The Starburst Effect, page 6
“Don’t worry about it, Mrs. Trask,” Zoey says, wheezing through her laughter. “We understand. And it’s true, Lily does have a nice chest. Why do you think I gave her that sweater?”
“Zoey!” I elbow her again. “You’re not helping.” I force a smile at Mrs. Trask. “It’s okay, Susan. I get it.”
Her relief is tangible. “Thank you for understanding.”
Mrs. Trask chews on her bottom lip and watches her son take the last of his things from the car. She looks back at me, hopeful. “I know you said you guys weren’t close, but maybe you could spend some time with him every now and then? He’s having a difficult time right now, and his other friends…well, they haven’t been there much. It’s been hard for him.”
I don’t know what to say. There’s no way I can just become friends with Noah, no matter how different he is. He’s the reason school is hell for me this year. Why most of my friends ditched me. He may not remember the accident, or know about the bullying that’s happened while he’s been in the hospital, but I can’t ignore the years of awful behavior he’s shown toward me. He can’t expect me to let that go because his so-called friends have abandoned him. Then again, he isn’t asking. His mother is. He probably doesn’t want me to befriend him any more than I want to be his.
When I’ve taken so long to respond that it’s becoming awkward, Zoey jumps in. “Sure, Mrs. Trask. We’ll keep an eye on him.”
It’s not a promise to be his friend, and Zoey’s tone is more placating than sincere, but Mrs. Trask’s eyes still gloss over. “Thank you.” She turns to leave, then stops. “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you about Noah’s welcome-home New Year’s Eve party.”
Zoey and I share a glance.
“Austin is hosting a welcome-home party for Noah on New Year’s Eve at his house. You girls should go.”
Zoey chokes, and my eyes widen. “Oh, thanks, Susan. That sounds like fun, but—”
“You should come,” Noah says, arriving beside his mom with a backpack over his shoulder and his pillow in his arms.
“Us?” Zoey asks. “You’re inviting us to one of your parties?”
When both Zoey and I gape at him, he shifts awkwardly and shrugs. “Sure. It starts at…at…um…”
“Seven,” his mother says for him.
He nods, pointing to her. “Seven. You should come.”
Yeah. That’s not happening. “I’ll have to see if my mom will be home. She works a lot, and I have to watch Mason.”
It’s not a lie, but it’s an excuse to get out of the party, and Noah can tell. His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t call me out. Mrs. Trask is oblivious to the tension between us. “Hopefully you can make it. We’ll see you girls later. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas.”
Zoey and I stare after Mrs. Trask and Noah as they head inside. Once their door closes, Zoey bursts into giggles again. “Nice boobs? Who says that? In front of their mom, no less.”
I can’t take my eyes off of Noah’s house. I’m still in shock at the entire exchange. “I see what they mean by different. It’s like he’s not even Noah anymore.”
“I’ll say. Inviting us to a party? Us?” She shakes off her surprise and grabs some groceries out of her car again. “You think we should go?”
I finally look at my best friend. “To the party? At Austin’s house? Are you kidding?” There’s no way I’m going to that. I can only imagine the humiliation they’d put me through for showing up.
I hand Mason a couple of lighter bags, then grab the rest. Zoey shuts the trunk and sighs. “You’re probably right.”
Of course I’m right. I don’t care that Noah himself invited me. I’m not going.
Seven o’clock New Year’s Eve, I’m sitting on the couch binging Netflix shows with my mom when there’s a knock at the door. Mason, who’s absorbed in his tablet, gets up to answer it. When he sees it’s Zoey, he lets her in and goes back to playing games. I take one look at her and shake my head emphatically. She’s got several outfits hanging over her arm and is carrying her huge makeup bag. “No. No way. I already told you, I’m not going to the party.”
Zoey gives me an indulging smile. “And I wasn’t going to make you go, but it turns out Noah wasn’t kidding. Everyone is going.”
“That’s even less incentive for me to go.”
My mom perks up. “A party? Lily, you should go. You never get to go out.”
Even Mason puts in his two cents. “You should go, Lily. It’s not fair that you have to babysit me all the time. Mom’s home right now. Go hang out with your friends.”
“They’re not my friends. That’s the problem. Noah hates me.”
It’s Mason, of all people, who argues. “He was nice to you the other day. He’s different now.”
I focus on Zoey, because I can see she’s about to agree with Mason. “But Austin and Brooke aren’t. They’ll still be as horrible as ever.”
Zoey flops down onto the loveseat with a groan. “That’s Austin and Brooke. Two out of the hundred people who will be there.”
“A hundred people who hate me. Are you forgetting what it’s been like for me all year?”
Mom pauses the show and sits up, frowning at me with worry. “Honey, what’s going on? Are you being bullied at school?”
It takes everything I have in me not to snap at her. It’s not her fault she’s so busy that she’s missing my life. I don’t want to give her one more thing to worry about, so I brush it off like it’s no big deal. “It’s nothing, Mom. Some of the popular kids don’t like me, but it’s fine.”
Zoey groans. “It’s not fine. You’ve been cutting yourself off from everyone all year. You’ve shut down, Lily.”
“With good reason.”
Zoey’s frustrated glare surprises me. “Yeah, Austin and Brooke and some of the popular kids give you hell, and that jerk Tyler pushed you away, but that’s only a small part of our class. There are plenty of people at school who always liked you and won’t care that the popular kids give you a hard time. You’d have friends if you’d put yourself back out there, but you don’t. You’re so afraid of being bullied that you close yourself off from everyone. You need to get over it.”
The severity of her tone hurts. I thought she was on my side. She knows how much Austin and Brooke torment me. She knows how everyone in the school has turned their backs on me.
Zoey’s eyes soften. She sets her stuff down and moves to sit beside me, throwing her arm around my shoulders. “I’m not going to let you go through the rest of your senior year like a zombie, numb to life. I shouldn’t have let it go this long, but you were going through so much already, I knew you were overwhelmed.”
My eyes start to burn. “You can have friends if you would just talk to people again,” Zoey murmurs, squeezing me in a side hug. “You used to be so outgoing and friendly. It’s time for that Lily to wake back up. No more hibernating. No more drowning in self-pity.”
I frown at her, but she doesn’t budge an inch. She stares me down with some serious I-mean-business vibes. “You are going to go to the party tonight, and you’re going to talk to people you used to talk to. You’ll avoid Austin and Brooke and mingle with everyone else. People miss you. I miss you.”
I glance at her, startled and confused. “Am I really so different?”
Zoey bites her lip, but nods. “In some ways. It’s like you’ve given up. You never think about yourself anymore. I know you love your brother, but what about you? What do you like to do? What do you want to do with your future? When’s the last time you did something for yourself?”
“She’s right.” My mom’s soft, wobbly voice has me turning her direction, remembering that she’s in the room with me. “I’ve put so much responsibility on you since the divorce. You’ve been a blessing to this family, but you’re still young. You still need to go out and have fun sometimes. Go to the party with Zoey. Be a teenager, for once.”
It’s my mom that breaks me down. I don’t want to go to the party, but I can’t stand the guilt in my mother’s expression. I glance at Mason and only see more guilt. It breaks my heart. “Okay. Fine. I’ll go. But I’m driving myself so that if it turns out to be a disaster, I can leave.”
Zoey beams me a bright smile. “Deal.”
My mom nods without me having to ask. “Take the car. I don’t need it tonight.”
Zoey bounces to her feet and scoops up her stuff from the loveseat. “Fantastic. Let’s go get ready. I bought a new skirt last week that I think will look amazing on you.”
. . . . .
The party is at Austin’s house. He lives in a neighborhood of beautiful, gigantic homes. Every one is custom built instead of the cookie cutter tract homes that Arizona is so fond of. Austin’s house is so big and has so much landscape around it that I’m basically walking up to a mini mansion.
I also feel completely out of place because of the chaos surrounding me. No one exaggerated the size of this party. Cars line the street. Kids and music are spilling out of the house. It’s a scene fit for a teen movie. I’ve never been much of a partier, but the few I attended were nothing like this. “Is this insane or what?” Zoey asks, as awed as I am.
I nod. “Crazy. Most of the senior class is here.”
Hearing the apprehension in my voice, Zoey grips my arm and walks with me into the house. “On the bright side, it’ll be easy to avoid Austin and Brooke and any of their friends.”
“I guess.”
We wade into the crowd, drifting from room to room. I have no idea what we’re doing here. Zoey finds a group of people she knows from choir on the makeshift dance floor in the family room. She blends into the group seamlessly, laughing and dancing. She tries to pull me in, but I’m not much of a dancer to begin with, and I’m not really friends with these people.
I’m surprised when Jensen and Bryce come over to say hi to me. They’ve hardly spoken to me since the whole “Trash” thing started. They’re in a more popular group at school, on the fringes of Austin and Brooke’s group. They had to be careful if they wanted to stay popular, so they avoided me. “Hey, Lily,” Jensen says. “I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you liked to stay away from Austin’s group.”
I shrug. “Noah asked me to come, and Zoey wanted to.”
At the mention of Zoey’s name, his eyes slide to my best friend. I thought he was crushing on her at the beginning of the year, but he didn’t ask her out when she stuck by me through the popular kids’ ridicule. Maybe he’s ready to get over it. She notices him, and his face lights up. “Hey, Zoey,” he says.
“If it isn’t the hottest guy in school,” she says in response.
She’s always been flirty with him. When Jensen realizes nothing has changed between them, he flirts back, and that’s it—they forget everyone around them. That leaves Bryce and me standing there with nothing to say to each other. He gives me an awkward smile and then looks around the room. I’m pretty sure he’d rather be anywhere else right now. I don’t bother to make small talk. I don’t much care for him or Jensen anymore. It was spineless of them to drop Zoey and me because Brooke and Austin made fun of us.
Bryce finally breaks the silence. “So…um…did you say Noah asked you to come tonight?”
I nod once. “I know. Stranger things have happened, but not many.”
A tiny smile flicks across Bryce’s face, but it’s gone quickly. I give him the explanation he’s hoping for, even though he’d never ask. “We’re neighbors. Zoey and I ran into him last week, and he told us we should come.” I shrug again. “Here we are.”
Interest sparks in Bryce’s eyes. “So you talked to him? What was that like? Everyone says he’s super different now, and he’s been so reclusive.”
I don’t feel comfortable gossiping about Noah. He is different. Very different. There’s something almost innocent about him that surprisingly has my protective instincts kicking in. Maybe because I know how hard it’s been on his whole family. I pity them. But Bryce is waiting for a response, so I keep it vague and say, “Obviously he’s different if he invited me to his party.”
Bryce finally relaxes and laughs.
Speaking of the devil, Noah comes downstairs with Austin and Brooke trailing behind him. None of them look very happy. Austin scrounges up some Tylenol in the kitchen for Noah. Noah washes it down with a bottle of water. Everyone in the house gawks at him like he’s some kind of sideshow freak. When he’s done swallowing the pills, he looks around and notices everyone staring. Frustration flits across his face. For a heartbeat, everything pauses, then he says something to Austin and heads out the front door. Austin starts to follow him, but Brooke pulls on his hand. She drags him into the crowd in the family room and starts dancing. Austin looks over his shoulder toward the door, but gives in and starts dancing with Brooke. After a moment, they start to kiss. I wonder if Noah knows about them. They hooked up a few months ago. It was the hottest gossip for weeks. Maybe that’s why Noah was upset and left the house. Maybe he caught them.
As the two of them make out on the dance floor, the party goes back to normal. When I turn around, Bryce is now talking with other friends and Zoey and Jensen are dancing with each other. I’m alone in a sea of people. I knew this would happen. Zoey would hang out with me if I asked her to, but she deserves a night of fun, so I don’t bother her. Let her stop worrying about me for once and dance with the boy she likes.
After hunting down a soda in the kitchen, I lean against the counter and watch the party going on around me. There’s no one in here I’d like to talk to. Zoey’s right. I’ve become a loner. Right now, I’m not sure I care. It’s time for me to go home.
I make my way across the room to tell Zoey I’m out. I’m so focused on how much I don’t want to be here, that I don’t see Brooke and Austin until it’s too late. “Hey! Who let the trash in?” Brooke cackles, swaying a little in her drunken state.
Austin pushes in front of me. “What are you doing here, Trash? You aren’t welcome in my house.”
My heart rate picks up. I hate that these two can get to me so easily. I hate that I’m scared of them. “I’m leaving,” I mutter.
Time to get out. Now. I whirl around, ready to run for the door, but as I step away from them, Brooke or Austin—I don’t know which—sticks out their foot to trip me. I go crashing down and hit my head on a coffee table. A small gash pops open, and blood starts dripping into my eye.
“Lily!” Zoey screams. She rushes over to me, and Jensen finds some napkins. Zoey takes them and pushes them to the cut on my head.
All around me people are pointing, staring, laughing, or looking at me with pity. Brooke sounds like a hyena, but Austin has a guilty look on his face. I guess I know who tripped me.
I’m humiliated, I’m frustrated, and my head is throbbing. In my distress, I lash out at my best friend. I’ll feel bad about it later, but right now I can’t control my emotions. “I told you I shouldn’t come tonight! Are you happy now?”
Zoey’s face pales. “I’m sorry. You were right. Let’s go home.”
“No.” I glare at her. “I don’t want to be around you right now.” It’s harsh, but I can’t stop. “I’m going home by myself. You stay and enjoy the party.”
I get to my feet with the napkins still plastered to my forehead and storm out of the house. If Zoey calls out to me, the sound is lost in the noise of the party.
I slam the front door and gulp in a few big breaths. I pull the soaked napkin from my forehead, but I’m still bleeding. The cut probably isn’t that bad; heads bleed a lot. But I’m sure I look like something out of a horror movie.
“Lily! What happened to you?”
I know the voice, and I whirl on Noah, glaring as hard as I can. “You happened!” I scream. “This is all your fault!”
He shrinks back at the force of my anger. He’s confused and looks hurt by my accusation. It makes no sense, not that I care. Noah Trask destroyed my life.
“My fault?” he asks.
The genuine lack of understanding only makes me angrier. “Yes, your fault, you jerk!”
I stomp down the front path and head for my car.
“Lily, wait!” Noah gently grips my shoulder, stopping me. I glare at the boy who followed me, but it doesn’t faze him. “Let…me…” He shakes his head in frustration. “Let me…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence. It’s like he can’t. Before I can guess what he’s trying to say, he whips off the button-up shirt he has on over a white T-shirt and wipes the blood off my face with it. He removes the blood-soaked napkin from my cut and presses his shirt to my head. I’m so shocked I can’t move. I just stand there while he gives me his version of first aid. The rage that was flowing through me seconds ago is replaced by surprise and confusion. Why would he help me?
After a moment, he pulls the shirt away from my head and gives me a soft smile. “Already stapling,” he says, pressing the shirt to my wound again.
I have no idea what he means, but I don’t ask him because I’m standing only inches from him and it’s distracting. We’ve never been this close. He’s invading my space to the point that we’re almost pressed together. His warm breath brushes my neck. His cologne floods my senses. Together it’s enough to make me close my eyes and breathe deeply. A shiver runs up my spine, and then I remember that it’s Noah Trask giving my body the good kind of tingles. My eyes fly open, and I step back with a gasp. “Stop. Leave me alone.”
Noah’s arm falls to his side, and he frowns. “Why are you so mad at me? What did I do?”
That brings me fully out of our moment, and I laugh so bitterly it tastes like acid. “You’re kidding, right? The whole trash thing doesn’t ring a bell?”
Noah rakes a hand through his hair and gives me a helpless look. “I don’t remember.”
I pause. Does he really have no idea? “You don’t remember the night of your accident?”
