Before I Let You Go, page 2
Gnawing on her bottom lip, Elsbeth picked up the watch and scrolled through messages from his colleagues and friends. There was nothing that would suggest he was having an affair. She was about to give up when she came across a message from a woman named Tilly that made her stomach turn.
I had a great time today, baby. I think the entire hotel heard us scream. Same time next week?
A cry escaped Elsbeth's lips, and she folded at the waist, gripping her thighs, inhaling as much air as possible. Jeff had mentioned a woman named Tilly in passing when he explained why his meetings ran late on Wednesday afternoons. Elsbeth had no idea he was staying behind to fuck this girl.
Elsbeth’s mouth dried with a combination of nausea and determination as she scrolled through more explicit messages between Jeff and Tilly, the conversations going back months. The betrayal left a bitter taste in Elsbeth’s mouth. The more she read, the sicker she felt. Jeff had lied to her about working back late or attending urgent client meetings on Sunday afternoon. She wished she’d made more of an effort to be friendly with his co-workers. She could use their insight right about now.
Footsteps sounded in the hall, so she placed the watch back on its cradle and dressed. She ran her hands over her body, deciding whether to wear something else. The garment was spoiled now, a symbol of infidelity.
Elsbeth's lip was coiled with disgust as Jeff entered the bedroom, his gaze lustfully dragging up and down her body.
“You look amazing,” he exclaimed, slapping her on the bottom. “We'll go dancing after dinner. There's a hot little club a few streets from the restaurant.”
Elsbeth feigned a smile and stepped into the bathroom to do her hair and makeup. In the mirror, she saw Jeff pick up his smartwatch, his eyebrows cinching together in a second of panic.
“Babe, did my watch receive a text message while I was outside?” he asked. “I don't think it's syncing with my cell.”
Smearing on red lipstick, Elsbeth sneered at her reflection in the mirror. “No, I didn't hear anything.” She zipped up her makeup bag. “Who were you talking to?”
Jeff shrugged into his suit jacket. “It was the office. I must go in early tomorrow morning.”
Elsbeth sucked in a pacifying breath and ran a brush through her auburn hair. Her gut was heavy. Perhaps Jeff planned tonight to come clean about Tilly. Elsbeth wondered if she was strong enough to accept it and move on ... again. She tossed her cell phone and keys into her purse and followed Jeff out of the bedroom.
Thirty minutes later, Elsbeth sat in Jeff's BMW M2 Coupe, squirming in her thigh-high Gucci dress that no longer made her feel desirable. Not to mention, the fabric was sheer and barely there, providing little coverage from the frigid air-conditioning blasting from the vents. She lamented to herself about forgetting to grab her wrap hanging on the back of the chair in the kitchen.
“Quit playing with the hem,” Jeff scolded, taking his eyes off the road. “It won't go any lower.”
“I forget how short it is.”
“It’s the perfect length. You look very sexy.” He reached over and slid his hand between her knees. “The sales assistant said it's one of their bestsellers after some actress wore it on the red carpet.”
Her stomach tumbled, wondering if he had used that hand to caress Tilly. “Perhaps if I was nineteen,” Elsbeth mumbled. Nibbling on her thumbnail, she caught glimpses of the colorful, bustling city. She couldn't stop thinking about Tilly's texts.
Elsbeth stole a glance at Jeff as they drove in silence. His perfectly sculptured profile was cast in orange light as the sun dipped below the horizon. Over the course of their relationship, Elsbeth had accepted and buried any doubts she had over his behavior. His job was tedious and stressful, and there were nights he would come over so drunk he couldn't make it to bed. Another woman's perfume always lingered on his clothes and was dismissed as a co-worker’s. Now, Elsbeth had proof of his infidelity. Would it be an easier pill to swallow if Jeff ended things?
“How much further?” she asked.
“We're here.”
He pulled up outside a restaurant named Balaban. A valet, dressed in a black suit, circled the car, and Jeff handed him the keys. A large glass window—speckled with glowing lights—revealed a beautiful restaurant inside: clean and white, with golden accents on the walls.
Elsbeth followed Jeff through the glass front doors. Balaban was bustling. Servers juggling plates of French cuisine weaved between the tables, passing out glorious plates of food and opulent drinks. A grand, crystal chandelier hung from a pylon in the middle of the room. The crisp aroma of freshly baked baguettes, exotic seafood boiling in the kitchen, and tangy cheese welcomed the pair.
As she followed the server to their table, Elsbeth wished she wore something a little less revealing. A black cocktail dress this short was hardly appropriate for a fancy restaurant. More than a few people glanced her way. Secretly praying for a dark corner table, she was disappointed when they were seated in the middle of the room. She lowered into the chair as gracefully as possible, keeping her knees together.
Once they were seated, the server handed out menus. “Can I start you off with a wine?”
Your best Pinot Noir,” Jeff said, not giving the drinks menu a second glance. “It’s my girlfriend’s favorite. Price is no factor.”
“Pinot Noir starts at three hundred dollars a bottle, sir.”
“It doesn't matter. I want your best one.”
It seemed like Jeff was anxious to make tonight special. He exuded nervous energy that broke his bravado. He fiddled with the cufflinks on his custom Armani suit and absently checked his platinum Rolex that winked in the soft light. Their relationship had always been a one-way street, and Elsbeth was sick of running in the opposite direction.
“See anything you like?” Jeff asked.
Elsbeth averted her gaze to the menu. “The duck confit looks nice.”
“Have you had it before?”
“This is the first time we've gone to a fancy restaurant, Jeff,” she replied. “In all the years we've been dating, the most lavish place you've taken me is Dune outside the city. Even then, it wasn’t as flashy as this place.”
“I'm hoping to change that.”
The server returned with two wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Noir. He expertly poured the burgundy liquid into the glasses and left the bottle on the table.
Jeff lifted his glass in a toast. “To us, baby. To the ups and downs and what may lay ahead.”
Elsbeth smiled and clinked her glass with his, wondering what he had planned aside from a nice dinner. Seeing the other servers sneaking glances their way was unnerving. Elsbeth and Jeff were the literal center of attention, and she didn't like it. She gnawed g on her bottom lip until most of her lipstick was gone.
A server appeared at their table, holding a miniature tablet. “How can I help you tonight?”
Elsbeth scanned the menu for something that wouldn’t induce a stomachache later. “Can I please have the duck with the spiced vegetables?”
The young man nodded and slewed his gaze to Jeff. “And for you, sir?”
“Steak tartare.”
“Very good, sir.” The server entered the meals into his device and returned to the kitchen.
It didn’t take long for dinner to arrive at the table, and Elsbeth didn’t wait for Jeff, as she hastily dug into the succulent duck and spiced vegetables, famished from her day in the garden.
While she savored the fatty texture of the duck on her tongue, she noticed Jeff’s meal sat uneaten. He’d gone quiet, glancing at his watch and patting his breast pocket. He did it so often that it started to annoy her.
“Jeff, what's wrong?” she probed. “You need to be somewhere else?”
“Um, what? No, sorry.” He flicked his gaze to the host standing by the kitchen and back to Elsbeth. “I have something to talk to you about.”
As a bottle of vintage Moet was brought to the table, Jeff got out of his chair and knelt beside Elsbeth, capturing her hand with trembling fingers.
“Oh, Jesus,” Elsbeth muttered.
She felt the heat of a thousand eyes on her as she glanced down at Jeff, his face full of fearful optimism. Around her, it appeared as though the entire restaurant had stilled. Even the music had softened.
“Baby, I know I haven't been the best boyfriend. I've forgotten anniversaries and birthdays. I spend too much time at work. But I want to be better for you.” He produced a black velvet box from his inner breast pocket and opened it.
The diamond ring almost blinded Elsbeth. The single princess-cut stone was clear and breathtaking, and the size of a marble. She touched the ring delicately, checking if it was real. Her chest ached, and she realized she'd been holding her breath. When she exhaled, he let out a breath too. A week ago, this would have been the best night of her life. Tonight, it was a poor attempt to cover up his cheating.
“What do you say?” he asked.
She glanced from the ring to his anxious eyes, Tilly's texts echoing in her memory. “No.”
Jeff's eyebrows snapped together. “What?”
Elsbeth gathered her purse from the table and pushed her chair back. Whispers settled upon the restaurant. Jeff was still on one knee, humiliation simmering behind his eyes.
“What do you mean no?” he hissed.
“I know about Tilly.” She glared at him.
Jeff's face drained of color. “She ... she's a nobody, baby. She doesn't mean anything to me.”
“I think earth-shattering sex means something, Jeff. I know about your hotel rendezvous. You lied to me.” The entire restaurant had now stilled, listening. “This isn't going to work. I thought you brought me here to break up with me, and that would’ve been better. You’re not going to stop cheating once we’re married. I’ve tried my hardest to accept you the way you are, but I deserve better.” She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “I wish you the best in life, Jeff. I really do. I hope Tilly is the one for you.”
Elsbeth hesitated briefly, taking a moment to inhale his homely scent, then left the restaurant without glancing back. Tonight marked the beginning of a fresh start, and she wanted to celebrate. She crossed the street to a diner and ordered a plate of cherry pie with lots of ice cream. As she savored the dessert, Elsbeth knew there would be fallout to face in the morning. Jeff wasn’t a man to take no for an answer ... even if he was humiliated. However, there was plenty of time to worry about the future. For now, there was pie.
She removed her cell from her purse and called Meaghan. Her best friend answered after one ring.
“So, when’s the big day?”
“It's not going to happen.”
“Oh no, what went wrong?”
Elsbeth glanced at her naked ring finger and pictured the princess-cut gem blinking in the fluorescent light. “I said no. He was cheating on me, Meaghan.”
Meaghan gasped. “I’m sorry, babe. You’ve had suspicions for a while.”
“I confronted him about it,” Elsbeth said, pushing the pie remains around her plate. “He didn’t deny it. I can’t be with someone who sneaks behind my back.”
“Listen, where are you? Do you need me to pick you up?”
Elsbeth glanced around the busy diner. She preferred the ambience here rather than Balaban. People were friendly and laid back, non-judgemental. No one questioned her skimpy little black dress. “I’m at a diner opposite the restaurant. Balaban is a forty-minute drive from your place. I can catch a cab.”
“Nonsense. I’m grabbing my keys now,” Meaghan replied. “I don’t want Jeff to think you’ll come crawling back for a ride home. Stay inside the diner. I’ll be there soon.” Keys jingled down the line. “Let’s have a drink tomorrow night and talk about Jeff. We can try that new club IceCube.”
Elsbeth mused her options. She could stay at home, crying in a bathtub eating ice cream from a tub, or get drunk to forget her ex. “Okay, I’m in.”
CHAPTER 3
Meaghan tossed back her fourth Margarita that evening. “I can't believe you did it in a full restaurant!” she gushed. “He's an attention-seeking man, but not for that kind of attention!”
Resting her chin in one hand, Elsbeth picked at the wax coating on the worn timber table. She hadn't stopped thinking about him, her guilt consuming every waking moment. The past few weeks had been torturous. She knew this would happen after the adrenaline subsided. She probably made the biggest mistake of her life.
“Have you heard from him?” Meaghan asked, nibbling on the end of her straw.
“I tried calling this morning, but it went straight to voicemail. He doesn't want to talk to me.”
“Maybe it's for the best. Regrettable things are said when you're angry, and Jeff can be cruel when he's upset. He's bitter and humiliated. Give him some space.”
“Tilly wasn't the only reason I rejected his proposal,” Elsbeth admitted, quietly. “It's been a long time since I felt a spark. I owe him some sort of explanation. I thought he was going to break up with me. A proposal was the last thing I expected.” She buried her face in her hands. “Ugh, what was I thinking?”
“Jeff cheated on you! Stop blaming the victim. You've had doubts for months and the text messages confirmed your suspicions. How long has he been sleeping with this chick?”
“I don't want to think about it.”
“Listen, Jeff's a chauvinistic, selfish man who's always valued greed over love. Don't give him a second thought. He has loads of money to keep him warm at night.” She squeezed Elsbeth's hand lovingly. “You're courageous for what you did. It may not seem like it now, but it was the best thing for you. You've dodged a bullet.”
Elsbeth shut her eyes and grimaced at the memory of Jeff's face. The humiliation and anger were ingrained in her brain. “I regret doing it so publicly. I chose the wrong place to tell him how I felt.”
“Enough with the self-pity,” Meaghan ordered. “I'm getting you another drink. You've been nursing that gin and tonic for an hour.” She waved down the barman and ordered another round. Elsbeth. studied her reflection in the mirrored wall behind the bar. She looked like any other woman at the club, with dark hair neatly brushed, dressed to impress in a short blue dress and crimson lips. Her guilt and shame were invisible beneath the facade she had created for tonight’s adventure.
She smacked her lips when the barman placed her drink in front of her and drowned the gin with a groan. She needed something to numb the pain. Elsbeth tolerated the cramped bar and loud music because Meaghan wanted to have a good time. To be a good friend.
“I told you going out would be the best thing for you,” her friend quipped, lazily sipping on her margarita, her glazed eyes half closed. “The drinks are on me tonight. You can stay at my place so you don't have to drive home.”
“How much do you think I'll drink?”
“Enough to blur Jeff's face from your memory.” Meaghan slapped the bar until she caught the attention of the barman. “Keep the alcohol flowing! My friend needs to forget about her man!”
Elsbeth drummed her fingers along the bar. Drunk Meaghan was right. Elsbeth wanted a night where she was emancipated from thoughts of Jeff. She owed herself that. Just then her cell phone vibrated in her purse, and for a fleeting second, she hoped it was him. When she saw Mom on the screen, Elsbeth welcomed the chance to slip away. The crisp night air was a respite from the suffocating heat inside the club.
“Hi, Mom, are you all right?”
“Darling, why would you say that?”
“It's eleven o'clock and you're normally in bed with a half-drunk glass of wine on the nightstand.”
A soft chuckle emanated down the line. “There's no shame in enjoying a cheeky glass of wine while you read a good book,” Carol said. “I've done it for years.”
“I'm not judging.”
A group of women spilled out from the club, laughing and squealing down the street. Elsbeth sunk against the wall of the building, turning her back on the entrance.
“Where are you?” Carol asked.
“I'm having a few drinks with Meaghan. It's an overdue girls’ night out.”
“I'm glad you're spending time with your friend. It's important. Life can be so fleeting these days.”
A bolt of dread rocked through Elsbeth. She gripped the cell phone, recognizing the desiccated tone in her mom's voice. “What's happened? Is Dad okay?”
“Your father is fine, Elsbeth,” she replied. “He's still got some time left in him. Though I have some unfortunate news. Do you remember your great-aunt Lorraine Gillis?”
“Of course. Is she coming over to visit?”
“Honey, I'm afraid she's passed away. I received an email from her solicitor, Ben Harper. About four weeks ago, Lorraine fell during the night and hit her head on the dresser. A concerned friend from the mainland found her the following morning.”
Lorraine Gillis was a distant figure in Elsbeth's life. Any photographs of her were buried deep in old albums, so Elsbeth could only rely on memory. She recalled a woman with cherry-red hair adorned with feathers and jewelry, and a cigarette dangling from wind-chapped lips. Lorraine Gillis had lived in isolation, five miles off the coast of Guernsey, on a remote coastal islet surrounded by choppy waters. She never married or had children.
“I'm sorry about Lorraine.”
Elsbeth’s mother cleared her throat. “Honey, there's something else. Mr. Harper sent over her will. When can you come home? I need to discuss it with you.”
The doors to the club burst open and Meaghan appeared from the darkness, her eyes wide with panic. She found Elsbeth by the wall and breathed an audible sigh of relief. She lit a cigarette from the confines of her purse and smoked as Elsbeth continued her conversation.
“What's in the will?” Elsbeth begged her mother.
“Lorraine's left you something quite substantial.”
Elsbeth's interest immediately spiked, and she squeezed Meaghan's arm excitedly. “Like what? I hardly knew her.”
