hi, Anatoly, it’s me.”
“Sophie. You got my message.”
“Yeah, yeah I got it.” I shifted as Dena pressed her ear up against the other side of the receiver. “I’m glad you called. Um, I was hoping…I was hoping we could meet somewhere and talk.”
“I’d like that.”
That was it. No, “why would I want to meet with someone who just recently threatened me with a butcher knife?” just “I’d like that.” Dena shook her head. If either of us had any doubts about his guilt, they had just flown out the window.
“Do you want to meet now?”
“What? No!” I grabbed Dena’s arm. “Anatoly, it’s late and I’ve had a long day, but…but maybe tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow night’s fine. What time?”
Dena and I simultaneously exhaled. “Well, I have dinner plans with family tomorrow, but we could meet afterward, like at ten-thirty at Baja Cantina?”
