Dear Adam, page 21
“Thank you for everything.” I wrap my arms around Emma and walk her to the door. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?” Emma nods and leaves, and I turn back to my brother.
“We have so much to catch up on,” I say, wondering where to even begin.
“I want to hear it all,” he says, but I can tell from the slight droop in his eyes his energy is flagging.
“How about I tell you everything tomorrow?” I ask.
“Deal,” he says, his eyes fluttering closed. Then he blinks them open and stares at me. “Hey Aly?”
“Hmm?” The buzzing and whirring of the machines he’s hooked up to is oddly calming, causing me to get a little drowsy, too.
“I had the craziest dream while I was asleep that you and Levi brought Pretzel in here. Isn’t that funny? It seemed so real. I could almost feel her next to me.”
“Adam,” I say, chuckling softly. “We did sneak her in here, and she did crawl up onto your bed.”
“You did?” he asks, relief flooding his face. “I knew it seemed too real to be a dream. Levi was with you, wasn’t he? I remember his voice.”
“He was,” I say carefully.
“Tell me about it tomorrow?” he asks.
“Tomorrow,” I promise as he lays his head back on the pillow and falls fast asleep.
Chapter thirty-one
Levi
It’s been one whole week since my entire world crashed down around me. Seven days of misery induced by the image of that slimy greaseball Hudson wrapping his arm around Aly and walking her through those gates like she was his. All week, I’ve been wrestling with that. How could she hate the guy one minute, and the next, attend one of the most important social events in Charleston on his arm? I was supposed to be the guy standing next to her, my arm wrapped around her, whispering jokes into her ear all night to keep her smiling in an otherwise tense situation. I was supposed to protect her from anything and everything that could’ve possibly gone wrong at that dinner. Instead, I’m the guy tossed to the side with not even so much as a second thought.
After the way she found Adam’s phone, I can’t say I blame her. If I could go back and give her the phone at the very beginning, I would. I wouldn’t chicken out every time I tried. I wouldn’t read any of those private text messages.
So yeah, I could see why she was upset, which only made me more angry with myself. Looking back, I realize Aly would’ve given me a chance if I would’ve come clean from the beginning. How could I have thought that giving her the phone would’ve screwed all that up?
I get up off Mom and Dad’s couch and turn off Sleepless in Seattle, which has been playing on repeat all week. Mom comes in and stands in front of the TV, hands on her hips.
“Are you going to shower this week? Maybe get off the couch? At the very least, watch something different? Your dad and I have had all we can take of Meg Ryan and the way you smell.”
“Thanks for the tough love.” I press play on the movie anyway while simultaneously sniffing my armpit. Yikes. With a disappointed shake of her head, she walks back into the kitchen, she and Dad sharing whispered words. It’s still dark outside, which means it’s either early morning, or late night. In my rom com and ice cream induced haze, it seems I’ve lost track of time.
“I think he’s heart broken, Tom. What do we do?”
“He needs to toughen up and get back to work. That’s what I think.” Dad makes no attempt to hide his gruff tone, and the screech of his chair being pushed back from the table fills the silence.
“Oh, Tom! Could you be a little more sensitive?”
“Nope. I gotta get back to work.” A soft smack sounds from the kiss he plants on Mom’s cheek, then he’s in the living room. He bends to put his boots on and, when they’re laced, he turns to me. “Have you tried talking to her?” he asks quietly. I shake my head, too tired to go into detail.
“You know where she works, don’t you?” he asks with a raised brow then slips out the door.
With a sigh, I turn off the TV. He has a point. I have to make at least one more attempt to apologize. If she accepts, great. If she doesn’t…well, I don’t want to think about a life without Aly.
Searching for my phone, I finally locate it wedged between two cushions and check the time. It’s seven in the morning, and Bloomie’s doesn’t open until nine, but I know there’s a fair chance she’s already there, preparing for the day. Summoning the courage, I pry myself off the couch and slide on my tennis shoes
“Um, Levi?” Mom asks, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, eyeing me warily.
“Hmm?”
“A shower never hurt anyone.” She points behind her to the bathroom. “I just restocked it with fresh towels. You better enjoy a bathroom to yourself while you can, anyway. Glenda called and said she’ll be here this evening.”
“Right,” I said, managing a smile. “It’s about time she brought my dog back.”
“I think she’s grown pretty fond of Hank. She sent me a picture of them in matching pajamas last night.”
“She sent me the same picture. Hank looks miserable. He’ll never forgive me.”
Mom bites her lip to keep from chuckling, and I shuffle past her to the bathroom.
I park a few blocks from Bloomie’s and unfold myself from behind the steering wheel. The distance between the car and the door to the shop passes too quickly as I rehearse my speech to Aly. When I go to open it with a shaky hand, the door swings open and a red-faced Aly comes flying out.
“What do you want?” she snarls, hands planted on her hips. I know anger isn’t a normal emotion for Aly, but her finger wags my face, and I’m going cross eyed trying to follow it.
“I, uh,” I say, taking a few steps back to focus. “I wanted to—”
“To offer puppy support?” Her voice escalates with each word, and people along the sidewalk stop and stare.
“Puppy support?” I repeat.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Levi,” she sputters. “Puppy support. Like child support but for puppies.”
“I’m not following,” I say. “Can we go inside? Maybe get off the sidewalk?” Someone across the street has pulled out their phone, and I’m sure they’re videoing. If we don’t move fast, we’ll be the next viral internet sensation.
“You don’t want the world to know what your dog did to my precious, innocent, angel Pretzel? She just turned two, Levi! She’s only a teenager!” Her cheeks are flushed bright red, and her blue eyes have darkened to the color of the nighttime sky. Her hair is haphazardly piled on top of her head, a few pieces escaping to fall down around her face. I shake my head to clear my mind. Now is not the time to think about how beautiful she looks.
“Is Pretzel…with puppy?” I ask, finally putting the pieces together.
“With puppies,” she corrects. “Four of them.”
“And are you sure Hank is…you know…”
“The father? Of course he’s the father! What are you trying to say about Pretzel?”
“Nothing!” I splutter and move toward her.
“Don’t you dare,” she says, backing up. “How do you even have the audacity to show up here after everything you’ve done?” The anger has disappeared from her eyes, replaced by pain, like a wounded animal. There’s a scratch at the door, and I look down to find a waddling Pretzel with a swollen belly, pawing to come outside.
“Not now,” Aly says to Pretzel. “I know you’re excited to see him, but I’m not.”
“Ouch,” I mutter. “Can we at least get coffee or something? Talk about this? About us?”
She sighs and glances at Pretzel again.
“I don’t know,” Aly says. “I’m still pretty upset, Levi.”
“I know you are,” I say, “And I’ve never been more sorry for anything in my life. Please, let me explain everything to you. Give me a chance.” I reach out my hand, but she ignores it.
“We do need to figure out what to do with the puppies,” she says hesitantly, tapping a finger to her chin. “They’re your grand dogs, and I can’t deny you rights to see them.” I let out a small chuckle, and she flashes me a look full of disgust. “Should we ask Pretzel if she thinks this is funny?”
“No, you’re right. This isn’t funny. I’m sorry. A million times over, Aly.” I shove my hands into my pockets and wait for her response.
She glances down at her watch and then says, “I have an hour before we open. Let’s walk down to the coffee shop.” She opens the door to scoop up Pretzel, and I follow a few doors down to the coffee shop.
We place our orders and settle into a booth in the corner, both nursing our coffees before I finally speak up.
“I don’t know where to begin,” I start, “but I know what I did was wrong. I was given every opportunity to come clean and give you his phone back, and I didn’t. For that, I will never forgive myself, and I’m not expecting you to, either.”
Aly chews on her lower lip and looks down at Pretzel, who is curled in her lap. I suck in a deep breath and continue. “I should never have read any of the messages between you and your brother.”
“You shouldn’t have,” she snaps.
“But Aly,” I say, the words bubbling beneath the surface, ready to explode. “I’ve had a crush on you since the day I met you. When I moved away, I thought I’d never see you again. When I saw your name pop up on that screen…it wasn’t right. I know it wasn’t. But I missed you so much…” I trail off.
“Then why did you leave again?” With hollow eyes, she peers at me from behind her smudged glasses, and I know these past few weeks have been as hard for her as they were for me.
“I thought I needed to prove myself. I thought if I stayed here, I’d look like a coward for running from my failing company. I thought a lot of things that weren’t true,” I confess. I place a sweaty palm on my bouncing knee, stilling myself. “I’m sorry again, for everything.” I try to meet her gaze, but she’s still staring at Pretzel and absently rubbing her growing belly.
“I’ll let you know when she has the puppies,” she says quietly, finally meeting my eyes. “When is your flight back to California?”
“I’m staying, Aly. For good.”
“You are?” Her chin quivers, and I finally feel like I’ve reached a breakthrough with her. Not a large one by any means, but it’s something.
“I’m not losing you again. I’m here and I’ll be waiting for you, however long that takes.”
Aly glances out the window then down at her watch. “You should know that Adam is awake.”
“He is? That’s great!” Relief courses through my veins, and the crushing weight finally lifts off my chest. “Is he home or still in the hospital?”
“You’re his best friend. You should know.”
My stomach drops. “You’re absolutely right. I’ve been so selfish, Aly.”
I wish I could say something, anything, to make her understand what she means to me but I can't find the right words. Instead, I reach down and scratch Pretzel under the chin, then rise to leave.
“Bye for now, Aly.”
Chapter thirty-two
Aly
Watching Levi walk from the table, shoulders down, face distorted in agony, was almost enough to make me stop him. Almost. I’ve forgiven him, and I wish I had the strength to tell him.
But the sting from Levi’s actions is still present, and even though it’s dulled, the embarrassment that my innermost thoughts were out there on display for the guy I’ve been pining over since our childhood hasn’t lessened.
I sit in the coffee shop a few minutes longer with Pretzel, finishing my coffee, before finally getting up and heading back to Bloomie’s. The lights are on and the flowers are out, meaning Emma must already be in.
“Where have you been?” she calls from the back room. She comes out a few seconds later carrying a bucket of daisies. “We had a special order for fifteen daisy arrangements that need to be delivered today, by the way. I think the ad we ran on Instagram really helped.”
“That’s great,” I mumble absentmindedly, staring out the window.
“What are you looking for?” she asks, following my gaze. “Why do you look so…pale? It’s not flu season yet, is it?”
“I just saw Levi,” I confess. I shut my eyes tightly, ready for the blow from Emma. Instead, I’m greeted with silence. I crack one eye to find her staring at me, arms folded across her chest.
“And?” she asks.
“He apologized.”
“So are you two…” She pauses, looking for the right words. “Okay?”
“I didn’t accept his apology,” I say.
“Hmm,” Emma says, pulling a daisy from the bucket and twirling it between her fingers. “Why not?”
“I’m not ready. What he did was wrong, and it still hurts.”
“It was wrong, yes. But he confessed to every part of it, didn’t he?”
“Who’s side are you on?” I say, stomping my foot like a child.
“Have you talked to Adam about it?”
“I gave his phone back to him the other morning and told him what had happened. He agreed it was a real crappy thing to do, but you know how Adam is. He doesn’t let stuff like that bother him.”
I pull a vase from the shelf and fill it with water so we can get started on the arrangements. We work side by side until I catch Emma staring at me from the corner of my eye.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she says and turns back to her arrangement.
“What?” I repeat, facing her fully, my voice rising in agitation.
“It’s just that…you saw Levi for what? An hour this morning? And you already seem different. Like there’s a light back in your eyes that wasn't there when he was gone.”
I pause and suck in a breath. That can’t be right. “What? No. There’s no way. I’m still hurting. I’m still upset with him. It’s probably just the three cups of coffee I had this morning.”
“I’m just saying,” Emma says, the corner of her lips curving into a smile.
Work flies by thanks to fourteen new online orders and the last of the summer tourists stopping by to browse. Within no time, I’m locking the door and putting what’s left of the fresh flowers back into the cooler. Pretzel and I say our goodbyes to Emma for the weekend, then head to see Adam. My plan is to keep her in my backpack and pray she doesn’t bark. Today should be Adam’s last day in the hospital if his vitals stay steady.
When we finally arrive, I walk down to his room, thinking I could probably find it with my eyes closed at this point. As I round the corner, familiar voices trail down the hall.
“I don’t know what to tell you, man. You know how stubborn she can be,” Adam says above the chatter coming from other rooms.
“I can’t stop thinking about her.” A second, muffled voice says, and I can’t quite make out who it is. “I’m sorry for trying to go after her without your permission.”
Adam’s laugh rings out, warming my heart. I creep closer, my nosiness getting the best of me.
“You don’t need my permission. I should be apologizing to you for getting in the way every time you tried to make a move on her in high school. Heck, now I probably wouldn’t trust anyone with her but you. She’s my sister, though, you know? I had to make sure she was okay. I didn’t realize what she meant to you then or now.”
I freeze in my tracks.
“She means a lot to me, man.” Levi pauses and then awkwardly clears his throat. “I…I love her.”
Those three words send my head spinning. The hallway walls whirl around, closing in on me, Adam’s room getting farther and farther away.
Get a grip, Aly. Boys have told you they loved you before.
But not Levi.
Levi loves me.
And then…the world goes black.
“Can you hear me?”
I blink open my eyes to a nurse standing over me, waving an ammonia stick in front of my face, the smell so terrible I want to slap it out of her hand.
“Yes,” I say and roll onto my side, then all fours. Instantly, I scan the area for my backpack and can’t find it anywhere. Panic rises in my chest when Levi pops his head out of the room.
“I’ve got your backpack. It’s safe and sound with Adam,” he says with a wink. My heart rate begins to return to normal, and I’m thankful he knew to grab it and Pretzel before anyone found her.
“Can you stand?” the nurse asks and offers a hand. “I can get a wheelchair if you feel like you need it.”
“I’m fine,” I say, ignoring her hand and standing woozily to my feet. “Thank you.”
“When you landed, you made a strange noise. Almost like a yip. I knew it must’ve hurt,” the nurse says, with concern. “Have you eaten today?”
I think back on the three coffees I had earlier. “I haven’t.”
“What room are you headed to? I’ll bring in some crackers and juice.” I point to Adam's door, and she nods before turning away.
“You okay?” Levi asks.
“Never better,” I mumble, my cheeks turning crimson.
“What happened?” Concern lines his face. Instead of answering, I walk toward Adam’s room.
A million thoughts race through my mind. I can tell him I heard his confession to Adam, but that would be admitting to eavesdropping. Or, I could pretend like nothing ever happened, but then I would be doing exactly what Levi did to me with the texts. Karma has a real funny way of biting you in the butt.
I spin on my heel to face him. I take his face between my palms and look him straight in the eye. “I forgive you,” I tell him.
“Aly, I’m so sorry,” he starts.
“No, stop. I’m not done, I say, holding a hand up to shush him. “I love you, too.”
He reaches his hands up to mine and gently holds them there, tilting his head to lean in and kiss me. For three whole seconds, I forget I’m in a hospital, surrounded by the smell of ammonia and bleach, with my brother mere feet away.
