Before I Let Go, page 38
Yasmen comes home to find Vashti having dinner and playing games with the kids and Josiah. How did you feel about Yasmen’s response?
How did reading Josiah’s point of view affect your impression of him after the opening chapters of the book from Yasmen?
Therapy plays a huge role in the book, and there is a lot of discussion about grief and depression. In some circles, therapy is still stigmatized. How did therapy and perceptions about therapy impact the characters and story? Did it change your views in any way? What were some of the things the story asked you to consider about grief and depression?
Did you see any ways in which Yasmen and Deja’s relationship was reflected through Yasmen and Carole’s? How do mothers and daughters influence each other? And how about Aunt Byrd’s role? In what ways do people live on through others?
Before I Let Go is a romance, but also leans into elements of women’s fiction and empowerment. What were some of the elements that highlighted the unique challenges women sometimes face and the various choices the women in this story make? Was there one woman’s journey you identified with most?
Food is crucial to the story. Discuss the ways—beyond the fact that Yasmen and Josiah own a restaurant—that food is significant.
Did you understand Yasmen and Josiah’s rationale for keeping their “affair” a secret at first? Did you agree with their reasons?
Were Josiah’s initial fear and skepticism when Yasmen asked him to come home justified? How did they make you feel?
There is some debate about what makes a romance novel and how it should end. If Yasmen and Josiah had decided not to remarry but took a page from Ken and Merry’s book, would you consider it a happily ever after? Did you agree with their decision?
Recipes
Aunt Byrd’s Limoncello Pound Cake
Ingredients
For the cake
Cooking spray or vegetable oil, for the pan
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1½ cups unsalted softened butter
1¼ cups sugar
3 large eggs
1¼ cups sour cream
¼ cup limoncello
Zest of 3 lemons
For the glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons limoncello
Lemon zest
A pinch of “bless your heart”
Directions for the cake
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Spray a Bundt pan lightly or coat with oil.
In a bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
In a separate bowl or stand mixer, beat the butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. Continue beating the butter while adding the eggs, one at a time.
Add one-third of the flour mixture and mix on low. Add one-half of the sour cream and beat. Repeat these steps, ending with the flour mixture. Add the limoncello and lemon zest. Mix until it’s smooth.
Pour mixture into the prepared pan. Smooth the top. Bake for 30 minutes on the center rack. Rotate the cake and turn the temperature down to 325°F. Bake for 25 more minutes.
Let the cake cool in the pan for about 15 minutes, then turn the cake out onto a wire rack or cake plate. Let it continue to cool while you prepare the glaze.
Directions for the glaze
Stir the powdered sugar, limoncello, and lemon zest in a bowl until smooth.
Drizzle over the completely cooled cake.
Josiah’s Sweet Potato Pie Pancakes
Ingredients
1¾ cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
¼ teaspoon ground ginger
2 cups milk
2 small sweet potatoes, roasted and pureed until smooth (about ¾ cup puree)
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Butter, for the pan
A full cup of swagger
Directions
In one bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger together.
In a second bowl, whisk the milk and sweet potato puree together. Add the eggs and vanilla.
Combine the wet and dry ingredients and stir.
Melt the butter in a large nonstick skillet or griddle over medium-high heat. Once it foams a little, reduce the heat to medium-low and ladle about ½ cup of pancake batter into the skillet. Cook until you see bubbles form in the batter and the pancake is golden underneath, about 2–3 minutes. Flip and cook it another 2–3 minutes, until golden.
Serve with maple syrup, pecans, or whipped cream—your choice!
My Aunt Evelyn’s Corn Pudding
Ingredients
Cooking spray, grease, or butter, for the pan
3 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
⅓ cup milk
¼ stick butter, melted
½ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
½ cup sugar
2 cans cream-style corn
1 cup whole corn (frozen, canned, or fresh—your preference)
A heap of Southern hospitality!
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Prepare a 9 × 13 baking pan with cooking spray, grease, or butter.
In one bowl, beat the eggs. Add the vanilla extract, milk, and melted butter.
In separate bowl, stir together the salt, flour, and sugar. Then whisk them into the egg mixture.
Fold in both cans of cream-style corn.
If using canned corn, drain half of the water from the can, leaving the other half. Pour the remaining water and corn into the bowl with the other ingredients. If using fresh or frozen, just pour all the corn in.
Stir all the ingredients together and pour them into the prepared pan.
Cook for 45 minutes (the eggs should be set and the top should be brown).
Let the pan sit for 15 minutes and serve!
Soledad’s Vinaigrette
Ingredients
¾ cup avocado or extra virgin olive oil
½ cup sherry vinegar
Juice from half a lemon (or a whole one if you want more twang!)
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
½ teaspoon pepper
Lil’ bit o’ salt
1 tablespoon honey
1 hefty dollop of bad & boujee!
Directions
Whisk the ingredients together and pour this over your fave salad! It also makes a great marinade.
Acknowledgments
This book was both a labor of love and a catharsis of sorts. It’s the first book I ever wrote, drafted nearly 15 years ago, before I’d even published anything. Though the title, characters’ names, and so many of the details changed, the kernel of hope that spurred the idea remained. This story became increasingly personal. While writing Before I Let Go, I, like Yasmen, was diagnosed with depression. I say that I wore the skin of this book. I don’t know if that made it harder or easier to write, but I know tasting some of Yasmen’s experience made this story richer and more real. It made me more empathetic and taught me to judge less and offer more grace. My hope is that someone out there struggling or stumbling reads it and feels hope, feels joy, and is encouraged to continue.
There are so many people without whom I could not have written it…finished it!
There were several women who assisted me in understanding stillbirth, grief, and depression from the perspective of a mother and/or as a therapist/counselor. Leticeia, Gloria, Ebonie, Valerie, Angela, Shelly—thank you for all of your assistance, for your compassion. In every interview, every conversation, each exchange, it was so apparent you wanted someone to see themselves in this story. You had counseled clients like Yasmen, or you had been Yasmen. Your insight shaped her healing and helped stitch this fictional family back together. Your help was priceless and you have my unending gratitude.
Joanna, thank you for being my alpha, for always reading first and not letting me get away with much of anything. My work would not be the same without you. Your support and friendship continue to be one of my greatest blessings on this journey.
Keisha of Honey Magnolia, thank you for reading and pulling no punches. For finding new passion for everything I do on and off the page. Your vision and expectation of excellence inspire and provoke me in the best way.
To Lauren, for always reading early with a magnifying glass and for holding nothing back—thank you.
Chele, Shelley, Kelsey—thank you for reading early and encouraging me. I’ll never take it for granted.
To my editor, Leah—THANK YOU for being so patient with me. There may never have been a worst first draft. LOL! I was in a very tough place personally and you handled me with care. You didn’t panic and helped me find the best in this story. I hope! I’m so glad we took this journey together and cannot wait for what’s next!
Dylan, you are not only my best friend and loudest cheerleader, but during this book especially you were a safe place for me. I’m not sure what I did to deserve someone as kind, talented, generous, and encouraging as you for a best friend, but I’m never letting you go.
To my mom. When I was at one of my lowest, darkest places, unsure if I’d even be able to finish this book, you dropped everything, hopped on a plane, and came to me. What’s spectacular is that you’ve always done it. You’ve always known how to be there for me, how to help. You are wise, intuitive, resilient, generous, and compassionate. I hope I’m an apple that hasn’t fallen far from your tree.
To my son, Myles. Every book is yours. I thought I understood what motherhood would be, but you turned that inside out, kid. You taught me that I was truly capable of unconditional love and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wouldn’t trade you.
Finally to my husband, Samuel. Before I Let Go wouldn’t exist if you hadn’t said, “Whatever happened to that book with the divorced couple?” That’s you, though. As invested in my hopes and dreams as you are in your own. Humble and secure and caring and passionate. You are great and rare, my love. Josiah asks if people know the exact moment they fall in love, and he says it’s not one moment, but a million. Here’s to a million moments over the last twenty-five years when I fell in love with you and to a million more. It’s been tough sometimes, but I’d do it all again as long as I get to do it with you. <3
About the Author
A RITA® Award winner and USA Today bestselling author, Kennedy Ryan writes for women from all walks of life, empowering them and placing them firmly at the center of each story and in charge of their own destinies. Her heroes respect, cherish, and lose their minds for the women who capture their hearts. Kennedy and her writings have been featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul, USA Today, Entertainment Weekly, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Time, O magazine, and many others. She has a passion for raising autism awareness. The cofounder of LIFT 4 Autism, an annual charitable book auction, she has appeared on Headline News, the Montel Williams Show, NPR, and other media outlets as an advocate for ASD families. She is a wife to her lifetime lover and mother to an extraordinary son.
Find out more at:
KennedyRyanWrites.com
TikTok: @kennedyryanauthor
Facebook.com/KennedyRyanAuthor
Twitter: @KennedyRWrites
Instagram: @KennedyRyan1
Praise for Kennedy Ryan
“Ryan is a powerhouse of a writer.”
—USA Today
“Kennedy Ryan is one of the finest romance writers of our age.”
—Entertainment Weekly
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—Jennifer L. Armentrout, #1 New York Times bestselling author
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—Denise Williams, author of How to Fail at Flirting
Kennedy Ryan, Before I Let Go
