Cards of Love: Death, page 5
“Show me what?”
“The life I can offer you.” He looks around the room. “Tonight, it’s Paris. Tomorrow, Vienna? Rome? Tokyo? Wherever you’d like. Every single night. Forever.”
“Okay, so you’re not gloating. You’re bribing.”
He exhales. “Tannis...”
“You pretend to know me so well but you obviously don’t. If you did, you’d know that I’m not this shallow,” I say.
“I wouldn’t dream of saying you are. In fact, I think quite highly of you.”
“Then why pull the fancy billionaire routine if you think so highly of me?” I ask.
His jaw flexes briefly. “You know what, you’re right,” he says. “This was misguided.”
“Thank you.” I glare around the restaurant, still feeling painfully annoyed.
“Tannis.”
My eyes flick in his direction. “What?” I ask.
He studies my face with soft, pensive eyes. “May I ask you a question? It’s personal.”
I bite my cheek in hesitation. “Fine,” I say.
Ari leans forward slightly, his gaze never straying far from mine. “Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? One?”
“Is this a job interview now?”
He doesn’t answer. He sits still, waiting for a response.
I exhale hard, giving in. “College,” I answer. “Grad school, maybe.”
“What would you study?”
“Psychology,” I say, feeling foolish. “I thought it’d be nice to help people.” I scoff. “No wonder my parents didn’t want me going. There was no point in throwing away money on a degree their daughter would never use.”
“Or, perhaps, they thought to wait out for a better teacher,” he says.
“Who? You?”
“Yes,” he says. “What if I told you that you had the entirety of the world’s knowledge at your fingertips? Every fact, every text. Everything you could ever dream to learn was right there waiting for you? And not only that, you had eternity to pick through it bit-by-bit. Would you like that?”
“Sounds nice but it’s not the same,” I say.
“Why not?”
“Because...” I shake my head. “It’s not just knowledge, Ari. It’s experience. I wanted to go away to school and make friends and skip classes and go to parties and all that stuff.”
“That stuff doesn’t matter.”
“It does in the moment,” I argue. “I wanted to carve my place in the world. To earn it. To find myself — just like everybody else does.”
“And you’re sad now that you think you can’t?”
“Sad?” I repeat. “No, I’m not sad. I’m pissed off.”
“Why?”
“Because—” I bite down. “For twenty years, people have told me that I could be anything I wanted to be. Teachers, books, every goddamn movie told me that if I really wanted to be something, I could do it. Just believe in yourself, Tannis, and the world is yours. Now, I come to find out that... they were never even talking to me.” I swallow hard. “It would have been goddamn nice to know earlier that my life has no purpose.”
Ari’s face shadows with sympathy. “You think your life serves no purpose?” he asks.
I look at the table instead of answering.
“Tannis,” he says, his voice soothing, “I have seen with my own eyes what a life without purpose looks like and I can tell you, with great confidence, that you are wrong.”
“And what purpose do I serve, Ari?” I ask. “Your playmate?”
“You think that’s why I chose you?”
“Why else?” My eyes sting with tears. “Isn’t that why we’re here? Because you want to get into my pants?”
“If that’s what I wanted, I would have taken it a long time ago,” he says.
“Then what do you want?” I ask him. “Please. Just out with it already. What do you want from me?”
Ari slowly fixes his jawline for a moment as a server pauses beside our table. I sit back and they rest a small plate between us full of snails and brilliant green garnish.
“Escargots a la Bourguignonne,” she says with a wink.
As they leave, I fix my stare on Ari again and he smiles.
“Bon appetit, Tannis,” he says, refusing me an answer.
Chapter 6
We spend the ride home in near total silence and yet, somehow, I miss exactly how we made it home at all. One moment, the streets were unfamiliar and wild and the next turn, we were back in Ohio. Perhaps I should have been more grateful for the opportunity. Tonight was the first time I’ve ever been out of state, let alone the damn continent.
Ari never did answer my question. His refusal lingers in the back of my mind like an ominous cloud. He wants something from me, something more than my body. What else do I have that’s any value to a man like him?
The car comes to a stop in my driveway and Ari immediately opens his door. I don’t dawdle, quickly sliding over to follow him out. He closes the door behind me and we walk side-by-side up to my front porch.
Ari looks at his watch and smiles. “Nine fifty-five,” he reads aloud. “Home at a decent hour, as promised.”
I nod, looking down. “I’m sure my parents will appreciate that.”
“I’ll return tomorrow,” he says. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Tannis.”
“I’ll try,” I say.
I reach for the knob but he takes it first. I flinch, startled by the sudden movement as his smile curls for the first time since the restaurant.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he asks.
I lower my hand. “What?”
His brow piques. “You agreed to a kiss after each date.”
My breath catches. “Oh, right...”
I lock my knees and tilt slightly to face him. I stand in place and close my eyes, teetering on the edge of nerves as I wait for him to get it over with.
Ari chuckles. “Tannis.”
I open my eyes. “Go ahead.”
“The deal was for you to kiss me,” he says, his voice low and playful.
My heart pounds. I’ve never kissed a boy before. I always thought he’d make that move first, whoever my first kiss would be.
What do I do? Where do I put my hands? How does the tongue thing work?
Ari takes a step closer and I tense up. “Relax,” he whispers. “Wet your lips. Part them slightly.”
Oh, god. He knows.
He knows I have no friggin’ clue what I’m doing.
I do as he says, gently rolling my tongue between my lips.
“You’ll have to get a little closer than this,” he says, that playful tone teasing out.
My ankles jitter as I slide my sandals forward, tapping toes with his shiny, black shoes. He towers over me by at least another head and he tilts down to bring his lips closer.
“You can keep your eyes open if you like,” he says. “Until you’re used to it.”
If I weren’t so damn nervous, I’d be more annoyed by that comment. As if I’d do this more than the three times I’m required to.
I take one more deep breath as I tilt my head a little. That’s what people do, right? Tilt their head to the side to keep the noses from bonking?
“Tannis,” Ari says, “kiss me.”
I push onto my toes to bridge the rest of the gap between us. My entire body shakes, each second feeling longer than the last.
Finally, our mouths touch. My eyes snap tightly closed as I linger in place against his cold lips. Instinct takes hold of me and my lips purse, gently caressing his and sparking a warm bolt of lightning through my tongue. The feeling stays with me like a wisp of smoke traveling down my throat and wrapping around my heart like a warm ribbon.
I ease back to break the kiss. “What is that?” I ask, fear entering my voice.
“Shh,” is all Ari says as his palms cup my face and he kisses me back.
My pulse quickens even more as his icy touch thaws against my burning hot skin. I part my lips, seduced a little deeper, and he slowly coaxes them to move with this.
But still, fear settles in my gut. My lungs lurch for air. My eyes burn with tears. That warm ribbon grips my heart tighter and tighter but I’m far too powerless in his hands.
Somehow, I pull away from his grip. My back slams into the door and I put my hand to my mouth, either to keep him from it or to keep me from kissing him back — I can’t be sure.
Ari swallows hard, his dark eyes wild with shadows. “Tannis...”
“What did you do?” I ask, my voice breaking.
“Nothing.”
I clutch my chest as that ribbon slithers deep into my core. “Bullshit.”
He reaches for me. “Tannis—”
“Stay away from me.”
I shove at the front door and bolt inside, not even hesitating to kick it closed behind me. It’s only when I hear the latch do I realize the gravity of what I just did.
I slammed the door on a god.
Ah, shit.
“Honey?”
I look up, realizing that I’m still hunched over, gripping my chest. My mother stands in the foyer between me and the kitchen, her eyes heavy with concern.
“Are you all right?” she asks.
I stand up taller, feeling normal again. “I’m fine,” I say quickly.
She eyes the front door. “Where’s Ari?”
“He’s, um...” I press my tingling lips together. “He’s gone. Said he’d come back tomorrow.”
“Oh.” She nods. “All right, then.” She smiles. “Did you have fun? Where’d you go?”
“Just...” I swallow the words. Would she even believe me? “Out to dinner. Some new place downtown.”
She eagerly bounces her shoulders. “Well? What’d you talk about?”
“Actually, Mom...” I push off the door. “Can we talk about this later? I’m not feeling very well.”
“Been a big day, I suppose,” she says.
“Yeah.”
She steps forward and pushes my hair back behind my ear. “Go get some rest, honey,” she says. “We’ll be here when you’re ready.”
I nod, feeling those burning tears return but I don’t dare let them fall. “Uh huh.”
I rush up the stairs, charging as quickly as possible toward my room.
What the hell just happened to me? I felt something flowing from him into me — and it wasn’t just the thrill of a girl’s first kiss.
I lock my door behind me and put my back against it to catch my breath.
I feel him. Some deep, primal essence taking hold of me, crawling beneath my skin.
And I let it happen. I gave my lips to a god; a god who wants to claim me as his own.
And I’m not even sure I won’t do it again.
Chapter 7
I toss and turn on my bed, desperately trying to get comfortable. It’s too warm under the covers. It’s too cold without them. My skin continues to crawl. My thoughts don’t stop churning in my mind.
My lips keep pursing on their own.
Ari.
Every time I close my eyes, there he is. His cool confidence. His deep eyes and wicked smile.
His perfect lips. The way they moved with mine.
“Tannis…”
I hear his whisper in my ear.
“Open your eyes.”
I stare at an unfamiliar ceiling. It’s dark and old, nearly gray in color. This bed isn’t mine. It’s nearly twice as large and my sheets are white and purple. These are black as coal and smooth as silk. The only light in the room comes from a large fireplace in the far corner with flames taller than I am.
They outline his shape. A man standing at the foot of the bed. Tall and naked.
Ari?
I don’t move. The pillow hugs my head and neck perfectly. The sheets curl around my bare skin like a warm embrace.
“Where am I?” I ask, though my voice doesn’t come out.
Ari silently smiles and crawls onto the bed. I gasp at his flesh, tight and toned and... hard.
He balances over me, his legs mingling between mine. “Where you belong,” I hear him say, though his lips aren’t moving.
He hovers over me, his lips a mere inch from mine, and my entire body surges with that same shot of warmth as before.
“Where you’ve always belonged.”
I turn my head and his lips shift to my neck. I feel the wet slice of his tongue and the sharp edge of his teeth as he kisses a trail along my collarbone. He grips the sheet around my body and moves to pull it down but my reflex kicks in and I grab it before he can expose me.
“Wait,” I say, finding my voice. “Where am I?”
“Shh,” he whispers.
“No—” I jolt back. “Why did you bring me here?”
He smiles in the dark. “Oh, young Tannis,” he says. “I didn’t bring you here.”
I lurch awake and bolt upward, nearly knocking my lamp over as I spin around to flick it on. The soft light fills my bedroom, blending with early morning sunlight, and I lean forward to catch my breath.
It was just a dream.
I brush a hand along my throat, still feeling the cut of his bite on my blushing skin. My nipples are hard and my body throbs, urging me to keep touching myself but I force my hands down to my sides.
A really vivid dream.
I shake my head, trying to banish the memory of his eyes. They were so full of desire for me... and not an ounce of surprise.
Where you belong.
Where you’ve always belonged.
I shudder again.
It was just a dream.
Right?
I plop back down on the pillows, my chest still heaving as blood pounds in my ears. After a few moments, my skin cools and my sweat dries and I finally start to notice the voices from elsewhere in the house.
I slide off the bed and rush to plant my ear against my door. One voice stands out — distinctly my mother’s excitable laugh. The other, my father’s. There’s a third voice, deep, almost raspy and...
Ari.
What the hell is he doing here?
I reach for the knob but quickly stop when I realize I’m wearing next to nothing in my tank and shorts. And I don’t even want to imagine the state of my hair right now.
“Shit,” I mutter before turning back to my closet.
I rush to the bathroom to clean myself up before slipping into a cardigan and jeans. Laughter carries from downstairs and I grow even more annoyed. What are they so happy about? Doesn’t this whole thing bother them at all?
I ease out into the hallway and slowly make my way down the stairs. Even without making any noise at all, I feel the moment Ari notices me. His eyes track me through the walls like an x-ray but still, I twitch when I round the corner and his eyes are on me.
“Tannis!” My mother smiles wide with a spatula in her hand. “Good morning! Want some eggs?”
I squint at Ari sitting at the kitchen table across from my father with his own plate of scrambled eggs and toast. He stares right back at me over the rim of a coffee mug as he takes a long sip.
“Tannis?” my father asks, clearing his throat. “Earth to Tannis?”
Ari says nothing. He sits back, rarely even blinking his soft eyes.
My mother sets the spatula down by the sizzling skillet. “Honey?”
I shake my head. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I blurt out.
“Tannis,” she scolds me, forcing a pleasant smile. “We have company.”
“No, we don’t have company,” I say, losing my cool. “We have the man you literally sold me to without my consent drinking coffee and eating breakfast! Am I the only one who sees how messed up this is?!”
“Tannis, don’t be rude.”
“No,” Ari says. “It’s all right. Let her speak her mind.”
“Oh, how gracious of you, sir,” I say with a scoff. “For allowing your property to speak.”
“I don’t own you, Tannis,” he says.
“Yet.”
His head tilts.
Dad clears his throat and rises from his chair. “Tannis, could we sidebar here for a second?” he asks as he gestures to the laundry room door across the room.
I exhale hard, casting one last harsh glare at Ari before following my father inside.
He closes the door behind us and waits a moment until my mother’s voice starts back up again before speaking.
“So,” he says, “how ya doing, honey?”
I cross my arms. “Not so good, Dad. You?”
He nods. “Would it comfort you if I told you it could be a lot worse?”
“Worse?” I repeat. “You think I shouldn’t be upset right now just because it could be a lot worse?”
“I didn’t say that,” he says. “No, what you’re feeling right now — you have every right to be upset.”
“Thank you.”
“But...” He pauses to take a breath. “Honey, the night you were born was the worst night of my life. It shouldn’t be that way. The birth of your first child isn’t supposed to be like that. For nine months, I watched you grow. I spent every night with my hand on your mother’s stomach feeling you kick and when you came out, and the doctor had that look on his face, and I just...” He swallows hard.
My chest twinges. “Dad...”
“I want you to understand why we chose what we chose,” he says, just above a whisper. “And it’s not fair, I agree with you, but when Ari told me that he’d save you and that he’d always take care of you and give you a future full of anything you ever wanted… I had to say yes, because it gave me you. I got to hold you and feed you and clothe you. I taught you how to crawl and walk and talk. You taught me how to be patient and how to be patient some more and how to love… unconditionally. If I had to go back and make the same decision, I’d do it all over again and so would your mother. Be honest with me, baby. What would you have done?”
I pinch my eyes closed and swallow the tears away. “I understand, Dad. I do, but…”
“I’m not telling you to get over it or toughen up or anything like that,” he says. “I wouldn’t be much of a father if I did. But… what I am saying is that this man gave us twenty precious years together and for that, maybe, he deserves a chance.”
“I’m giving him a chance, Dad, but...” I go quiet, trembling at the dream still fresh in my head.
