...with a splash of Kay, page 17
“If she lived in Austin, I’d offer her a role too!” Myra added. “Was nice meeting you ladies, but I’ve got another party to head to. Kay, I’ll be in touch with you and Samantha by Tuesday. Let me talk to my team first, but I can’t iterate enough: You nailed it.” She patted me on the shoulder and waved goodbye to us all.
“Come, let’s have a drink!” Lilly suggested. She pulled me to the bar, where there were a few Brunchies sitting atop it.
“So, you like the new branding?” I asked her, showing off the Hail Mary can.
“They seriously look so great! So much better than in Austin. I actually want to drink it now!” We both laughed
“Well, thank you.” I bowed my head to insinuate it was my idea.
“You did this? Look at you, girl!”
“After our night in Austin, I pitched Myra, and this party is my attempt to show them LaToulle should be their PR firm. But my boss never showed,” I admitted.
“No way! All the more reason to take Tiffany up on her offer. She is just a delight to work for. You need someone like her to be your champion, your mentor. I’ll make sure there’s a meeting arranged for you two.” I smiled, envisioning what it’d be like to leave LaToulle. I’d held on to the prospect of a promotion for so long that the thought of leaving hadn’t crossed my mind before.
Lilly and I opted for a real cocktail next, which quickly became two, and the next thing I knew, the rooftop was cheering, “Sisi! Sisi!” We checked the crowd only to find Sisi in the middle of it, shimmying with the burlesque dancers. I laughed out loud with Lilly, then Sisi spotted me. She motioned her finger as if I should join her, which would not be happening, no matter how many drinks I’d had. I slipped toward the back of everyone to hide.
I steeped my shoulders into my ears, sipped my drink, and looked out over the rooftop. With the red, white, and blue lights illuminating the sky and everyone wearing skimpier outfits in the summer haze, Lola’s had transformed into an erotic venue, as if its reputation as an elite lounge normalized the seduction induced atmosphere in the air tonight. Just in time, the fireworks started. I turned with the crowd to watch when I felt someone next to me.
“I like your outfit.” It was Noah, looking at me with a smile in his eyes but not on his mouth. I felt unshielded, like when he trailed behind me on the stairs the other day. Only this time, in Lola’s erotic haze, I was more tempted than ever before. The thought of being intimate with him again flushed my mind.
“Kay! You should have joined me out there!” Sisi said, interrupting mine and Noah’s gaze. She glistened with sweat, her hair messy, and her fake eyelash shifted off her eyelid. I looked at her like, Yeah, right.
“So, you’re keeping the party going then?” I asked her.
“No way! It’s gone on long enough. The fireworks are over, and I want these people out soon.”
“What? After all that shimmying?”
“Definitely. I’ve revealed enough tonight. So, they don’t have to go home, but by eleven, they’ve got to get the hell out of here!” The timing worked out perfectly because I needed to meet Olivia downtown. I tried Sisi one more time.
“Sure you don’t want to come with me to Liv’s party?”
“Hmm…” Sisi pretended to contemplate my question. “Nah!”
“Where are you going?” Noah asked.
“You two keep chatting. I think the burlesque performers want their cash.” When Sisi stepped away, I told Noah about Olivia’s party.
“Do you want to go?” The moment I asked, I wondered if I’d regret it.
“Yeah, I’ll come.”
And for the second time tonight, I felt like I was cheating.
Shaken… and Stirred
* * *
There is something euphoric about knowing you have a man’s attention as if you’re the only woman to exist in his orbit. That’s how I felt with Noah in the cab on our way to Tap. Being tipsy only amplified it.
On opposite sides of the backseat, Noah placed his hand on my left thigh and squeezed it gently. I couldn’t resist putting my hand on top of his. We rested our heads back and tilted them toward each other. He had a look of insatiable desire in his eyes.
We’d been together many times before, but this time felt different. Like we both wanted to share everything about ourselves—our romances, needs, and what we desired in bed—in a way we never had. But we couldn’t. We arrived at Tap too soon.
“All right, you two, this is it,” the driver muffled in a raspy voice. Noah led me out of the car first and placed his hand on my lower back. I basked in the moment, knowing, for right now, I was his.
Tap had a speakeasy vibe, with its entranceway masked by a decadent flower shop storefront filled with roses, hydrangeas, and snake plants. Olivia added me to the VIP list, which waived my entry fee, though the real treat was bypassing the line of people wrapped around the building. A hostess guarding the private door so many waited to enter let us in right away.
Inside the lounge, antique wallpaper wrapped the walls in varying shades of a sepia tone. The couches were a deep plum color. Above them, rose gold mirrors. The music was electric—a variation of Brazilian jazz and house music. But there was also another glaring feature at tonight’s event. Searching for Olivia and Bryan, I saw Brunchies on every table, beautifully placed in all-white ice buckets.
“Kay, here!” Olivia spotted me in the crowd. She led Noah and me to her table, where she handed us the newly rebranded Brunchies cans.
“How did you get these here?” I asked, totally perplexed.
“Oh, Bryan did! I told him they hadn’t signed with LaToulle, so he pitched Myra as a potential client, but at a much lower fee. Actually, you just missed her! She stopped by for a little bit but left.” I stood silent, dumbfounded in disbelief by her nonchalant, almost braggy, response. “I know, right? You think she’d stay longer, but apparently, this ‘wasn’t her scene,’” Olivia said, airing quotation marks with her index and middle fingers. “I mean, come on. Look how good it all looks. I know we don’t have all the bells and whistles like LaToulle, but we tried! We even hired a photographer! Anyway, come, I want you to meet everyone!”
Before I could ask any questions, she brought Noah and me to her table, poured us both a huge shot, and introduced her new friends and cast members from her upcoming show. I didn’t know how to feel about any of it. On one hand, Brunchies wasn’t my client yet. On the other, Olivia swooped them up from under me without so much as a mention.
I headed to the bathroom to collect my thoughts, but as I made my way through the crowd, I felt a tight grip on my arm. It was Noah, visibly more intoxicated but handsome as ever.
“Where are you going?” He pulled me toward him to dance. There we were, in the crowd, away from everyone else, embracing our inner desire. He spun me around to face him and pulled me close to his body. His smirk faded, and his demeanor changed. I didn’t have a moment to resist. And, truly, I didn’t want to. The music slowed, and so did we. He pressed his body against mine, and I weakened. I wanted more.
“I’m glad you came,” I said.
“I wanted to spend more time with you,” he responded. The music rose, and strobe lights lit up the otherwise pitch-black room. I faced the other way, my back on Noah. The beat dropped, and the crowd began jumping. The lights beamed all over. In one moment, I could see the room; the next, I was blinded.
Noah grabbed my waist and spun me toward him again. We went still as the crowd moved around us. He grabbed my chin and lightly raised my head. I looked into his eyes as the lights flickered on and off his face. I had never had more lust for someone before. I completely forgot about Brunchies.
He continued to stare, and it felt as if time had stopped. His eyes pierced through me, and a jolt of ecstasy ran through my body. He leaned in further, his kiss deep, passionate, and lasting for what felt like a minute. The room spun around us as his hands gripped my back tighter. I could feel him on me. It made me quiver. Excited for everything that could be, forgetting about what was. I wanted so much more, but he stopped me.
“I shouldn’t do this,” he said.
What?
“I’m seeing someone, and I think it could be serious. Sorry, Kay.” He walked off the dance floor and left me alone, shocked, among the strangers around me. Unsure of what to do, I walked back to Olivia’s table. I joined them for another shot and shook it off. Noah had always been unattainable. What made tonight any different?
“Where were you? Come dance!” Olivia said.
“Um, just one second.” I grabbed my phone to decompress for a moment. I had a missed call from Milo. Of course. I held my index finger and pinky to my ear and motioned my lips to Olivia, Need to make a call. But before I could, Bryan joined the table.
“I was wondering when you’d get here. Was that your boyfriend out there?” Shit. I guess someone did see me. My face must have conveyed my anxiety because Bryan changed the subject. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know. I just assumed… Um, hey, thanks for passing on Brunchies, they’re a killer team, and I got a nice commission out of it.” Bryan was clearly oblivious to Olivia’s antics, but I wasn’t. She used Brunchies, at my expense, to get closer to him.
“Kay makes pennies at LaToulle! You should get her a job!” Olivia interrupted. “She even needs to bartend on the side. It’s so awful.” What the fuck, Olivia.
“That’s so cool. You work in the industry too! I didn’t know you could do that. I’d bartend if I could. Bet you make great money.” At least Bryan had a decent enough response to all of this, but it didn’t excuse the situation I found us both in.
“Ha, yeah.”
Without another word, I went to the bathroom, this time to pee. Then, I planned to leave. Why didn’t I listen to Sisi?
While I waited in line, I peeked at the DJ stand only to notice a familiar face. Adam. Of course.
He saw me, too, and he wasted no time coming over.
“Hey, stranger,” he said, his masculine voice penetrating, his words landing softly amid the high-energy crowd. “Didn’t think I’d see you here.”
“Oh, hey. Olivia told me to come.” I reciprocated with kindness, remembering I hadn’t responded to his last message. Then, my phone rang again. It was Milo
“Is that the new guy?” Adam asked, looking at my phone light up in my hand.
“Yeah, maybe.” I smiled uncomfortably. Adam looked at me like, I hope you don’t answer, before he put his arm around my shoulders. I smelled his body wash, the same one I used when I stayed at his apartment. In an instance, I was taken back to our spontaneous date nights.
“I missed you,” he said. I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, the yearning for physical touch outside of Milo’s, or my lack of self-restraint for Adam, but I let him take me behind the DJ booth. I stayed there the rest of the night and didn’t return Milo’s call. I was doing to him what so many guys had done to me but lacked the sympathy to fester on it anymore tonight. I shot him a simple text instead.
Kay: Busy night at Lola’s! Talk tomorrow, have fun <3.
With my better sense out the window, I joined Adam at his apartment after Tap. Being there felt foreign yet familiar. We sat on his dark couch with the lights dim, and the aroma from his wax candle consumed the air. Adam crept his hand over my blue shorts, under my shirt, and up my belly. He leaned in and kissed me as he put his other arm around my back. My body shivered. I was instantly wet.
I laid my body back, and Adam extended his other arm to turn on the record player. Smooth R & B played around us as his tongue met mine. Slowly, his body climbed on top of me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and moved them down his upper back. His waist moved above mine. His hardness rubbed over my thigh and then onto my center. Adam slowly gelled into me, and I swore my wetness seeped through my shorts, which he quickly pulled down as I took off his shirt.
In a swift motion, Adam lifted me from the couch to his bed a few feet over. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my arms gripped his bare back while he pulled us down. I loved to feel his back and neck as he nestled in my chest. I undid his pants and pulled them down slightly to his thighs before pushing them off completely with my foot. His briefs were the only thing between us. I couldn’t bear the wait any longer, so I took them off and pushed myself toward his bareness. He was so hard. It made me want him right away.
But he made me wait. He got up to pull out a mirror from behind his wardrobe, which he propped up next to the bed, positioning it in front of us. Undressed, I couldn’t help but think, Has he done this before?
Without time to dwell, his hardness was back on top of me. Only this time, I could see everything I was feeling. We watched ourselves until I climaxed, and he quickly after.
“You’re so hot,” he muttered. I ran to the bathroom to avoid a UTI. When I came back to his king bed, I saw him asleep. I rolled my eyes and lay down next to him. I checked my phone to see I had three more messages.
Milo: Just let me know you got home okay.
Milo: Kay?
Milo: Okay, I’m home. Guess we’ll just talk tomorrow.
I wondered how I managed to have a romantic night by textbook standards, only to feel isolated, alone, and used—all as I lay next to someone else. I slid my phone on the nightstand and dozed off.
—
The sunlight woke me the next morning, almost hitting me harder than the guilt. Hungover and tired, I rolled over to see Adam sprawled across the bed. With him, I felt so alone, palpable as I stumbled across the apartment to the bathroom. Men’s face wash. Anything to cleanse myself.
When I came out, Adam was up and watering his plants as if nothing were out of the ordinary. Like I stayed with him often, and this was routine.
“You’re up.” His deep voice was less appealing today.
“I’m up.” I found my clothes layered next to the bed. I’d have to wear last night’s holiday attire this early morning. “Do you water them every morning?” I asked, hoping to soften the tension that potentially only I felt.
“Plants do need water.” He lifted his eyebrows and continued tilting the water can toward them. I knew they meant more to him than I did.
“Where are you going?” He asked when I walked to his front door.
“I have a lot to do today.” I turned the doorknob to leave.
“Hey, wait a sec,” he said. I turned back and gave him a moment to initiate something. But nothing. I got nothing. Months later, and I still couldn’t get a read on Adam. I attempted to open the door again. He stopped me again, this time extending his hand down my right arm and around my waist, toward him, signaling not to leave.
“As much as I would have loved this before, I really need to go, Adam. This isn’t what I want.” I was proud of my directness, regardless of how it came out.
After I left, Adam watched me walk down the hall, like the way he watched me the first time we met. Only this time, I wanted no part in it. In a mere few hours, any lust I had for Adam was gone. In fact, I couldn’t wait for Milo to come home.
Hangover
* * *
New York City is always a ghost town during the Fourth of July weekend, but this year its silence fell on me. I was left to obsess over my upcoming meeting with Samantha, Olivia’s aloofness, and my conflicted feelings about Milo.
On Tuesday, when Milo returned from his trip and still hadn’t made plans with me, I asked him to spend the night. He told me it’d been a long, long weekend, and he needed rest. I assumed he felt some type of way about my screening his call and subsequent messages on Saturday. Otherwise, I imagine he would be more excited to see me. Suppose I only had myself to blame for that.
At LaToulle, I refocused my attention, because today I had my meeting with Samantha. I was eager to tell her about the Brunchies party, otherwise known as “the calm before my weekend storm.” Then, as it became routine, Andre interjected beforehand.
“I saw you had a fun weekend.” What could he possibly be talking about? “You know, at the party.”
“Which party?” I tried not to be defensive, but Andre loved knowing more than others around him, and this felt invasive.
“The Brunchies party. I saw the photos. You looked great.” Shoot. The photographer. But which event, and who sent Samantha photos?
“Can you send me what you saw?” I asked him.
“Oh, sweetie. I can’t do that. They’re Samantha’s private emails.”
“Seriously?” My tone dropped along with my head.
“Well, I can walk away and let you use my desktop.” I hated that he dangled this over me. It was almost time for my rescheduled meeting with Samantha, but this was essential, so I gave in. Andre opened the file before “grabbing a tea,” so I was left with his computer. In the attachment, there were seven hundred-plus photos from Tap. I could have died.
One by one, I scrolled through. Photo one hundred fifty-one, I appeared for the first time. There I was, walking in with Noah. Okay, not bad. And there was another photo, one hundred eighty-four through one hundred eighty-six. Olivia and I were getting ready to take a photo, taking a photo, then talking to one another postphoto. Okay, still not bad.
I continued scrolling into the mid-three hundreds. “Wait, Kay, go back,” Andre said, peering over my shoulder unexpectedly. I guess his tea run was over. I scrolled back slowly through a few photos. “Right there,” he said.
“What?” All I saw were people smiling in front of the dance floor.
“Oooh, he is cute, girl.” Andre pointed to the very corner of the photo. I wasn’t sure how he spotted me, but there I was, kissing Noah.
