The Price Of Humanity (Surviving For Humanity Book 3), page 1
The Price Of Humanity
Surviving For Humanity Book 3
Kip Nelson
Copyright © 2018 by Kip Nelson
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter One
It had been some time since Khan had stormed into the house with his band of not so merry men and demanded a tribute be paid to him, or Tillman and his family would be killed, their house razed to the ground. They all still were reeling, and the air had a tense, eerie feeling to it. There was no ambient noise coming from the outside world, and the silence was ominous.
Tillman was sitting on the couch in the living room, his wounded leg healing slowly. Major was by his side, nestled into his body. Tillman felt comforted by the dog’s presence. The image of Khan threatening them was at the forefront of his mind, and the more he thought about that brute the more his anger coiled inside him.
Yet, there didn't seem to be a way out. If he went to war with Khan, there was a chance the people he loved would get killed. He'd only just reconnected with his family, so he didn't want to see that end now. But if they did nothing, Khan always would haunt them. He wasn't the type to let a grudge go so easily.
Greg and Morelle were in the kitchen with his mother and father. Tillman was surprised at how Greg had stepped up ever since they had arrived here. While they had been walking through the city Greg had whined and complained and had been in denial about the state of the world, thinking the authorities were going to regain control of the country. Perhaps he finally had come to accept there was no salvation coming.
They were on their own.
No police were coming to arrest Khan. Tillman and the others were the only ones standing in his way. He seemed already to have formed quite a formidable power base, gathering thugs to intimidate weaker people. But Tillman didn't want to be intimidated. The world already was scary enough without having someone like Khan threatening them at every turn.
The hell of it was, Khan's presence was all Tillman's fault. He had let Khan walk away when he could have killed him. None of this would be happening if he just had pulled the trigger, and now they all were paying the price for his humanity. There could be no more mercy in this world, and Tillman knew that now, but how many people were going to suffer because he took too long to learn the lesson?
Tillman heard footsteps as Penelope entered. She smiled softly at him as she sat on the couch. Penelope had pledged her loyalty to Tillman and his family, saying she would stay and help defend the ranch, even though she had no reason to stay here. She could have run away quite easily. So could the rest of them, really, except that there was an entrenched need to defend their home against attack, and a desire to prove they would not be intimidated by this bully.
“How's the leg?” she asked.
Tillman shrugged. “It's getting there. It'll be alright soon enough.”
“Your dad's arm got grazed as well. Your mom is fussing over him,” Penelope said, smiling softly.
“She would be. Frankly, I'm surprised she's not in here fussing over me. But there are things that hurt more than my leg,” Tillman said.
“Like what?”
Tillman sighed. “Like the fact that Khan wouldn't be here if I just had killed him.”
His father already had tried telling him that he wasn't responsible for Khan's actions, and that not killing someone wasn't something to regret. He understood the point, but it didn't make him feel any better.
“You can't blame yourself for that. I know how much it affected you when you killed before,” Penelope said, saying much the same thing as her father. “Khan did what he did, and you couldn't have known that. I'm sure if you had known that he would be coming back for you, you would have done things differently.”
“Maybe. It's so different isn't it, this real life? We spent so much time in a virtual world that things came easily for us there. Everything was on an arranged script. Everything was fated. There's nothing like that out here, we're all just at the mercy of chaos. Literally anything could happen right now, and how are we supposed to prepare for that?”
“I guess like we do with anything in life, we use our previous experiences to help inform us, and if we don't have any previous experience of anything like this, we just try doing the best we can.”
“The problem is the only experience I have is from games. It was so easy to kill.”
“Well, what would you do if this was a game?” Penelope asked. Tillman inhaled sharply and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling as he pondered the question.
“I guess I'd get a weapon, go and find Khan, and deal with him. It'd be a stealth mission. I would have to take at least one other person with me, find out where Khan is staying. I probably would have to take out the people working for him, then make my way to Khan. He'd be the boss, of course, so the fight would be intense. Then I'd have to kill him. Game over.”
Penelope looked at him expectantly, as if to say, ’Why couldn't he do that now?’
“But that's not going to work,” Tillman said.
“I know it's not going to be exactly the same, but it might be worth thinking about.”
“The big difference is we only get one chance here,” Tillman said. “In a game I might die a few times because of the unexpected. A guard would take me by surprise, I might miss something and make a noise that alerts them to my presence. I don't get to do that here. I don't get to make mistakes. If I go to Khan, he'll kill me. I can't take that risk. And it wouldn't be game over. The people under him won't all go quietly away. I'm sure that a lot of them share his philosophy and they'll want to fight back. There isn't an end to this at all, except the one that comes to all of us eventually. There's no winning here, just life.”
“I disagree. I think there is winning. I've had a lot of time to think about this since the world went dark. I was afraid at first, terrified in fact, and after we got attacked the first time I didn't think there would be an end to this. I thought that no matter where we went there would be someone wanting to take advantage of us.”
“I don't know where you're going with this, but that seems to be exactly what has happened.”
“My point is,” Penelope said, raising his eyebrows toward him, “is that before I didn't see anything worth fighting for. I have to be honest with you, I wasn't sure if I was ready for the slog. I even kind of thought it would be better if I had died. And I know how horrible and ungrateful that makes me sound when so many other people have lost their lives, but I can't help thinking it, you know? Like, this is hard.”
Tillman thought about the man he had seen on the first night, the one who had killed himself because his partner already had died. Tillman wondered how many other people had either killed themselves or let themselves die (was there a difference?) because the prospect of living in this world was too difficult to bear.
“But then we came here,” Penelope continued, “and I remembered what we were living for. I remembered that we are part of more than ourselves, and that while we're here we get the chance to build something together. It sounds pretty sappy, and to be honest I can't even believe I'm saying these things myself,” she said as she ran her hand through her orange hair, “but that's just the way I feel. I want to work with everyone here to build a good life. I see how your parents are with you and Morelle. You guys are a family. I've never really had that, but I feel like now I get a chance to have that.”
Penelope spoke passionately and it touched Tillman's heart. Sometimes he forgot there were other people who hadn't had his same experiences. Penelope had had a troubled upbringing. The fact that she thought Tillman and his parents were close showed how skewed her perspective of a family was, but she did indeed have a point. Tillman had been alone for a long time now but being back home reminded him of things such as love and companionship. The things that were worth fighting for.
“Besides, I think you're looking at this all wrong,” Penelope added.
Tillman arched an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
“We're gamers. We like comparing things to our gaming experiences. You've played mostly competitively. You like first-person shooters and role-playing games, but do you know what I like? The big 4X games, grand strategy, holding the entire future of a civilization in your hands.” Penelope's eyes went wide with awe and excitement as she relived her experiences with those sorts of games.
“I've played a few of those before, in my spare time. They always seemed to take too much investment, though.”
“Well, if you had, then you might look at this situation differently. You're looking at Khan as a boss, but what if he's not a boss at all, just a threat? He's some random barbarian threatening your settlement. You need to think about the long-term future. In those kinds of games it's not the winning that I enjoy, it's building a civilization, developing alliances with other groups, making progress with technology. When I look at the world now that's the kind of game I see. It's not a short game, where we go kill a few people. It's a long, expansive game with so many different things that could happen, and this is just a threat we have to deal with, but it's not the end.”
Tillman was impressed with her way of thinking.
“I hadn't thought about it like that before,” he said. “But that's actually something to think about. Look,” he said, moving a little closer to her and lowering his voice to ensure nobody else could overhear them.
“My parents made it clear that if it comes down to it, they're going to stay here and defend this place so we can make our escape. Now, that's not what I want to happen. I don't want to leave them here to face Khan alone, but I understand that it's no good to have everyone sacrificing themselves. I think I might have a way for us to have a better chance of standing against Khan, but it's not going to be easy. I know there are other people like us out there who are scared of him and his threats. Right now, we're all in our houses, afraid, worried, but what if we could band together? What if we could form an alliance against him?”
Penelope nodded along. “Our biggest weapon is our diplomacy. Don't worry, Tillman, I'll help you. I always preferred developing a friendly society and winning people over with my cultural power rather than bombing them to hell,” she said.
Then, she placed a hand on his. “How are you holding up, really? I know that you haven't really had a chance to relax through all this.”
“No, even now I'm not sure I feel relaxed, but then again I don't think there ever is going to be a time where I just can enjoy myself.”
“I'm sure there will be, but I know all of us are grateful for the way you take charge. It's always reassuring to know there's someone who knows what's going on.”
“Then I probably shouldn't tell you that I really have no idea, and I'm just trying to do the best I can,” he said, smirking.
“I won't tell anyone if you won't. But seriously, Tillman, you've done so much for all of us here and I just wanted to say thank you. You know, in case I don't get another chance.”
Tillman smiled at her, although it was a bittersweet smile. The way of life in this new world was more fraught with danger. Every moment brought with it new tension, and a feeling that each sunrise had to be cherished as it could be the last one they would ever witness. The same had been true in the old world, but people were able to ignore it, to delude themselves into thinking that each day was going to be like the last, until there was a sudden, shocking event that made them all have to face their mortality.
That wasn't possible in this post-apocalyptic world. They had to face their mortality in every moment. The same thing must have been on Penelope's mind too, for she was quiet for a few moments. Then she brushed back her hair and spoke about a lighter subject.
“Greg seems in much better spirits,” she said.
“I think that has something to do with Morelle,” Tillman said.
“Isn't that weird? Like, I know Greg is your friend and everything, but she's your sister.”
Tillman shrugged. “I never got that whole issue. I'd rather she date someone I know I can trust than some stranger. Not that dating is the appropriate term for this. I don't know what's going on with them, but if they can find some happiness and comfort with each other in this world, then more power to them. Morelle has been through a lot and she deserves to have some goodness and joy in her life. But I have made it clear to him that if he does anything to hurt her I will destroy him,” Tillman said with a smile, although deep down he wasn't joking. He didn't think his father would take it lightly either, not after what he had done to Javier.
Penelope sat with him for a little while longer. Tillman was going to be off his feet for at least a day more. The pain was a dull throb in his leg, but it felt as though it was going to be there forever.
“Can you do me a favor and check on Jessica and Anthony for me? I want to make sure they're holding up okay, and I think they might respond a little better to someone closer to their age. I know they're brave kids and they're trying to put on a brave face, but I think they might be holding something back given that we're family. I know Anthony must be struggling because his parents are lost on the other side of the country.”
“Yeah, sure thing. Are you sure you're going to be okay here?” she asked.
“I've got Major, he's looking after me,” Tillman said, rubbing the dog's neck. Major seemed to grin and tilted his head to one side. Tillman wondered if the dog grieved for his master, or if those memories just seemed like another life.
Chapter Two
After Penelope left, Tillman sat on his own, staring at the blank television. A book was sitting next to him that he had tried to read, but he hadn't been able to concentrate. His eyes passed over the words without taking them in. They were just black marks to him, for his mind was elsewhere. He found he had to read and re-read paragraphs over and over again before anything stuck in his mind, and in the end, he had slammed the book shut, making Major jump, and leaving it to be picked up at a later date.
The talk with Penelope had helped him, although it only made him realize how much he missed video games. His hands were starting to twitch with the desire to take a controller in his hands and sit down for a few hours, losing himself in another world.
It wasn't that he was an addict exactly, but his entire life had revolved around video games for as long as he could remember, and it was difficult to have all that ripped away from him. However, he tried remembering what his father said, about how video games were something that had taken Tillman away from his family, and he told himself there were other ways to live a fulfilling life.
It was strange, after being alone for so long, but Tillman was quickly getting used to being back with his family.
Morelle came in, although she wasn't with Greg. She sat down next to Tillman, for which Tillman was glad. He hadn't had a real chance to catch up with his sister yet. She looked tired, and still bore the weariness that came with much weeping, but she was looking in better spirits. There was a red mark on her neck where one of Khan's thugs had held a knife against her throat.
“I just wanted to thank you for saving my life,” she said.
“Think nothing of it,” Tillman said. “It's what big brothers are for.”
“I've missed you, Tillman. We all have. Even Dad, though he won't admit how much he's missed you. I'm glad you're here for Jess as well. I've tried to make her proud of you. I've told her everything you've done over the years, but I don't think she remembers how you held her as a baby.”
“I don't expect she would, but I think we've got a pretty good rapport going. Anthony seems like a good kid too.”
“Are you just saying that because he's a big fan?” Morelle teased.
“I wouldn't be so shallow, but it does help,” Tillman grinned.
“But yeah, he is, and she seems happy.”
“As do you, now that Greg is here.”
Morelle blushed and looked away.
“It's okay,” Tillman said, laughing. “You don't have to be ashamed of it or anything. I actually think it's quite sweet. You know, these are trying times for us all.”
“Is he nice?”
“Greg?”
Morelle nodded. Tillman thought about her question for a few moments. How could he sum up Greg? He wanted to be honest with Morelle, but at the same time he didn't want to feel like he was dissuading her. He'd known Greg a long time and was perfectly aware of his quirks. But it wasn't fair to let Morelle know about all of those yet. Some things she would have to discover for herself. That was the joy of romance after all.
