Murder Most Fancy, page 37
A Symphysodon discus is a type of fish.
Esmerelda and I met Bailly for breakfast at The Cranky Baker. I asked her about the mermaid skeleton. She claimed it was an elaborate early Halloween trick perpetrated by a group of her UNSW medical students (it turned out Bailly was also a professor) who thought it amusing to tease her about her fondness for marine life. We all agreed that those students were not friends and Esmerelda encouraged Bailly to provide them with grades that were equally unamusing.
While Esmerelda and Bailly were at the counter ordering bear claws and raisin toast Esmerelda discovered she earned more than Bailly. I really needed to find out how much Esmerelda was paid. Regardless, I felt that a woman with an undergraduate degree, a medical degree and two, soon to be three, doctorates, should not be earning less than a personal shopper, so I offered her a job as a consultant. An Heiress never knows when she might need the help of a forensic pathologist. Or a marine forensic scientist. Especially an Heiress as accident-prone as me. She accepted on the condition she could run all the tests she wanted.
Perhaps Esmerelda was right. Perhaps I did need to learn how to spend my money better. I started by anonymously paying for Terence Lopez’s funeral. And mortgage.
Grandmother collected all the NDAs, except Gilly’s (and James’s). She offered me the Monet as a reward for discovering Max’s identity, and the Vermeer as a bonus for also unearthing his killers. I accepted. Perhaps I was an Heiress for Hire after all.
Mother remained in Bora Bora bliss with Jed.
Work finally began on the rebuild of my penthouse. Hopefully, it will be finished before Esmerelda finishes parole. Or Gregory starts parole. I adjusted the plans, dividing the ballroom into four uneven spaces: a smaller ballroom for balls; a small lab for Bailly; a lush office filled with Esmerelda appointed whiteboards, and computers, and my newly acquired art; and a panic suite in case of snakes. Or spiders. Or ex-boyfriends.
Searing and Burns lost human trafficker, counterfeiter and generally grotesque human Jeff ‘Stollywood’ Stolonosky. The house they’d had him ‘trapped’ in had a secret tunnel. Those seemed to be making a comeback.
On the upside, they solved an almost impossible cold case. Terence Lopez’s family finally had closure and were able to bury a beloved husband and father. That was two men out of the FMCCC’s deep freezer. I hoped this would inspire the AFP to officially open an enquiry into the Mediterranean Men’s Club. Then again, Esmerelda and I were getting the hang of investigating. Perhaps between shopping, snacking and spa commitments, we could find the time to, very quietly, dig something up ourselves. Perhaps an Heiress does need a hobby.
I tried to avoid contact with Searing. It was clear we could not be in the same room without getting physical. While this was not a terrible thing, I thought I might try to limit these instances to the times we just happened to be in the same room together. To be fair, I assumed that was going to happen quite regularly.
James Smith vanished into the night at Dame Elizabeth’s, which was no small relief since I had no idea what to do with him.
I was forced to rehire Carlo and Shane and the rest of the Avengers to protect Esmerelda from Jeff. This made Esmerelda furious but Patricia very happy.
Shale started dating Mayson.
Bettina Holly started dating Dylan Moss. He was helping her with the PR disaster that comes from having your sister and father in jail. I had her ex-boyfriend, the no-fly concierge, fired. Then I felt bad and had him re-hired.
I bought Bettina a replacement phone.
I sent Dr Lucas Carr, discreet periodontist, a fruit basket for his loyalty to Max. And a gold Rolex for his unintentional but helpful name slip.
According to the news, a freak lightning storm turned sand into glass at Palm Beach. This was freakish since no storms were recorded. Palm Beach children abandoned their au pairs and set about collecting the glass. Their ‘lightning glass’ art exhibition opens next week. It’s sold out.
Josephine refused payment for her time with Pasty, instead asking me to come real estate shopping with her and Halle. It hardly seemed like a fair exchange so I booked the Diamond Goat Health Spa out for a full week for them. They opted to take their Magic Model staff along for a well-earned vacation. I received many thankyou notes from both male and female spa staff.
I had the mystery informant cards checked for DNA. The lab found a tiny spec under one of the golfing Santa stamps. Bailly ran it through the state justice DNA database and got a hit: my CI was Detective Winters. After he broke his arm, Winters had had some concerns about Rope’s ability to find Max’s identity and he wanted Dame Elizabeth to be able to bury the poor homeless man found in her neighbour’s garden. He felt he owed her that much.
As luck would have it, both of his daughters were recipients of Holly Family scholarships, one a music scholarship for high school, the other an acting scholarship for NIDA.
He had assumed I would pass the notes on to Dame Elizabeth and she would hire a hot-shot private investigator. He was wrong.
Winters typed one-handed.
It occurred to me yesterday that I could just have asked Mayson the barber if Max had gills. He would probably have noticed, right?
Tahnee and Lizzy met Astor and Dame Elizabeth. They immediately bonded and started a foundation to provide assistance for children in foster homes and state care. They plan to fund everything from nursery furnishings and free gourmet school lunches (vegan options included) to after-school sports, tutors and psychotherapy. And full school and university scholarships. The combined Holly-Harraway fortune is a philanthropical force to be reckoned with.
Astor visits Gilly and Gregory in jail. Sometimes Lizzy goes too. Tahnee refuses to leave the Territory.
Astor is Scandinavian for ‘thunder god’.
Esmerelda did the Pazzia Australia cover. The sight of Dame Elizabeth in tears at Max’s funeral was too much for her, and it was the only thing she could think of to cheer the Dame up. She was paid an obscene amount of money and wore a white, deconstructed, upcycled tuxedo by Kit Willow with a neon blue wig (to ‘protect her rep’).
Esmerelda is the Banksy of the modelling world.
Franny was the stylist.
It did cheer Dame Elizabeth up.
Esmerelda’s eyebrows grew back. Eventually.
Bailly’s autopsy revealed that Max had collecting duct carcinoma, a rare and aggressive form of kidney cancer. Max was fit and relatively symptom-free, so the cancer was in its late stages by the time it was discovered. Watching his beloved wife waste away while undergoing violent cancer treatment had broken him, and he refused to put his daughters through the same ordeal. Tahnee and Lizzy knew about the cancer and had said their goodbyes before he went bush. They did not expect him to come home.
At some point Max must have decided to do something quite different with his last weeks and months. He flew to Byron, wooed Dame Elizabeth (again) and spent his remaining days living life to the full with the woman he had loved long ago and getting to know the child he had lost, but long loved.
And at only a million dollars, it was a steal.
EPILOGUE
Don’t touch that red button.
Because that button activates the security system and it’ll lock the store down.
By bringing all the security screens down.
I have no idea how much noise that would make.
We are here because Lizzy and Tahnee made me promise to attend the store’s re-opening.
Re-opening. When a store shuts down and then—just eat the canapés.
No, they’re not popping pearls, it’s salmon roe.
No, not from rowing salmon—they’re fish eggs.
Well, don’t eat those ones then!
Yes, those three people are staring.
No, I don’t care.
Okay, fine, I do care.
Yes, those are real pearls in the swag bags.
That bag they gave you.
Yes, they’re free.
No, you don’t get two.
Fine, take two.
Did you return that pearl neckla—Esmerelda! Is that Jeff coming into the store? Stollywood Jeff. It is!
Yes, he’s definitely had more work done. The nose. He’s in the vestibule, quick, press the red button!
Because he’ll be locked in there! Now, now!
You were right, it was loud.
Well, of course he looks mad, he’s stuck! Quick, call Searing.
Fine, call Burns then.
Did we just catch a murderer? A wanted international criminal? One of the Mediterranean Men’s Club criminals?
Why would I give you a raise? He wasn’t trying to kill me.
No, you cannot drive home.
I can absolutely drive in these shoes!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Nicola Robinson, commissioning editor at HarperCollins Harlequin Books Australia. Thank you for your faith and support in the adventures of Indigo and Esmerelda, and your belief in making a difference. You are wonderous, both professionally and personally. Thank. You. X.
Annabel Blay, you are truly magical when it comes to orchestrating editing: from choosing perfect editors to your compassionate, heartfelt communications. You make this a better book. Thank you. X.
Libby Turner, editor. It was such a pleasure working with you. Just the right amount of yin and yang. Your love of the characters and crime shone through. And anyone who uses the words ‘ridiculously talented’ is obviously very bright.
A big thank you too to proofreader Annabel Adair. You made my life so easy. It was a pleasure. Honestly. Wonderful.
And to Kasthury who assisted in difficult circumstances to give me insights and clarity that have made this a kinder, better and more understanding book. Thank you.
Tracey Spicer, journalist, advocate and a believer that rising tides lift all boats. Many thanks not only for taking the time to read Heiress on Fire, but also for your encouragement during the process. For your kindness and kind words, I’m grateful.
To Hannah Hunter, the best sidekick a single working mum could possibly have asked for. Those months with your help were bliss. Birmingham, Ivy, Jack and Ziggy are lucky to have you. Thank you. And CONGRATS on baby! X
Dr Kendall Bailey, forensic pathologist at the NSW Health Pathology’s Forensic Medicine service, your compassion for the living and the dead is extraordinary. Speaking and emailing with you gave me an insight into forensic pathology and autopsies I could never have achieved from a book. Thank you.
A big thank you to my bake-off partner-in-crime and unpaid focus group participant, Wendy. You are an all-round amazing soul and have been a beloved friend for many a year. Not that we’re old. Because we’re totally not.
Federal Agent Tina Westra of the AFP, I learned so much about the AFP from you. Your recall, understanding of laws, procedure and fine print, and eye for detail were so helpful. You are a complete legend. And I do literally mean that. I am beyond grateful for your time and expertise.
Federal Agent Jodie Hurley of the AFP (and sometimes policing partner of Tina Westra), you were so interesting to speak with. Your skills in analysing people and reading rooms is atomic level. Your frank unpretentiousness made me laugh. Thank you not just for the logistics, but for the stories.
Many thanks to Todd Harland, formerly of the Intelligence Division at AUSTRAC, and law enforcement, counter terrorism and intelligence expert. Todd was a veritable font of information about local and international organised crime and money laundering. And very free with his time. I could have chatted to him for hours. Oh, wait, I did.
Former AFP Federal Agent Mike Wilson, many thanks for your time and patience in answering my questions, especially those around joint projects between state and federal police, and the logistics of CIs.
Former AFP Chris Payne, many thanks for your time and patience during interviews about AFP history and background.
A huge thank you to the wonderful Julie Hope, assistant director media at the AFP, for sourcing some incredibly experienced female and male AFP detectives for me to interview. And then approving the interviews! I owe you coffee, Julie. You’ll get to meet some AFP characters in book three!
Any mistakes regarding policing procedure and forensics are my own and are not the responsibility of the source. I stuck to real life as much as possible, except when it did not suit me. Such as planes from LA arriving in Sydney at 3 pm. No, I know they don’t (when they’re running), but it worked so much better for me.
Please note that the naming of the FMCCC forensic pathologist character Dr Bailly was actually a complete coincidence. Now I just need a Harry and a Lailah …
To my walking partner Lou. Thanks for the chats. Life saving, life affirming and life improving.
To Ms Shona, who put together my website and then instead of accepting a free lunch, made me a free lunch, well, that story pretty much sums you up. Lucky to count you as a friend. Oh, and first reader and feedback giver. I could go on …
To Steph and Brenda, it’s been a tough year and you’re both still powering on. You’re wonders and I’m so grateful for you.
To my girlfriends, you know who you are. I could not do it without you. I big love you.
To my extended family, aunts, uncles and cousins, thank you for being my family. And pre-ordering my books! And telling people in Kmart to read my books.
Love to my mum and dad. I am so grateful for the positive support given over many years.
Thank you as always to my HP and my Ancestors who do so much of the heavy lifting.
To the readers, bookstore owners, buyers and book club members, thank you. Without you my hours, days, weeks and years of work are for naught. Like a tree falling in the forest with no one around. So, thanks for supporting me, buying my books, encouraging others to buy my books and most of all, for reading my books.
A shout out to those incredibly upbeat Bookstagrammers, social media and website reviewers and supporters who have enjoyed my books and encouraged others to enjoy them too. Writing carefully constructed, encouraging reviews is not as easy as it looks. It’s often unpaid, thankless work done by everyday people who just want to make a positive contribution. I wanted to say I appreciate it. You really make an affirmative difference in the world of writing, books and in the lives of many authors. Thank you.
Please look me up on Instagram or Facebook @MissMcCourt @KellieMcCourt or visit my website kelliemccourt.com.au. I’d love to hear from you (and crash your book club and author events!). See you in the next Indigo and Esmerelda Murder Mystery adventure!
Kellie x
ISBN: 9781867204312
TITLE: MURDER MOST FANCY
First Australian Publication 2022
Copyright © 2022 by Kellie McCourt
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* FIFO: those who Flew In to holiday once or twice a year at their $20 million homes only to Fly Out again a few weeks later.
** Sydiots: idiots from Sydney, who owned $10 million homes and visited on long weekends and during school holidays, and were never seen in between.
Kellie McCourt, Murder Most Fancy
